Thursday, 3 May 2012

Extreme Rules 2012

Egregious stupor altering the
wrestling landscape?

Taking place on Sunday April 29th 2012, from the Allstate arena in Rosemont, Illinois. With half of its card re-booked with the traditonal Wrestlemania rematches, and clouds over certain futures with new talent, was Extreme Rules able to deliver something new, or would it be simply same old re-runs told a bit differently?

Kane V Randy Orton

In a Wrestlemania 28 rematch from the previous month, the Big Red Machine challenged the Viper once more.

With Paul Bearer now providing part of the feud, being wheeled out for one show to use in an angle that served no purpose but was always pleasing to see Bearer back, saw Orton, on Smackdown, shove Bearer into a mass refridgerator locking him in, reminiscent of an abattoir.

Kane ventured to the cooler unit, where he opened the door and removed Bearer, to Paul’s delight asking that Kane came to save him. The big red monster told Bearer he needed saving, from Kane himself! The heated monster shoves Bearer in his wheelchair back into the refridgerator to send Orton the clear message, Kane will do anything to anyone he disagrees with.

At Extreme Rules their match followed where Bearer was mentioned “wonder if Paul Bearer is still in the refridgerator” – Jerry Lawler wondered. Maybe, he is in the air ventilator, where he can claim to be part of the WWE’s ‘Universe’ :D

This match didn’t take long to leave the ring. Both went through the crowd giving fans a feel of interaction. Though perhaps this segment should have been in the second match, in order to get them enthused after the first took place. Nethertheless, both travelled their way round to the top of the titantron, where on the ramp a dropkick was given by Orton where Kane blasély avoided contact quickly that this cheapened the spot. Using a dropkick, which connects, means the person receiving must take the effect and be sent flying. Such is the power of the dropkick manoeuvre.

Orton would attempt an RKO in the centre, where he was greeted in the face with a big boot from Kane.

This feud was rather lame by this point, and seemed irrelevant for both, though no one can deny the pairings efforts to make it work. Both soon took it backstage.

It seemed both almost ran into Jeff Jarrett in the toilets!

So 1993!

There was a double door behind them, and soon enough one of them was flung through it. This was the watching room, including WWE personnel.

Orton, up against the wall breatheless and weary... Mmmm...

Resident jobber Zack Ryder appeared from the corner (!) and assaulted Kane which had no effect on the monster. Though it halted him enough for Orton to gran and smash Kane into the steel pipes stacked against the wall.

What would have added to this moment would have been if one of them were flung through the wall. Though WWE didn’t build an exposed wall which could have added to the story and the stars involved.
End of transmission!

One cameraman even got knocked. Was that Sim Snuka?
Legs Akimbo! The sneakers flew up!

Booker T claimed “That’s it!” after a pinfall gained only two falls.

What occurred next wasn’t welcomed.

They grabbed the curtain open and went through it back to the stage. Talk about killing kafaybe! If any performer goes backstage and needs to make their way back to the ring, they must not travel through the curtain exposing the business line! Find another way, which will also add to the more extreme levels of the match around the arena. Most may be aware of the curtain, but it should not be exposed on TV so easily.

If it were to prove WWE aren’t behind a curtain, and hiding in the production truck outside instead, then this was invalid.

Alas, it was back to the PG version of a Falls Count Anywhere match. The pace was still slow in parts and many felt not much had happened in this match, largely to the structure of the PG tone.

Back in ring, the “Oooohh” chants came from the crowd, instigated from the UK shows, in anticipation of someone getting slammed. It is a chant that should be implemented everywhere by the WWE Universe, in order to highlight the speculation for wrestling. That one falls to all of you in attendance WWE Universer’s.

The time for steel had arrived. Steel magnolia! Steel chairs surfaced, before leaving to the outside, where we were on lead pipe alert (used earlier) in the corner of the ring. Would it be used again?

The Spanish announce table was in place. Orton, began dismantling the English one instead. Here, Kane gained the advantage, then Orton exposed his open legs! (Contender #2, though don’t stop there.)

In a Wrestlemania flashback, atop the same turnbuckle from last month, Orton, after prepping Kane carefully to make sure he wouldn’t reverse it, performed the superplex where a two fall by Orton came. Chokeslam following, with a two fall only. This became a slight heat burner the match craved. Perhaps near falls earlier in this heaty fashion would’ve ignited more also.

The cameraman did his job WRONG!
He didn't get the open leg shot! Imbecile!

The chair was once again set in place. The spot was obvious. Though who would it be? Kane set the chair. Anyone who sets their weapon for intended use will be setting their own fall, its customary wrestling etiquette. Attempting a chokeslam, Kane was bested and slammed with a vicious RKO from Randy Orton to end the match and claim the victory.

Both  are 1-1 apiece. Will there be a rubber match? In WWE land they will milk any feud to death, not realising it destroys everything possible when the last two were lacking in places. Instead of making a match just for the sake of it, created new opportunities. It bites another chunk of your integrity to book well away. Fans don’t buy into it anymore.

The first thought is to end this feud. No one won overall.  It created no possible outcomes or development for anything and proved to be a nothing feud filled with a waste of people’s time. This can destroy both superstars in fan appreciation. I would prefer it to end, however if the rubber match is done, Orton and Kane did provide an adequate match here tonight in the series, and their finest yet.

One thing I will say in their defence, is Orton’s portrayal as worn out, beat down, fighter adding to Kane’s prowress in wrestling psychology was a treat and respectfully enjoyed, and looking back on the card this was one of the best matches. Perhaps it should have been given more, instead of less.

Backstage Hoeski Eve, now an executive assistant toasted people power with Jonny Ace, who then received a call from Triple H. Teddy Long brought the champagne.

Eve, creating her WWE handbook of rules (Hmm, I wonder who does that?) missed one. She was drinking on the job! Ooh Err!

Impromptu Match
Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero V Brodus Clay w/ Naomi, Cameron & Hornswoggle

This was a brief match, though Clay was finally given a proper one, and WWE gave him a glitterball! Finally. The rest was not good. It was fair but Ziggler was eventually squashed in a match that saw him try, interference from Jack Swagger and filler space on the card.

Brodus Clay got his first real match victory. Ziggler needs to lose that ass cape!

Intercontinental Championship

Big Show (c) V Cody Rhodes

The standard Big Show match of today saw the bumbling “Behemoth”  dominate the whole match crushing any chance Rhodes were to try and gain making Cody look inferior once again on every level.

The switch last month at Wrestlemania, allowing Big Show to win the Intercontinental championship was implemented for one reason. Show has now held all WWE titles. How sad. To devalue a title just to say one person has held all titles. That is why no one respects the WWE’s decisions nor its titles. They mean nothing in WWE to WWE personnel and therefore why should anyone care anymore if WWE can’t do it right in the first place and honour its birthright the sport was built on. To win a title is the ultimate prestige, not to mention overcoming immense hardship in the challenge.

Show once again never sold for Rhodes, which has placed Cody down into a nothing superstar once again after his outstanding portrayal to retain some credibility to the title itself, let alone the business.

In the pre show, however, this match was decided by a spin of the Raw roulette wheel, because WWE couldn’t think of a feasible match months in advance. The stipulation fell to a Tables match.

Again, after being tossed around like a rag doll, as well as the IC title, Big Show in a humourous angle that would constantly have you laughing to the giggles saw the giant fall his foot through the table as he attempted to haul himself up by the ropes into the ring.

Yes. His foot fell down into the table.

While hilarious and memorable, Big Show’s title reigns are booked as buffonally, while Rhodes looks ever more the chump who couldn’t be credited with a meaningful win. It was a weak and disgraceful finish for fans paying cash to see another joke match.

Cody Rhodes became the new IC champion.

World Heavyweight Championship
2 out of 3 Falls

Sheamus (c) V Daniel Bryan

After speculation of wonder that Bryan might gain the first fall in 9 seconds, WWE decided to book this lucratively with time limits. Only when Sheamus is champion, eh?

After some powerful shoulder blocks as usual a submission occurred.

After speculation of wonder that Bryan might gain the first fall in 9 seconds, WWE decided to book this lucratively with time limits. Only when Sheamus is champion, eh?

After some powerful shoulder blocks as usual a submission occurred.

It all just felt the same old routine now as the standard procedure after a huge error was made.

It feels sighful, tiresome and places people in a whatever position.
Sheamus win’s the first fall.
Shea looking awkward in this non effort 'hold'.
Picture painting a 1000 words...

Bryan gained the second fall.

Brogue kicking out of the corner, then enabled us to see some of Bryan’s open legs once more, where he soon regained momentum kicking Sheamus in the head.
Danny got some more Open Legs in! Woot Woot.
He's taking everything serious!

Climbing to the top turnbuckle, Sheamus retailiated with punches. Shoved off, Bryan then performed a diving headbutt.

Sheamus, as predicted, cheaply rolled out of the way which devalued the match once again. It is choices like these, as well as the illogical build up at Elimination Chamber and beyond, that makes Sheamus in-attuned to how to wrestle matches anymore. He is weak, and intangible.

Get yer tongue out!

Shortly after to add to the defamation, the Great White pinned Bryan after he missed a headbutt for the 3rd fall to retain the gold and end the match without his own merit. Sheamus remains heavyweight champion.

Santino and The Great Khali were watching another monitor backstage.
Ryback V Two Independant Wrestlers
Two random rookies were in the centre of the ring, where WWE gave them time to cut a fair promo. In it they constantly repeated that the odds of two were better than one, especially in a handicap match, signalling their end before it began. The short twinkie looked a little like Ace Hawkins, and much more a star than the bulky one.

After their chitter chatter, Rob Van Dam appeared on the titantron. Oh, forgive me, it was Ryback.

Whose Ryback?

No, most people don’t know either.

Ryback is a bald guy in a leotard that looks reminiscent of a hybrid between Rob Van Dam and Goldberg.

Still confused? What about that bloke in the Nexus and in the original Tough Enough series some ten plus years ago? Ryan Reeves anyone? No? How about Skip Sheffield? Oh you got it now! Good.

Ryback was instantly met with chants of “Goldberg.” In a daft decision, Ryback crushed both jobbers on a PPV in a pointless display that generated nothing for all involved.

WWE are using the “bathroom break” spot to fill with promos, angles and allsorts to pass the time, which we praised last month, and still do, however booking stupidity into it with no logic doesn’t catch on or enthuse anyone.

The jobbers weren’t even employed by WWE and didn’t get anything out of this squash job. Whoever booked it needs to go back to ‘wrestling angles’ school.

Khali’s mumble of yo mama then lead to the next match.

WWE Championship
Chicago Street Fight
CM Punk (c) V Chris Jericho

Both decided to wear appropriate attire for this ‘Street’ battle. Jericho wore long jean pants while Punk had mini John Cena jeans.

“I can make a new John Cena!” – Vince McMahon.

It was and is the same John Cena cloned model inserted into the genome of CM Punk, a man who claimed would fight corporate cloned WWE for sustainable change.

The barricade took a pasting early on. Steel chairs came into play. ECW, Kendo Sticks, and jabs came through. Chris would seek refuge behind the referee.
Punk's sister, front row

Yelling upon impact after being nailed into/over by Jericho, Punk flipped over the barricade, in what was a weak and slowed down display that couldn’t come across as aggressive or powerful.

Later Jericho grabbed a soda with a new label glued on to represent a beer. Punk used a stick to nail Jeri in the groin. Hari Krishna! Punk prayed his salute before attempting a GTS.
Jericho, exposing the barrier lining taunted Punk with assault in front of his sister, who was well publicised at ringside in support of her bro. His sis slapped Jeri across the mouche forcing Y”J to charge for her where Punk instantly jumped in and saved his sister by beating Jericho.

Punk then dismantles the announce table, where Y2J counters with a backdrop. Jeri clobbers Punk with the monitor and table debris before moving him back to the ring for a two fall.

Punk returns with assault including a bulldog where the crowd support their hometown hero with chants. Punk then yanks the kendo stick in between Jericho’s goolies and sandwiches it back and forth like a sexy towel dance! Oooh! Punk goes for the GTs countered to a Walls of Jericho which was countered by Punk with a press slam with a two fall.

Punk climbs to the turnbuckle, though Jericho blocks and attempts a superplex instead. Punk shoves Jericho down to the mat, which sees the flying elbow drop from Randy Savage for a two fall.

After heated intensity with counters on each other’s moves and kick outs to generate heated auras, Punk soon finds himself in a Walls. Crawling under the ropes, for a break. This was a ‘Chicago’ Street Fight. There are no rope breaks.

Unable to break the hold, CM Punk reaches under the ring for a Steve Blackman moment grabbing a fire extinguisher. When will they have the kitchen sink or a toilet under there? CM squirted his Punk all over Jericho’s face and eyes forcing the break of tight clasped leg bending.
Je-ri-cho -OOhhh!!

Punk then goes for the gut cruncher smashing into Jeri, then sending him outside to place Y2J on the announce table, where Punk re-climbs the ring post.  After almost falling back in a tipsy motion, Punk nails the Shane McMahon elbow drop onto the announce table sending Jericho tumbling through it.

Punk locks on the Anaconda Vice, where his opponent smacks the kendo stick to get free, then berating Punk with lashings. The crowd then acknowledge “this is awesome!”  Jericho and Punk reverse finishers again, including a chair gut shot from Punk and a chair Codebreaker from Y2J.
Is he after a Kingfisher nomination? :)

Frustrated with no finish, Jericho hoists Punk up into a GTS, seeing Punk quickly grab the leg of Jericho upon raising to reverse tossing him aside to then catch off guard to nail the GTS on Jericho, allowing CM Punk to claim the three fall to finish and remain WWE Champion.
Rock on sista!
(Punk's real sister is in the black leather on the right)

After the “carnage” cleared, The Bella Twins came to prepare for their match. Vocalising their title reign (see below for the details in Raw Recaps) Nikki claimed she would have the most successful and lengthy reign along with sister Brie would also encouraged bringing back wrestling values to real women.

WWE Undisputed Women’s Championship

Nikki Bella (c) V Mystery Challenger

Who would be the mystery challenger? WWE’s red herring on Twitter, getting Kharma to tweet and fool the WWE Universe after all marks jumped to an obvious conclusion because Kharma’s message wanted to see a Bella or two get their commupance.

Natalya, Kharma, Aksana and the mystery woman were all mentioned by WWE Universer’s. Though most ignored the mystery challenger, unveiled as a returning Layla!

In an obvious and fair choice, Layla camback after a yearly abscence at the very PPV where she suffered injury after retiring Michelle McCool.

It was a quick match, which saw a turnbuckle climb, knock off and then Nikki switching out with sister Brie, who got nailed by a neckbreaker from Layla, where the returning Diva defeated Brie! Nikki Bella’s sister lost her the championship.

Speculation whether this would be the Bella Twins last WWE match were rife. Check this link – The Bella's say Bye Bye? and follow us in future to get accurate and in advance details!

People Power continued. Zzzz. Matt Striker was around the vicinity. For some reason he looked tasty tonight!

We moved on to the main event of the night

John Cena V Brock Lesnar

There is something wrong if you see a front row full of John Cena babies! Secondly, some regulator may need to look into this, as babies are UNDERAGE! Isn’t that illegal? They are not allowed into the arena. This was a complete oversight on WWE’s part and there is no excuse for its viability.

Cena’s grand moment was an epic ‘shove.’ The ire flared! It was Bare Brock Mountain! Lesnar pummelled Cena continually throughout the match proving his dominance and solidifying his return to WWE.

Cena would also be caught up in the turnbuckle on the top left  side in a chain leg hold. It was like Batista’s duct tape all over again. Don’t get me started on that one!

The crowd were looking, with no anticipation.

Getting hit into the steel steps, the leg chain miraculously broke off of Cena. Soon a two fall followed. Who’d a thought it, a fight with pinfalls?!

Brock in the centre now placed those steel steps, where he climbed them to signal Lesnar was king! He then went on to clasp an armbreaker onto Cena on the steps. Undertaker, Triple H and Alberto Del Rio must be miffed!
Crown Me! I would...

Cena did the lift up with great strength in hold and slam Brock onto the steps to break free routine.

Lesnar fought through the pain where Jerry Lawler diverted and called him “Superman” which is clearly John Cena’s trait.

Keeping the match/fight working, Lesnar ran to grab Cena at the ropes, where John cheaply smashed the chain over Brock’s noggin sending him crashing down. Cena ruins everything that was just built on this platform once again. Everything possible went sailing out the window.

With a fluke move, Cena defeated Brock in a sudden nonsensical decision that came out of nowhere in the narrative of the design. Bloodied, John Cena won.

After the match, John Cena committed another Kafaybe crime. He went off script, unplanned and cut a promo that WWE did not approve. He chose to thank the WWE Universe, which cheapened everything that happened and what he supposedly stood for. If anyone else did that they would be reprimanded, fired or severely berated. Brock Lesnar on the following Raw was said to be livid backstage that Cena undercut him. Cena went into business for himself once again.

WWE need to get their ideals in place. No one is bigger than the show, right Vince?

With Cena’s dried bloody face and able to talk so freely, this destroyed the so called ‘battering’ and brutality Cena was meant to follow through with. The fact he also cost WWE a male audience that Lesnar was re-invoking cannot be ignored.

Cena realised he cannot stand among the competition after having it so easy, once stalwarts like The Rock and Lesnar return. Cena undid all that work previously. This makes WWE’s product a waste of time and drives the wedge separating its Universe.

Big Show is a constant joke and cripples Rhodes at very chance. Confidence in Cody is slipping by all in WWE’s Universe, which is disgraceful for WWE to endorse.

Hometown hero CM Punk’s branded street fight for a cheap pop to receive a glowing positive response was retrograde. Punk and Jericho’s match however was decent, though was disjointed in places and couldn’t achieve the full potential it should have. It needed more speed, fluidity and aggression, that both have been working toward for the grand battle tonight.

Randy Orton and Kane’s rematch from last month was pointless, but a fair opener.

Layla’s return was so quick and cheap that WWE have no plans to make her achieve importance in its shameful Women’s division.

Brodus Clay was given an actual match, though it was at the expense of Dolph Ziggler.

Sheamus and Bryan was given time to seemingly correct errors last month, where in a reversal of fortune, WWE overbooked it with too much time that made it tiresome, Bryan can hold lengthy matches, but Sheamus was and is way out of his depth.

Hoeski Eve is dreadful at acting, but as Wrestling Wonders expressed, and created the Hoeski character, Eve is the only one who has a role. What a shocker, huh! Ryback and the jobbers were a waste of everyone’s time.

WWE believe it was good. The audience is divided. The fact remains; it was not too fantastic, was it?

What a royal cock up this was, though certain matches delivered something interesting to the product, but fans who bought it, you wasted your cash!

PPV Rating – 4.5/10

Men/Women of their matches – Randy Orton, Dolph Ziggler, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, The small jobber, CM Punk, Brie Bella, Brock Lesnar
Man/Woman of the PPV – Brock Lesnar

Raw recaps
  • On the 23rd April 2012 Raw, Beth Phoenix fought Nikki Bella in a challenge contested under Lumberjill rules.

While this match was satisfactory and decent, parts of it looked awkward when the Bella in question had to hoist Phoenix back into the ring after Beth sustained injury by jumping out of the ring earlier landing badly on he foot, giving way upon impact.

Once Nikki Bella won her first Women's title, she clearly showcased prestige, honour and respect for it! It was wonderful to see someone give a care about it so passionately.

  • On the post Extreme Rules Raw, on April 30th, both The Bellas, who could not defeat Layla in a quick rematch, later in the eveing became stroyline fired on, not even given a proper exit, saw the end for the Bellas for now, as they have chosen to part way with WWE for the time being.

  • John Cena, in a sling, also parted for a while. His reason, rumoured to be that Mr.Cena is having a baby! We are happy they are having a baby, so congrats, but please do not introduce them into wrestling!

    Before Extreme Rules was the pre-show in which The Miz was booked on. Shambolic. Miz also lost to defending champion Santino Marella in a United States title match, to warm the show up for fans in attendance.

    For Miz to be booked so derogatory in fans eyes was unnacceptable to a man who has not only given everything to represent the company, but to come back into his stride as a star the audience recognise is one, regardless of like or dislike.

    The Miz has been named The Marine 3 for WWE latest film project, - check here for details. The Miz named pelagic hero in The Marine 3

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    © Max Waltham 03rd May 2012

    1 comment:

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