TNA Bound for Glory
Coming live from the Viejas Arena on pay per view in San Diego, California on Sunday 20th October would TNA bypass its financial difficulties, lacklustre booking and drive forward fan involvement. Would this level of encouragement to audiences further elevate TNA's future prospects if it gets tonight correct? Let's find out...
X Division Championship
Ultimate X
Jeff Hardy Vs Austin Aries Vs
Chris Sabin w/ Velvet Sky Vs Samoa Joe Vs Manik (c)
Sky enters and almost trips over
he own feet. In this Ultimate X match the objective is to unhook the title
dangling from the middle of the ring, held by the ropes above in an X
formation. How novel.
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| Former World Champion |
Former flop Heavyweight champion
Chris Sabin was worked over by Joe and flattened with a running crush of body
in corner post. Hardy and Aries are seen
climbing the pole structure. Aries soon hurled out by Mank and Hardy. Manik
worked over by Hardy and Sabin. Manik applies a Boston Crab on Sabin as Aries
breaks the hold and flings Manik across. Aries scales cables again as Hardy
stops once again. Aries stops everyone with outside dive and then climbs again.
Manik pulls Aries down as Taz says of Manik “has back against the wall” in a
sad play on words. The announce team really need to think when they word such
details. Manik and Sabin took a tumble outside as Aries and Joe take it back in
the ring. Aries holds bout together again with Joe and Hardy until Joe returns
behind submission and swing around of Aries. Manik then climbs above a
underneath Joe as the crowd laughs. Joe then splashes Manik. Sabin then runs in
with a dropkick. Sabin waits for Hardy to backflip launch onto him from
turnbuckle. Only Aries is workable here with a second support of Hardy. Huge
gasp as Manik launches far atop the rope and meets Aries in the middle. Sabin
used ladder to stop both as crowd so unappealed by lame duck Sabin. Sabin tells
Velvet skank to stop his competitors as Hardy in ring by Sabin. Hardy moves her
away as Sabin climbs ladder, stops Hardy, Manik from behind dealt with by Aries
and Joe approaching as Chris Sabin snatches the title by climbing a ladder in an
extremely abysmal ending.
Sabin is not any level of
championship material. TNA realised he was awful as Heavyweight, so it rewarded
him with the traditional jobber title Sabin has constantly been assigned to for
past years.
Kazarian entered a borderline homophobic
transcript regarding Brokeback Mountain proving exactly who the biggest
embarrassment was. Then he finished adding all the audience were “turds.”
Hardly a way of getting interest. Christopher Daniels then blabs on with uninterested
without any “facts” and broke kayfaybe numerous times with “swerves” and made
no interesting point or level of interest other than a moaning jobber desperate
for attention. Hobo Eric Young then interrupted after their request for
inclusion in the upcoming tag match was requested. TNA wonders why it is in
financial and audience disaster. No appealing characters and inadequate script.
After a predictable beating on Young, moronic hand gestured liability Abyss
takes the pair out.
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| Offensive Cruiserweight Kazarian and Bro Daniels |
Fish tank Borash, who said we
were all monitoring your feedback backstage to promote Social Media interviewed
the god-awful Gunner and partner James Storm, tag champions. This the best TNA
has to offer?
Tag Team Championship
Gauntlet
Jesse and Robbie E w/ Phil Heath Vs James Storm and Gunner (c)
Mr. Olympia chaperones the Bromans.
Robbie E and Jesse are placed together in a lame ass team name. Godderz needs
better than this.
Storm and Gunner going the show.
Can we feasibly believe that The Bromans will win against the defending tag
champs in first Gauntlet pairing? Ridiculous booking mars any progress TNA can make
in credibility.
Jesse maintained strong strength,
kept match together and sold for the pitiful Gunner. Jesse kept the match
together. Slight support came from Storm also in a hot tag moment.
A “Fire Bischoff” chant was also
heard.
Robbie E almost eliminated Storm
on a close DDT as Storm gashed his leg. Jesse told E to duck and got planted by
Gunner instead. After close double team Jesse saved E with a spin over pinfall.
This would have been better if the pin was rewarded. E hurled a title inside to
knock down Storm and double team with Jesse who then allowed a pin for him and Robbie E. Not much of a Gauntlet match but
hey, at least Jesse is workable as a champion. The pair joined with Mr.Olympia
in celebration who poses shirtless. At least Jesse is champ out of all this.
Though many cannot take the team as a credible championship pairing.
Jeremy Borerash presented the “Hall
of Fame dinner” for the second entry, Kurt Angle.
“The Icon” Sting was introduced
to pass the baton and induct Angle into the Hall of Fame, live, in the ring, at
Bound for Glory and not at an actual ceremony. Sting gave Kurt a shiny badge
for his endorsement.
Rolex watch for Kurt. That’s your
gift for being honoured for all your achievements. Angle was not impressed.
Angle “respectfully declines” this induction in order to “set a new standard
for this industry.” Hmm. “Stinger, when I am worthy, I will join you in the
Hall of Fame.” TNA used Angle’s induction for some cheap heat that generated no
interest. All you get is some crap watch anyway.
Dixie gets a phone call. “I have
a great idea.” Some ill devoid tool called Ethan Carter the third strolls along. “The
world needs us, were the Carter’s.” Holy hell. Is he Dixie’s son? Another
attempt at a Max Waltham rip off while channelling Fandango is an hilarious new
low for dumbass Dixie. Formed on the model and altered by TNA in their uncharismatic way is plain stupidity. He is ten times below average genome at best.
Knockouts title
Triple Threat
ODB (c) Vs Brooke Vs Gail Kim
ODB is apparently “still drunk
from Thursday” according to Taz. ODB flings Tessmanker across the ring. Takes
Kim out with strong dominance. Rotten bimbo Brooke grinds her booty on ODB
after ODB Bronco Bust’s Brooke hilariously. Kim returns with ODB getting best
of her.
Brooke sneaks up and hurls Kim
out and takes top faceplant to ODB. Two fall. After a long while Brooke jumps
up and bangs her crotch atop ODB’s back to knock her down. Brooke’s strongest
offence was to walk around and circle the defending champion. The crowd are
entirely bored. Brooke sits atop ODB in a disgusting pin. Kim grabs Tessmacher
and locks her legs into hold by the ring corner from the outside as Brooke
works her body back and forth like writhing along a bed. She then takes out Kim
with ease. ODB and Tessmucker continue slow pace with champion gaining appeal with
technical approach. Kim charges in a stops Brooke tapping. Brooke and Kim on
top as camera shows image of Brooke’s open ass cheeks in fishnets. Brooke gets
an elbow drop after all fall off.
ODB destroys pair of them as a
suplex on Kim broken by Brooke. Brooke runs out the way and pulls ref in way as
ODB hits, then Kim follows running dropkick. ODB double backdrops both until
Tessmacher gets free. The Chaka Khan wannabe Lei’d Tapa (pronounced Lady Tapa) arrives though tonight looking like an alcoholic Beyonce.
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| Would you tap 'er? |
Tapa took champ ODB down with a big boot up the ramp. Brooke, atop turnbuckle stupidly
jumps on Tapa who caught and smashed her into the ring as the crowd cheered. Gail Kim covers from the powerbomb to scramble over for the title to win.
Tapa
then grabs the title and sends message to Kim as her next challenger for
winning her the title. No, Tapa raised Kim’s hand and proved to be in alliance with
her instead. Kim is champ on a dirty win. Tapa has no stage presence whatsoever.
The Bromans celebrate backstage as
the announcer backstage terribly falls around from a mild spray of protein
shakes on the floor.
Booby Roode then came to bore the
audience more moaning about Kurt Angle’s declining Hall of fame induction.
Bobby Roode Vs Kurt Angle
(S*)IT Factor Bobby Roode enters
the fray after all his whining. Into back hold into takedown and stalemate face
off. Lock up again. Angle wrenches arms around and worked down in hold by
Roode. Shoulder block takes down Angle. Yes, “IT” Factor Roode knocks Angle
down on a shoulder barge. Roode follows up with a run the ropes shoulder barge
of Angle next. The Roode match script is below.
*Shoulder Barge. Run ropes.
Shoulder Barge. Stand still. Walk. Stare. Bark*
Work outside now as Angle turns
around and slams Roode down onto the ground. Angle rolls him in. Roode rolls outside after
a counter. Rolls him in ring. Elbow hammers Angle from outside. Roode then does
a move and gets a two fall on Angle. Are there pins in a submission match. Roode
works a arm lock submission on Angle for a few minutes. Roode dropped on
counter momentum run through from Angle. Kurt launches a suplex but fails to
complete. Lands another pin to cover for two. Kurt runs into lazy Roode with a
spinebuster. Roode on floor pushes Angle off with his feet then sidesteps a
running Angle. Roode then applied a Daniel Bryan YES! Lock rip-off on Angle,
down on the ground to no impact nor pressure applied. Roode then climbs atop turnbuckle placing
Amgle on it and simply then falls himself off in a dire botch. Just throw
yourself off, huh? Kurt went for Moonsault as lazy Roode moved aside and then
applied the YES! Lock once again. Angle reversed into a standing and
uninteresting leg lock as usual. Roode simply stayed there on the floor in
hold. Roode then rolled Angle through into a counter chinlock again. Reversed
into a pin by both with no end. Roode re-applied a YES Lock. Taz yells “three!”
as Angle had a pinfall unheard due to such pitiful over zealousness ruining the
momentum. Roode traditional throws limp hand jabs. Angle gets hit from Roode
with a low blow as Angle falls down. Roode takes a breather spot. Does a neckbreaker.
Two fall. Angle rolls through another leg lock submission. Turn into a “Grapevine”
leg lock. Roode almost reaches rope and just lies on the mat. Disgraceful sell.
Roode feigned a passout as ref raised hand so he could reach the rope. Fans
loudly chanted “Bullsh*t!” for such a terrible match procedure. Angle place
Roode onto the turnbuckle in what is now another boring moment in the match.
Angle lands suplex as both down on the ground.
Roode stands to his feet at 9 then
falls down back onto Angle’s “knocked out” body as Bobby Roode gets the pinfall and
three fall. A guy centre railings peers down into camera to hilarious asked “What!?”
for the shoddy ending. TNA doing the Angle is not moving and ruined angle as
Roode spits onto the canvas from his mouth, on ground. The stretcher soon
arrives for Kurt.
To his credit Angle worked the non-moving
role perfectly.
Kurt then simply got off the
stretcher, absolutely fine, ruining any progress previously made. What a stupid
concoction.
Bully Ray is seen talking to a
random figure in a doorway. Asking about rebirth and colours to his untrusting “brother.
“Tonight is all about out creed” white man Ray states.
Ethan Carter III Vs Mystery
Opponent
The mystery opponent was Norv
Fernum.
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| Cocky Carter |
Yes Ethan Carter’s first opponent
is some random jobber. The Ryback era begins for TNA. The crowd were on the
side of the jobber. Carter threw Norv around to no impact, interest and
silence, with the occasional “bo-ring!” Carter then asked “Do you love it?”
Fernum gained two fall on Carter. Then
came an easy DDT. Ethan Carter “the third” grabs a pointless first win. No one
cares.
Ethan is revealed as "The nephew of Dixie Carter" by the announce team, Mike Tenay. Thanks for clearing that up so late in the bout.
Drab squib Magnus had an interview blabbering on about nothing interesting and a load of words that cant be re-counted.
Sting Vs Magnus
Constant loser Magnus, who could
never achieve a win on television or of any interest for being so bland was
given a sympathy match by Sting.
Sting shoulder blocks Magnus who
only walks back two steps and wiggles finger in no motion. Puts Sting into accommodating
headlock. Sting shoves underachiever Magnus down. Obnoxious Magnus jabbed by
Sting with a elbow knocking him to outside. Magnus walks around outside gazing
into nowhere as Sting allows Magnus back in the ring then hurls Magnus all over
the ring.
As Sting is back in the ring from
walking around outside Magnus places leg lock over Sting’s waist. Magnus gives
a few bland uppercuts. Sting flings into corner and flips him over. Pummels
drab Magnus with clotheslines and momentum into the Scorpion leg lock. Magnus
scurries free and gave smashed down in double clothesline.
Sting slaps Magnus who just
stands there with no effect then Hulk’s up and screams “ahh” to a silent crowd.
Gets minor two fall. Goes for submission and kicked off by Sting. Magnus
splashed by Sting and collapses into mat. Sting locks Magnus in submission again.
Lying still in ring Magnus eventually grabs the rope. Sting runs into an
uppercut to give Magnus an advantage. Magnus jumps with a boring elbow drop.
Two fall as Taz explains he “got a little cocky on that cover.” Moronic Magnus
goes for another attempt at an unappealing move with crowd and misses. Magnus
gives two elbows to Sting who then falls down. Hilarious. Magnus walks towards
Sting and tips him into a submission. Locks on a loose holding leg lock only
standing there and grimacing. Sting then taps out. Magnus then simply smiles
and walks away.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
No Disqualification, No Countout
Bully Ray (c) w/ Brooke Vs AJ Styles
AJ “has no contract” and “has to
win” Taz says, in order to remain in this company. Bully Ray walks around and
holds AJ by the wrist to work him around, mildly. Styles easily smashed by
clothesline. Ray trash talks AJ instead saying he fears him to compensate for
Ray’s lack of skill.
Garrett Bischoff arrives after
Brooke screams as Bully Ray magically pulls out a plastic hammer. AJ kicks the
arm freeing the hammer from an attack as AJ hold to smash and is caught by a
slap from Ray to fall down. Ray starts limping now. Always good for a laugh.
But whose laughing? Ray slowly walks around the ring and ear waves in Hogan
motions. How sad. A champion that constitutes walking around and doing nothing
to hide lazy work.
AJ surges at Ray who just stands there and talks to Ray who
then smacks him. AJ now back up and stares down again. Kicks legs and dropkicks
feet of Ray. The bearded Knux arrives as AJ jumps from set turnbuckle, caught
and chokeslammed by Knux. Two fall. Ray then clotheslines Knux by accident outside
after an altercation with the referee Earl Hebner. “A crushing blow” Taz adds
as Ray runs a toe kick into Styles gut to send outside. Head smash against
announce table as Ray picks up the plastic hammer once more. Styles jumps up
and smacks an enziguri on Ray. AJ holds the hammer firm. Styles smacks Ray’s head
on table instead. Styles jump flips with
force as Ray easily moves again and Styles plummets throughout the broken
table.
Ray perplexingly opens the entire
ring and reveals the board of the ring in a completely disgraceful expose to
wrestling. Styles fell onto the hammer
after. Ray calls for his boys to come out.
Dixie asks for a chair to pass to
Ray. AJ jumps atop ropes and launches into Ray. Styles launches a 450 on Ray
for a cover as Carter tells official not to count. Earl counts one as Ray kicks
out. Countered Styles Clash by Ray over the planks on Styles. Ray bothches a
standing foot stomp. Ray over extends his launch as back elbow barley touches
AJ on drop.
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| Dix |
Bully smashes chair over Styles twice. Kick to the head from Styles
in another game of turnaround AJ smacks chair as Ray puts both his hands in
front of face to botch the shot once again. Spiral Tap from AJ landed on Bully Ray as
AJ Styles wins the World Heavyweight Championship.
PPV Rating - 3/10
Men/Women of their matches – Austin Aries, Jesse, ODB, Kurt
Angle, Norv Fernum, Sting, AJ Styles
Man/Woman of the PPV – AJ Styles
TNA aimed to recreate Pay Per View that would at least
interest fans and return favour to Styles as centrefold of TNA. So awful was the
PPV that it achieved such success. Fans were pleased for Styles to dethrone the
tiresome Ray. Though they weren’t exactly jumping off their chairs for Styles,
either. They just wanted out of the lingering disaster that is Bully Ray and
his biker brutes. Ray, as usual, didn’t work the match and botched all over the
place once more. It is embarrassing behind comprehension for wrestling as well
as this company and his opponents.
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| Laughable (then) heavyweight Champion Sabin |
Chris Sabin was given a transitional Heavyweight run.
Realising such a hasting and clueless fan favourite cashing in his loyalty card
was a mistake, TNA went one better. They decided to favour him the X Division
title instead. Sabin, a TNA original, propping up the bar in random loserville
matches and easy title wins meaning nothing is troublesome for all involved.
This is the extreme mentality of the dysfunction on offer in TNA.
Austin Aries held the match together and was the only stand
out factor, often misplaced by TNA bigwigs making him the fool to do all the
work and not be rewarded with anything. The only hope for Aries is to
eventually move back into the heavyweight ranks.
The tag team match was the PPV’s best bout and yet was not
the best quality on offer. Only Jesse was able to keep the match in decent
levels of compact togetherness. Storm added occasional support but both men
were relegated to minor roles often, in favour of comedian spots. If TNA had brains,
as mentioned before by us, this tag title run should be a stepping stone to
prepare Jesse for future heavyweight contention. It needs to get its act together, but it
probably can’t figure how without the right people involved.
Magnus is the biggest waste of television and wrestling
space available and should not be on television in any company. The
performances are so bland, uneventful and pathetic it makes TNA a bigger laughing
stock than usual. Sting did an average but lacking performance as well as a
result.
Angle kept similar rank when working with dross fad Bobby
Roode. Lazy and apathetic, Roode should not be booked so highly any longer when
he ruins the competitor he battles with for being misplaced and ever so free
flowing. Advice for watching a Roode match. Put the kettle on and watch a TV
soap form 25 – 30 minutes. How many times was the YES Lock used in the last
three minute period and it still couldn’t get over? Oh dear.
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| Seating arrangement at Bound For Glory |
Even Norv, the jobber guy couldn’t make Ethan slick haired
block Carter work. Carter, as he is, is a truly useless block of muscle that
cannot get over and will fail continually should TNA continue such ill throughout
procedure.
Overall, one of TNA’s ‘Big four’ should have catered a much
better production for its fans and lack of funds and low talent is no excuse.
It could easily have been achieved. At this rate, with TNA’s constant
mismanagement and lacklustre understanding of wrestling values will continue to
ascertain empty crowds in seating and interactive aspects. Clueless Carter, who
inherited a wrestling company from her father, has no understanding of
wrestling business. Continuing at this rate, TNA will soon fold if nothing
strong is undertaken to save this company and only carter can do so. Is she
really that stubborn to save it that she will cause it to implode? This is the
result. It needs to hire people who can support the show or wait for the
inevitable fall. Hogan, Bischoff and even Jarrett won’t be able to save it for
the new age, but can Dixie Carter honestly figure out what’s best for business
or simply become entirely arrogant. Her new transformation into company upset
has not been of any interest and exceptional laughable. With money to burn
Carter should hire proper people. Unless it does, TNA won’t resurrect at all
and continue to worsen with bad executive decisions. Where will that leave the
wresters in the stockpile, too? The ball is firmly in your court, darlin’.
© Max Waltham 21st October 2013
