Friday, 28 July 2017

WWE Battleground 2017

WWE Battleground 2017

After months of WWE's bungled PPV's all being nothing but trash insertion filler would Sunday July 23rd's Battleground, live from the Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia fare any better before the mega Summerslam extravaganza?

Let's find out.

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) w/ Big E Vs The Uso's (c)

It was a predictable starting match where WWE's booking of The Uso's (at its most disastrously, with racial profiling to boot) had the hoodlums against the newly switched Smackdown tag team of The ever stale New Day.

This time was different though. They decided to let third wheel and WWE hoeski Paige lover Xavier Woods play this time. Male sex scandals are often rewarded highly in WWE.

Paige, Woods and Brad Maddox engage in threesome
scandal WWE chose to dismiss.
(Paige has since been involved in a domestic abuse
attack on new lover Alberto Del Rio.)
After numerous back and forth of standard tag match filler, with the character types of New Day always seen beforehand, and The Uso's desperate attempts to shine among being used as fodder failed them. 

Talented but booked horrendously, The Uso's predictably lost their titles to the New Day's Kofi and Woods. WWE will most likely ruin the titles once more with the three team can defend a two team title. Are ratings down? WWE doesn't even takes its own rules seriously any longer.

It was boring and standard warm up section to cover WWE's favourites who have lost all depth for over a year and a half. WWE need to split Woods and return to NXT.

Shinsuke Nakamura Vs Baron Corbin

The new chosen one, still filling into jobber slots, namely Baron Corbin, was playing flyswatter with some random acrobat. Cruiserweight trying to be main eventer and untranslatable goon in Shinsuker Fu*kamoron was another useless nothing match which ended in another weak disqualification end for Shinsuke Nakamura.

World Class.
We've seen these repeats every PPV from WWE, which prove how outdated and loosely lost WWE are with its programming for the modern age. No one cared again. Why should they? Both are dreadful performers who are way too green and eagerly redundant.

Fatal 5 Way
Charlotte Flair Vs Tamina Vs Lana Vs Becky Lynch Vs Natalya

The winner of this one will get a number one contendership to the Smackdown Women's title next month at Summerslam. Ugh. Another contenders match? How original.

Looking like the favourite from the start either Charlotte or Lana where the favourites with many on the assumption of WWE booking as it has done so predictably for the last three years. It was another mess of WWE/rushed divas as women branding awkwardness.

Charlotte, who also caused a sex scandal two months
ago, like Paige, blames others whilse causing
PG image of WWE to prove its perversive nature.

Always WWE know how to ruin potential female successiveness and then claim they have re-established the Women's Revolution tag that Max Waltham created. They simply have no idea what they are doing and fans and critics have finally realised, they aint me.

First out was predictable as Becky Lynch submitted Tamina with a very sloppy Dis-Arm-Her. She then immediately removed Lana with the same submission seconds later, which made a useless waste of two potential growers for WWE's Smackdown females in short supply, for Becky Lynch, a random floater of zero value.

Natalya came in after and rolled over Becky Lynch with the tights grab roll up to pin her out of the battle.

Once again it was another replay of Nattie and Char-lie. Blergh! 

Nothing new and Charlotte Flair was carried the entire bout by veteran Natalya, often despised by WWE in favour of Charlotte 'my daddy's surname love-in' flair, which doesn't fully connect with actual fans how she should.

No thanks.
After a shocking transitions of good bad, Natalya-Charlotte barbs, Charlotte Flair was rolled up randomly by Natalya, with another tights grab, to win the match and be named the new surprise contender to current Smackdown champ Naomi next month.

After the match Naomi offered the winner a sporting handshake, which was refused. Great match building and victory roll. Meh!

WWE United States Championship
Kevin Owens Vs AJ Styles (c)

AJ Styles randomly won the strap a week or so back on a house show, non televised. Lol. Tonight Owens was given another hand me down opportunity of protection from Triple H's overly-green-fandom club of pals instead of talent. For the last three years Owens has managed to drop something. The ratings. WWE wish to be defiant with ignorant fellows. The results are telling. WWE feel they can do whatever they want and win. Good luck with that. You've already lost.

Even the armpits speak volumes.
To further alienate and destroy the linage of the United states Championship, an acrobat against an overly fat, and disgusting pig by fan standards just because Triple H feels sorry for him, was another joke of a run for WWE's freebie title handovers. Gone is the talent and in is the Indy darlings of high ignorance that have ended WWE's successive transitions of being 'down with the fans' for their own BS.

Styles the acrobat did his three bouncy moves throughout as Owens traditionally got out of breath early, rolled around on the floor and yelled again and again. Spin us a new yarn.

Furthermore WWE was hit by another sex scandal as Kevin Owens had his naked pictures released online, which he instantly denied. The photos were instantly removed offline. If they are real then they can only be removed if they are of you. Therefore that means the photos are authentic and those photos were of Owens. Another perverted, useless hack in WWE. Triple H has laced the company well for a future of failure, on his mark fandom favourites.

Once again the talented Kevin Owens messed up the ending as he was not supposed to win and pinned AJ Styles to win the title in a bungled botch that was done too quickly that Styles wasn't aware to kick out. That also shows just how crap Styles is too as being untrained in depth outside of a technical wrestler than an Action Man figurine in real life. The pair were doomed from the start of this pitiful series that WWE knew would be bad but convince themselves it can work, just because they have no other stars to put together. the Indy luv-in is over.

On the following Smackdown episode, Chris Jericho predictably returned and cost Kevin Owens the title, back to AJ Styles, which once more makes a complete turd fest of the US title. Again it is officially worthless, yet WWE felt these two were rebuilding it up. WWE booking at its finest hilarity. Blinded by their own lunacy.

The action was entirely sloppy, laboured and breathtakingly numbing boredom.

John Cena Vs Rusev

SuperCena, the WWE cartoon.
A repeat battle from the two returning stars thrown together once more through lack of stars, WWE's Smackdown side put the pair in a battle of Flag waving again.

Cena did his regular routine run through with an Attitude Adjustment on Rusev, who countered with a jumping mule kick with sheer talent and style. Rusev has continued to improve his game and is one of WWE's loved, now hated, yet overly talented stars that is treated will male-nourishment by the booking goons with no in-depth talent or skills today of what works.

Cena, the free agent (?) who is exclusive to the Smackdown brand from Wrestlemania's post Superstar Shakeup failure, reclaimed his SuperCena animation. The cartoon resurgence of Cena managed to AA slam the Bulgarian Brute into two tables to crush him down.

Cena, who has never lost a clean one on one match for decades, and continues his overly animated approach as a cartoon, comically raised the US flag, which was all so destroyed in the previous battle over the actual title. Fans could not care less about another empty John Cena win 'representing' Americans who can't stand his lacking repertoire over a growing concept to achieve.

Sami Zayn Vs Mike Kanellis w/ Maria Kanellis

Former TNA miracle Mike Kanellis, nee Bennett, battled with Sami Zayn. So the Kanellis's are nasty now from last month's soppy, loved up lovefest? This was another confusion to fans on WWE's lacking direction.
Saddled into the filler match early on, Mike 'no personality or depth' Kanellis, who may be a decent guy, but has no character, surprisingly lost to random jobber Sami Zayn. Hilarious.

Mmm, dat tongue, doe.
Kanellis is now seen by many fans as a constantly failure in Impact Wrestling, Ring of (no) Honor and Independent promotions.

Well done WWE.

No one cared about toilet break personified.

WWE Championship
Jinder Mahal (c) Vs Randy Orton

Resident steroid abusing champion of WWE, Jinder Mahal, endorsed by WWE for an Indian expansion overseas branding, which shames Indians than raises them, was still trying to hold a credible jobber to champion rising.

Vince McMahon has always been desperate to use the Punjabi Prison structure, which he has had locked up in storage for the last twenty years, rotting away. The embarrassment that cost more than just money in a lock up, features bamboo walls and a trap door cat flap. Lol.

Outnumbered by lunacy.
This was the third ever one. Vince, babe, you should have set it on fire.

This boring battle was a waste of time and once more held up by the extraordinary talents of Randy Orton trying to make Jinder Mahal have some type of credible relevance which can never be achieved.


WWE reward steroid abusing junkies and expect to keep a family friendly company, with older adults engaged to over veined, bulked up abusers who have zero talent and placement over actual stars.

It would not be a surprise to any that the glorious champion of chance had his regular boyfriends arrive. The pint sized Singh Brothers came to help interfere for Jinder once again. Hasn't this already been done, like every match?

So original was the battle, that after Randy Orton took care of those silly Singh's, a towering former World Champion of India, accustomed to the Punjabi Prison, came leering down the ramp.

Sexy Jinder's Before and Afters

Mmmm, those veins. *vom*

This isn't Jinder.

The Great Khali (wow) marched to the ring and climbed the Prison. This itself was an inconceivable laugh than serious interaction. Entering the Bamboo walls, Khali choked out Randy Orton as Jinder Mahal was able to escape the Bamboo cage and retain the worthless WWE Championship once again in another lunacy booking of assistance and failure.


PPV Rating - 1/10

Men/Women of their matches - Kofi Kingston, Baron Corbin, Natalya, Neither were good enough, Rusev, Mike Kanellis, Randy Orton

Man/Woman of the PPV - The Great Khali

Once more WWE's Battleground PPV was another sad washout, worse than ever before.

We explained how WWE and wrestling is in serious decline in 2017 and beyond and WWE continue to prove it. WWE has failed to be me, snub me and can't emulate me. With its failed actions, idea and Indy bookers backstage giving freebies to their pals with a tedious 'writing' team of nepotism and marks, alongside the biggest ignorance hirer of WWE's failed future, Triple H, WWE is failing terribly.

The Airhead Era.
WWE will always make it seem like they are fine, but in true honesty, the company is the pits and sinking fast. All down to Triple H's madly hateful ego and Vince McMahon having to appease his daughter's delicate plus one.

Though... that's their problem isn't it?

While he praises Triple H publicly to keep peace, Vince is clearly trying to finally regain some steed from his failed years with the HHH Indy-Ignorance call ups. The damage has already been done and Vince thoroughly endorsed it at the highest of peaks.

The ratings have plummeted and WWE, who continue to bribe ratings companies, beg advertisers with no affiliation to the business and top up its own stock to seem credible, cannot fool anyone except WWE themselves.

The show is useless, boring, wasteful and worthless viewing with titles and stipulations. Even the hype of an 'attraction' has been lost. What reason is there to watch and waste people's lives on WWE, which will never materialise in a modern age at this rate of failure.

Vince McMahon hates being labelled in the same word as failure, but there he is. All thanks to his wayward bookers, writers, and hiring lunatic marks hating on the one shining glory WWE and Vince copied, snubbed and above all else, is the one person WWE just can't get.

Oh the hilarity.

This PPV like all before it this year, bar one, is another pitiful 1/10. That is a serious issue for WWE not to dismissed and mull over with a serious drawing board than media appearances or tabloid begging for a random bit of 'buzz' which is just another laughable fail of epic proportions.

You're Welcome.

© Max Waltham 28th July 2017

All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

WWE Great Balls of Fire 2017

WWE Great Balls of Fire 2017

Coming live on Pay Per View on Sunday July 9th, 2017, from the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas, WWE launched a brand new PPV. A ridiculous name already slated by scores of fans and critics for its idiotic name, phallic logo resembling a penis and testicles and a rip off from the music song by Jerry Lee Lewis, WWE had its worse brain fart yet. WWE planned to cheat again, but had to settle the copyright dispute it often likes to steal from. How double standard of WWE. This was before the PPV even began.

There was nothing short of repeat matches and standard filler resembling another pitiful Raw show card, with zero logic involved. Would it be able to stand up above the critique and deliver some entertainment or simply gloss over cracks that currently rip WWE infrastructure apart?


Let's find out.

Bray Wyatt Vs Seth Rollins

Now that's creative.
WWE will naturally copy.
Up first was a random event thrown together out of nowhere. The latest cover star in WWE's annual video game repeat series of trash, Seth Rollins, has to battle the eerie dimensions of the start/stop superstar of indecision, Bray Wyatt.

With an awful job by WWE, and a match laced with skill but filler for the starter, Rollins technique and aerials against Wyatt's slower, creepy stance, it was intriguing but fell flat. That's how lame WWE's booking and writing committee have ruined all it's worth. It was insanely underwhelming and just dead air, which is a shame for two of WWE's potential performers who have been tainted as weak and useless for months.

Rollins has no role or being and Wyatt is much the same. In a baffling choice, WWE selected Bray Wyatt as the winner over Seth Rollins. It would have made more sense for Rollins to grab the win. Even now, WWE have no booking clue. 

It was boring.

Cass Vs Enzo Amore

Intent on calling devoid mannequin of no personality, Cass, 'Big' Cass was as laughable as the ragdoll slaughter of Enzo Amore. Vince McMahon enjoys seeing Enzo ragdolled and I can't blame him. Enzo is a pathetic let down but Cass has no depth either.

It was a short five minute blunder which exuded botches, lacklustre action and random fluff ending in Cass gaining the victory over Enzo Amore. The pure definition of filler. It was only there to fill a hole, and a big hole for WWE it was.

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
Iron Man, 30 Minutes
Cesaro and Sheamus (c) Vs The Hardy Boyz

Same old Hardyz routine.
It's 2020, almost, not 1990.
As predicted, this Ironman tag match running for thirty minutes (how can that even work?) was a rushed and sad encounter that Cesaro could not save. Cesaro again made the match bearable but with weak and useless nostalgia pops from the outdated Hardyz and Sheamus being a nonentity of no popularity, this was a bust.

Rushed, sloppy, all over the place. It was a mess. It needed at least one hour for tag teaming. Whoever thought this idea up needs sacking. How no-one could even consider a thirty minute tag scrap of this nature would fail is very telling about WWE's grand failings at modern production values.

Cesaro and Sheamus won 4 falls to 3, with the third being a cheap repeat countout joke.

An attempt to get cheap heat from fans and cheers was wasted yet again and ever so sloppy, it again looked laughable from WWE once more. This is the best they can provide? lol.

WWE Raw Women's Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) Vs Sasha Banks

Steroid abusing junkie Sasha Banks (who still hasn't sat out for thirty days since her drug bust almost one year ago) was granted a title match with champ Alexa Bliss. Play dirty and you can win, girls. Inject those needles and be a female superstar like Sash. Great family entertainment from WWE.

Alexa Bliss made short work of Sasha, who has no actual star quality and has fast become a washout plus one like Bayley before her. There is no point to Banks other than being related to WWE favourite celebrity Snoop Dogg, which is why she was hired. How lame can it get?

Botches galore and tame action from Bliss, who is the best of a bad bunch, need real competition. Raw's roster has none (except Emma) and Sasha was the 'indy darling favourite' default fall guy to host some match. How sad once more for WWE.

Like last month's Raw PPV, WWE offered Sasha Banks a measly countout victory. Another laughable repeat of no value. The action was so boring and useless. It was a turnoff. Sasha Banks won by countout.

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz w/ Maryse, Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas (c) Vs Dean Ambrose

The Miz has added two bookends to his crew with the wife, Maryse. WWE, still clueless to book good ideas, threw Bo Dallas back with missing talented beefcake Curtis Axel. Returning and looking ever so dapper, Axel is the only star of the group that WWE are hoping might bring some notable reputation to The Miz's random encounters.

From Smackdown to Raw.
Same old repeats.
Ever the afterthought.
His opponent was the equally mundane Dean Ambrose. Enough has been said on Ambrose's typecast failings and empty shell. He's just there, and it's boring.

The Miz, of course, is no better.

The IC title remains cursed and has no role than hopeful lineage to a stipulated scrap.

The ever suave and sophisticated hunk,
Curtis Axel.
Tepid, weak, tender moments from a stalling Miz and rushed hardcore tones from Dean Ambrose with natural outside mishaps from plus one's were the typical WWE booking lunacy that took away from the fun. 

Another pointless endeavour that saw The Miz retain another worthless victory.

Ambulance Match
Roman Reigns Vs Braun Strowman

An EXACT repeat match from Raw 2-3 months back before Brown Strowman got injured, saw Roman Reigns escape the Ambulance tipped over and embarrassed WWE's production of Braun tipping it over with a crane on the other side was another wasteful joke.

WWE think this added something meaningful to the proceedings.

It was the same old routine of sloppy interactions and slowed, bulky carrying with the pair unable to figure out what to do to entertain a live audience. The chemistry between the two was also devoid and non-existent.

WWE's logic after each of them gained the advantage over the other, as always the same routine, was another lame pandering to the audience of 'Brown' non-entity, Braun Strowman defeat Roma Reigns by bundling him into the Ambulance. Braun won. However, Roman Reigns, in true WWE lunacy, escaped the vehicle and stuffed Strowman into it instead. Standing tall over Strowman, the winner, who now looked invariably weak, rammed the Ambulance into surfaces to destroy Strowman. 

Good old Jaime Noble returned to try and force the door open with a crowbar to save Strowman. 

LOL-Man Reigns
So Reigns lost, because fans hate Vince's John Cena Mark II, but rose above as the strongest act as if he has won, also acting in a dishonourable fashion as an honourable fellow. Eh? WWE logic at its finest once again. So entertaining for its dumb fans they want to take money from but abuse in entertaining values.

Heath Slater Vs Curt Hawkins

A random toilet match if ever there was one. It was boring, wasteful and filler, as both know. They did what they could, as Heath Slater won the battle of the ginger jobbers in just two minutes.

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman Vs Samoa Joe

Further hilarity closed the show. Triple H's new fat friend in Sh*tmoa Joe against the mighty Brock Lesnar to add some, err, depth, was a beautiful squash match. Makes you wonder why WWE feed nonsense stars of ignorance endorsed by Triple H's business brain farts to Lesnar when they are all pummelled in short succession.

The match lasted a momentous six minutes, in efforts to give the ever hapless nobody as Triple H's NXT poodle of a long line some chance to be strong. Joe has done nothing in WWE since arriving on main roster call ups and has been entirely nondescript. What WWE are seeing is somewhat missing from the realms of reality. It really is the airhead era.

Quick reversals, a couple of power moves and a destruction of the random jobber to feed to Lesnar was Samoa Joe. Brock Lesnar easily won and has no competition. WWE are warming the title for Roman Reigns next month at Summerslam, after waiting for the Wrestlemania matchup is taking too long. Yeah, because and absent champion, one who is hated by viewers and random jobbers to fill the void will really boost WWE's product. 

Infeasible start of lunacy feud
with no grasping connectivity.
Do they even see what is wrong with the shows? Of course not, they live in their own bubble of hate and ignorance. The ratings continue to crash through the floor rapidly, even if they bribe companies for higher view counts. 

PPV Rating - 1/10

Men/Women of their matches - Seth Rollins, Cass, Cesaro, Alexa Bliss, Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Heath Slater, Brock Lesnar

Man/Woman of the PPV - Brock Lesnar

Quality entertainment continues to be something WWE do not wish to deliver. Coining it in and making a standard approach of blasé run through dress rehearsals don't deliver anymore. Over the last three years WWE has been in trouble and failed to listen, and since wrestling genius that they so despise for giving them everything and at the height of programming, Max Waltham, WWE has nosedived in every possible outcome. When they will choose to wake up without bitterness remains to be seen. Until then, the shows and WWE's future is as bleak as it comes. Fans know it and arn't staying around. It is in decline and is likely to never recover from such a downward spiral. All of wrestling is sinking and it is not a profitable option if this writer is not involved. That's just a fact.

He who laughs last...
It isn't Vince laughing this time.
Before this PPV, also, WWE suffered a massive data leak on its website. All information of users, paying customers to the WWE Network and other WWE services were hacked. WWE issued a statement to its Universe stating personal data and financial details were protected. Though, whn WWE openly lie about their ratings numbers, social media scores, use bribes, cover wellness policy drug abuses, sex and regular scandals and make up fake numbers of attendances in storylines and hope to believe them in reality doesn't fill the air with much confidence, does it?

WWE openly lie about details. They only way to protect your data is to pull out of the ever flawed WWE Network, which has no good shows, PPV and random trash to fill space.

This PPV was officially the return of The Great American Bash meets Judgment Day and Bad Blood. Another rip off, badly named, shoehorned PPV to fill space in the overdone WWE PPV calendar which claims too much unnecessary time with lacking product.

Wrestling is further more sinking and WWE are entering TNA/Impact/Independent ignorance deflation era's. This is officially the airhead era.  No good stories, writers, ignorant bookers from Indy darling hires who want to feel special, nepotism running rife and useless production values. It really is a no brainer. Though WWE are the only ones who fail to see the cold hard truth, and they are not prepared to do what is absolutely necessary, which is vital to its future survival through its own, ignorant ego. 

That's their problem though, isn't it?

You're Welcome.

© Max Waltham 12th July 2017
All Rights Reserved