Wrestling Wonders' 2017 Year-end Awards [recovered]

©️ Max Waltham 03rd December 2019

All Rights Reserved

WWE Battleground 2017

WWE Battleground 2017

After months of WWE's bungled PPV's all being nothing but trash insertion filler would Sunday July 23rd's Battleground, live from the Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia fare any better before the mega Summerslam extravaganza?

Let's find out.

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship

The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) w/ Big E Vs The Uso's (c)

It was a predictable starting match where WWE's booking of The Uso's (at its most disastrously, with racial profiling to boot) had the hoodlums against the newly switched Smackdown tag team of The ever stale New Day.

This time was different though. They decided to let third wheel and WWE hoeski Paige lover Xavier Woods play this time. Male sex scandals are often rewarded highly in WWE.

Paige, Woods and Brad Maddox engage in threesome
scandal WWE chose to dismiss.
(Paige has since been involved in a domestic abuse
attack on new lover Alberto Del Rio.)

After numerous back and forth of standard tag match filler, with the character types of New Day always seen beforehand, and The Uso's desperate attempts to shine among being used as fodder failed them. 

Talented but booked horrendously, The Uso's predictably lost their titles to the New Day's Kofi and Woods. WWE will most likely ruin the titles once more with the three team can defend a two team title. Are ratings down? WWE doesn't even takes its own rules seriously any longer.

It was boring and standard warm up section to cover WWE's favourites who have lost all depth for over a year and a half. WWE need to split Woods and return to NXT.

Shinsuke Nakamura Vs Baron Corbin

The new chosen one, still filling into jobber slots, namely Baron Corbin, was playing flyswatter with some random acrobat. Cruiserweight trying to be main eventer and untranslatable goon in Shinsuker Fu*kamoron was another useless nothing match which ended in another weak disqualification end for Shinsuke Nakamura.

World Class.

We've seen these repeats every PPV from WWE, which prove how outdated and loosely lost WWE are with its programming for the modern age. No one cared again. Why should they? Both are dreadful performers who are way too green and eagerly redundant.

Fatal 5 Way

Elimination

Charlotte Flair Vs Tamina Vs Lana Vs Becky Lynch Vs Natalya

The winner of this one will get a number one contendership to the Smackdown Women's title next month at Summerslam. Ugh. Another contenders match? How original.

Looking like the favourite from the start either Charlotte or Lana where the favourites with many on the assumption of WWE booking as it has done so predictably for the last three years. It was another mess of WWE/rushed divas as women branding awkwardness.

Charlotte, who also caused a sex scandal two months
ago, like Paige, blames others whilse causing
PG image of WWE to prove its perversive nature.Woooooooooooooooooo!

Always WWE know how to ruin potential female successiveness and then claim they have re-established the Women's Revolution tag that Max Waltham created. They simply have no idea what they are doing and fans and critics have finally realised, they aint me.

First out was predictable as Becky Lynch submitted Tamina with a very sloppy Dis-Arm-Her. She then immediately removed Lana with the same submission seconds later, which made a useless waste of two potential growers for WWE's Smackdown females in short supply, for Becky Lynch, a random floater of zero value.

Natalya came in after and rolled over Becky Lynch with the tights grab roll up to pin her out of the battle.

Once again it was another replay of Nattie and Char-lie. Blergh! 

Nothing new and Charlotte Flair was carried the entire bout by veteran Natalya, often despised by WWE in favour of Charlotte 'my daddy's surname love-in' flair, which doesn't fully connect with actual fans how she should.

No thanks.

After a shocking transitions of good bad, Natalya-Charlotte barbs, Charlotte Flair was rolled up randomly by Natalya, with another tights grab, to win the match and be named the new surprise contender to current Smackdown champ Naomi next month.

After the match Naomi offered the winner a sporting handshake, which was refused. Great match building and victory roll. Meh!

WWE United States Championship

Kevin Owens Vs AJ Styles (c)

AJ Styles randomly won the strap a week or so back on a house show, non televised. Lol. Tonight Owens was given another hand me down opportunity of protection from Triple H's overly-green-fandom club of pals instead of talent. For the last three years Owens has managed to drop something. The ratings. WWE wish to be defiant with ignorant fellows. The results are telling. WWE feel they can do whatever they want and win. Good luck with that. You've already lost.

Even the armpits speak volumes.

To further alienate and destroy the linage of the United states Championship, an acrobat against an overly fat, and disgusting pig by fan standards just because Triple H feels sorry for him, was another joke of a run for WWE's freebie title handovers. Gone is the talent and in is the Indy darlings of high ignorance that have ended WWE's successive transitions of being 'down with the fans' for their own BS.

Styles the acrobat did his three bouncy moves throughout as Owens traditionally got out of breath early, rolled around on the floor and yelled again and again. Spin us a new yarn.

Furthermore WWE was hit by another sex scandal as Kevin Owens had his naked pictures released online, which he instantly denied. The photos were instantly removed offline. If they are real then they can only be removed if they are of you. Therefore that means the photos are authentic and those photos were of Owens. Another perverted, useless hack in WWE. Triple H has laced the company well for a future of failure, on his mark fandom favourites.

Once again the talented Kevin Owens messed up the ending as he was not supposed to win and pinned AJ Styles to win the title in a bungled botch that was done too quickly that Styles wasn't aware to kick out. That also shows just how crap Styles is too as being untrained in depth outside of a technical wrestler than an Action Man figurine in real life. The pair were doomed from the start of this pitiful series that WWE knew would be bad but convince themselves it can work, just because they have no other stars to put together. the Indy luv-in is over.

On the following Smackdown episode, Chris Jericho predictably returned and cost Kevin Owens the title, back to AJ Styles, which once more makes a complete turd fest of the US title. Again it is officially worthless, yet WWE felt these two were rebuilding it up. WWE booking at its finest hilarity. Blinded by their own lunacy.

The action was entirely sloppy, laboured and breathtakingly numbing boredom.

Flag

John Cena Vs Rusev

SuperCena, the WWE cartoon.

A repeat battle from the two returning stars thrown together once more through lack of stars, WWE's Smackdown side put the pair in a battle of Flag waving again.

Cena did his regular routine run through with an Attitude Adjustment on Rusev, who countered with a jumping mule kick with sheer talent and style. Rusev has continued to improve his game and is one of WWE's loved, now hated, yet overly talented stars that is treated will male-nourishment by the booking goons with no in-depth talent or skills today of what works.

Cena, the free agent (?) who is exclusive to the Smackdown brand from Wrestlemania's post Superstar Shakeup failure, reclaimed his SuperCena animation. The cartoon resurgence of Cena managed to AA slam the Bulgarian Brute into two tables to crush him down.

Cena, who has never lost a clean one on one match for decades, and continues his overly animated approach as a cartoon, comically raised the US flag, which was all so destroyed in the previous battle over the actual title. Fans could not care less about another empty John Cena win 'representing' Americans who can't stand his lacking repertoire over a growing concept to achieve.

Sami Zayn Vs Mike Kanellis w/ Maria Kanellis

Former TNA miracle Mike Kanellis, nee Bennett, battled with Sami Zayn. So the Kanellis's are nasty now from last month's soppy, loved up lovefest? This was another confusion to fans on WWE's lacking direction.

Saddled into the filler match early on, Mike 'no personality or depth' Kanellis, who may be a decent guy, but has no character, surprisingly lost to random jobber Sami Zayn. Hilarious.

Mmm, dat tongue, doe.

Kanellis is now seen by many fans as a constantly failure in Impact Wrestling, Ring of (no) Honor and Independent promotions.

Well done WWE.

No one cared about toilet break personified.

WWE Championship

Jinder Mahal (c) Vs Randy Orton

Resident steroid abusing champion of WWE, Jinder Mahal, endorsed by WWE for an Indian expansion overseas branding, which shames Indians than raises them, was still trying to hold a credible jobber to champion rising.

Vince McMahon has always been desperate to use the Punjabi Prison structure, which he has had locked up in storage for the last twenty years, rotting away. The embarrassment that cost more than just money in a lock up, features bamboo walls and a trap door cat flap. Lol.

Outnumbered by lunacy.

This was the third ever one. Vince, babe, you should have set it on fire.

This boring battle was a waste of time and once more held up by the extraordinary talents of Randy Orton trying to make Jinder Mahal have some type of credible relevance which can never be achieved.

Mmmmm

WWE reward steroid abusing junkies and expect to keep a family friendly company, with older adults engaged to over veined, bulked up abusers who have zero talent and placement over actual stars.

It would not be a surprise to any that the glorious champion of chance had his regular boyfriends arrive. The pint sized Singh Brothers came to help interfere for Jinder once again. Hasn't this already been done, like every match?

So original was the battle, that after Randy Orton took care of those silly Singh's, a towering former World Champion of India, accustomed to the Punjabi Prison, came leering down the ramp.

Sexy Jinder's Before and Afters

Mmmm, those veins. *vom*

This isn't Jinder.

The Great Khali (wow) marched to the ring and climbed the Prison. This itself was an inconceivable laugh than serious interaction. Entering the Bamboo walls, Khali choked out Randy Orton as Jinder Mahal was able to escape the Bamboo cage and retain the worthless WWE Championship once again in another lunacy booking of assistance and failure.

Constrast.

PPV Rating - 1/10

Men/Women of their matches - Kofi Kingston, Baron Corbin, Natalya, Neither were good enough, Rusev, Mike Kanellis, Randy Orton

Man/Woman of the PPV - The Great Khali

Once more WWE's Battleground PPV was another sad washout, worse than ever before.

We explained how WWE and wrestling is in serious decline in 2017 and beyond and WWE continue to prove it. WWE has failed to be me, snub me and can't emulate me. With its failed actions, idea and Indy bookers backstage giving freebies to their pals with a tedious 'writing' team of nepotism and marks, alongside the biggest ignorance hirer of WWE's failed future, Triple H, WWE is failing terribly.

The Airhead Era.

WWE will always make it seem like they are fine, but in true honesty, the company is the pits and sinking fast. All down to Triple H's madly hateful ego and Vince McMahon having to appease his daughter's delicate plus one.

Though... that's their problem isn't it?

While he praises Triple H publicly to keep peace, Vince is clearly trying to finally regain some steed from his failed years with the HHH Indy-Ignorance call ups. The damage has already been done and Vince thoroughly endorsed it at the highest of peaks.

The ratings have plummeted and WWE, who continue to bribe ratings companies, beg advertisers with no affiliation to the business and top up its own stock to seem credible, cannot fool anyone except WWE themselves.

Errrr...

The show is useless, boring, wasteful and worthless viewing with titles and stipulations. Even the hype of an 'attraction' has been lost. What reason is there to watch and waste people's lives on WWE, which will never materialise in a modern age at this rate of failure.

Vince McMahon hates being labelled in the same word as failure, but there he is. All thanks to his wayward bookers, writers, and hiring lunatic marks hating on the one shining glory WWE and Vince copied, snubbed and above all else, is the one person WWE just can't get.

Oh the hilarity.

This PPV like all before it this year, bar one, is another pitiful 1/10. That is a serious issue for WWE not to dismissed and mull over with a serious drawing board than media appearances or tabloid begging for a random bit of 'buzz' which is just another laughable fail of epic proportions.

You're Welcome.

© Max Waltham 28th July 2017

All Rights Reserved

WWE Wrestlemania 33

WWE Wrestlemania 33

WWE entered its thirty-third Wrestlemania, an unfathomable event in the pro wrestling calendar, recently marred in the last decade with rotten performances, performers and nonsense matches that failed to live up to such enthusiasm. Could or would this year's instalment, with an even denser card and relying on good ol' Triple H once again to raise or taint the event that has been dwindling for so long?

Live on Pay Per View, on Sunday April 2nd, 2017 from the Camping World Stadium in Orlando, Florida, WWE, with its television studios themed set, with some rollercoaster themes was once again the mesmeric success of Kevin Dunn's set building eye. Whatever said of Dunn, he always knows how to make Wrestlemania's set epic with its theme.

Let's find out...

Tonight's event is now being hosted every year as a lame theme with, who else, but the lamest WWE clowns on record, The New Day. Fresh from the Paige scandal which saw the dirty diva sleep around in WWE including with Xavier Woods, while at live WWE events, put in his usual act of childish toilet humour.

This was not a way to encourage a crowd, paying lots of money the world over for the experience, to be greeted with PG rated party poppers, streamers and nonsensical lunacy that wasted more time and will continue through the night.

It opened with "multi recording artist" Tinase. Who? WWE used her singing America the Beautiful in hopes to smooth over the audience with nationalism and avoid the pitiful that the microphone was too echo-ey and Tinase was absolutely terrible at 'singing' such a simple song lyric wise. Many notes were fluffed and made WWE look entirely stupid.

WWE immediately plugged her new single straight afterward. Classic!

Shane McMahon Vs AJ Styles

So the event finally got underway. Shane and AJ would officiate the ceremony as the warm up act. A rapid come down from last year for Shane-O's monumental return to WWE with a grippingly entertaining match against Wrestlemania's pioneering kingpin, The Undertaker.

Gimmicks, high risk aerial antics and using Shane McMahon to make AJ Styles seem popular is not going to succeed. WWE aim to move Styles to the Raw roster as a top star in the coming draft for Roman Reigns. Yeah, 'cos as WWE champion and top star, he has really done enough to prove himself as a leader of WWE dropping ratings from the 'Independent call up crew' in WWE. It was a washout, default mechanism that failed to have any buzz, charisma and depth.

Styles' repertoire was the same age old five moves of jumping about on ropes and flimsy counters on the ground whilst Shane-O had his work cut out for him.

Working a one man, twenty minute, job over to Action Man, AJ Styles, Shane McMahon fell so cheaply to a three fall that made him look like a chump and highlight Styles as a weak victor that will never materialise with such an important win. 

The fact fans cheer for AJ in their blindness to cheerlead proves the success of Shane McMahon working a TNA fodder, Indy circuit acrobat to a believable standard, even if it is hardcore fan failures to budge from the harsh truth of Styles' lacking, err, style.

United States Championship

Chris Jericho (c) Vs Kevin Owens

Chris Jericho defended the United States Championship against ignorant fuelled, Triple H freedom floater, Kevin Owens. Yet to wrestle any match whatsoever, Big Kev decided tonight's grand spectacle would be no exception. Clumsy, laboured and shouty gimmicks with layabout idle spots and walking into moves to see powerful, one cheap move counters was once more Kev's forte.

Owens, unlike Jericho, who while ignorant himself but not to the levels of Owens, did try to salvage the lumbering mess that was Kev's, err, 'performance' at WWE's greatest event draining all credibility from recent years of failed materialisation. Kevin Owens 'won' another idle, freebie title from his friend Triple H again. Will the ratings drop again after this failed experiment of ignorance cost WWE dearly? Drop. Ratings. Drop. Triple H knows what works, right?

The US title is officially worthless. Makes you wonder why they brought it back, huh? Plus WWE were so short stacked on 'talent' it had two Canadians 'fighting' over what has become just another hand me down, time hogging title with no prestige or honour whatsoever, sullied by its 'champion' holders.

This should have been bumped to the pre-show, as it was also just so horrible to watch, which exposed WWE as lacking entertainment and pathetic drawability.

WWE Raw Women's Championship

Fatal 4 Way, Elimination

Bayley (c) Vs Charlotte Flair Vs Nia Jax Vs Sasha Banks

Bayley, the only diva on the Raw roster who is just there and coasts along by default, randomly getting the title two months back so Charlotte could lose after WWE mimicked her daddy's title defence on Pay Per View records, was up next. 

Also chaperoning this match is Nia 'ever so green' Jax and Sasha 'injury prone, steroid taking, non punished' Banks. How exciting. All four 'ladies' have lost momentum, buzz and detail thanks to WWE's insane protection racket for Charlotte to seem like the top diva who still has failed to put on a decent match since her debut. She believes her own hype and all that her family and WWE tell her. So forth are the weak results.

Nia Jax, to her credit, looked amazing and tried really hard, but WWE failed to boost her pre-'Mania and left her isolated as an afterthought hence forth.

Back to Bayley, who we instantly forgot about once again. She battled valiantly as Nia Jax took down all three gals, realising she was a potential threat by her domination. The crowd weren't believing it and knew she was fodder. Despite her brief interaction to prove WWE have another female than two or three on its Raw roster, Nia Jax was easily eliminated, by everyone on top. Luckily it was changed at the eleventh hour of WWE's failure to book, as a paltry elimination instead. It would have been better served as a full on four-way.

Nxt to go was predictable Sasha, why even bother anymore, Banks. She is officially worthless. Charlotte sent her out as Bayl's was scared too animatedly at snarling Charl. It was not a good interaction from either.

Eventually Charlotte was favoured throughout until Ms Flair shadow stepper misplaced a Moonsault attempt as Bayley simply countered, knocking her down from the top post and following with a lame elbow drop which inevitably sealed Charlotte Flair's fate. After building her up so big, where no other diva could live up to, the audience WWE want to believe their shtick is meant to assume Charlotte the almighty can easily be dropped by a random elbow drop? After all her favoured runs, this exposed everything of the sham this 'Diva's Revolution' was supposedly built on.

WWE Tag Team Championship

Triple Threat, Ladder

Cesaro and Sheamus Vs Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) Vs Enzo and Cass

A late gimmick addition to make this match seem worthwhile, with ladders, a clown and a charismatically dishevelled mannequin and two randoms as champions who haven't actually done anything in WWE at all. Cesaro is once again the man of the hour, but WWE's constant levels of contempt and misrepresented faith, alongside the ungrowable mess that is third wheel Sheamus does not scream entertainment personified.

The match was an obvious mess of botches, theatrics and light taps on ladder bounces that made no sense and was only employed to serve as a distraction come warm up act with a few "ooh" "ahh" thrills and spills. It was not as thrilling as it should have been with a one man of hot muscle attempting to carry the event on skill and hotness. WWE still fail to see the money makers.

The New Day, hosting 'Mania throughout the night, popped up to award WWE with another failed mishap of card booking with a late addition to turn this into an unadvertised 'til last minute 4-way, which conned fans of their experience hoping one of the other three teams might be victorious. WWE didn't think any were bankable tag title holders, alongside a wide spread rumour of likelihood that was quite sad for WWE's admittedly failed tag division.

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

Fatal 4 Way, Ladder

Cesaro and Sheamus Vs Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) Vs Enzo and Cass Vs The Hardy Boyz

Returning were old hat 'performers' Matt and Jeff, The Hardy Boyz. More like the hard-up Boyz. WWE's revolving door is somewhat laughable. Fans lapped up their cookie crumbs given in hopes the tag division wouldn't suck as badly as it has done. WWE's admission was a little too late and only came about with this addition a month ago on a chance opportunity to snap up a quick name duo living out the past again.

WWE still haven't been able to move into the future. One out, one in.

Cesaro and Sheamus were the stars of the match from the beginning of their stripper gimmick and Cesaro's tight, sheen trunks and palpable techniques to carry everyone else.

As expected The Hardy Boyz put in a laboured, routine of the last decade, in same old clothes, to try and live out their lost youth in failed years, alongside equally failed ratings divers WWE, proving its new talent drives by Triple H have been a constant disaster for the product.

Re-hiring bit part add-ons, however, will not bolster WWE's ailing defences.

It was boring and cheap. Though Smackdown's Tag Titles didn't even get a look in. Hah!

Tag Team, Intergender

John Cena and Nikki Bella Vs The Miz and Maryse

Word on the street is that John Cena is going to propose to Nikki Bella tonight for real. Not exactly Macho/Elizabeth is it? Another cheap method of a feel good moment and to gain a headline, yet all for the wrong reasons. Marriage should be celebrated, not applauded with hatred.

Any insider new this to be true, but WWE kept it quiet 'til the end.

The match itself was just a quick run through of whatever. John Cena and Nikki Bella won. 

Afterwards John Cena took the mic and cocked his knee to whip out his diamond ring and offer it to Nikki Bella, who chose to accept. Why wouldn't you? She'll never have to work again. 

Ahhh, that was a sweet headline that WWE used for media attention, wasn't it? 

Congrats to Nikki and John, as we do mean it, but it was once again quite cheap of WWE to use it for attention. It was not any level Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth vibes as WWE had hoped for.

Will they have a WWE wedding?

Non-Sanctioned

Triple H Vs Seth Rollins

Triple H needed his ego to stand out and lordy did he instigate that one.

Billing as anything goes and throwing in some furniture this was more a comedy of errors than wrestling genius.

Many expected the Shovel King to traditionally bury Seth Rollins for his own ego boost. To begin, Trips sat on a motorcycle at the top of the ramp, alongside Police bikes (Eh?) with his wife, Stephanie McMahon riding pillion. They took ages to start the engine and Triple H's small man syndrome was in full view with bikes, lights and ignorant snarl.

Call the 1980's luv. Move forward a few decades, yeah?

Once in the ring, Triple H performed his same outdated routine of back and forth boredom. Seth Rollins carried him, and even feigned injury with his recent mishap months past. Triple H once more used that weakness to try and win over the match. Same old, same old. 

During this mundane run through of mediocre boredom, unappealing close ups of Triple H's inner thighs, pasty fake tan, and pelvic bones simply repugnant, Trips felt he was once more the man of the hour, comfortable in his own ego.

Flanked by his cheerleading wife at ringside, Triple H's de-masculated manhood felt in place. Ahh, diddums.

Failing to put his ego aside and put a young talent over, instead using them to stay relevant, and failing the WWE booking office, now jumping back into a quick fix wrestle thing again, Trips predictably jobbed Rollins to the naked eye.

Looking like he put Rollins over and constantly undermining him in places and cheapening the action for his self approval, and the use of Seth Rollins' only move in Triple H's Pedigree, countered by many more Pedigree's (how novel) this was a perfect addition for narcissist Tripper.

Booker T's infamous 21 second job out at Wrestlemania, Randy Orton's drop from grace as champion one month after, Jeff Hardy's Armageddon job off as struggling WWE title owner or Edge being a bigger and better star than Triple H's title runs hoping to derail him from the back come to mind.

Predictably after all that rabble, Trips got his trusty sidekick to help him. No, not his wife he hides behind, but his ever trusty, plastic Sledgehammer. Try something new luv. It's quite embarrassing to live in the past forever.

The same ending of previous years was visible. Tripper used his wife, Stephanie to get involved, who met a sticky end as Seth Rollins ducked and Trips smashed her into the table stacked outside as Trips dodged so his wife could cover him again. Trips tried to do the angry basset hound face and instead of caring for his decimated wife, decided to attack Seth Rollins, who countered the Game and defeated him for a three fall which meant nothing and was once more all about Triple H. 

Got Wood.

Triple H goes down in Wrestlemania history as having yet another prized turkey match in recent years, just as much as Wrestlemania's failure as an event to be entertaining any more.

As an outdated performer who cannot manage or hire his staff correctly out of ignorance and hiding behind the McMahon's Triple H, his ego and the product direction has proven to be an outdated mechanism that drives people away instead of flocking to the fold.

The Big Red Blushie!

If Triple H could finally put his ego aside and hire what will succeed him and the product which has proven most loyal and in charge, he might just have a glowing reputation with allies than enemies he creates for himself.

Here's a fun photo of Kane putting some make up on dirty bird and sweetie pie Tommy Phillips. Its a rock and a hard place. 

Will Triple H blame John Cena going before him as the reason why his match was simply rubbish?

WWE had even planned to have Samoa Joe interfere, which was scrapped at the eleventh hour. Triple H loves his ego more, when it comes down to the big one. It still wouldn't have helped either way.

Next!

Intermission

Now we get some cheap concert bathroom break with Pitbull and some other random dudes no-one has heard of. Clad in checker, black and white outfits, exposing their legs, all the way up to their coochies, was another embarrassing level of depravity from WWE classed as entertainment, fresh with a dash of pure sexism. Some Diva's Revolution. In light of Paige's hoeism, sex culture in WWE is running rampant and perverting WWE's reputation rapidly with investors. WWE decided to take no action on Paige and continues its nature that cripples its PG friendly, kiddie atmosphere or general respect.

WWE Championship

Bray Wyatt (c) Vs Randy Orton

The failed concept in a Max Waltham clone with WWE's stance of game playing, abuse and mismanagement to show off has once more stuck Bray Wyatt in a cheap and pitiful position of non-entity that will never rise in any occasion after WWE's botch jobs on his character. Simply put. He is not Max Waltham. It is futile to try and be. 

His opponent was former Family member for a short time to build a quick feud (Daniel Bryan anyone?) with Royal Rumble victory Randy Orton.

The incomparable Randall said he would not challenge Bray in weeks leading to 'Mania, but many knew this was a cheap ruse by WWE which failed to make the show more appealing as it could have been with a match of the ages tonight.

Despite Orton's outstanding efforts, and Bray's attempts to live up to WWE's distorted version of this writer, the match was another squandered opportunity in favour of other daft interactions on the card.

Quality, not quantity, Vin.

Despite being somewhat downplayed for everything else and still an afterthought on the card, even though two very profitable stars are going at it for WWE to elaborate on, Randy Orton proved to be the modern marvel in WWE that it can truly bank on. 

Talented, charismatic, hot, classy, professional and working others, in this case Bray Wyatt, to yet another championship match of worthy value and entertaining properties, Orton is WWE's most undervalued veteran.

Bray Wyatt often attempted his mind games with weird canvas image flashes underneath Orton of maggots, bugs and creepy critters to try and keep afloat as a man of mystery. It was different, but looked quite daft in how it was put together, which makes Bray another laughing stick than respectable worker with audiences lacking direction.

Bray Wyatt went for a kiss on Randy Orton's forehead (who wouldn't?) as he took too long and Randy Orton slammed the RKO 'outta nowhere' to pummel Bray Wyatt and lift his ninth WWE Championship victory at an event Orton often jobs for everyone else, Wrestlemania. 

Dependable and championship value, Randy Orton has earned another wonderful birthday gift, which will benefit WWE audiences somewhat onwards. It was the best match on the card, which will be overshadowed later by more necessary happenings.

WWE Universal Championship

Goldberg (c) Vs Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman

This one is set to last a handful of minutes. With two record wins in short time and leaving after Wrestlemania due to feeling "absolutely miserable" in his current WWE run, Goldberg defends against Brock Lesnar. 

Time travelling to their previous 'Mania match years ago, which was a bungled letdown when Goldberg left due to contract expiration and being upset. His partner, Brock Lesnar, decided to leave WWE, which would rock the entire company as its biggest, newest and most popular star a decade ago. 

WWE naturally treated the match with scorn. Would tonight be any different, all over some blood red title with zero credibility?

Initially set to go last on the card, with negative responses from fans (and Goldberg) at the direction of brief matches less than five minutes long closing 'Mania were not best welcomed. Hence WWE needed to re-structure its card placement. It was probably not helped by Goldberg's recent comments that this was a miserable run for him which failed to stimulate him or WWE's thought process.

With a double loss to Goldie already at major events over the past six months, Brock Lesnar lifted the most useless prize in WWE's trophy case, that blood red title that won't get over at all, especially after Kevin Owens destroyed it, with a chance F5 on Goldberg.

Quick counters phoned it in for WWE on almost every match. This was also a repeat match. No-one really cared, and its main performers were also unimpressed with its lack of structure from WWE. When will it learn to get some actual talent writing, advising or on the payroll that will benefit WWE long-term? 

WWE Smackdown Women's Championship

Alexa Bliss (c) Vs Natalya Vs Becky Lynch Vs Mickie James Vs Naomi Vs Carmella w/ James Ellsworth

Sigh. Chuck all the gals out there and hope for the best. If this is WWE's strongest female roster, with a couple of add ons, what does it truly say of the rostered bit parts and the ones as a whole?

Smackdown's females, bar its bed hopping hoe Mickie James and the stained borderline ignorance of failure to launch Becky Lynch is another anticlimactic letdown for WWE's grand events.

Perfect double act. Pure gold. 

The only highlight was the aptly comedic, yet once more, highly workable angle with James Ellsworth and Carmella as a clumsy pair that are televisual gold. WWE got cold feet once again with Ellsworth, who should have and could have been the hottest WWE champion for some time, to really encourage fans back to the show. WWE declined, because it couldn't be bothered. Once more, WWE's rosters are a messy waste.

Thoughts of Kelly Kelly or Eve Torres, highly rumoured to return and involve themselves as late signees to the Smackdown roster (lol) were thankfully shelved. No-one needs that wasteful crap anymore on screen.

It was an obvious match outcome but the run through was yet another thought process of WWE not giving a care about it. With a number of female stars that outshine Raw, WWE had little faith for this match and rushed it in the typical bathroom break spot. It was another clumsy, forced and daft run through rehearsal were everyone did their bit and no-one truly stood out in such a short space of time.

Paige and Brad Maddix as many are calling him.
Madam continues to play victim card,
blaming men for her sexcapades.

Resident ignorant hoe Micke James sat on  her opponents to get a failed pinfall which further embarrasses WWE's sex culture in recent months. They even gave Tom Phillips the lead announce job, who last month tried to "face f**k the sh*t out of" a female. Phillips is married.

Then there is dirty diva Paige, who has truly ruined herself and WWE's reputation with such slutty antics and playing a victim card to blame everyone but herself, including having sex with Xavier Woods at WWE live events as they were ongoing, in the lockeroom. She also allowed Brad Maddox to ejaculate over he face onto the WWE NXT Women's championship, which this week was revamped with a new title. That won't change anything.

Naomi, in her hometown, won the title back, after last months' recent injury vacation of title win, from Alexa Bliss, in a jobber style five minutes. Of all the matches on this supercard, WWE could not find longer than five minutes for it.

WWE had intended to place this onto the Pre-Show, but with negative uproar from fans, slipped it into the card, thus removing the Intercontinental Championship to the kick off. So that's two titles WWE ruined by failed structure and another with US hand me downs? Well done.

Before the very end match, WWE had the New Day provide the annual lie that is the attendance record of Wrestlemania. Every year it dramatically escalates beyond belief in Vince McMahon's warped world of lunacy.

The arena, which has roughly a 65-67,000 capacity, boasted of a new record in 75,245. For years WWE have been fiddling their numbers in ratings with Nielsen Media and making up 'Mania records. They think it is funny, but in hindsight, alienates more fans with dumb lies.

Vince McMahon explained it in a conference call perpetuated as 'for entertainment purposes'. Firstly, it is not entertaining. Second, it devalues WWE. Thirdly, it proves that McMahon lives in his own fantasy world where he actually believes this number will be believed by fans and is prepared to hold a fake number in history to seem more than what he is. This often provides WWE with more negative feedback than ever before. Even so, attendance numbers are not allowed to be faked, just as false advertising, even if it is in storyline mode. 

No Holds Barred

The Undertaker Vs Roman Reigns

How can The Undertaker recover from the hatchet job WWE did on him a few years back, rewarding him with his first ever loss to a random part-timer who never shows up and hasn't done a thing with the victory?

Many beleive The Undertaker was the only thing keeping Wrestlemania profitable, and since dropping him, that argument has proven true. The mystique of the event, let alone the performer, have been neutered. 

His opponent is WWE favourite and fan fuelled hatred Roman Reigns. Another traditionally cheap, forced together collaboration with no build, zero enthusiasm and empty stares have served Undie with yet another prized annual turkey.

It brings back memories of years of dreadful matches, with Mark Henry's bungled Casket Match disaster at the forefront. 

A quick stipulation added to build Roman Reigns up and add some legitimacy to The Undertaker's opponent wasn't too appealing to crowds. 

Despite putting Roman Reigns over tremendously, and The Undertaker's worn body struggling to rise in certain angles, left Reigns more exposed as someone who had no clue how to react or work crowds when counted upon. 

Vince McMahon used this opportunity to have Roman Reigns defeat The Undertaker with a random encounter that failed to sell or deliver Reigns as a bankable name to its WWE Universe at the cost of its greatest legend ever.

After the battle, The Undertaker, as many predicted, decided to silently and officially retire at Wrestlemania. He stripped down his gloves, trenchcoat and hat in the centre of the ring as solemn fans watched on in shock with tears.

Undertaker was warranted his final swan song departure (as he should) and left to the lower depths of Parts Unknown in the middle of the ramp, as his final crowd goodbye.

It was a sad experience that while no-one wanted to see committed professional Undertaker go out like that, but had to fall to Roman Reigns. While it may well have been Undertaker's professional nature to put over someone on his outgoing end, he should not have been defeated and there were a number of ways WWE could have sent him off. WWE are fresh out of ideas and with The Undertaker gone, it is very difficult to envisage Wrestlemania's survival in WWE's absence to make any new stars.

The Undertaker deserved more from his final match after being the committed professional that always built, steadied and kept Wrestlemania at its strongest for Vince McMahon. We would never have allowed that, no matter what. It did not get WWE or Roman Reigns anymore over and never will. In fact, he will be resented more for it.

The Undertaker is an irreplaceable legend that descriptions can never fully endorse. We hope Undertaker sticks around backstage and has involvement with WWE somewhere. Undertaker is and always will be the WWE itself. 

We applaud him for all his sterling work over many years that kept us all entertained. 

Thank You.

Pre-Show

The pre-show had more antics on it that failed to materialise. Who cares anyway?

WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Austin Aries Vs Neville (c)

Random bit part jobber Austin Aries had his debut match with a title opportunity he didn't earn, thanks to being another of Triple H's ignorantly failed muses, where he was smashed in the face by Neville, who retained another worthless trinket that needs to be melted down into scrap.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This was a strong match place years back that WWE has constantly squandered the memory of such a pioneering individual in the business with jobbers who will never make good on any victory of this random concept WWE doesn't even know what it stands for. 

This was its fourth year. 

It's only probable name to win was Mojo Rawley, as predicted by yours truly, who won the battle royal. WWE couldn't even commit it to the main show, which should have seen the US title bumped here. He had one of his NFL football friends run in to help. What a way to win. Whatever.

WWE Intercontinental Championship 

Baron Corbin Vs Dean Ambrose (c)

Two strong irrelevancies with former non-drawing WWE champion, Dean Ambrose, given the cursed hand me down known as the Intercontinental championship, goes up against a two year bum in Baron 'shouldda made it by now' Corbin. WWE are being lenient with the former Andre Battle Royal winner Corbin who has moved around WWE resembling a devoid zombie.

WWE could not be bothered with either and to protect Ambrose, in their eyes, they gave him the title, which was evaporated by The Miz hogging it with such irrelevance and failed competition to challenge for it. It hinders Ambrose, the tyepcast tanktop dude with a brainless being that just stumbles along. It's Roman Reigns version II booking all over again. Ambrose has officially hit a brick wall. Corbin on the other hand is just there and is lucky to be there. People are tired of bored, repetitive failings. 

Failed concept Dean Ambrose cheaply retained in yet another nothing match.

PPV Rating - 3/10

Men/Women of their matches - Shane McMahon, Chris Jericho, Bayley, Cesaro, Nikki Bella, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Naomi, The Undertaker

Man/Woman of the PPV - The Undertaker

The event, overshadowed by The Undertaker's solemn departure into retirement was a sad affair, but one fully respected with his deserved ending.

The Big Show was randomly entered into the Battle Royal after his desire to have a scheduled match with Shaquille O'Neal, whom he fought in the same spot over a decade ago, fell through. Talks with WWE soured after Shaq wanted a higher sum to appear than initially offered, due to his weight image which would be seen on live television. WWE declined. Fans were happy it didn't work out. WWE set this match up last year when Shaq eliminated Big Show in last year's Battle Royal random entry. 

Jim Ross returned to taint The Undertaker's last match calling it as a guest announcer. JR waddled to his seat as per usual, lapping up the fame and attention seeking the ignorant media player desires. Everytime McMahon sacks and rehires JR, he knows JR is a slimy weed that will come crawling for any price and has no self worth.

Distasteful sympathy merchant.

He even played off his recent wife's tragic car accident for more sympathy. JR, who has always tried to mimic this writer and fail miserably to stay relevant, like everyone else, fails to realise Karma often affects those closest to you as a sign for change. Ignorance is no virtue and even then, they still fail to acknowledge what has happened. You can't treat people as such and misbehave. Mother Nature will come calling. It is the natural order of things. 

For WWE Wrestlemania is just another show, with extended hours and now built ont he emphasis of an experience. Though what is left with simple failings among WWE stars who are not on the card, treated with contempt and favourites who fail the business categorically rewarded which can only further alienate WWE's product further. Yeah, WWE will use Wrestlemania to boast of income or whatever, but for WWE that is all it is, making money. Though it is actually losing money, though they wont admit it and stock and investors have been leaving as WWE's ratings will be set to plummet thereafter in the next annual year. WWE need to do some serious thinking on how to save its brand.

Money may be fine, but there is not success for failing to have the respect, values and moral integrity that defines a business, phenomenon and sporting landscape so rapidly evaporating before everyone's saddening eyes. 

You're Welcome.

© Max Waltham 03rd April 2017

All Rights Reserved