Royal Rumble 2012

Royal Rumble 2012 

On Sunday January 29th from the Scottrade Centre in St. Louis, Missiouri, WWE Royal Rumble entered it's silver anniversary of 25 consecutive years as an event. Did it deliver what it aimed to achieve? Would it create any new stars for a future and spark feuds on from here along the Road to Wrestlemania, and beyond?


Beginning the Pay Per View...

World Heavyweight Championship

Steel Cage

Daniel Bryan (c) V Big Show V Mark Henry

Starting with the obvious try to climb the cage from the start of the bell, which never helps anyone. Why would you attempt to climb when knowing you can be caught? WWE's backward booking always does this practise. It needs to change into a form of logic than stupidity. It helps no one.

After many cage scale attempts and power moves allowed from all fighters when allowed their moment of equal timing the match got wrapped up.

Show attempts a chokeslam though Bryan blocks it countering with a DDT from the top rope. Bryan then goes for a LaBell Lock after a failed 1 fall. Henry boots Bryan's head to stop the submission. Henry launches Bryan into the cage wall. Show then nails Henry with a KO punch. He is allowed when Henry isn't champion. Pathetic, right? 

Bryan would then climb to the top of the cage attempting an escape whilst Show covered Henry for 2. Show then grabbed Bryan before escaping, thwarting his chance. Danny Boy almost made it over with his legs dangling, until Show had him. Hoisted up and seated atop the steel structure, Bryan delivered punches to Show. Reversing, Show now tries to climb over. Bryan, almost having escaped, now dangled with just Big Show's arm holding Bryan, aimed for Show to lose his behemoth handed grip, and eventually Bryan fell to the floor for the win, being able to retain the championship, as Big Show would look on from atop the cage dismayed.

Divas 8 (Wo-)Man Tag Match

Tamina, Eve, Alicia Fox & Kelly Kelly V Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Brie Bella & Nikki Bella

Dream Team brimming with Cerulean passion!

Another pointless booking, though the highlight was Tamina V Natalya. See 6 feuds post here - 6 Feuds . Neidhart V Snuka gave time to one another, looked credible among the Diva dilution and sold futher towards the Women's divison. Tamina's turn was neccessary to play with the Women. Now she needs to be catapulted into a stronger and competant position, as she can handle it. Draft her, Natalya and Aksana to Raw, and send the others to all obscurity. (Bimbo Bimbo, Eve and Fox - who is still on Smackdown).

The Bellas supported well. Alicia Fox stood on the apron cheering on. That's all she could do. Though for what its worth, she did it with slight enthusiasm. The others were as usual, a waste of time.

Bimbo Bimbo went for one of the Bellas towards the end, though Phoenix smacked the back of the Bella thus tagging in, to then smash Bimbo B with the Glamslam for the disgrace brought upon the wrestling Women to end the match.

Another one. If booked, expect more.

Eve had to rush backstage, where Zack Ryder was wheeled in by a handler. Eve then took over to wheel Zack around in his wheelchair. Telling Laurinaitis that he had done enough, slandered him (hey, wasnn't Eve some kind of ambassador for the bullying campaign? She was on the advert...). Eve would call Ace an "Ass" once he left stating - "There's Gratitude for ya". 

Eve then wheeled Zack into literally a square room which had been customly built so badly and cheaply that everyone could see it as a 'set' in the middle of a wide open space. Cheap is the word in every sense. The room was barely big enough to hold Ryder in the chair.

Kane V John Cena

A standard match in which barely anything happened. Simple as that. 

Halfway through the match Cena attempts a five knuckle sh!t fall onto Kane, who grabs Cena with a clenched fist around his neck. Kane receives a two fall for his efforts.

Cena, being super, quickly finds himself atop the turnbuckle in next to no time at all after a beating from Kane, to attempt a superplex front he top rope. Kane simply falls off the turnbuckle, so Cena can drop the Knuckles onto Kane from the top rope. Kane then blocks an Attitude Adjustment attempt. 

After going for Kane's leg, The big red monster boots Cena out the ring with it. Kane continues his onslaught outside. 

The match then dismally ends on a double countout. Yes. Hard paying fans online and in the arena or in front of their TV screens received a no finish for their paying efforts. 

Both men ended this match on a double count out.

This result occurs at almost every PPV featuring something bigger. Over The Limit and Royal Rumble lead the charge. 

After the phoney result, Kane pounds Cena's chest with chair shots until making their way backstage stopping once Kane's evil eye glances towards Zack Ryder wood hut dressing room. Brian Pillman it aint. Kane kicks the door down (HE huffed and he puffed and he blew it down) as Ryder is seen waiting for him. Zack furiously kicks in his chair to aim to break free.

Ummm, Zack. Your in a wheelchair, dummy! Kane chokes him out, before wheeling him out past Cena, who remarkably isn't Super any more and still stayed down longer than 2 seconds. Only when he sells for himself, its ok...

OMG! I'm just gunna stand here....

Ryder is then wheeled to ringside and dumped out of his chair by the evil fire breath-en. Placed into the ring, Eve joins us again. Pleading with Kane to stop, Kane lifts Ryder and delivers a Tombstone Piledriver. SuperCena has now recovered and charges to the ring to save his homo, oops, homie. 

Awwwwww!!

Kane is allowed to chokeslam Cena too. Ryder is removed via a stretcher.

Still with us :(

WWE then airs the "Be A Star" video, which features Eve, asking you not to be a bully.

Sadly, Eve was not dragged through the Hell Hole/Portal to all obscurity.

Inpromoptu Match

Brodus Clay V Drew McIntyre

After enetering with the Funkettes to the glitter ball disco esq music (a lost era), The Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay strutted to the ring. Designed to sandwhich a rest period before next match-up, this unadvertised match was best placed. McIntyre would blow a kiss to the dancers as Clay shakes his stuff. Bootylicious Brontosaurus! 

Drew strikes with offence before Clay quickly surpresses him from the corner pushed into with a shove and dance. Drew attempts again though Clay retorts with an overhead suplex with height, then a follow up splash in a very quick match that signalled from WWE HQ that Drew CrapIntyre is done. (Yet still remains employed :( ).

Call Yer Daddies!

WWE Championship

Special Referee

Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero V CM Punk

Special Referee – John Laurinaitis

From the offset it would be very clear. John Laurinaitis, claiming he would willingly screw CM Punk after their disagreements surfaced on Raw six days earlier. After a competent match up, 

Johnny Ace stated from the beginning that he would remain on the outside as a special enforcer. He aske gor a new referee, who swiftly arrived. New balls please! What would transpire shortly on, would be a ref bump from John Laurinaitis after Vickie Guerrero's possible interference caused the GM to turn awkwardly to halt any attempts to get involved to structure match order. Johnny just removed the referee in place. 

Lift it up a little :)

A submission attempt would follow. As would a pinfall, with a GTS, too. A reversal then causing Ziggler's legs to Knockout Johnny Ace once Punk hoisted Dolph above his head and spun him round clocking the noggin' of Ace. Punk then planted the Go To Sleep. Oh dear. Whilst not breaking the hold, in the hope a ref would stir to eventually, Punk frustratingly bellowing for a ref whilst still in pin hold, broke to investigate the shoddy dealings occurring.

With Laurinaitis coming to, Ziggler crept behind Punk gaining a seemingly upper hand drilling him and attempting a sneak attack pin. Any superstar would have beaten the champion here. Even CM Punk would have fallen. Which would have opened further opportunity. 

Punk reversed Ziggler's pinfall and gained his upper hand by soon pinning Dolph and ending his dreams of WWE title dominance. The referee, counting, then saw Laurinaitis spring to the ring from outside to count together with referee to enact order. Both agreed on a 3 fall, after Ziggler was "out cole-d". 

Johnny Ace remained impartial as referee by counting Punk as the victor. CM Punk remains WWE Champion.

Any match ladened with such immense outside interaction and governing force bearing down against you, and in fashion where Ziggler caught Punk out, would have seen a new champion, regardless of the persona. The champion, was caught unaware and took the move as a hit. Therefore, the champion had no chance to comeback. This principal was overridden. It ruined the key element to the business. Not wrestling or performing. The business. 

Punk was allowed victory after becoming corporate sell out last year after the leaving angle to earmark a career for himself negotiating with McMahon that his contract give a better prospect. We agree that Punk, as any performer whom loses 9 consecutive PPV's back to back in a yearly period as a near figurehead of said company must tighten his position. Though Punk has practically asked for favouritism. If you are truly talented, your work should be a shining testament people recognise, than just asking for the position to keep me in high esteem? No?

The result of the match was an Ace V Punk nothing match, which destroyed Dolph Ziggler as challenger and booked incomprehensible results. "I can make a new John Cena" - Vince McMahon. 

Didn't snag it one year on.

Is CM Punk the new version of SuperCena? Crippling all opponents just so he can smile and brag with a shiny trinket on his shoulder? Burying all opponents doesn't make a worthy champion. Having challengers you defeat in quality matches from BOTH participants is what makes a champion.

Dolph Ziggler, in the same position as he was last year, a World title match at the very same PPV, with the very same result, then forcing an ugly response from the Universe in the Rumble match itself (read on), Ziggler's chances are as good as dead. What was the last year all for?  Maybe Ziggler should demand a contract leaving angle. At least his character would be able to campaign for change and make it happen. CM Punk has yet to change anything in WWE, which he claimed. He also focuses on his main dream - to get an ice cream bar. Really. 

The Royal Rumble Match

The Miz, Alex Riley, R-Truth, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Primo, Mick Foley, Ricardo Rodriguez, Santino Marella, Epico, Kofi Kingston, Jerry Lawler, Jinder Mahal, The Great Khali, Hunico, Booker T, Dolph Ziggler, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Michael Cole, Kharma, Sheamus, Road Dogg, Jey Uso, Jack Swagger, Wade Barrett, David Otunga, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Big Show 

Knowing the first participant from the previous Raw, The Miz entered as the number one participant. Having some choice words to begin with. Once action was cleared to begin, The Miz would square off against number 2. Former ally, enemy, rival and counterpart, Alex Riley drew number 2.

There he is. A Rileylicious Rumble! 

Yes! The feud is back on. And Riley will be booked highly again, was the first thought of the WWE Universe. Don’t hold your breath. Alex Riley was eliminated by The Miz in less than two minutes, just before the clock counted down to #3.

Why Riley, who, like The Miz, had a perfect opportunity as numbers 1 and 2, involved in one of the biggest matches that can re establish or launch careers was removed in next to no time at all after a couple of moves, just to prove to certain forces outside of the WWE corporate walls (as well as the ones inside those whom he has ‘upset’) ruined yet another star the chance to break out.

In predictable fashion, the WWE Universe had #3 down as the second entry, and sure enough, R-Truth came out as the third man. Beginning the match now, after Riley's dumping to prove a pointless point, R-Truth and Miz finally locked horns in what will be the near culmination of their feud ending series.

Then #4, Cody Rhodes entered. Giving the young breed time to make the Rumble their own was no bad move, but alas, it will always be down to the booking of it overall.

The Miz and Rhodes shortly worked together, with moments of going at it. Both impressed in the ring in style as well as pleasing the gay community. Many wanted these two to replace what Zack and Miri made... (I can feel the photoshops coming...)

Entering afterward would be Justin Gabriel. Predictable, by yours truely, usually in the #3-7 spots, filled with those who have a chance, yet constantly jobbed out senselessly. After being allowed 2 or so moves by roadies, Gabriel was down in typical fashion. Some chance he had...

Quickly joining them was Primo. A headlock on Gabe at turnbuckle corner proved interesting. Though the 'will someone be thrown off' angle wasn't heigthened as it could have been. But with WWe ill favouring "little guys", what else could they do? Primo had one of the most awful eliminations in the match. Another waste.

Gabriel came back shortly with a dropkick.

Then had a confrontation with numbers 7 and 8 - Mick Foley and Ricardo Rodriguez, respectively. Upon entry, the Razella theme music blared. Assuming Alberto Del Rio was driving in, the crowd roured with heat, until then changing its position upon seeing Rodriguez, clad in scarf, car and Del Rio's ring attire also. How fickle fans truly are.

Check out the ride! And Alberto's tights! RICARDO!

After the comedy routine, #9, Santino Marella, locked, 'hands' with Foley. Mr.Socko fought The Cobra, in an amusing (for a few seconds) yet loony angle that deflated the honour of the match. It could have been booked different, (see below post), though with WWE backward booking, ruined the potential the match could've sold in buy rates on forthcoming DVD release.

Epico, (as #10) was gobbled up by Mr.Socko before hurled over the top rope. A tag match would have saved both of them here.

Sock Puppets!

"Catch the angle from Santino's hand"

Miz and Rhodes came back on the scene, where Cody removed the stupidity of Santino. 

Entry 11, Kofi Kingston arrived. Shortly after, the match saw an announcer join the fold. In a 'shock' entry, ringside announcer Jerry Lawler entered. Michael Cole, alongside Booker T, was miffed at the booking. He wasn't the only one. The WWE Universe cannot feasibly comprehend why Lawler, of all people was inserted into the match for new talent, especially when he was booked to last only minutes. Miz then punched Cody in an accident when attempting to nail Lawler, whom ducked from the onslaught. Rhodes then sent Lawler out of the match shortly after.

#13 saw the 'return' of Ezekiel Jackson. A beefcake build, whom transgresses nil transferable skills among wrestling style, aimed to turn it around with a chance in the Rumble. For the 'impact' he gave (barely any), Jackson shouldn't have had this precious spot.

At 14, came out Jinder Mahal. While Mahal has dark and charismatic entrance music to project a tough image, his in-ring booking, does not. Only there for the Indian geo-demographic, since the last Indian superstar was sent packing and never heard of again, Mahal, who senselessly jobs over on Smackdown to Sheamus, among others, was simply not believable. Only there to project audience image, number 15 was on his way.

That's how you take elimination.
Good flight on the legs!

Shock to the arena! The Great Khali returned to PPV. Mahal looked mistified. He knew what was heading his way. Mahal was there to re-infuse the Khali/Mahal pairings over on Smackdown, once more. Mahal was shortly eliminated.

King Lawler was back on announcing duties after his elimination, from his entry of no importance.

Hunico was hurried in at #16. On one of those "one wheeled bikes" with some guy briefly mentioned and forgotten in the haze of announcing mis-matches, #17 followed in after.

"Can You Dig It?, Sucka!!!" Booker T instantly disrobed his suit, underneath, in ring gear, slipped himself into the Rumble. Cole, again was flittering with upset. Though Booker had more of a place in the match, he did not need this entry. He was dispatched shortly after, before the next three entries.

Miz would toss Kofi over the ropes. Kofi ended up on the floor. On his hands! Agile Kingston landed on his hands and managed to use the art form of gymnastics to handstand move on the outside to the ring steps to re-enter the match. This was utterly tedious and devalued the match as well as Kingston, as performer, and those who had to play the part of trying to eliminate him and then having him back in. It was not clever by any means and destroyed the Rumble honour again. The principal was clearly understood - feet didn't touch the floor, just hands so no elimination. Watch it back, and you'll see the point.

Another John Morrison/Spiderman antics from last year, when hopping all over the arena barricades at the side. It cannot get over like that.

Now excused to enter, "because he lost earlier", golden haired warrior, Dolph Ziggler participated in yet another double duty of the night. While this is a regular occurance, is slightly dated now. If they have no one else good enough, why is Ziggler still below the glass ceiling?

Met with comments of - "Who cares?" and " I don't view Ziggler as someone to carry the company as champion" should spark a very big concern with WWE. One day, you must listen AND implement procedures to protect your stars aimed to build broadly. Ziggler has gone from hero to zero. What a waste of a year.

Joined by the first ever winner of the Royal Rumble match in 1988, Hoooooooooooooeeeeee!!! Hacksaw Jim Duggan returned at number 19, in a neccessary place. First ever winner at the silver anniversary was a) deserved and b) there to heighten the prestige of the match honour itself. Only problem is it should have made all others aspire to the goal, which wasn't the feel planted in the match structure. Duggan was eliminated near after entering, which, though his entry was legitimate, fans saw this as a pointless and wasted spot. He should have remained longer. Im sure even despite health condition concerns from WWE, that Duggan would have gladly remained slightly longer, in a fuller capacity to help put another star over.

With 10 more to go, #20 came in the form of someone who had "a hunch", with seconds to announcing the 20th man, Michael Cole was officially pencilled in as numero 20. Instantly disrobing, taking time, of course, Cole unvieled his attire, looking slightly well, in the putrid orange get up. Though, it works, doesn't it? (Attire, that is.)

HaHaHaHaHaHa!! The crowd boomed. #21 came. The third woman to enter the Royal Rumble was none other than a returning Kharma! Sending shivers down anyone and everyones spines, Kharma was focused. Walking with her steady Medusa gaze, glared into Cole's petrified eyes. Upon entering the ring, walking towards her prey, Kharma felt a strike towards her. Unbroken, but aware, Kharma turned, seeing Dolph Ziggler challenging her aura, grabbed him and hurled him up high into the finisher - The Faithbreaker. (Ironic) Yet still the WWE Universe do not know what it is called, due to WWE not verbally communicating it in any way on TV. Joining Michelle McCool, Maryse, Eve and the like, Ziggler got Kharma'd!

Yes. That is Kharma drilling Dolph Ziggler.
The KDD - Kharma Dolph Drop!

Once Ziggler was dealt with, Kharma continued to Cole, re-enacting the Kane/Drew Carey moment from 2001, Cole clambered over the ropes in fear, with Kharma preying onto him like a heavy wind breathing down him with her domineering gaze. Lawler an Booker wouldull both Cole's legs away from him to gain elimination after both lost out before him.

Taking her piercing eyes off the ball, Ziggler returned with Karma of his own and nailed the returning Woman over the top rope. Kharma recieved the biggest pop, yet held less than two minutes in the match. Another wasted spot, seeing as Kharma's premice had many angles and with size, menace and prowress, could have tangled longer with, and posed serious threat to the rest of the boys. She also has more of an interest than most, if not all the characters in the WWE, on its very roster. Food for thought.

Kharma's a coming for YOU!

After Kharma was cleared, The Great White, Sheamus strode down the aisle to join the match. Delivering the non-descript, powerhouse moves once again in stylistic WWE fashion. Hit one, hit next one, hit other one. All down, Pose. Then get out of shot.

We didn't know!

The 23rd man was former attitude era cohort Road Dogg! Previously returning at the Slammys on Raw a month ago, in December.  Dogg, who was legit as a nostalgia entry, played in the 2012 version of WWE.

24 and 25 saw Jey Uso and Jack Swagger hurtle down the ramp. Jey, with Jimmy for encouragement, up the ramp filled the 'we need jobbers' patch. Swagger, still United States champion, having no hope in hell of winning this match, came also. Both were uninteresting.

26 saw the Barrett Barrage cometh. Wade Barrett, the man whom crushed former favourite, Randy Orton with injury in December, came to fight.

Following him was speculation. Out came David Otunga. Yes. Otunga was booked. No one cared.

So #28 picked it up towards the nearing end of entrants. Hometown hero Randy Orton! Orton returned, making a beeline for Barrett. Quickly eliminating Wade with ease, Orton gathered momentum at the pivitol moment - when the Rumble dies down for the next big entry. Orton also dropped Rhodes and Ziggler with the double rope DDT, which gave both stars a chance to play with an established WWE entity while maintaing their placement. This built the pair of them, and didn't harm them. Many should look back on how to do so from these tangles in the past for encouragement to getting over.

Two spots left. Christian? Undertaker? Zack Ryder? Doink the clown?

#29 dimmed the lights rapidly. DOOF! The arena sparkled. The man who returned on the 2nd January Raw to immense hype, whom has bearly spoke a word, entered to screaming girls and some hetro "Y2J's". Chris Jericho retuned to have his first major and grandest match back in the WWE. Y2J has never looked better. The body is a testament to that. And slightly washboard. :p

Trickle of sweat down there?

All Jericho needs now to complete the package, pardon the pun, is to have sparkly lights around his tights. They cannot match the jacket as plain tights. Make it work!

So 29 men have entered. 1 left. Jericho, being lined up for a Wrestlemania match with the Undertaker (which is a viable and more efficient booking), (Future post coming), would have started to lay foundations here for that. No beginning with the CM Punk angle, neither. The road to Wrestlemania did not begin.

Number 30 arrived. None other than, Big Show. Yes. Big Show. A man who was in the beginning match and, we are meant to believe had gained a spot in the Rumble. How exactly? So, who, in storyline terms, did he take the place from? Show was also involved in the World title match, above all else. WWE cannot give you an answer. Though McMahon understands with passion that to work angles you must adhere to them by remaining off TV or if in PPV match, non entry to the Rumble unless per stipulation (Lesnar, B :2003).

Do you remember him?

But being a big build, which McMahon favours, without a clue how to book it, decided it was the way forward. So Show is in.

Upon entry he came and instanly, and absurdedly double clotheslined The Miz AND Cody Rhodes to elimination. The WWE Universe were pissed, baffled and lost faith in the WWE. That a man of Big Show destroyed two strengthened stars in the WWE, whom are ever growing into their roles was inconceivable and destructive.

This has left an even bigger question mark over the running of WWE as a credible entity, more than anything else that happened in 2011. Well done.

To further add to this lunacy. Dolph Ziggler was hurled out next, also.

The final four were left. Big Show, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho and Sheamus.

That Big Show remained was a crying shame to all in the Universe, the locker-room and the WWE. So, Orton, hometown and fan favourite to win (since decided three months ago), Jericho, being discussed for a Punk/WWE title clash at 'Mania, and Sheamus, a man whom spent the most part of the year in tired angles with Christian, perfoming only one move as a powerhouse, and gym buddy to Triple H, as a failed King last year, were the final options.

Orton shortly felled Big Show, then to mass shock, though good procedure to send one of the two big characters out, Randy Orton was dispatched by Jericho. Orton had previously written off Jericho from TV, if anyone isn't supposed to remember.

Orton, did not need it, as Wrestling Wonders has expressed previously. He has more chances further on, as he himself expressed in an interview before the match.

Jericho V Sheamus. It was on. Sheamus was almost quickly eliminated, though did the rope hold on technique. Feet didn't touch the floor. It was soon to be Jericho's turn. Both were given time to have their worked match. As a Rumble match, it needed a third man to add the contrast, though the principal of two having time to tussel is a favourable move. With many counters to elimination and slight wrestling credentials, this was entertaining for the booking procedure, though it was boring to a degree in the ring.

Of course, the Rumble specualtion remained the priority to what fans were most interested in. It would have been preferable, however, that two new stars would be the final two, further enhancing at the silver anniversary, that the company is taking new direction, as well as enarmouring the favoured winner with a high sense of direction to developing for the company fruitfully. The second man as loser would still 'win'.

After Brogue Kicks and Codebreakers, Jericho found himself on the apron over the ropes holding on as Sheamus thought he bagged it. A Brogue Kick from the Celtic Warrior nailed Y2J in the face and shock to the Universe, sent Jericho, the new fan favourite of the two, off the apron to the mats below, signalling the Irishman's victory.

Brogue Kick for yer fella!

Sheamus won the 2012 Royal Rumble, in its 25th year. What an opportunity. Given to someone undeserving and waivered in the minds of those watching and meant to invest in this character, as a champion, no less.

Sheamus wins Wrestlemania main event

Daniel Bryan just got screwed. If you think Sheamus, the new face of Smackdown, and a new star to stand alongside Orton, will move to Raw, which is already overloaded with Cena, Punk, Ziggler and Jericho, you would be mistaken.

Smackdown has Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan. Sheamus was meant to be in 2011. Though he is still up there already clarifies the Rumble victory was unneccssary and worthless. He could be inserted into a title picture tomorrow, without the Rumble guarantee. Those who do not have that guarantee, whom need to climb the ladder, like that of Money In The Bank, are the ones this match is designed for. The reason buy rates are high, is due to the Rumble match alone. Though numbers dip due to its booking principals.

Cody Rhodes was given the most eliminations, though bafflingly dismayed at the last hurdle, along with The Miz, whom was intended to recieve higher respect from the audience as prestigious number 1.

Lawler, Otunga, Jey Uso, Big Show and Dolph Ziggler should have been omitted. Add Ezekiel Jackson, Primo, Epico and Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger and there would be 10 spots vacated for other worthy stars.

VINTAGE!

Epico, Primo and Kingston, along with Mason Ryan, whom Kofi tagged with after Bourne became belligerent. could have placed in a tag match. Swagger could have defended the US title. And the card would not have been overloaded, with what was also currently on it.

Those matches went on too long in places.

After entering 30 men and those still not in it, you realise that WWE actually have more than 30 men capable on its roster. Though it negated that with booking daft or unworthy and unbelievable to ascend stars in it which had no credibility. Cole was a credit to the Kharma angle placement, though if others are announcing, they should stick to it. All 3 were eliminated in space of each other, where non of them supported the match type nor its structure. 

Triple H's no call up of talent unless their is a strong stroyline awaiting them is the correct approach. Though it needs to start thinking of some. Rollins and Ambrose are two who could have began a strong WWE career of the bat of Rumble with a strong idea. Often classed by some Universers as "Lazy Booking".

What we want to see next? 

A woman to last a long time in the Rumble. Perhaps Natalya will gain the honour next year. In the final 4 or 5 would suffice. It is not as crazy as it seems, especially regarding the way its been booked every year. Any superstar enter the match and not be tossed out in less than or just over 3 minutes in length. A creation of superstars aiming to break out to strengthen the position of Upper tier, mid card, lower card, and power jobber. Feud or feuds created off the bat of a match that features so many 'egos' that it is inevitable others while be disgruntled with some. Forming tag teams from it. Cutting stupid gimmick angles like the John Morrison/Kofi Kingston hopping antics. It devalues the characters, and the match. Random selection and working the match around the combatants already involved by random number selection. A number 2 victory. A number 3 victory. A number 17 victory. No one in a previous match on the card. 

WWE design the rumble rehearsals numerous times to a fine tee, and select whom removes who from the battle. Cody Rhodes was awarded the honour of most eliminations. Though was downplayed with no outlook to his future off this diverted road.

So who benefited? 

Trying to think is hard. No match was sufficient, though only Daniel Bryan held his competence. All individual matches were rotten. And of the Rumble? Sadly NO - ONE benefited. Which makes that an utter disgrace. No lines were opened up. Sheamus won, but did not have any influence. Everyone truly jobbed. Rhodes had nothing to go on. Miz was dropped after presented with a chance. Orton came and went. Jericho had his moment from his month long return, saddled with building another star. For that WWE should be ashamed. Royal Rumble is one of the biggest and most superlative support systems to a future. They took that away from everyone. How can you claw that back? Serious damage control needed now more than ever. You really need to now implement change in more than just one factor or dimension. Showcase you listen and cut the dictatorial decisions, or their wont be a future in sight.

Imma Gunna Win the Royal Rumbles!!

Hey, maybe next year, SantinA Marella will stage a comeback. Rock on Sista! 

Men/Women of their matches - Daniel Bryan, Natalya, Kane, CM Punk, Brodus Clay, Cody Rhodes

Man/Woman of the PPV - Kharma

PPV Rating - 4/10

ELIMINATIONS
Name-Number Eliminated-Bested by


Alex Riley (1), R-Truth (2) - The Miz
Primo (3), Epico (6) - Mick Foley
Justin Gabriel (4) - Mick Foley and Ricardo Rodriguez
Ricardo Rodrigeuz (5) - Santino Marella
Santino Marella (7), Mick Foley (8), Jerry Lawler (9) Jim Duggan (12) - Cody Rhodes
Jinder Mahal (10), Ezekiel Jackson (11) - The Great Khali
Booker T (13), The Great Khali (14) - Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler
Kharma (17) - Dolph Ziggler
Michael Cole (15) - Jerry Lawler and Booker T
Hunico (16) - Kharma
Kofi Kinston (18) Chris Jericho (29) - Sheamus
Road Dogg (19) - Wade Barrett
Jey Uso (20), Wade Barrett (21) Big Show (27) - Randy Orton
David Otunga (22), Randy Orton (28) - Chris Jericho
Jack Swagger (23), Cody Rhodes (24), The Miz (25), Dolph Ziggler (26)- Big Show

 ©  Max Waltham 2nd February 2012

The Slammy's! 2011

The Slammy's!

The 2011 version of the WWE's Slammies event awarded certain stars in-house achievements. The Slammy can often be used as another tool to accentuate a feud as well as honouring what was worthwhile and respective TV viewing to its audience. Did the victors of these awards further enhance their worth and prestige to the upper echelons of a true WWE star fans could invest in for a future purpose?

The first Slammy instantly began the show. Presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle the, Tell me I didn't just see that! Slammy had four candidates. Eve and Alicia Fox had duties to bring out the presenters in a hostess esq role which did nothing for them, though Fox, who is comfortable being cast into a "support staff" role, which makes her future look dismal, showed more enthusiasm than Eve.

JR's poppin and lockin dance in the Michael Cole challenge, The Royal Rumble 2011, where Santino hid under the ring to the end and almost eliminated the winner, Alberto Del Rio after attempting a cobra finisher. Also nominated where R-Truth having a cup of water thrown in his face by a fan in attendance dubbed "Little Jimmy", and The Miz dressed up as The Rock in a parody moment.

The winner? - JR Jim Ross! Michael Cole instantly erupted with immense anger, which then saw Booker throw down a challenge of a rap off between the two announcers. Mikey C Cole went first. The latter, JR ended up winning the contest. Booker wanted to end this with a Ross-aroonie! Hornswoggle, by the way, was sporting an Afro and was acknowledged as being able to speak, now that Santa Clause gave him this "gift".

The second Slammy later on, was announced by Ted DiBiase and Mick Foley. This would be the Holy symbols award (holy s***!). Being an ordained minister made Ted the Holy part, forcing Foley to comprehend he must be the .... DiBiase's maniacal laugh bellowed. It was a decent moment.

Sheamus slamming and "injuring" Sin Cara at MITB PPV, Randy Orton RKO'ing Christian onto the steel steps with height from the ropes, Big Show/Mark Henry collapsing the ring at Vengeance, and Evan Bourne performing the Shooting Star Press off the ladder onto the rest of the challengers at MITB.

So, the victor was... Big Show and Brock Henry in the predictable, non feud enhancing Slammy win. Show would go on to thank the "Academy" arts and athletics, talking about the most Visual spectacular - unapologetic for his behaviour to the Universe over the months for being lacklustre. Show claimed he was good at what he did and chose not to give a care in the world about the audience nor the young challengers he is meant to help bring along further up the ladder, even in the case of Henry, he should have developed more of a spectacle considering both were booked for their sizes alone.

Show then headed down to the ring for a match with Wade Barrett. Setting up the impending PPV, TLC, with table in place, Barrett found himself atop the turnbuckle, aiming to strike the Big Show with the Barrett Barrage to the outside of the ring, though Show had already stirred to his feet and the two had a stare off. Big Show chose to break more than the apparatus in wrestling principals. He slammed his fists onto the table crushing it down the middle, aiming to show his fierce powerhouse aggression as a formidable opponent which made him look laughable and left Barrett exposed up top, while Show exposed how cheap the tables are, which we already know, but should not have been highlighted this way.

Show later punched a chair, which Barrett aimed to use. The most disjointed finish happened. Big Show "won" by a DQ. This result was unwarranted as the DQ never happened. Barrett did not USE the chair or weapon/s, meaning the match was a no contest and should have continued, but hey, Big Show and certain others are allowed to break the rules in their favour, which, destroys audience respect and ratings. It is purely these 1980 decisions that deter viewers as it isn't done correctly, then failing to become translatable to a credible star. Stars like them will not amount to anything when their career is truly over. Think about that, and you'll maybe figure out how to restructure even the most dire old hats. They will have no legacy and will always be a forgotten waste of time.

To present the third award, feels long already, doesn't it? Shock! Road Dogg Jesse James. I wonder if he is in WWE 12, per chance?

Aiming to "keep it PG" he then gave a rendition from the DX days, to cheers from fans. Someone from 1997 still has his aura to gain a pop from the audience.. with intrigue for what he could possibly achieve if returned briefly or fuller in some capacity.

R -  Truth's Green Bay/Milwakee gaff made the grade along with Santino's showing of the Cobra to the fake Barack Obama and his Men In Black FBI force apprehending him, assuming he would assault the Pres, at the Capitol Punishment PPV. Added to the nom's where Stone Cold offering CM Punk a beer, and R-Truth/Miz/Christian having a tongue twister at Randy Riley Jimmy.

After four were announced, tons more came. Too many to mention, including John Laurinaitis's hilarious Universe slip up, "OOh-viverse", with confusion aside, CM Punk arrived, equipped with a mannequin. No, it wasn't Eric Young. And it didn't resemble Max Waltham.

In issue 207 of Powerslam magazine, it was written that "some wag" would probably drag up Laurinaitis' history as a derogatory method. That "wag" was a reference to Max Waltham, no doubt, whom had no intention of crushing Johnny Ace, regardless of bad hiring decisions. As an on screen charcter, Ace has been of worth to an extent in the current WWE climate.

The "wag" in question was actually CM Punk, who revealed Johnny Ace's history, due to the fact that the "wag" in Powerslam mentioned it first. What an irony. And all because they wouldn't hire MW for one page of written word. Instead, over the last three or so months, you can see them aiming to 'adopt' the MW voice which looks dire, and has restricted the magazine's written word.

Yes. It has also hired a dire writer to produce the pages of 16 - 19 in issue 208 , which attempts to give voice to a new writer in order to snub MW, and in hindsight has become completely disjointed and unreadable as an 'article' on TNA's PPV. Claiming that the magazine has prestige in whom it hires, they hired an average joe to write in order to prove something which discredited the sole piece. The Editor should be ashamed to have allowed that to go out to print. For someone claiming they aren't like the WWE in elitist principals, they don't realise they are exactly that. Ego does not fit in the publishing world as wrestling would have it.

John Laurinaitis won the Slammy, whom couldn't accept for some reason, this being Punk's reasoning for the mannequin

Presenting the Divalicious Slammy of the Year, none other than one of the greatest ever, Lita!

I wonder where the word Divalicious came from? Everyone knows where an "alicious comes from" mainly Rileylicious, which WWE still haven't dropped properly! So, are WWE choosing to f**k with me? Seems that way. How sad. My 'ramblings' are creative advice, constructive and help talent to get across because the office has lost its way. Yet they use this writer as a form of research and ideas, which have been encorporated, on screen. It's fine if you give back. Waltham hasn't recieved anything yet... Never did I think McMahon was scared of anyone, let alone an intuative ... ! Scared that the product could actually be good if one was on board? X

maxwaltham@hotmail.co.uk

Back to the Slammy's. So, who would claim it? Natalya and the double sharpshooter on Eve and Layla, Kelly Kelly defeating Brie Bella for the Unified Diva's title, Kharma destroying and retiring Michelle Mc Cool and Beth Phoenix glamslamming Eve from the top rope.

The winner - Bimbo Bimbo when she killed off the Women's division by defeating the last remaining Women's Champion, Brie Bella.

Natalya and Phoenix instantly arrived, on cue, Beth snatched the Slammy, claimed she was "Diva of the year", before Bimbo Bimbo, a babyface, chose to attack Phoenix by slapping her around the face, unprovoked. If ever there was a true joke, this was it. Babyfaces do not attack for no reason, let alone at all. Another discredit proving the Women's division is dead to BB's forces striking again. WWE should be ashamed. With an unbiased view, anyone can see Phoenix claimed it, yet WWE chose to disrespect the viewing public, in order to make sure the dire KK had something to put her name too, because she has absolutely nothing to contribute as an entity.

Santino and the Bella's then introduced after a comedy intro of "ohm-g!", the OMG moment of the year, comprised of HHH tombstoning the Undertaker (WM 27), a rock bottom on Cena also at WM 27, Superstars walk out on C.O.O. HHH, and Punk taking the WWE Title at MITB. Triple H, naturally, claimed the Slammy.

Instantly HHH returned to the arena, with sledghammer in tow. Flaunting the "epic" match, H would go on to state that the Undertaker being unable to walk out of mania thanks to HHH means this was the OMG moment henceforth. Then addressing Kevin Nash in prepartion to the TLC PPV this Sunday, (18th). This Sunday, HHH claimed it "didn't matter who was right or wrong" then said he would climb the ladder and gain the sledgehammer because he was "right". Right about what, exactly?

HHH also refused the Slammy from Santino. (Plans are being discussed for another UT v HHH match at WMania. This is going to be pointless once again, Can it, and find a new challenger. Not Kane, it needs to be a fresh opponent (therein may lie the problem). Jericho would also be a fine option.

It got worse. David Otunga presented the next Slammy with Hall of Famer, Tony Atlas. The trending star of the year award, would be a Fatal Four Way match to see which of the four would be the most trended on social media outlet, Twitter. Yes. WWE once again relied on Twitter, however this time made a specific match to the website, devaluing the actual purpose of wrestling a match for a comeptive business aimed at achieving different goals.

It was here that Atlas went into overkill with his laughing hippo comedy routine. It served no purpose and fell flat on humourous after the second laugh. When explained he was laughing at Otunga specifically, the explanation still could not be backed up. Yes. WWE book anything they think of without thinking about it. There is no meaning which is what fans require. That is why ratings truly dip.

Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder were the four locking horns.

Some of the hottest moments came here in this match, especially the Cody Rhodes shots in pinfall attempts with Daniel Bryan. All four put on a good match, which became the best of the night by far. And yet WWE classed it as the less important to aspire to. Rhodes was the top man in this one, closely followed by Bryan.

All four delivered superb suplexes off the turnbuckles after one another. That looked beautiful.

Winner - if there was any doubt, Zack Ryder. What exactly did he win, apart from the Slammy of non importance?

Another superstar returned to the prestigous awards event. Christian arrived to present the slammy for Game changer of the year. Entering on cruthces, Christian claimed he should have been nominated for making it there in his current condition, as well as airing his disgruntled treatment, asking for "one more match", after being a two time World Champion in the space of a year. Technically it was just months apart, through no fault of his own.

The one "pivital moment that changed the WWE" (clearly a Waltham nomination was also omitted), Capt'n C blamed the WWE Universe for failure to support him in the last match opportunity he never felt he recieved.

"No one man is bigger than the WWE" - Vince McMahon.

The HHH/McMahon firing was up for offering, alongside Edge, Kevin Nash's return at MITB in which he powerbombed CM Punk after winning his first WWE Title to then lose to opportunistic cash in from Alberto Del Rio, and The Rock and John Cena's continuing saga.

To build Wrestlemania 28, The Rock and Cena won, to which Cena, as babyface, accepted the award and berated his opponent at the upcoming 'Mania in April. This was a right Slammy recieval for building momentum, however was completly implemented incorrectly. Cena would raise the hopes of fans by playing Rock's music, and then the via satellite messages that he knew weren't there. In heelish teasing fashion, Cena, a babyface who will never turn anytime soon, and especially not for 'Mania or 2012, he would choose to apologise for Team Bring It for failing to "bring It". It was meant to be a hot promo, yet Cena ruined it with the script monotone child mannerisms that failed to sell for anyone once again. He claimed that Rock and Cena at Wrestlemania 28 would be the game changer "for ever". He boldly claimed we would get Cena "at his very best". That remains to be seen...

4 of the 6 nominees would fight in Tag action. The Miz and Del Rio battled together against Punk and Orton. Cena and Henry were "upgraded". Thankfully, their particpation outside of this was its saving grace. The 4 man tag proved to be a fair match. After Miz and Del Rio worked Punk down for most of the beginning, Punk retailiated with action and a "nap time" yell attempting a GTS. Del Rio and Miz had strong tag team principals together. Punk also delivered a smooth and fluid swing neckbreaker on Miz. 

This match purposely built five stars in their match to the looming PPV, which we commend. Wade Barrett came out of nowhere to assault Randy Orton, whom was awaiting the hot tag on the apron. Shortly after this, Orton's fury gave chase to Barrett through the crowd, leaving Punk without a partner to tag in.

Shortly before, Miz would goad Orton for not getting said tag and bounced up and down in another aerobics dance workout video :) then shortly after missed a spot and landed his knackers into the turnbuckle. Ouch! Eventually Miz would redeem himself and planted the Skull Crushing Finale onto Punk for the three fall. The Miz needed back in the game, and this was a start to that.

After the finish, both men lifted a ladder together to charge at Punk and then slam it down onto him, while underneath, after an elevated aggressive slam downwards. Wounded, Punk was then locked into Del Rio's armlock whilst trapped among the ladder. Miz, on microphone had strong words for Chicago's own. They aimed to make sure Punk would make it to TLC, "'cause one of us is taking the WWE title away from you". "You're done at TLC!". As of time of writing, plans for Cena to referree Zack Ryder's US title match will someohow warrant him being in the main WWE title match on the card. WWE have no clue what to do, and cannot ever allow three different stars to elevate themselves for the company. Adding Cena will destroy any chance of making these three stars ever more stronger. WWE still seek their top heel, as both Miz and Del Rio have been downplayed by the company. With Cena added, all will fail forever. As well as the fact it wasn't scheduled/advetised.

The A-Lister of the year award came afterward. Vickie Guerrero was joined by a returning Goldust! who claimed Vickie won. Excitied for what she would recieve it for, Goldie explained she managed to wear more make up than him! "Excuse Me!!!!????!!!" 

A video clip of Kane was also shown beforehand, marking his impending return to the WWE soon. His video was just shown, so he wont return tonight, will he?

Candidates for this Slammy were, Hugh Jackman, whom supported and put all talent over when he chaperoned Zack Ryder. Jackman floored Ziggler with a stroyline jaw KO punch, which was very believable to dupe audiences on Twitter. Good job WWE! 

Joining Jackman would be the Muppets, Snooki and Cee Lo Green. All worthy, but for some reason, Green was my winner. Though I'm drawn to Jackman for many reasons.

Vickie told Goldust, "I'm opening the envelope!"

The winner? --- Snooki! Vickie's dispared eyes rolled as Goldie told us Snook sent a message. WWE were highly impressed with her training prepearing for her Wrestlemania match, in 2011. Most believe that is why she claimed a Slammy. The real reason was after she mentioned in her acceptance speech, it was "Frickin' Awesome!" and not to forget to watch, "Jersey shore, which airs in January!". WWE, so desperate to gain multi media outlets for 2012 fail to understand that wrestling levels were what it was build upon, and that the wrestling fans are the ones that should gain the priority and focus before moving into a entertainment telly/PR side of things. You already have/had an audience. Your reliance on media outlet rebranding has proven to show you have lost a good proportion of that audience, which can be reclaimed if you bother to adhere to the wrestling principals. If you don't, what reason does any wrestling fan have to continue on with a product that is moving away from the sole foundation it was built upon?

Josh Mathews interviews Mark Henry.

Next match... Sheamus entered... Jinder Mahal followed, speaking in his mother tongue. Then he provided translation right after. As he walked to the ring, Mahal claimed he would enter a Slammy winning performance. As soon as he stepped in the ring, Sheamus delivered a Brogue Kick which floored Mahal instantly. The match was declared over. Sheamus left. Sheamus did NOT even COVER Mahal for a three fall properly. Absolutley ludicrous, not to mention pointless for Mahal. There wasn't a need to book this match. Another reason WWE has lost sight with its viewership. Just don't book it. Neither person won here.

Presenting Slammy for Superstar of the year was... Rey Mysterio! Rey was met with loud chants of "Sin Cara". "Performing for you is the greatest honour" Rey stated. We agree. Though WWE's script on Rey didn't sell with passion as should be intended, surely?

Rey announced the names. Randy Orton, The Miz, CM Punk, then he paused for lengthy time and biasedly disgruntedly mumbled in hatred murmur, Alberto Del Rio, before naming Mark Henry and John Cena also.

The fact Rey, aiming to keep feud going yes, lost his accuracy in unbiased portrayal was a bad decision. Rey, who had beef with Miz and Punk, kept impartial. Even issues with Henry were there. Yet this portrayal for ADR actually did not sell him. It also highlighted Rey's comeback feud. Sparodicly the matches are fine, though everyone is sick and tired of Rey/Del Rio being milked to a point where it falls of its hind legs and has no gumption to carry it any further. Cena/Orton/HHH in your achives would be a good example to explain for you.

Among any doubt, CM Punk picked up the gong for Superstar. Clearly, the most talked about star over the year would win. Though the actual superstars were either Orton or Del Rio. Orton's 5 star work ethic in excellent matches, as well as Del Rio's breakthrough year of Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Money In The Bank and WWE title victories outshone all else.

Del Rio, love or loathe, clearly bagged it. WWE's stalling of him cost the top heel spot it has desired. If they put the World title on him at Wrestlemania, he would have been exactly that by now. Respecting Edge to leave as champ was their decision. Edge should have proved ever more the professional by losing the title, setting a new star up and proving, with this action, that he truly was a wrestling great for the business. He would have been respected greatly. That didn't happen.

John Laurinaitis arrived. Couldn't get there earlier? The Universe assumed he wasn't there. Yet broke that in revealing him till last. If he won a Slammy earlier, he would have picked that up. This was a stupid move. Johnny took Punk's Slammy in return. Pointless. 

WWE's returns video aired again. (post is coming soon on that).

Jennifer Gantini, a mother and wife from Virginia, whom works in Afghanistan for the troops of the US, had her son and husband in attendance to honour her. We thought it was a good touch, but clearly we know why it was broadcast.... If McMahon made rightful decisions for the product as he claims then I would be able to "throw my arms around him". His ego seems to believe WW dislikes him personally. You would be wrong. We just cannot condone certain illogical ideologies surrounding wrong people in the right spots. 

Alas, onto the main event. Mark Henry would face John Cena. After a boring match with no real relevance and just to fill time, shortly into it, an explosion happened! Shocking nonetheless, a moments pause, darkness came and the fire burned! Kane returned! Mark Henry, the man who shelved The Big Red Machine looked immensly petrified. Making sure his knees didn't buckle as he left the ring to the outside, Cena, in ring turned around as Kane had entered. The masked monster, dressed in a welder's mask, (Flashdance is ever appropriate), chokeslammed John Cena! To no explanation at all, WWE have also moved Kane, a Smackdown! superstar to Raw, in the hope to launch someone who has lived out his usefullness as a main event star since his years ago in the company, is being pushed towards matches with Cena. As much as we like Kane's character in parts, it is the standard Henry/Show practise. Put the mask back on and just run with it. No explanations, which will soon fall flat on its backside. 

Kane is a Smackdown! superstar, yet WWE will break its own parametered walls once again, because it is desperate for new stars when it fails to understand that it could have created them yet chose not to, and now realise there is a struggle. Fans want new stars, not the old ones. Living in the past does not make worthwhile decisions for the public. Are they really willing to pay for this product when the big veterans who have become stale and outdated are the top of the bill? No. They come to see Del Rio using an armbar or Orton's RKO. They cheer for a knee to the face with a GTS.

With no reasoning to why Kane has returned, it is a shoddy choice many refuse to be a part of. Why are there so many streams on Justin.tv? Can you honestly expect the WWE Universe to pay hard earned cash for something they feel is cheap, has bad end result decisions to match endings and feuds not created, favourite stars undeveloped or bumped to Superstars or NXT, and extortionate prices for a bad card line up for wrestling principals?

All winners were babyfaces, not one feud was enhanced, and no victor was someone who was deserving, which is what the event was meant to be. Clearly WWE have lost touch with what this three hour event's aims were. To keep the audience going as well as feel rectified that a bleak 2011 would be the past and 2012 would deliver a new essence to a future with promise and intent to change the product a better way forward fans can support. The Royal Rumble is your chance to change it all once again and get back on course. Giving the wrong person the win, as well as not setting up a number of performers will be costly on all levels. You seriously need to look towards the future. Fans are irate, and losing patience. How long will it take before realising long term plans being kept for Wrestlemania can also be too long when the position of the company's non existent stars are turning viewers away from the lead up to the biggest extravaganza in WWE's calendar.

ps. With the redesign of the Womens/Diva's divison and feeding Punk some material for his lines after his initial promos, among words, angles and support to constructive advice to re developing as a star, giving Eve a role and keeping Alicia Fox in employment for the time being,  Max Waltham clearly should've won Slammy for game changer of the year - just to let you know :p, as well as Divalicious of the year. Of course, one sets the Trends, others copy, they just don't acknowledge, but I know... and I mention. Because unlike most of the players in the business, I have true passion for it. (If only I had a promotion...). Anyone need a booker? :)

Until then...  do whatever you like, I'm tired, work harder than you know and need rest. But more is coming... Still have 4 posts coming in days as well as TLC review! Follow, share, comment, subscribe, Tweet me, @MaxWaltham , Yadda Yadda...

Max X

© Max Waltham 17th December 2011