Sunday, 18 December 2011

The Slammy's! 2011

The Slammy's!

The 2011 version of the WWE's Slammies event awarded certain stars in-house achievements. The Slammy can often be used as another tool to accentuate a feud as well as honouring what was worthwhile and respective TV viewing to its audience. Did the victors of these awards further enhance their worth and prestige to the upper echelons of a true WWE star fans could invest in for a future purpose?

The first Slammy instantly began the show. Presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle the, Tell me I didn't just see that! Slammy had four candidates. Eve and Alicia Fox had duties to bring out the presenters in a hostess esq role which did nothing for them, though Fox, who is comfortable being cast into a "support staff" role, which makes her future look dismal, showed more enthusiasm than Eve.

JR's poppin and lockin dance in the Michael Cole challenge, The Royal Rumble 2011, where Santino hid under the ring to the end and almost eliminated the winner, Alberto Del Rio after attempting a cobra finisher. Also nominated where R-Truth having a cup of water thrown in his face by a fan in attendance dubbed "Little Jimmy", and The Miz dressed up as The Rock in a parody moment.

The winner? - JR Jim Ross! Michael Cole instantly erupted with immense anger, which then saw Booker throw down a challenge of a rap off between the two announcers. Mikey C Cole went first. The latter, JR ended up winning the contest. Booker wanted to end this with a Ross-aroonie! Hornswoggle, by the way, was sporting an Afro and was acknowledged as being able to speak, now that Santa Clause gave him this "gift".

The second Slammy later on, was announced by Ted DiBiase and Mick Foley. This would be the Holy symbols award (holy s***!). Being an ordained minister made Ted the Holy part, forcing Foley to comprehend he must be the .... DiBiase's maniacal laugh bellowed. It was a decent moment.

Sheamus slamming and "injuring" Sin Cara at MITB PPV, Randy Orton RKO'ing Christian onto the steel steps with height from the ropes, Big Show/Mark Henry collapsing the ring at Vengeance, and Evan Bourne performing the Shooting Star Press off the ladder onto the rest of the challengers at MITB.

So, the victor was... Big Show and Brock Henry in the predictable, non feud enhancing Slammy win. Show would go on to thank the "Academy" arts and athletics, talking about the most Visual spectacular - unapologetic for his behaviour to the Universe over the months for being lacklustre. Show claimed he was good at what he did and chose not to give a care in the world about the audience nor the young challengers he is meant to help bring along further up the ladder, even in the case of Henry, he should have developed more of a spectacle considering both were booked for their sizes alone.

Show then headed down to the ring for a match with Wade Barrett. Setting up the impending PPV, TLC, with table in place, Barrett found himself atop the turnbuckle, aiming to strike the Big Show with the Barrett Barrage to the outside of the ring, though Show had already stirred to his feet and the two had a stare off. Big Show chose to break more than the apparatus in wrestling principals. He slammed his fists onto the table crushing it down the middle, aiming to show his fierce powerhouse aggression as a formidable opponent which made him look laughable and left Barrett exposed up top, while Show exposed how cheap the tables are, which we already know, but should not have been highlighted this way.

Show later punched a chair, which Barrett aimed to use. The most disjointed finish happened. Big Show "won" by a DQ. This result was unwarranted as the DQ never happened. Barrett did not USE the chair or weapon/s, meaning the match was a no contest and should have continued, but hey, Big Show and certain others are allowed to break the rules in their favour, which, destroys audience respect and ratings. It is purely these 1980 decisions that deter viewers as it isn't done correctly, then failing to become translatable to a credible star. Stars like them will not amount to anything when their career is truly over. Think about that, and you'll maybe figure out how to restructure even the most dire old hats. They will have no legacy and will always be a forgotten waste of time.

To present the third award, feels long already, doesn't it? Shock! Road Dogg Jesse James. I wonder if he is in WWE 12, per chance?

Aiming to "keep it PG" he then gave a rendition from the DX days, to cheers from fans. Someone from 1997 still has his aura to gain a pop from the audience.. with intrigue for what he could possibly achieve if returned briefly or fuller in some capacity.

R -  Truth's Green Bay/Milwakee gaff made the grade along with Santino's showing of the Cobra to the fake Barack Obama and his Men In Black FBI force apprehending him, assuming he would assault the Pres, at the Capitol Punishment PPV. Added to the nom's where Stone Cold offering CM Punk a beer, and R-Truth/Miz/Christian having a tongue twister at Randy Riley Jimmy.

After four were announced, tons more came. Too many to mention, including John Laurinaitis's hilarious Universe slip up, "OOh-viverse", with confusion aside, CM Punk arrived, equipped with a mannequin. No, it wasn't Eric Young. And it didn't resemble Max Waltham.

In issue 207 of Powerslam magazine, it was written that "some wag" would probably drag up Laurinaitis' history as a derogatory method. That "wag" was a reference to Max Waltham, no doubt, whom had no intention of crushing Johnny Ace, regardless of bad hiring decisions. As an on screen charcter, Ace has been of worth to an extent in the current WWE climate.

The "wag" in question was actually CM Punk, who revealed Johnny Ace's history, due to the fact that the "wag" in Powerslam mentioned it first. What an irony. And all because they wouldn't hire MW for one page of written word. Instead, over the last three or so months, you can see them aiming to 'adopt' the MW voice which looks dire, and has restricted the magazine's written word.

Yes. It has also hired a dire writer to produce the pages of 16 - 19 in issue 208 , which attempts to give voice to a new writer in order to snub MW, and in hindsight has become completely disjointed and unreadable as an 'article' on TNA's PPV. Claiming that the magazine has prestige in whom it hires, they hired an average joe to write in order to prove something which discredited the sole piece. The Editor should be ashamed to have allowed that to go out to print. For someone claiming they aren't like the WWE in elitist principals, they don't realise they are exactly that. Ego does not fit in the publishing world as wrestling would have it.

John Laurinaitis won the Slammy, whom couldn't accept for some reason, this being Punk's reasoning for the mannequin

Presenting the Divalicious Slammy of the Year, none other than one of the greatest ever, Lita!

I wonder where the word Divalicious came from? Everyone knows where an "alicious comes from" mainly Rileylicious, which WWE still haven't dropped properly! So, are WWE choosing to f**k with me? Seems that way. How sad. My 'ramblings' are creative advice, constructive and help talent to get across because the office has lost its way. Yet they use this writer as a form of research and ideas, which have been encorporated, on screen. It's fine if you give back. Waltham hasn't recieved anything yet... Never did I think McMahon was scared of anyone, let alone an intuative ... ! Scared that the product could actually be good if one was on board? X

Back to the Slammy's. So, who would claim it? Natalya and the double sharpshooter on Eve and Layla, Kelly Kelly defeating Brie Bella for the Unified Diva's title, Kharma destroying and retiring Michelle Mc Cool and Beth Phoenix glamslamming Eve from the top rope.

The winner - Bimbo Bimbo when she killed off the Women's division by defeating the last remaining Women's Champion, Brie Bella.

Natalya and Phoenix instantly arrived, on cue, Beth snatched the Slammy, claimed she was "Diva of the year", before Bimbo Bimbo, a babyface, chose to attack Phoenix by slapping her around the face, unprovoked. If ever there was a true joke, this was it. Babyfaces do not attack for no reason, let alone at all. Another discredit proving the Women's division is dead to BB's forces striking again. WWE should be ashamed. With an unbiased view, anyone can see Phoenix claimed it, yet WWE chose to disrespect the viewing public, in order to make sure the dire KK had something to put her name too, because she has absolutely nothing to contribute as an entity.

Santino and the Bella's then introduced after a comedy intro of "ohm-g!", the OMG moment of the year, comprised of HHH tombstoning the Undertaker (WM 27), a rock bottom on Cena also at WM 27, Superstars walk out on C.O.O. HHH, and Punk taking the WWE Title at MITB. Triple H, naturally, claimed the Slammy.

Instantly HHH returned to the arena, with sledghammer in tow. Flaunting the "epic" match, H would go on to state that the Undertaker being unable to walk out of mania thanks to HHH means this was the OMG moment henceforth. Then addressing Kevin Nash in prepartion to the TLC PPV this Sunday, (18th). This Sunday, HHH claimed it "didn't matter who was right or wrong" then said he would climb the ladder and gain the sledgehammer because he was "right". Right about what, exactly?

HHH also refused the Slammy from Santino. (Plans are being discussed for another UT v HHH match at WMania. This is going to be pointless once again, Can it, and find a new challenger. Not Kane, it needs to be a fresh opponent (therein may lie the problem). Jericho would also be a fine option.

It got worse. David Otunga presented the next Slammy with Hall of Famer, Tony Atlas. The trending star of the year award, would be a Fatal Four Way match to see which of the four would be the most trended on social media outlet, Twitter. Yes. WWE once again relied on Twitter, however this time made a specific match to the website, devaluing the actual purpose of wrestling a match for a comeptive business aimed at achieving different goals.

It was here that Atlas went into overkill with his laughing hippo comedy routine. It served no purpose and fell flat on humourous after the second laugh. When explained he was laughing at Otunga specifically, the explanation still could not be backed up. Yes. WWE book anything they think of without thinking about it. There is no meaning which is what fans require. That is why ratings truly dip.

Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder were the four locking horns.

Some of the hottest moments came here in this match, especially the Cody Rhodes shots in pinfall attempts with Daniel Bryan. All four put on a good match, which became the best of the night by far. And yet WWE classed it as the less important to aspire to. Rhodes was the top man in this one, closely followed by Bryan.

All four delivered superb suplexes off the turnbuckles after one another. That looked beautiful.

Winner - if there was any doubt, Zack Ryder. What exactly did he win, apart from the Slammy of non importance?

Another superstar returned to the prestigous awards event. Christian arrived to present the slammy for Game changer of the year. Entering on cruthces, Christian claimed he should have been nominated for making it there in his current condition, as well as airing his disgruntled treatment, asking for "one more match", after being a two time World Champion in the space of a year. Technically it was just months apart, through no fault of his own.

The one "pivital moment that changed the WWE" (clearly a Waltham nomination was also omitted), Capt'n C blamed the WWE Universe for failure to support him in the last match opportunity he never felt he recieved.

"No one man is bigger than the WWE" - Vince McMahon.

The HHH/McMahon firing was up for offering, alongside Edge, Kevin Nash's return at MITB in which he powerbombed CM Punk after winning his first WWE Title to then lose to opportunistic cash in from Alberto Del Rio, and The Rock and John Cena's continuing saga.

To build Wrestlemania 28, The Rock and Cena won, to which Cena, as babyface, accepted the award and berated his opponent at the upcoming 'Mania in April. This was a right Slammy recieval for building momentum, however was completly implemented incorrectly. Cena would raise the hopes of fans by playing Rock's music, and then the via satellite messages that he knew weren't there. In heelish teasing fashion, Cena, a babyface who will never turn anytime soon, and especially not for 'Mania or 2012, he would choose to apologise for Team Bring It for failing to "bring It". It was meant to be a hot promo, yet Cena ruined it with the script monotone child mannerisms that failed to sell for anyone once again. He claimed that Rock and Cena at Wrestlemania 28 would be the game changer "for ever". He boldly claimed we would get Cena "at his very best". That remains to be seen...

4 of the 6 nominees would fight in Tag action. The Miz and Del Rio battled together against Punk and Orton. Cena and Henry were "upgraded". Thankfully, their particpation outside of this was its saving grace. The 4 man tag proved to be a fair match. After Miz and Del Rio worked Punk down for most of the beginning, Punk retailiated with action and a "nap time" yell attempting a GTS. Del Rio and Miz had strong tag team principals together. Punk also delivered a smooth and fluid swing neckbreaker on Miz. 

This match purposely built five stars in their match to the looming PPV, which we commend. Wade Barrett came out of nowhere to assault Randy Orton, whom was awaiting the hot tag on the apron. Shortly after this, Orton's fury gave chase to Barrett through the crowd, leaving Punk without a partner to tag in.

Shortly before, Miz would goad Orton for not getting said tag and bounced up and down in another aerobics dance workout video :) then shortly after missed a spot and landed his knackers into the turnbuckle. Ouch! Eventually Miz would redeem himself and planted the Skull Crushing Finale onto Punk for the three fall. The Miz needed back in the game, and this was a start to that.

After the finish, both men lifted a ladder together to charge at Punk and then slam it down onto him, while underneath, after an elevated aggressive slam downwards. Wounded, Punk was then locked into Del Rio's armlock whilst trapped among the ladder. Miz, on microphone had strong words for Chicago's own. They aimed to make sure Punk would make it to TLC, "'cause one of us is taking the WWE title away from you". "You're done at TLC!". As of time of writing, plans for Cena to referree Zack Ryder's US title match will someohow warrant him being in the main WWE title match on the card. WWE have no clue what to do, and cannot ever allow three different stars to elevate themselves for the company. Adding Cena will destroy any chance of making these three stars ever more stronger. WWE still seek their top heel, as both Miz and Del Rio have been downplayed by the company. With Cena added, all will fail forever. As well as the fact it wasn't scheduled/advetised.

The A-Lister of the year award came afterward. Vickie Guerrero was joined by a returning Goldust! who claimed Vickie won. Excitied for what she would recieve it for, Goldie explained she managed to wear more make up than him! "Excuse Me!!!!????!!!" 

A video clip of Kane was also shown beforehand, marking his impending return to the WWE soon. His video was just shown, so he wont return tonight, will he?

Candidates for this Slammy were, Hugh Jackman, whom supported and put all talent over when he chaperoned Zack Ryder. Jackman floored Ziggler with a stroyline jaw KO punch, which was very believable to dupe audiences on Twitter. Good job WWE! 

Joining Jackman would be the Muppets, Snooki and Cee Lo Green. All worthy, but for some reason, Green was my winner. Though I'm drawn to Jackman for many reasons.

Vickie told Goldust, "I'm opening the envelope!"

The winner? --- Snooki! Vickie's dispared eyes rolled as Goldie told us Snook sent a message. WWE were highly impressed with her training prepearing for her Wrestlemania match, in 2011. Most believe that is why she claimed a Slammy. The real reason was after she mentioned in her acceptance speech, it was "Frickin' Awesome!" and not to forget to watch, "Jersey shore, which airs in January!". WWE, so desperate to gain multi media outlets for 2012 fail to understand that wrestling levels were what it was build upon, and that the wrestling fans are the ones that should gain the priority and focus before moving into a entertainment telly/PR side of things. You already have/had an audience. Your reliance on media outlet rebranding has proven to show you have lost a good proportion of that audience, which can be reclaimed if you bother to adhere to the wrestling principals. If you don't, what reason does any wrestling fan have to continue on with a product that is moving away from the sole foundation it was built upon?

Josh Mathews interviews Mark Henry.

Next match... Sheamus entered... Jinder Mahal followed, speaking in his mother tongue. Then he provided translation right after. As he walked to the ring, Mahal claimed he would enter a Slammy winning performance. As soon as he stepped in the ring, Sheamus delivered a Brogue Kick which floored Mahal instantly. The match was declared over. Sheamus left. Sheamus did NOT even COVER Mahal for a three fall properly. Absolutley ludicrous, not to mention pointless for Mahal. There wasn't a need to book this match. Another reason WWE has lost sight with its viewership. Just don't book it. Neither person won here.

Presenting Slammy for Superstar of the year was... Rey Mysterio! Rey was met with loud chants of "Sin Cara". "Performing for you is the greatest honour" Rey stated. We agree. Though WWE's script on Rey didn't sell with passion as should be intended, surely?

Rey announced the names. Randy Orton, The Miz, CM Punk, then he paused for lengthy time and biasedly disgruntedly mumbled in hatred murmur, Alberto Del Rio, before naming Mark Henry and John Cena also.

The fact Rey, aiming to keep feud going yes, lost his accuracy in unbiased portrayal was a bad decision. Rey, who had beef with Miz and Punk, kept impartial. Even issues with Henry were there. Yet this portrayal for ADR actually did not sell him. It also highlighted Rey's comeback feud. Sparodicly the matches are fine, though everyone is sick and tired of Rey/Del Rio being milked to a point where it falls of its hind legs and has no gumption to carry it any further. Cena/Orton/HHH in your achives would be a good example to explain for you.

Among any doubt, CM Punk picked up the gong for Superstar. Clearly, the most talked about star over the year would win. Though the actual superstars were either Orton or Del Rio. Orton's 5 star work ethic in excellent matches, as well as Del Rio's breakthrough year of Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Money In The Bank and WWE title victories outshone all else.

Del Rio, love or loathe, clearly bagged it. WWE's stalling of him cost the top heel spot it has desired. If they put the World title on him at Wrestlemania, he would have been exactly that by now. Respecting Edge to leave as champ was their decision. Edge should have proved ever more the professional by losing the title, setting a new star up and proving, with this action, that he truly was a wrestling great for the business. He would have been respected greatly. That didn't happen.

John Laurinaitis arrived. Couldn't get there earlier? The Universe assumed he wasn't there. Yet broke that in revealing him till last. If he won a Slammy earlier, he would have picked that up. This was a stupid move. Johnny took Punk's Slammy in return. Pointless. 

WWE's returns video aired again. (post is coming soon on that).

Jennifer Gantini, a mother and wife from Virginia, whom works in Afghanistan for the troops of the US, had her son and husband in attendance to honour her. We thought it was a good touch, but clearly we know why it was broadcast.... If McMahon made rightful decisions for the product as he claims then I would be able to "throw my arms around him". His ego seems to believe WW dislikes him personally. You would be wrong. We just cannot condone certain illogical ideologies surrounding wrong people in the right spots. 

Alas, onto the main event. Mark Henry would face John Cena. After a boring match with no real relevance and just to fill time, shortly into it, an explosion happened! Shocking nonetheless, a moments pause, darkness came and the fire burned! Kane returned! Mark Henry, the man who shelved The Big Red Machine looked immensly petrified. Making sure his knees didn't buckle as he left the ring to the outside, Cena, in ring turned around as Kane had entered. The masked monster, dressed in a welder's mask, (Flashdance is ever appropriate), chokeslammed John Cena! To no explanation at all, WWE have also moved Kane, a Smackdown! superstar to Raw, in the hope to launch someone who has lived out his usefullness as a main event star since his years ago in the company, is being pushed towards matches with Cena. As much as we like Kane's character in parts, it is the standard Henry/Show practise. Put the mask back on and just run with it. No explanations, which will soon fall flat on its backside. 

Kane is a Smackdown! superstar, yet WWE will break its own parametered walls once again, because it is desperate for new stars when it fails to understand that it could have created them yet chose not to, and now realise there is a struggle. Fans want new stars, not the old ones. Living in the past does not make worthwhile decisions for the public. Are they really willing to pay for this product when the big veterans who have become stale and outdated are the top of the bill? No. They come to see Del Rio using an armbar or Orton's RKO. They cheer for a knee to the face with a GTS.

With no reasoning to why Kane has returned, it is a shoddy choice many refuse to be a part of. Why are there so many streams on Can you honestly expect the WWE Universe to pay hard earned cash for something they feel is cheap, has bad end result decisions to match endings and feuds not created, favourite stars undeveloped or bumped to Superstars or NXT, and extortionate prices for a bad card line up for wrestling principals?

All winners were babyfaces, not one feud was enhanced, and no victor was someone who was deserving, which is what the event was meant to be. Clearly WWE have lost touch with what this three hour event's aims were. To keep the audience going as well as feel rectified that a bleak 2011 would be the past and 2012 would deliver a new essence to a future with promise and intent to change the product a better way forward fans can support. The Royal Rumble is your chance to change it all once again and get back on course. Giving the wrong person the win, as well as not setting up a number of performers will be costly on all levels. You seriously need to look towards the future. Fans are irate, and losing patience. How long will it take before realising long term plans being kept for Wrestlemania can also be too long when the position of the company's non existent stars are turning viewers away from the lead up to the biggest extravaganza in WWE's calendar.

ps. With the redesign of the Womens/Diva's divison and feeding Punk some material for his lines after his initial promos, among words, angles and support to constructive advice to re developing as a star, giving Eve a role and keeping Alicia Fox in employment for the time being,  Max Waltham clearly should've won Slammy for game changer of the year - just to let you know :p, as well as Divalicious of the year. Of course, one sets the Trends, others copy, they just don't acknowledge, but I know... and I mention. Because unlike most of the players in the business, I have true passion for it. (If only I had a promotion...). Anyone need a booker? :)

Until then...  do whatever you like, I'm tired, work harder than you know and need rest. But more is coming... Still have 4 posts coming in days as well as TLC review! Follow, share, comment, subscribe, Tweet me, @MaxWaltham , Yadda Yadda...

Max X

© Max Waltham 17th December 2011

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