Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Waltham's Winter Wonderland: Merry Christmas!





Waltham's Wonderland 


To celebrate Christmas this year we've decided to give you all a little sneak peek into 'Waltham's Wonderland' where we had some interesting festivities. Enjoy and Happy Christmas!



Sweet Randall filled our stockings. Some sticky candy canes and a 
pull of his cracker. Good start to the morn. 



Later on we popped out to make a snowman in 
our back garden.




Then we jetted off to the alpine with Jessie for a ski session. 
Ooh, let's get piste!




Looking into the night sky, one shining bright elf shone in the 
distance, below a twinkle among the stars.




CM Punk cooked our dinner as only a champion could. 
He got into the festivities too :)





Only for Kane to burn our Christmas Pud!





Cheeky Miz started to tease us under the miz-letoe.... 




Every Christmas needs a Ho Ho Ho-eski!
We're steering clear of this thorny bush!





Damien charmingly delivered a lovely pressie whilst whispering 
those beautiful words, You're Welcome! Ahhh. Such a wise gentleman.






Austin Aries soon ended our jam packed adventure taking us back to his
idyllic winter zone. It was fast on the back of that sleigh,
but what a beautiful view it was.


Merry Christmas one and all. More coming in the new year, and please do not steal these images, though if you wish to share, fine, make sure you credit. All hand made by and copyrighted to © Max Waltham, 2012.



© Max Waltham 25th December 2012
All Rights Reserved




Thursday, 20 December 2012

WWE Slammys 2012



WWE Slammy Awards 2012



Live from Philadelphia came the Slammy Awards, WWE’s most prestigious awards ceremony in pro wrestling. On December 17th 2012 the results of the evening were in, and awards handed out. It would be different this year however, because you can ONLY vote on the WWE App. You “must” get this app we were told. Numerous complained about the App not working, and the votes, already predetermined, had been rigged! Great start, WWE.

The show began with a match, where Damien Sandow lost to Sin Cara in a fair opener.
Booker T was up next to present the Tell Me, I did not, just, see that... award.




Nominations are – The Brad Maddox Low Blow to Ryback (HIAC) 18 seconds Daniel Bryan losing World title to Sheamus (WM) Kofi Kingston’s miracle save of stupidity on handstand elimination to re-enter the Royal Rumble match, (RR) , The Rock gets Punk’ed, with CM Punk turning and attacking The Great One (Raw1000) 




 The Slammy goes too….

The Boogeyman! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Run and hide! The Boogeyman returned to Raw. What a shocker! The biggest shock would come next, as Boogey entered and Booker T’s eyes were shocked in the corner at podium keeping distance, WWE went to a commercial break. 
Hilarious. After years of absence and a grand return, WWE cut it off.

We don’t know what happened afterwards and he has mysteriously disappeared. 

The Slammy was awarded to Kofi Kingston! Yeah… Punk’s turn or Bryan’s extreme talking point as well as Brad’s shock lost to a handstand in a comedy moment. We were supposed to believe the WWE Universe vote for this. OK, we can see that potential logic.



Brad Maddox popped up!

Kaitlyn had a random two min job with Eve. WWE’s PG version of Barbarella posed for a picture next to Katy-lyn’s body on the floor, out of it. Tasteful.

The Comeback Slammy, which will have numerous options next year, was presented by, The New Age Outlaws. Wow, they are back on screen. For those who don’t know who they are, Billy Gunn and Road Dogg were two of the original members of supergroup D-Generation X and held tag team structure among their time in 1997 and beyond.

The candidates for the Sammy were - Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, D-Generation X, Jerry “The King” Lawler 

We have respect for King and his return. We really do and glad he is all well and good. 

However, King did not have a wrestling comeback. He almost died. Though, in WWE, with Vince, as we all know, ANY angle is available for transmission. The Comeback award is for someone who makes a wrestling comeback, not revived from a heart attack, no offence, King.
OK we could see logic in this WWE Universe sympathy vote based on emotional connection.
Another surprise was filled in this ceremony. Kofi Kingston defeated the mass machine Tensai in roughly two minutes, with mass ease. It was a ridiculous strategy for WWE to choose after seeking Tensai to come back to the company to help change its product outlook in some way. Tensai may still be paying for Ryback-gate,, which saw Ryback, the chosen one, unable to lift the heavy Tensai and blamed the former Lord for “sandbagging” him. The fact was Ryback, the great star he is, couldn’t lift his opponent. Ryback was even unprofessional in the ring, drawing attention and shouting at Tensai for ‘messing up.’ Someone else is always at fault when your mishap occurs. That is the natural order in WWE land.

Wade Barrett returns to beat down Kingston after the match for losing the last night and failing to gain the intercontinental championship for champ Kingston. 

The next Slammy was due.

Kiss of the year.

Oooh! Did one help inspire this fullfillmet? You’re Welcome!

Classy lady Vickie Guerrero presented this one.

The nominees were AJ kissing the face off Kane, AJ planting a pecker on Daniel Bryan, AJ for smooching CM Punk, and AJ for snogging John Cena. 

You go girl! The WWE Universe were in hysterics at “slutty” “slut of the year AJ” Well, Kelly Kelly has moved on.

The Slammy went too… AJ! Her partner in crime was WWE’s scandal ridden Casanova, John Cena.

AJ after accepting her award punced on Ziggler and kissed him, in front of Vickie too!  "Noooooooooooooooooooo!" she screamed in disbelief as Dolph didn't stop her.

Tipped for future success by some fans, Dolph chose to no sell the smacker on the lips. 

Up next was the Superstar of Year which gave a “Wooooooooo!” with a special guest after the break. Ric Flair was coming. Tell people to tune in if you’re not watching, quick. We already knew Ric was on his way, but WWE kept it well hidden from as almost everyone they could.  The audience online,at home and in attendance though, had no clue, either.


Wooooooooooo! Flair is back!
The superstar of the Year is John Cena. Yes. Cena, who was injured and off TV for long periods and not very influential at all, beat all competition, including WWE Champion for, how many days now? CM Punk. Fans felt this an injustice. 


Somehow, "for the third year running" John Cena
is superstar of the year once more.
Cena came out to praise as ever the Nature Boy. Typical, yes. After Cena’s adoration for the legend passed he told the two time Hall of Famer he should be taking the award, not Cena. Absurdly, Flair proceeded to accept the award! 

CM Punk lept to the rescue strolling out in disbelief. “Atrocious” he called the behaviour. After trading some words, and some great interactions on the mic, with Paul Heyman giving a fabulous “Wooooo” Flair told Punk he could still go and aimed to settle any grievance in the ring. Are we really going to see this oldie but goodie wrestle? Are the WWE Universe ready for this?

I really don’t want to see Ric Flair have a AAA in the ring, and I’m not talking Lucha style!  
Punk, still injured, used a crutch to jab and slam the returning veteran. Sporting a “Knees 2 faces” tee shirt (Popular prhase this time of year, isn’t it?”  Punk then received an eye poke from the “Dirtiest player in the game.” Tailing to the outside, Naitch grabbed the leg of henchman Heyman and sipped on the Figure 4Leg lock submission. Woooooooooooooooo!

Flair then reminisced he “just came to have a good time.”  “Jerry Lawler, I love you buddy. They aint never gunna lose me and you my friend. I told Vince if I die, die right here, with a woman from Philadelphia.” Flair still maintains his charm. 



Sirens blazed around the arena. Oh No! The Shield were coming. 

JBL said Flair should be leaving now. Of course, Ric couldn't hear the announce desk and chose to remain. He even casually said “Come on down boys.”

Flair was about to be seemingly decimated. As the bad boys approached, Team Hell No arrived on the scene to support the ledge. Ambrose decked Flair in the confusion, as his cohorts began dismantling the table at ringside. Surely someone will save him? Who could it be. Of course, it will be John Cena, he saves everyone. 

The purple wearing attired hero arrived. It was Ryback! Still dressed in purple matching attire to John Cena’s former self, now in a leotard fashion, came to save the day. Rollins took another table smash two nights running from Ryback, after TLC, and now as Ryback flung him down on the table, as Rollins literally bounced.

It was unbelievable. Yes, unbelievable, not epic, just crazy that people cannot still get on board with the Ryback character, clad in Cena matching attire and same approach with no interest and never shaking chants of “Goldberg!” WWE need to can it and sort it out pronto if to establish their reputation. This turns people off from what was a fairly good segment.

Flair was raised onto the shoulders of Kane, Bryan and Ryback after they cleared The Shield out. 

Flair’s return ran into four commercial breaks. Returning from the last break, was backstage with Bryan and Kane as they all yelled Yes, No and Woo over one another. Ron Simmons was around and stumbled on them, pausing, unwanting to but could not fathom the theatrics and expressed himself. “Damn!”

Brodus Clay and his dancers came out for a match, against JTG. He was checking out the view from the outside of Cameron and Naomi. Clay wasn’t happy with this and soon finished JTG off in minutes.

Santino Marella and Tensai came to present the next Slammy as Tensai tripped on his way out, almost falling over. He had a bandage on his head so ridicuolous that looked like Shrek, the ogre. This was WWE’s intention.



Full of shocks, tonight, Tensai, like Hornswoggle, found his vocal chords. Marella made references to Tensai, and claimed in translation, it meant “Fat Albert.” Yep, they finally caved in and acknowledged the chants that stalked Tensai. We can only wonder when Ryback will be revealed.

They went on to present the LOL moment of the year Slammy.

The choices were - The Rock’s history lesson, throwing Cena merchandise into a river. Team Hell No’s Anger Management issues. Randy Orton backstage in catering over nailing coffee and hot chilli over Ricardo Rodriguez intended for Alberto Del Rio, whilst then slamming Matt Striker’s face into a cake and Vickie Guerrero dancing.

Orton’s nomination was not a LOL moment in the slightest. If WWE feel this is their best comedy, they are behind. The Universe felt there was one clear winner, though anger management failed to scop the slammy. Neither did the expert dane off with Vickie Guerrero’s hot moves against Brodus Clay. 

The Rock won the Slammy. WWE felt obligated to give him one. The Rock will be on TV over the next few months and wrestling at Royal Rumble and in the Elimination Chamber with a run up to Wrestlemania. Rock’s history lesson was an excellent promo, but it was not in the least funny. It was an excellent promo. 

Unfortunately, as the “WWE Universe” chose the winner, not WWE, of course, to set up a Wrestlemania beginning, The Rock wasn't in attendance to accept. Not even “Via Satellite.”
Sin Cara’s music plays. (!) Daniel Bryan charges out and says he should have won and it was his Slammy after Santino attempted to take it for himself. Kane came out, as fans felt he would argue it was his Slammy, though he sparred us this pain and whisked Bryan up and carried the erratic Bryan off.

Tensai reformed back into Albert, something WWE wanted to avoid and then realised had no choice as everyone was strong at following Albert. Though its choice to destroy his momentum was baffling, especially after it sought him and new attempts to create stale stars for every department of WWE structure to prop up its ailing walls.

Fat Albert. Is that a sexy piercing nickname?

Sin Cara and Cody Rhodes begin their match in ring. Lighting goes down. Sandow seen. Rey also at ringside. Rhodes win. Fin.



Approach the last few Slammy’s was the Trending now # of the year

Layla and Zack Ryder presented this one. Layla’s vocals were a laugh. She tripped a few words, and Ryder was simply a goon. He was nominated. You think he will win, then?

The nominees for the hashtag symbol that trended the most, which WWE continually make up. Have you noticed how they say something is trending worldwide, yet it hasn’t made the trend list when you look directly at the Twit list of trends? Nevertheless, the Slammy was for either…
FeedMeMore, PeoplePower, LittleJimmy, or WWWYKI

The winning hash was FeedMeMore. What a surprise. “The WWEUniverse” ‘voted’ for Ryback, a man that has not been over whatsoever and booed and likened to another superstar who has tasted glory at the highest peak, as a # trend. Most people did not use that hashtag, but, this is WWE. Ryback is quite big there these days from inside. How’s Sheamus doing?



After this debacle, the Big Show arrives, with a over grown chair from the previous TLC. 

Michael Cole told us to “look what he is dragging to ring. Walking gingerly to the ring.”

Ooohh. ‘Michael Cole’ loves using that “gingerly EVERY single time when Big Show enters, doesn’t he? ‘Michael Cole’ can seemingly only use the same word, in the same context, for the same scenario, EVERY single time. “I don’t like when people over repeat themselves.” (Bryan, D: 2012) 

WWE's most dominant star was booed out of the building, whilst met with a lukewarm opponent aiming to build them up to no reaction Sheamus took out Show.

Dummy nation favourite Dolph Ziggler cheaply charged out with his briefcase. Wasn’t the same level of interest when Daniel Bryan was in the same scenario last year. Some instantly got excited. Ooooh, this is it! John Cena stormed the ring and clotheslined Ziggler, then viciously shoving him into the barricade outside. Ziggler didn’t get started, so, technically holds on to his case. WWE book it the same way, every time. They do not know how to make it different. The same players are always involved, too, with just one briefcase holder as a different selected input yearly. We take it back. WWE do know how to do comedy. Ziggler constantly remains a jobber joke.

3MB said they would sing live on Raw. Alberto Del Rio and The Miz stopped this and did something with them. People weren’t really interested. Miz/Rio is fine, but 3MB are not. Slater, however, has the most options of the three.

Vickie and Dolph argued about the kiss with AJ how her input at TLC was managed by Ziggler.  He denied seeking her involvement. Vick was well annoyed. So much so she booked Dolph and new squeeze AJ in a match against John Cena and... Vickie Guerrero! Oh, it, is on!
A repeat from last night’s impromptu match at TLC with 3MB, saw Miz and Del Rio, now honourable forces in the WWE Universe, challenge 3MB. It’s all getting a bit repetitive, isn’t it? They found a third mystery partner. Unlike last night, it would not be the Brooklyn Brawler. It was Tommy Dreamer! Unfortunately it wasn’t our hoping of Doink the Clown.



Jinder Mahal was very sloppy on his knee drops. Drew was slow and tired. Heath, whatever. Bertie got tagged in. Cleared house on Slater and Drew. Del Rio whomps a fierce superkick. Mahal breaks up. “Destiny!” Jump up enziguri follows. Rio needs to loose the Destiny chant if he is refreshing character. Most fans didn’t like that before as his only statement. Alby looks to guest of the night Tommy Dreamer who wants the tag in. Rio gives it. Dreamer drops a DDT on Slater. Covers with a three fall. Crowd cheer hometown hero.


The Miz gave some beautiful Open Legs tonight. 
Sheamus returned to present Slammy for Newcomer of the year.

Half of these categories are implementations of our Wrestling Wonders End of Year Award, it would seem. There isn’t no “Divalicious” award this year. You know where that comes from. Click here – Wrestling Wonders End of Year Awards 

The newcomers were announced. Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Ryback, and Antonio Cesaro.

The “WWE Universe” voted again. ‘They’ chose Ryback.

Antonio Cesaro was miffed at the selections and told everyone what was really on our minds. “Voting is rigged!” he expressed, after he failed to receive recognition also.Well, what can we say, it’s the “WWE Universe.”



Cesi said he was the “True newcomer of the year. Stronger than Ryback. Smarter. I am a champion.”

Ryback still can’t shake “Goldberg” chants.

They had a brief encounter, which shouldn't have happened  Ryback doesn't deserve Cesaro's level of competition. 

Neutraliser. Bodydrop. Spinebuster. Arm pumping fist. Cesaro outside leave. Lifted up and over ropes into ring, leaving other side.  

Mean Gene Okerlund. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and “JR” Jim Ross presented the final Slammy of the evening for Match of the year.

JR mentioned that “all deserving” were the candidates, which clearly states that at least one is bound to be a joke insertion, despite expert attempts to sell them all.

Undertaker/Triple III (WM) Brock Lesnar/John Cena (Extreme Rules) Sheamus/Big Show (Hell in a Cell) The Rock/John Cena (Wrestlemania)

So good they nominated him twice. The Slammy went to Undertaker/ Triple H.

The Game then strode to the podium to accept the award. His retirement lasted long. Trips has got a sexy new haircut, so why not show it off! After using this to get back on TV for a few mins, Hunter leaves a parting note of The Undertaker “Not seen the last of The Undertaker.” He’ll be back at Royal Rumble. As for Triple H, who at Undertaker/Triple II at Wrestlemania, agreed to retire as per stipulation, returned to fight Brock Lesnar this year in the autumn. He agreed to retire after losing to Lesnar. We shall see if this holds up. Until then, Triple h is passing through. 
The Shield backstage attack Tommy Dreamer. It’s what he is there for. Resident mauling machines. Ricardo Rodriguez from nowhere springs to the scene to ask them to stop. The basis of this reason was unknown and unobvious. He was hurled into the garage shutter for his 
involvement.  



Kick in back of Dreamer as they left, where Tom gave a whimper of pain was an excellent sell.

Nymph AJ skips to the ring for the final match of the evening. 


She sits atop the hugest of ladders. After all else arrive, Vickie and AJ scramble until AJ leaves. Vickie at a loss decides to let the boys duke it out instead. Yes, this tag inter-gender match up was over in less than a few minutes. Why book when they were the whole part of the formation for the match? Blame the “WWE Universe” we don’t know anymore what to pin it on. It’s what they are there for, anyway.



AJ arrives from the back in surprise soon after as Dolph and Cena are still at it, but AJ has got some big bulky beefcake with her. Who is this? An assault from Big E Langston was launched on John Cena. The announce desk, namely Michael Cole were flapping around with glee telling us it was another guy from NXT that the “WWE Universe” responded  how WWE are expecting them to know who this random is on our screens if we don’t watch NXT. Anyway, he came out and attacked and then it ended. Lame finish to Raw with now tale for next week and no strong story interaction, not even with a beating, or whatever.



Of all the people they call up, the terrible calamity of brick muscle Big E Langston was their choice. Why don’t WWE learn? 






WWE went all out to restore faith in its product and the Slammy’s started that. The first parts of the show were tedious and stalling. Then returns boosted the show somewhat. Then the piqued interest peaked with mediocrity once again. They finished with nothing and even though he’s terrible, didn’t even give a new call up to TV a solid introduction. 




Humourously, WWE finds itself in the same problem once again. Fans instantly took to twitter to inform that the new stars of brick muscle with no skills, who is black, was dubbed “Ryblack” Not my words… Looks like Eddie Murphy from Beverley Hills Cop! 


WWE have Mark Henry returning soon as a babyface. Langston is a shoe in for a match programme, surely, in WWE’s standards.


How it gets past Ryblack with Ryback as Goldberg will be the biggest challengers. WWE have opened its floodgates again with daft decisions, just as it was attempting to restore the faith in fans worldwide. One suggestion, while we’re at it, that you’re open to, ditch the three hour Raws, they aren’t working. Also, get Langston off my tele while you’re at it before it begins. Now is the most crucial time not to mess with your audience, if ever.



You’re Welcome!




© Max Waltham 20th December 2012
All Rights Reserved


Wednesday, 19 December 2012

TLC 2012




WWE TLC 2012


Live on Pay Per View, Sunday 16th December 2012, from the Barclays Centre in Brooklyn, New York, TLC: Tables Ladders and Chairs provided its final instalment of the year card, notorious lately for pulling a rare pleasing end to the year played out before us. Would TLC delivers its reputation, or dismally conclude a tiresome format? 



Tables

Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes Vs Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara


Little limp and slow going. Same repeat matches have this effect. Mysterio blown up before launch onto Rhodes outside. Sandow Irish whip, Cara down with high spot though both competent  Threw into Sandow and wall. Cody/Rey then inside against one another.

Table Cody Rey top play then sees a smash of the wooden apparatus, namely the table,  table into Rey’s head. Enziguri by Cara. Flip over punch, Rhodes launch to Damien Sandow and nailed kick.

You're Welcome!

Cheaply nailing Cara into table in split second. Made RhodesScholars look ridiculous, not even given a good end win. They needed one. Launch by Cody Rhodes to shove Cara through table in perfect fall to outside, which both sold well, especially Cara.

Forget Rhodes Scholars they are Packing Moustache!

United States Championship

Antonio Cesaro (c) Vs R-Truth 

Cesaro dominated early on in a good rematch battle from last month, after some may have felt they could not get a second match to equal their first. They both pulled it off expertly for a standard US title match, filled with mid-level card support. Cesaro will go on to bigger things later on. Right now, his time is perfectly donated to raising prestige, status and mid card challengers rebuilding them as solid performers, while the heavyweight scene is convoluted. Soon enough. Within  a year. Doesn’t need to be rushed when booked strongly.  R-Truth gave a comeback in the match which highlighted potential at a good level of opposition, but still not enough to topple beefy Cesaro. Though when Cesaro isn’t champion, as well as multi matches, R –Truth and the mid-level supporting cast will be improved on and competent status.

Antonio soon tentatively lifted the powerful, slow motion, heavy hitting Neutraliser. Antonio Cesaro gained the three fall and maintained US title rights. They had less than ten minutes; however was a fair and consistent effort that did not drag the PPV.

Matt Striker conducted another ground breaking interview. It was with the Big Show, just as last year’s HIAC/Survivor Series/ TLC build up with Mark Henry played out. Thrilling.

Superpower. Greatest US Champ in history. "By booing me your booing you own country." Cesi explains. BOOYA! "Don't Boo Me, You shouldda been booyin' yaselves!"

Qi-lingual Cesaro silenced his critics in the ring. He went on to speak in a foreign language in an expert promo. “und gebt mir paar Eisw├╝rfel.” The audience were perplexed to understand. Priceless. In defiance. We’d love ice with that!



Dolph Ziggler soon took a skit. Dolph provided a fantastic promo of humour for the WWE Universe. He said – “Everything changes. The biggest star of 2013” in reference to himself, of course. He does give a good laugh.

The Miz burst out onto our screens for another episode of Miz TV. On a PPV. Miz TV. On a PPV. Well, I guess we need to fill the time.

Randy Orton and The Miz were both removed from action. You could’ve made a super hot team with the pair of them, and still can.

Oh dear! Its’ jobber nation. Whats worse? On a PPV or a beat down of The Miz by the three man band (3MB.)

JBL made a crack about the Village People as the band.

Miz did the ol’ “Really?” thingy.”

“Yes, really Miz” frontman Heath Slater responded.

The Rolling Stones must wish they could rock out with 3MB, surely?

The group soon attacked the Spanish Announce Table. Those poor SAPs.  Ricardo Rodriguez baffling appeared to reason with the band of bullies. Alberto Del Rio sprang to the defence of his loyal servant after the band battered him instead.

They then beat down on Alberto. Yes, folks, Alberto Del Rio is now an honourable man. Miz spared 3MB. Miz gave no save whilst looking on. Miz eventually attacked to support Rio. Slater then called for a ref. They told Rio and Miz to seek a partner for some three way tag action. They agreed.

Miz told them “You three? Not a problem. We’ll find a partner.”

Backstage now, Daniel Bryan mentions he can’t stand people repeating over and over.

Wade Barrett says something in an unrelated, different location away from them. Yes, WWE have multiple stars backstage in different areas. Who’d have thought it?

He mentioned the Wildcat Kofi Kingston, who had never been apparent as the Wildcat before and WWE just slipped it in one time on Raw two weeks ago. Now he’s the Wildcat, folks. Barrett, to his credit, could not be more boring in his delivery.


Intercontinental Championship

Wade Barrett Vs Kofi Kingston (c)

Crowds don’t want Barrett or Ziggler. They want change and realise they the only ones to make that point in WWE approval. #TLC striking out

The wildcat soon launched, with a dive into the ring, and out again, which was great.

Barrett stretching Kofi. Kofi back out with kicks and turn around into whirl backbreaker from Wade with two kick out. Wade turnbuckle elbow. Two fall.

Kofi is in desperate need of heel turn. I said it a year ago. One year on, would’ve had more stead now as a force than now as face. Kofi remains as a likeable, shortcoming trapped in mid-level status.

The crowd were divided equally, which was somewhat encouraging.

Cross body, rolled through by Wade to a two fall followed. Barrett disputes with referee of three count confusion. Kofi rolled over as possum. Barrett returns  with a slamming two fall. Kofi caught Barrett’s follow up attack. Kofi Kingston soon nailed Barrett and silenced him for IC title capture, to retain the gold.

Darling CM Punk strode out as WWE Champion to the “Slums of Staten Island” to explain his non-defence of championship tonight. He told the duldrums of the slums they were just as common as Ryback. Truthfully reiterating the crowd had “Never won anything in your entire life.” Labelling them “Dumb. Apologies for being crass but stating facts. Dumb and lucky. Injured me to point where I can’t compete” in reference to Ryback hurting Punk prior to TLC defence of WWE champsionship that very evening. Punk added he was the “Most dangerous man, you want to put a weapon in my hand?” Does he ever need a weapon to conduct a beating?

Aiming to “separate the two, fact and fiction.” Ooh someone is planning on giving one an intellectual literary orgasm!  He finished anticlimactically as “Longest reigning champ of the modern era.”


6 man TLC Tag match

Kane and Daniel Bryan and Ryback Vs Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

The first ever six man TLC match was about to begin. No count outs, DQ’s and pinfalls, Justin Roberts explains. Yadda Yadda.

The Shield morphed the Right to Censors siren entrance with a gritty cops style beat. Hardcore! Ryback, who was inserted to main event status due to Punk’s injury and Cena affiliation the last two months, bolted out. The Cena shadow mimicked his purple attire with armbands and exact look and style of Cena. It was hilarious.

Through the crowd came The Shield. Exciting! We understand their vest attire and all that, but, we need all three of these stripped to tight speedo pants soon. Not short pants or long ones. Speedo style. On all three. Ambrose in green. Rollins in gold/black half and half with trim to match hair and Reigns in light form of dark blue. You’re Welcome!



Instant attacks by faces started. Ambrose unloads on Ryback. No effect.*sigh* Single drop downs lame. Flip over Ambrose and work down over expressive chants of “Goldberg.” The Ryback formula isn’t working… When will you realise?

Ladder smashing down on two Shielders by Ryback. Reigns save with chair assault. Kane intercepts. Team Hell No clothesline into ladder corner of Reigns, clothesline to dropkick by Bryan. Change, Bryan smashed by Ambrose. Kane fists Rollins. Turnbuckle jump down attempt. Trapped in between ladder from Kane on Rollins. Boring chants.

Ryback ladder obtained. Picks up Roman Reigns. Dean Ambrose gives a double suplex onto ladder proving a constant liability. His deliverance was poor, and catastrophic. In recent months Ryback has come close to possible injuring stars like Sheamus, Brad Maddox, Big Show and these two.  WWE need damage control. He still doesn’t know how to work. Ironically, CM Punk does. :D

Needs to be pulled and sorted out with position and deliverance before you get in too deep. The earlier it’s dealt with, the better the long run. Longer left and, well, two words for ya. John Cena. No, that’s not a positive.

Roman Reigns slams ladder down on Ryback. Reigns dismantles SAP table. Tough break tonight. The beefy Tyler Reks replacement roars! Grrrr! Triple powerbomb coming up. The Shield hoist Ryback atop the shoulders and smash him down into the table. Ryback has been granted a leave of absence in this match for ten minutes to avoid his ruining of the structure and development of stars. Wise.

Bryan and Kane restore themselves. Ambrose charges back in with a devastating scoop slam with chair on the back of Bryan as slammed down on his back. It was a tough and beautiful implementation to a new style.

Set table on top ropes of corner. Bryan chin first into wedge. Ouch! D Bry then hoisted atop the table. Rollins and Ambrose both on top of table set on turnbuckle high. The anticipation mounts. Both superplex Bryan of the top to a raucous crowd of intrigue. Reigns takes a two fall after Kane saves his partner. Kane now goes onto the table. Another one?  JBL states “a mauling” as they attempt to put Kane through one as well. Kane manages to stir to and combat The shield, sending Rollins out to the floor around the ring. H then clocks Ambrose with the flying clothesline. Finishing with a splash dive and sideslam on Reigns for a two fall only.

Ambrose saved. Chair set up. Kane reverses and slams a Chokeslam through chair. Kane cover. Reigns broke fall count. Chair obliterated to pieces. Outside, a devastating charge into barricade by RR to Kane. Then sectioning off Kane under the rubble of apparatus of chairs and table covers. YES! Lock out of nowhere on Ambrose as Bryan back in ring action. Now on Rollins. RR save, counter, NO! Lock, as Michael Cole now reverts to after stating YES! (Take your fancy when it’s apparent, I guess) Ambrose made the save. DBry counters double suplex to chair with kicks. Rollins leg drops Bryan on head to chair.

Ryback return. Break cover of Ambrose. Rollins in to fall. Slam Reigns. RR lifted and thrown to the outside. Rollins slam. Chair centre. Ambrose punches, tackled down. Ryback charged with a clothesline from hell. How does JBL feel about that? Shell Shock on its way. Dropped Ambrose. How tedious.

Reigns and Rollins save after. Rollins out. RR and Ryback outside. Ryback charge into Reigns. Cole could not help laugh. Neither could we. Ryback was bloody awful. Ambrose halted a powerbomb attack on Rollins. The action would move towards the top of the walkway entrance up the titantron. Exhausted, but smashing Ryback, dropping ladders and jabbing chairs. Table set. Ryback placed onto it. Ladder nearby. It’s the big one, kids. Rolllins going high. Get out of way he warns his cohorts. They move. Bryan in ring seen crawling. Bit far away.

Ryback gets off table at top of titantron. Ryback climbs the ladder, as you do. Seth tries to go to next ladder, whilst on one. Launched off by clumsy Ryback through table to mass fall, and Rollins sold expertly. Ambrose and Reigns had moved back to a stirring Bryan. Ambrose sits Bryan up on Reigns, as Bryan takes the devastating and perfect powerbomb through table as Ryback crawls towards decimated Bryan in ring, expertly still as a pro, as Kane remains hidden under rubble. Finally a pro who sells. Big Show never did, twice. Now The Shield discover Rollins fate, after their pin for a three fall on a crushed Bryan. They gained the win in Rollins’ sacrifice. They upheld their comrade adorned with a victory in an outstanding match on the card and one of WWE’s best for a long time.


For those unsure, Rollins landed through a table first, but on the outside. WWE obviously insist their values to win are going through a table in the ring. Bryan went through the table in the ring. Though he was pinned. Some felt this shouldn’t have had a pin if a tables essence. Some wonder if WWE make up the rules as it goes along. “No count outs, DQ’s and pinfalls.” Roberts, J. (2012)

That’s right folks, WWE started the match saying no KO, Countouts or pinfalls. Roman Reigns put Bryan through a table in the ring and then won after a pinfall. Ryback planted Rollins through a table first, out of the ring up by the entrance ramp. *Throws hands in the air!* WWE so caught up in the moment it once again forgot its outcome handling and match principals. This was just pitiful.





Earlier in the evening a battle royal for the Diva’s title contendership was up for grabs. We predicted someone of Alicia Fox’s magnitude, though not her, would snare the win. Brodus Clay’s dancer Naomi received the nod.

Laughable in contrast, but here we go...


WWE Unified Women’s Championship

Naomi Vs Eve (c)


There she is, glitterball and all.

Despite the outlook bleak, Naomi, who we should reveal was our pick for the best option to win NXT. We don’t jump on bandwagon’s, you know this. She showed flair than the rest of the types at that time. Among her challengers on the show were Kaitlyn, who won, and AJ.



Back to the match, and damn she got some skills. We’ll enough for this ‘Divas’ division of today, but still way off a title outing. With more procuring, she may be able to claim it after a lengthy series and technique if WWE carry it forward and take careful time with it, though Eve should not be taking a long title reign, especially not near Beth Phoenix or Maryse.



Met with a very vocal crowd. Not very happy at all. Naomi gave a high leg drop. Fair side attack. Doing some Bella rope flips. Doing some skanky booty shake. Tsk. Can those. Telling Eve to bring it with gestures was good. However, Eve changed control just like that. Ground submission to mask inaccuracy. Bad follow through on running over attack flip thingy, but given WWE’s divas standards, challenger was fair and Eve was just a little thought. It was better like that for them. WWE still needs Natalya and Tamina in this mix. Its ignorance to do so will be costly.

Glad to see Cole knows a pronoun. Don’t use one he advises JBL.



Eve did some random move and cheaply won a three fall. What a waste of time everywhere.


World Heavyweight Championship

Chairs 

Sheamus Vs Big Show  (c)



Big Show arguing with front row disagrees. They didn’t like him in the match, nor as champ. They let him know. He didn’t handle it well.

You didn’t miss much in this match. Both are slowing down to catch breather spots as predicted to mask each other’s shortcomings at match quality. One’s mouth dropped to its jaw when the announce desk spoke of “battle of the gingers!” :o

Spear mid-air turnbuckle from Sheamus. Sheamus can’t even slowly fall out of ring properly. Boring!


Chair slam by Show. Fans then amused themselves with a chant. Ole Ole Ole Ole…. It’s a tune we were signing after the Brad Maddox scandal from the Ryback ‘crushing.’ Feelin’ Hot, Hot, Hot!

Glad to see the fans amusing themselves in the face of a boring match

Charge to Big Show as clambering over ropes. That’s how low babyface Sheamus, previous unmovable World champ, stoops to. Sheamus can only halt Big Show by cheap attack taking out his groin when manoeuvring over the rope climb. Sheamus was champ for half of the year. Highly amusing.

Sheamus huge lift up and White Noise/John Cena backbreaker onto chair. Some kid not even knowing what they saying chanting “We want tables.” This is what you do to these kids. They don’t even know what it means. You encourage mass bullying hypocrisy with this, because you reform the whole product to kids. This is the result. Kids who don’t understand what it’s about and random chants for the sake of shouting to seem like they are smarter or on level with the grown up kids chanting different aspects. Having a child baying for destruction is a shocking endictment and that parent needs to do a better job. Yes, I said it. How can you allow such behaviour? WWE haven’t helped either, and are increasing the bullying they sought to remove by the end of the year by aiming only to increase capital gain.

Big Show soon warbles with a double sized chair. Stupidities again. He nailed Sheamus with the extraordinary expanded chair as the announce crew state like smashing “with a billboard.”

Cena seen with AJ backstage, who has now re-adopted her CM Punk/Daniel Bryan tee shirt hopping. She worn John’s latest design.


3MB Vs Alberto w/ Ricardo Rodriguez, The Miz and Brooklyn Brawler



Mystery partner joining The Miz and Alberto was revealed. It will be Randy Orton. He isn’t booked. It’s obvious, being in New York, right?

Laughably lame for Del Rio and Miz as the Brooklyn Brawler strolled out. The hometown crowd were pleased. Seriously though, someone is going into the Hall of Fame this year.


Clearing house. Downed Heath. Drew on Brooklyn Brawler. That lasted long. Slater missed turnbuckle drop. Miz looking good and hot. Rio and Drew took to table outside. Miz and Mahal had a scuffle. Skull Crushing Finale planted by Miz. Brawler tagged in and placed Mahal into the Boston Crab. The tap out came granting The Miz, Alberto Del Rio and Brooklyn Brawler the victory in a nostalgic match.

The 3MB consist of lead rocker Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal.


Money In The Bank Ladder match

John Cena Vs Dolph Ziggler



Cena began the match by shoving Ziggs down to mat. That was the statement to affirm their stance. Both then square up and run the ropes, usually a basic move for developmental stars learning the, um, ropes. Ziggler crotch thrust show off motion was pitifully carried out.  It wasn’t sexy, nor clever.

Suplex, into corner Irish whip by Cena, Monkey flip to Ziggler. Cena smirk as hurling Ziggler out to the ring with ease.

Chair to Cena gut. Cena then brought a ladder in,  dropkicked by Ziggles. Cena back in thuds ladder into Ziggler, who is out of it. Nailed into head of Ziggler. All very haphazard and repetitive isn’t it.



Crowds deafening. If was someone other than Cena who would be cheered for change. Because it’s Cena they cheer Ziggler only for sake of gaining a ‘change’ in WWE/Wrestling, and  WWE have ‘endorsed’ Ziggler and no one else to possibly create that change in WWE. Although it won’t happen, so cut losses and move on WWE Universe and WWE. Ziiggler’s strength is mid card at best. Even though he is creating nothing and a categorical bore as Sheamus, Cena and Show before him. We all know how well they do, currently. It’s all very repetitive isn’t it?

Cena set a ladder. Knocked off of it soon enough as Zigg tries. Cena halts his options.

Trading blows back and forth. Zigg now implements a sleeper hold in another boring match that features a ladder as an ornament. Cena’s amazing strength climb with hunchback Ziggler locked on submission powers through. Cena is that powerful.

Weary Cena falling to sleep, teetered off the ladder into a table nearby as both fell through the wood. Dolph soon scrambled like a rat to the nearby ladder. Cena closes ladder with Ziggs on top, lifts ladder over with Dolph lying atop to hurl out of the ring in a powerful and reckless feat but Zigg quickly slides off. The ladder wasn’t fortunate to remain in the ring. Cena routine dropping Ziggler few times into 5 knuckle shuffle once again, though shock as Ziggler counters his attempt with a Fame Asser from Billy Gunn. (Gunn appeared on the following Raw the next evening at the prestigious Slammy Awards.) Ziggler gets a ladder in. All very repetitive, isn’t it?
 Cena charges from nowhere down on the mat to a sneaky rollup. Ooh get you Kelly Kelly! Swiftly into a submission. Puny Ziggler screaming like a girl soon taps out to mighty Cena. “Ziggler is fading.” Michael Cole accurately chips in.


Cena charges the ladder to Zigg, soon after as Dolphy Ziggers counters. Running back arm elbow on Cena as JBL states Cena’s strength is “amazing.” As they mention you need to climb a ladder, Ziggler scours a table from underneath the ring to slide in. Sets up in the corner. Caught into a slam down into 5 knuckle shuffle. Attitude Adjustment attempted then countered by Ziggler taking both down. Cena’s arm becomes clasped over Ziggs. No pin falls in this game. Dolph soon returns to his feet with a jump up, grab DDT planting Cena to the ground face first.

Spaghetti head chose to climb in the moment of disinterest losing your eyes off the screen into alternate reality. It’s all a little bit repetitive, isn’t it?

Read literally from the Waltham script in the lockerrom
on Raw just weeks prior to TLC

Cena got up to stop the charge of Ziggler unhooking the tabernackle????? Traditional blows sharing at top of ladder. Cena knocks Zigg off. Cole informs of that “Cena will become Mr Money in the Bank!” Ziggler miraculously arrives back up somehow to the behind of Cena to take him down to level on the canvas. Not enough to take him out completely. Hurls Cena into ladder, where Cena botches and misses knocking side of ladder out of line with a light tap of shoulder only. It was a terrible exchange. Ziggler went into the table as Cole says Cena went through the table. Cena shocked with a hurricanrana into the table of Ziggler. It was rather tacky how it was done. No real flair and just showing Pokecena learnt a new move. Both clash with the ladder removing it from the ring completely. Zigg dropkicked Cena who held the ladder. Dolph charged into chair in turnbuckle now,quickly set in place, then a counter with barrage of punches from charged Cena. Zig knocked off Cena from two atop the turnbuckle wearily. Launches cross body as Cena rolls through passively. Ziggler grabs chair atop Cena’s back and lashes it onto him after JBL mentioned Cena bore likeness to a god in rising style.

Running superkick missed, countered into the Attitude Adjustment. Ziggler out of ring again. Cougar Vickie Guerrero charges in and picks up a chair. Cena laid out, Vick is about to smash helpless Cena until AJ arrives and downs Vickie, with a back sweep slam. AJ then throws her own five knuckle shuffle, as the crowd cheering  the beatdown on Vickie. Bouncy AJ skips around the ring. Cena climbs the ladder in an almost glorious moment to snare the dangling delight. Beaming AJ then shoves the ladder over as Cena plummets to the ground. Shock!  Extreme cheers by the crowd. Tempestuous minx AJ smiles at Dolph and skips away. AJ has reverted back to her same role as crazy chick with no direction. Dolph Ziggler ascends the steel mountain to handle his briefcase once more.  



WWE felt obligated to legitimately protect Cena by causing a screwy finish once more, as predicted, to maintain his reputation. How could he lose without losing cleanly? Will Cena ever put anyone over?


PPV Rating – 5/10

Men/Women of their matches – Sin Cara, Antonio Cesaro, Kofi Kingston, Seth Rollins, Naomi, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler

Man/Woman of the PPV - AJ


Dolph Ziggler won a nothing match. John Cena gained nothing from it. It was pointless. WWE could have inserted a new star with faith to give them the case and screw Dolph over. Let’s face it, WWE do not envisage Ziggler as a star, otherwise he would have made it by now. Ziggler can tag and mid card, but heavyweight status is out of his grasp, no matter whether he wins. He will become a flunky that will tarnish the credibility of the title. Granted, the credibility isn’t there to begin with, therefore it is important to raise it. Ziggler won’t do that.

AJ as random diva with no placing and looks good now and again as girl next door favourite is comfortably back into her role as crazy chick, kooky babe. It’s old news now. She was upgraded to GM as a manifestation of Max Waltham. WWE like to spread it around a bit in almost everyone to play games. Ole Ole Ole Ole, Feelin’ Hot, Hot, Hot….


The Shield proved to be outstanding in their debut collision. It could not have been better for them after a long time of product losing its edge. It still has mountains to go, though the show was good. Five men contributed to its success. Ryback, naturally, was a dismal failure that is still shoved down our throats. McMahon does not like his selected stars to fail in any right, akin to the John Cena star making. It won’t happen. Pull out before it’s too late. Ryback can be around other places, as for this hard main star push, it is over. No one accepts Bill Goldberg version 2 because, he isn’t even half as good as Bill. He will not lay those golden eggs and your defiance at relinquishing your push forward of ego is costing you WWE Universer’s that may choose to get on board with another option. By the time you finally push a new one out instead, the Universe will have left due to your ignorant defiance. Hanging around is costly. You’ve waited a long time to find new stars, even when they are literally under your nose. In a two to three year period none have come through. Contrast to the four years before that, none ascended, neither. That’s roughly seven years. Did anyone break a mirror? Put pride aside and hire people who can make your company successful with the talent front and back of house or WWE may not survive ten more years. Even if you want to be defiant in that statement because you simply don’t want to believe it could happen, and it can.Kane and Daniel Bryan both sold tremendously. As a pair they also became even stronger. WWE forgot how to end the match right. They forgot how a TLC match works.

Me Caveman, you woman. "Unga Bunga!"
Big Show is a joke. We are all aware. Sheamus is an even bigger one. The Irish superstar proved he was a flunkie title winner. Show is equal in this right. The World title now joins the Unified Women’s title, in the guise of the butterfly diva belt as one of the most devalued, inconsistent titles in the business. Triple H understood it needed a secondary world title on the other brand. They should not be merged but re-established. WWE feel it has no one ready. We gave you a whole batch of stars over a two year period. Nothing has changed. Smackdown suffers greatly. Plus brand identity has been forgotten and opposing brand stars now hold opposing brand titles.

Hoeski Eve is treading water as champ. It’s just a trinket. She shouldn’t be having as long a time as Beth Phoenix nor Maryse and WWE must remove it from her soon. The problem is that WWE’s outlook of what the division should be formed of has cost them their wrestling females. They have none they feel they can call on. They need to get Natalya and Tamina back in the fold, along with others loitering. Sadly, Aksana needs work, and she can make minimal appearances, though should be training at the same time. WWE proved that it can rely on surprise red herring Naomi, and in this match, she has earned our approval in terms of WWE Divas. Let’s face it, they aren’t going to be exceptional, so now must take with a pinch of salt, yet this does not mean we should abandon everything and continually deploy skanks in every scenario. We still need wrestling women. Sara Del Rey also needs to get on our screens. Get Natalya, Tamina, Rey and Naomi involved for the meantime as the ones to topple Eve. The title needs freshening up, and Kaitlyn is not capable to take it yet, however, like Aksana, can still train in the interim. WWE always have a tendency to rush, because it neglects. This is the end result.

Rhodes Scholars and Cara/Mysterio were booked strong here. This was the first match that all four together and singularly as teams showed some exceptional qualities. Match length, right setting, feel of placement, and correct opponents are the key to success. This was a pleasing, not too long, and interesting outcome for all. That’s the way it should be.

Wade Barrett couldn’t win the Intercontinental title from Kofi Kingston. Just like Ziggler, is not ready. Some say, the IC title would be a step down anyway after he failed to win it. It’s the best thing Barrett can obtain, but he still isn’t ready for mid-level glory. WWE realise this. Invest in new upcoming stars that aren’t Ziggler and Barrett, their tie was two to four years ago. They have passed their time. Get over it.

Once again Antonio Cesaro proved valuable for WWE. Rebuilding the title scene and mid-level players, WWE have found another stable support system, though shouldn’t be neglected and used for this reason only. Strong booking over the next year will be good for him, and leave the US title scene in healthy position when others change the pace. For now, though, Cesaro is perfect for it.

WWE’s TLC upheld it edgy concept, though needs a stronger card structure overall. This was pleasing, hwoever WWE wanted to test the water without Randy Orton to see if it would “be lost without him” as John Cena was off the show last year and the PPV ttrhived without him. CM Punk’s unfortunate mishap removed him from competition. Two big names cost a minor fraction, however, WWE, when putting new talent forward, came up trumps when I chooses to place others strongly in all areas than just one focus on a random being. Though, WWE would have been, and still needs to strengthen with the likes of Orton and Punk magnitudes, rather than let them sit around unused, unless  they need rest to remain fresh for the future.


© Max Waltham 19th December 2012
All Rights Reserved