Hell in a Cell 2013

WWE Hell in a Cell 2013

WWE’s 2013 instalment of the steel cage structure Hell in a Cell screened live on pay per view on Sunday October 27^th from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida.

After the Orton/Bryan drama, no champion and a returning from injury John Cena would WWE be able to settle a level of stability and strength in placing its workforce competently?

WWE Tag Team Championship
Tag Team, Triple Threat 

Cody Rhodes and Goldust (c) Vs Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns and The Uso’s

The announce desk informed us the Rhodes Bros have 30% chance of retaining.30 x 3 = 90. 90% still leaves 10% spare. If you don’t know, nor understand, don’t say it. Goldust and Rollins begin the bout where Jey Uso was tagged in from Rollins after being run by Goldie. Quick cover from Goldust. Tag of Rhodes in. Takes a one fall. Jimmy Uso tagged in as Rhodes remained oblivious. Rhodes begins a bonkers appraisal, clapping of the Uso, for upstaging him. Goldust comes back in. Headbutt from Uso as tag made. Jey slapped by the golden C3PO gimmick. Reigns blind tags in as Uso was flung to the ropes as Reigns trips the feet of Goldie from outside to gain an advantage. Rollins outside attacks as legal man then covers inside for two. Rollins tags Reigns to isolate Goldust, taking a two fall.

Goldust forced into a fierce arm lock sleeper. Reversed into a backslide pin for two from the movie loving golden dream. Crawling to tag missing and covered by Reigns once more for a two count. DDT on Reigns to gain separation. Rollins tags in and dropkicks Rhodes off the apron. Goldust counters making it to corner. Rhodes not there forcing Cody to tag in an Uso, potentially winning. Goldust back in as The Shield blindsided both Uso’s as Goldust attempted to make a tag. Rhodes enters with a cheap shot before getting back to apron. Rollins’ tantalising voice taunts “poor Goldust.”

Reigns runs into a scoop slam from Goldust. Tags in Cody. Takes down Reigns on apron and Rollins into roll through two fall. Climbs atop with a Moonsault, practically missing every possible connection required when wayward flight to the right of opponent. Uso made a tag on Cody who missed the Disaster Kick to Rollins. Two fall only. Reigns saved a second pin. Goldust caught on Reigns as Uso tilts them over, having to double tip Reigns over in tentative hold up. Uso charges outside over Goldie and Reigns, while other Uso charges at Rollins, who kicks out at two. Rollins drops rope as Uso climbs. Rhodes tags in from Uso but battered into corner by Rollins.

Placed atop turnbuckle. Both on top now. Rhodes suplexes Rollins to the outside on top of all the combatants. Rollins sold it like a pro, with strong fluidity on collision. Ref counted a two as Uso jumped onto a covering Cody over Rollins breaking the count. Spear by Reigns out of nowhere. Uso’s out as fast as in by Rollins. Seth hit by Goldust as Rhodes back in. Goldust plants a right hand on Rollins knocking him back into a lurking, despondent Cody Rhodes to grab a cheap pinfall to retain the tag team championships. The terrible mash up music continues.

The Miz decided to give a monotone promo after a pathetic limp towards the ring. The laughable Miz then called out Bray Wyatt. What an absurd decision to make. Miz laid himself wide open to Wyatt as the fodder he is. Upon speaking to the wrong level of media attention, Bray Wyatt answered The Mizes call.

Moronic Miz gives an 'interview.'

“It pains me to see you like this. Like a man who has nothing left to lose. Please understand, your words mean less than salt to me. If you could only see the monster that lives behind my eyes. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa” Wyatt laughed.

Rowan and Harper then maul the lacklustre Miz.  The crowd chanted “We want Kane.”

The flames then burst on the titantron as Kane charged down the ramp and took out Wyatt’s lackies.

Kane then predictable and pleasing chokeslammed weakling Miz in a pleasing display. It also ticks off our dream feud posted months back of Kane Vs Miz. Though, now, The Miz is clearly beneath the fire breathing monster.

Impromptu

Mixed Tag

Fandango w/ Summer Rae Vs The Great Khali and Natalya w/ Hornswoggle

Dancing with the superstars saw Fandango wiggle his booty and Summer Rae shake her, ahem, assets, what of them. Rae enters her first match in WWE, on prime time. Good luck dolly.

Squarker Rae.

Fannydangler told everyone to “Shh!” before asking the audience what they knew about Salsa dancing. “There is only one true master of the art of Salsa.” (Ahh, look at you resigning yourself to my net worth.)  The pair actually attempt a Salsa dance with appropriate music, soon interrupted by their opponents.

WWE have decided that the unexplained break up of Nattie and Khali is now magically back on after Rae had a scrap with Natalya, previously elsewhere. Just like that, a match is born and a pairing is resurged with no logic involved whatsoever. “This is the WWE and the rules can change.” – Triple H. Let us also not forget WWE splashed Natalya's wedding to husband Tyson Kidd all over the E Network on Reality Show Total Divas!

Khali battles Fandango in a daft exchange as Rae and Nattie work together. It is up to esteemed female Natalya to work Summer Rae to a decent match, of which Natalya did excellently despite Rae’s inability to be interesting enough. Rae bounced off the rope with a toe trip planted. Rae screams in the corner as Fandango is tagged in and Natalya grabs the dancer for a sharpshooter, avoided. Hornswoggle outside mocks Fandango as a gripped trunk grabs Fanny D. Fandango soon gets the best of Khali in the ring soon after.

Natalya tries to slap Fandango from the apron as ‘Dango misses and lands into Khali’s instead followed with a boot. Rae tagged in and smiles to dance around Khali in a promiscuous fashion as Natalya charges in and suplexes Summer Rae all over. Nat kicks Rae in the face with a clothesline for good measure. Rae reaches ropes after a sharpshooter attempt. Summer Rae then rolls up Natalya and gains a three fall victory for her and Fandango over The Great Khali. That’s how a WWE diva’s match works, folks.

Impromptu

United States Championship

Dean Ambrose (c) Vs Big E Langston

The basis for this bout? On the pre-show Ambrose and Langston had a verbal disagreement leading to a fight, so Smackdown General Manager Vickie Guerrero booked the title match. Langston was due to battle Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship on the pre-show. WWE, high on Langston all of a sudden, was thrown into yet another match of no importance.

Langston botches a fast attack on Ambrose knocking him down and falling over Amborse sideways in a rushed pin. WWE describe Langston as having an “IT Factor” about him. Ambrose caught in a charge held by Langston. The pair work down in the corner. Langston’s superhuman strength allows being hit by Ambrose with slaps and chops to no effect. The destructive force that was Dean Ambrose is easily pummelled by Langston. Ambrose worn down in a bearhug. Breaks free only to be hurled over to the outside, hurting knee on fall. Ambrose countered Langston attempting to lift him back inside. The pair try to suplex one another on the apron between the ropes. Ambrose gets the best of Big E sending him outside. Big E almost counted out breaks at a near eight. 

Has "IT" apaprently.

Ambrose uses hard kicks and a wear down in corner of opponent. Attempts to climb above with widened open legs above Big E’s head. Someone whistles. Langston block barges Ambrose into the ring so pathetically with a touch to break free. Clothesline’s taking down the US champ with a cover of two from Langston. Runs ropes to drop and body squash, missing and into the ground. Then quickly gets best of Ambrose again. Then splashes Ambrose successfully again in an all too easy exchange. Liability Big E gashed above the eye. Ambrose had no other option but to audibly direct Langston and dropped a DDT for two fall. Ambrose flung into turnbuckle post as laggy Langy charges a spear to Ambrose taking both outside the ring, top centre.

Staggering Dean Ambrose was fed up and became counted out after retrieving his title to leave.  Big E. Langston followed Dean Ambrose, still United States Champion, sneaking up on him to drop a Big Ending finisher planking flapjack thingy and raised the title above to signify the new challenging series. Challenging is the operative word, for certain.

Langston’s Ho train attack was shown again where he busted himself open. Yes, a simplistic move as that broke Langston open.

2 on 1 Handicap

Hell in a Cell

CM Punk Vs Ryback and Paul Heyman

After Punk and Ryback enter, Heyman makes his way to the Cell on a driving stairlift being operated by a moron who doesn't have a driving licence and went round in circles. Absolutely hilarious.

Devilishly good.

“I am the best in Hell! You sold your soul to the devil, but I am not just Paul Heyman, in WWE I am Satan himself, and right there is the man who is going to steal your soul. Now is the time that I collect, because CM Punk, I have risen from the depths of hell and I have ascended to the top of the world for my name is Max Waltham Paul Heyman, and I own C, M , PUNK!” as Heyman was lifted upwards to the top of the Cell. 

Punk charges into Ryback and takes his ankle down while stomping on toes and body. Punk charges into Ryback near the door through the ropes as Ryback moans on his back. Punk grabs a kendo stick and smashes it over neanderthal Ryback. Ry-b tells him to get up and slams him back and forth as Punk lets out a yelp. “You’re a Punk!” Ryback yells.

Back in ring Ryback uses the stick in the corner as Heyman glares down from the centre atop the Cell. Ryback slowly walks Punk around with a few jabs. Flings Punk into corner. Drop slams down on Punk missing any contact. “You can’t wrestle” plagued boreback. Punk gets back with grabs and tips rope down as Ryback traditionally falls over the rope to outside. Punk climbs the corner again to smash down on Ryback. Ryback pathetically charged into Punk reaching for something under the ring. The crowd laughed. 

Punk vs Ryback last year at Hell in a Cell, with Kendo Stick
and extra influence. My, how things change.

Ryback runs into Punk on the narrow strip between ring and Cell pitifully. Ryback loudly tells ref to “move” as he suplexes Punk into the steel a few times with no painful impact whatsoever. It looked ridiculous. Back in ring Ryback covers Punk for two. Heyman on top of the Cell watching. Punk aims to reach the kendo stick lying in ring. Ryback has trouble holding Punk on his back to drop down Punk in a weak exchange. Ryback wraps arms around the guts of Punk. The sound of the crowd was empty. Punk hits knees of Ryback on an approach. Runs a jump up knee to no feeling. A couple of Punk chants begin to stir some hope for the worker who will be excused for having Ryback. Punk isn’t exactly excelling, is he? Ryback talks again before lifting a Shell Shock as Punk blocks it. CM Punk grabs the kendo stick nearby and smashes it into Ryback.

The comedown period continues. Punk runs a touching knee into Ryback. Elbow drop from Punk got a two count. Punk brings in a table as cheers begin for some excitement in the match. Ryback wakes and give Punk a club to the back to stop him. The table sideways set, Ryback tries to powerbomb Punk through it who counters and instead Ryback turns and lifts Punk’s goolies onto the table where Punk hovered over before sitting down on. It was a terrible enactment. Heyman laughs.

Ryback sets table properly as CM Punk hits a low blow as a fan favourite to the nasty monster Ryback. Punk uses the turnbuckle to gain leverage in putting Ryback through the table in the only defining moment of the match. It wasn’t that great, either. Punk smashes the stick again over Ryback’s skull and hits a GTS for CM Punk to cover Ryback for a three fall victory in a tepid encounter. Punk looks north to Heyman.

“Where you going to go?” Punk Skywalker asks, equipped with kendo stick. (Again)

Jerry Lawler states “What goes up must come down.”

Punk climbs the top with stick in his pants by his butt crack. Grabs Heyman’s collar and violently hits Heyman with the stick aggressively. Is an honourable man supposed to do this? Heyman lifted into GTS position as Punk knocks Heyman down to the Cell centre roofing patch.

Tag Team
Los Matadores w/ El Torito Vs Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter

Fernando and Diego grace PPV for the first time with their little raging bull El Torito. The guilty pleasure, filled with humour, interest and a level of workability, the trio charged down the ramp. Agile Torito runs rings around the battle arena while Michael Cole breaks kayfaybe all over the place for El Torito the great.

Colter, armed with microphone begins his verbal onslaught. Telling the ‘immigrants’ they are criminals, Colter also attacked the crowd with his xenophobic levels of propaganda on immigration.   

Cesaro and Diego begin as Diego flips over the rope of turnbuckle well. Works Cesaro decently. Cesaro then flings Diego to the outside where Swagger botches a running charge on the outside.

The Un Real Americans

“The only masked man who wasn’t a criminal was the Lone Ranger” JBL discusses with Cole.

Swagger takes charge inside before tagging Cesaro in. Cesaro’s bulging muscles shone through with an aggressive and tight head/arm lock of Le Matadore. Cesi smashes a boot into the waiting matador hoping to tag in. It’s time for the ever available Cesaro swing on Diego. Cesaro swings and swings and swings near a rough thirty no doubt in a daft yet impressive fling around. Luckily JBL was counting and informed he swung a recorded thirty-one times! I need to book Cesaro for that party piece. Swagger took charge in ring with no interest as filler while ‘Toni dealt with other one outside well. Cesaro holds rope further away as Swagger has one in submission. Cesaro got butted off as the other matador smacked Swagger as, presumably, Diego? Grabbed the three fall for himself and Fernando.

Colter was ashamed and dismayed with his boy’s loss in middle of ring slamming the mat in frustration. El Torito flung over Zeb and minicanrana’ed Cesaro attempting a save as he butted his horns into Zeb’s derrière once more akin to the Smackdown prior, and launched on top of both Colter and Swagger to silence the nauseating Colter.

World Heavyweight Championship

Alberto Del Rio (c) Vs John Cena

Cena returned from his two month injury tonight, instantly launched into the World title match with Del Rio. Cena will be working with a taped up arm. Will Cena win or will Del Rio gain the advantage of the injury returnee? WWE love to keep you guessing.

Intro’s over the pair lock up. Cena audibly instructing Rio in a loose headlock of next match procedure. Rio already works injured arm as announce booth heavily focus on it directly. “Let’s go Cena/ Cena Sucks” plagued the match again. Cena runs a light touching shoulder barge with no effect to knock Del Rio down. The pair square off again, stalling for time. Ri runs a boot to Cena’s head who drearily tilts his head down inside slow motion like a limp anti-climax. Rio runs the ropes, giving Cena a light tap to the back going outside as Michael Cole debates claims Cena has “gone soft.” What irony. Del Rio follows a two fall. Cena botched a boot to the face from Rio twice, failing to connect anything. Cena reverse’s Rio’s run with a toe hold. Rio gets a German suplex and two cover. Grips Cena into arm back hold. Aggressive arm wrench from ‘Bertie. Rio stood with a hand lock over Cena for some time, bellowing messages to the inept Cena what to do next.

Cena makes the comeback after talking so visibly to Rio once again. Cena rolls a flip and dropkick on Rio, running into a forwarm on Del Rio as Cena just back sits down. Rio up top jumps down level and taps stumbling Cena down. Rio applies another arm lock. Cena just opens Rio arm to drop down as Rio gets best, runs the ropes and crashes through ropes to outside as Cena simply moves aside. Sandow was shown seconds ago watching on the backstage screens.

Rio taunts hand gesture of Cena who jump up kicks Rio from top drop turnbuckle again. Cena too easily lifts Rio with a slow lift and drop before following the five knuckle shuffle. Rio counters the AA with a double knee backbreaker. “Se Se Se” rings out. Rio runs into a Cena elbow jab. Cena gets a two fall. The Cena indifference chants begin again in loud motions. Cena jumps up an enziguri on Cena climbing the top turnbuckle.  Sandow watching again.

Cea walk runs to miss enziguri to give Cena a comeback who slowly runs the rope into a Rio whirlbackbreaker for two fall. Rio places Cena backward and down on the corner post to kick him then run into him, where Cena lifts himself up. Rio smashed into the turnbuckle himself as Cena climbs atop to jump a cross body “for the World Title!” Michael Cole proclaims.

Chitter Chatter Cena 

Rio regains control again and puts cross armbreaker on as Cena easily slips out and applies the no pressure STF. “He’s got it locked in good” Cole adds after seen with a huge gap in submission hold. Rio gets fingers on the rope which coutns as a break. Rio smacks a kick to Cena for two again.

"He's got it locked in good."

Rio relocks the cross armbreaker. Cena powered up with a in submission to lift up powerbomb as always to change the pace. Rio countered AA only to be recountered into it. John Cena pinned Alberto Del Rio to lift the World Heavyweight Championship in the biggest miscarriage of justice on WWE TV.  Fans were furious, and not in the correct aspect of wrestling values. Many felt WWE crapped on its own division once again to reward an out of play Cena a championship so freely. “John Cena silenced the critics” the ever delusional Michael Cole bleats after fans were ever so critical of Cena’s glowing accomplishment of workrate to win a title.

Job squad Dolph Ziggler, poster boy R-Truth (with claims of failing a second wellness test covered up by insiders of WWE, allegedly) and phantom Diva Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn wittered on too long as “former best friend” AJ’s music began.

WWE Unified Women’s Championship

AJ (c) w Tamina Vs Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella

Hidden in the guise of the platinum butterfly belt, AJ was accompanied by heavy Tamina. Lock up with instant scream of Brie. Why? Just why? Pair break and stair off. AJ slaps and hits Brie who punches down AJ in a replay of the exact Battleground match 2 weeks prior. AJ wrenches arm of Bella who flips a slam. AJ taps into back of Brie and chin lock pushes her back against rope falling Brie to outside. One fall for AJ. Brie scream “Ah!” constantly. Nikki bellows “come on Brieeeeeeeeeeeeee.” 

Similar scene from Battleground two weeks prior.

AJ works down Brie minimally. Slow pace into a neckbreaker as Brie screams on EVERY move taken. “Awwww!” “Uhhhh!” Brie continues as she and AJ began a series of numerous uneventful reversals. AJ now sits on Brie in wrap around lock. Screams “Tap Brie!” as before. Brie runs a screaming run to break and an “Uhhhhhnnn!” dropkick. Screams something to the crowd.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Brie, STFU!

Brie pitifully dropkick and clotheslines with sound bellowing on every ove continually to no effect on partner or crowd. Funnily guys start objectifying the girls with wold whistles. Nikki then runs around and hits Tamina as AJ was in submission. AJ avoided as Brie smashes in Nikki. AJ graps the Black Widow submission on Brie Bella who pats AJ’s thigh to sumbit and lose the chance to become the champion.

WWE Championship

Hell in a Cell

Special Referee – Shawn Michaels

“Insolence will not be tolerated” – Stephanie McMahon Raw. Stern warnings to Randy Orton from Michaels if Orton lays hands on HBK in the match. Triple H’s assessment of “B+ player” Daniel Bryan doesn’t see the goatface superstar as “Best for Business.” The held up WWE title is on the line. Both Bryan and Orton have been transitional champions and Michaels vows to crown a new WWE champion from this crippling and defining steel structure. Whose your money on? Bryan, Orton or No-one? Here we go.

Mentor Michaels to Rookie Bryan.

Triple H could not resist popping down clutching ‘his’ prized possession, the WWE Championship. A title Hunter claimed “Randy Orton carries for me.” He shakes the Viper’s hand, then extends to Bryan after taunting the title in front of Bryan as the Cell descends locking all three gents inside.

Start to the running outside, Orton chases Bryan who heads back inside swiftly. Orton follows and catches Bryan with a run into hard scoop slam by Orton. Early double DDT foiled as Bryan scales top rope. Knocks down Orton and follow kicks to gut in turnbuckle. Orton responds with run ropes dropkick keeping momentum well. Bryan hoisted onto ropes from chest drop onto. Once again on east side of ring ropes to the gut of Bryan. Orton charges Bryan into the Cell off the apron afterwards. Flung Bryan into the steps and dismantles more. Orton barges the heavy steps into Bryan’s shoulder. Orton sets vertical steps in corner. Reversed Irish whip on outside into the steps by Bryan changes gameplay. Kicks and hurls in the cell and steps of Randy’s head.

Pals Hunter and HBK

Bryan takes a cover inside failing to win. The vicious YES! Kicks follow. Lift and sits Orton up on turnbuckle in a good exposure. Tilts Orton upside down as Bryan runs to corner to charge into Orton with the crowd “ohhhh”ing in anticipation. Bryan launches outside ruing dives on Orton into the cell until a third attempt saw Orton avoid and throw an airy Bryan into the steel for good measure.

Experience Hell in a Cell combatant.
Also sporting a fierce body.

Bryan was soon smashed into the turnbuckle then backbreakered to the outside charismatically. Orton headbutts Bryan in a new level of interest. Bryan punches Orton’s mid-section, countered a flip down and smashed a stunning powerbomb onto Orton. Uppercut and punch exchanges from Orton and Bryan respectively. Yes/No indifference also added from on goers in the crowd.  Bryan runs two corner charge dropkicks to Orton. YES! Kicks continue with a hurricanrana off top rope adding weardown on Orton. Bryan drops a diving headbutt to gain a two fall. Miss around nail o roundhouse kick countered by Orton, soon counter by agile Bryan with a submission. Orton humphing in mild pain as Michaels responds he can’t break hold in this legal structure. Bryan works Orton into the cage meshing with another running dropkick in such narrow space. Brings chair into play smashing the back of poor Randy, in severe pain.

Bryan added a constant amount of chairs to the ring as Jerry Lawler asked JBL how many chairs were in there. Answer? Ten. Plus the one Bryan is holding. Yeah, we do the research, you know. Bryan stuffs the chair into Orton’s gut and over the back before placing inside the ring. Orton jumps up and rakes the eye of Bryan. Jabs the chair to Bryan’s body and gains two fall. Swings the chair for more impact and gets a two for Orton once more.

“Kid continues to stay in it” Michael Cole says as Orton failed another chair to pin fall two count. Orton suplexes Bryan atop the turnbuckle. Tense scenes as Bryan knocks Orton down, who charges back with a tough jab. Orton hooks Bryan’s head and throws the leg backward with a crushing suplex into the chairs below. Orton covers for close two fall. Orti debates with the ref as Triple H marches to the ring displeased. The crowd cheer for Triple H with “A**hole!” Argues with Shawn as Bryan comes back as Orton hooks a suplex to pin as Michaels misses count. Orton argues with Shawn for failing to count him as new champion. “Get off of my back!” HBK – HHH. Tripper asks if Michaels will do this. Orton soon drops the devastating second rope DDT on Bryan.

King Randall the Third. And those lips.

Angry Gorilla Triple H attempts to climb the Cage as Bryan shoves Orton away who lands into Michaels putting all men on the canvas. Hunter’s concern for his friend comes through. Tripper orders the ref’s and doctor to open the cage. Bryan then hit Orton who had the crowd count along a seven count as Michaels was unavailable. HHH enters to check on Michaels as Bryan spears into Shawn Michaels as he celebrates. Livid Shawn Michaels sweet chin music’s Daniel Bryan to the floor as Randy Orton wakes to scuffle over Orton. Michaels deliberates and reluctantly counts fairly to crown Rand as the new WWE champion and face of the WWE.

PPV Rating – 5/10

Men/Women of their matches – Roman Reigns, Natalya, Dean Ambrose, CM Punk, Diego, Alberto Del Rio, AJ, Daniel Bryan

Man/Woman of the PPV – John Cena

Ryback was once again a mass liability. WWE have finally cottoned on to Ryback’s last attitude and distressing ego. Why must you make us say we told you so? But we did. Heyman should never have had Ryback ruin his reputation but WWE could not resist defiance through pride. Ryback needs a pink slip pronto. He has nothing to offer except injuring everyone he works with and still cannot get over. CM Punk however, was implausible and meek. This was not down to Ryback, overall, but it certainly didn’t help, either. As a friendly force, Punk was an aggressive, immoral and discouraging fan favourite that doesn’t require such technique. It was a flop entry none can truly be proud of. The crowd was very silent. Go for surgery.

WWE needed to present John Cena back on television in its shining light once more. That WWE had so little competition available for Rio can only highlight once more the need for fundamental stars. Antonio Cesaro and Damien Sandow await in transit. Rob Van Dam departed last month from a short term WWE contract. WWE were unhappy with such levels of low commitment. Regardless of this, WWE rewarded an inactive superstar with yet another meaningless title win. When cash cow Cena does eventually run out of merchandising sales, who will take over when there is no one else. 

One star every ten years is hardly “best for business” is it? What a way to ruin Alberto Del Rio, at the height of making his name once again, despite becoming boring without any real challenging potential. The Cena/Orton figureheads from six months ago have once again become the two top bankable stars in WWE land. Both had marriage break downs beforehand. Both sell merchandise. CM Punk’s knee is injured. No one else is available to be called on.

WWE’s levels of sheer desperation to make noisy Brie Bella a strong female favourite is not going to work and that’s solely down to the dire portrayal and inexperience from Bella. No amount of main event tweaking will help the shambolic Brie Bella as a star. Forget her and move on, it aint happening. WWE constantly put forward those who can’t achieve and this is why they run into problems. As well as the fact they don’t know how to book them anymore in accordance with ever changing audiences.

Los Matadores and their guilty pleasure El Torito has become an unexpected yet appealing attraction which can only elevate the two matadors’ in the WWE arena. This is one attraction we fully enjoy watching. However, in regards to Antonio Cesaro’s tandem with Swagger and Colter is another distress signal and needs to have implementation from above to come out of this and headline honourable tendencies. Attire will also be key and needs the red trunks and rugby socks back. The longer he stays with Colter and Co, the longer he will be ruined, overall.

The Bryan/Orton saga was due its end. Predictable it was that Bryan would not amount to worthy levels of interest. Perhaps WWE will keep it open for one last match, next month. Regardless, Bryan has already been replaced by handpicked Big Show. This is a program no one in the WWE Universe wishes to see. The lacklustre Big Show taking on the credible Randy Orton. What a shambles WWE is in. However, Bryan and Orton held their own and both have been set on a sturdy path, if WWE keep its tracks level with audience involvement. This doesn’t just mean chanting Yes or No.

Authority and pawn Orton firmly in control. 

The triple threat tag title was a good show having mixed detail. At their momentum, Rhodes and Goldust were needed by WWE to reinforce the tag setting. The storyline permitted such attention; however Cody Rhodes remains the weakest link, as the most lost and boring star of the division. The Uso’s and Shielders were superb in offering tag support and held their own. The three way was a good starter, but the tag division needs a multitude of challengers, as does very division, which WWE tends to focus on only one per year. If it can’t contribute to all at once, that is what hiring others is for, to oversee such creative ideas in order to work with than against. Perhaps WWE should look into an open thought process with certain vital people to assist the McMahon hierarchy. Of course, they can’t give every random so and so a high value stake. Research the market. Open the eyes. Look forward. Is it in front of you?

Dean Ambrose worked well with the disastrous Big E ‘no direction, change from IC to US title’ Langston. A liability ready to take Ryback’s place with no skill or transferable style Langston will be the next in the long line of big guys who fail dismally. If WWE wish to put such stars forward it should carefully fine tweak them for stardom rather than waking up one day and deciding on a whim due to size, ethnicity and height. Is that a gap in the market, or just a slot to be filled?

Once again Natalya proved star worth. Working a blonde, leggy bimbo clone once more, Natty was rewarded with another loss and no title contendership. WWE should be ashamed. She even made Fandango interesting. Khali was, as usual, a car wreck.  

WWE need to prioritise content, people, placement and superstars accordingly. Such mistakes are always costly and another year in and WWE has no new star to brag of. Bryan, like Punk before him, has had his summer solstice. The frivolous times are over and WWE has once again settled for comfortability with profit than investing into future. WWE will certainly be able to keep its doors open, but for how long before it becomes so exhausted with every option, feud and same old title swapping with favourites that have lost public support? Will they ever learn and can they? Or will it constantly be another re-run of pay per view every month with adjustments? It needs to severely understand how to capitalise in a market slowly slipping away from them, day by day, bit by bit. Driving an audience away is not “best for business” built on a loyalty rewards package. 

©  Max Waltham 28th October 2013