WWE TLC 2016
Live on Pay Per View from the American Airlines Centre in Dallas, Texas, on Sunday 04th (5th) December 2016, WWE presented its gimmick furniture collision with plastic ladders and chairs. Would the opening of WWE's toy box allow any on its roster that mattered truly be able to play? Or would it be another flash in the pan with novelty favourite unable to cut the mustard in the big leagues, failing to boost the Smackdown exclusive PPV filled roster?
Let's find out...
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles
Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton w/ Luke Harper Vs Heath Slater and Rhyno (c)
WWE hope to add some legitimacy to the titles that don't exist and were never separated from the already unified one's on Raw. WWE once more clueless decided to place Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt, the whole, awkward tag team dimension together to try and build something about them, their opponents and the tag titles. WWE are all out of options that they couldn't even be bothered to work their creative brains to appreciate their tag roster.
Smackdown also has a four man announce desk team with cutie pie Tom Phillips slipped on the end next to JBL, with Mauro Ranallo and David Otunga. Geez...
Rhyno and Wyatt start things off, with Orton now classed as a member of the Wyatt Family. Braun Strowman and Erick Rowan just didn't work out. Or WWE were too lazy.
Orton came in after to work with Rhyno well and carry the defending champions in the ring, where Heath Slater took over and deal some impressive reputation.
Bray Wyatt used a leg sweep on the outside with a distraction to gain an advantage. What's new? You can be dishonourable and have technique, you know?
Slater had a moment of laughably falling over when trying to wriggle upright outside looking tired. It was okay and funny. Randy Orton regained control seconds later in the ring with a smooth hard scoop slam re-entry.
Bray Wyatt had some very soppy botch moments drop Slater as Rhyno clumsily charged in to beat down fast. Orton protected Wyatt as Rhyno tried to spear Orton on the outside which Luke Harper moved Orton from harm's way to get nailed instead.
The confusion allowed a quick tag for Randy Orton who then smashed Rhyno, distracted by the Creepy Crab of Bray Wyatt to score the victory and become the new Tag Team Smackdown champ thingys. It did not seem like anyone was interested in holding the titles, except Luke Harper, who had to hand them over to his pal. Bray and then Orton placed bother their titles on Luke Harper to make him feel a part of the unit, seemingly a new version of the messed up New Day dynamic. What started well may well be a complete mess up, considering WWE standards at Tag/Trio booking. Bray Wyatt is finally a champion. With added help every time.
It was a short but acceptable start.
Carmella Vs Nikki Bella
After their rough and ready weeks of fighting on the blue brand these two had an anything goes battle in a No Disqualification. This one predictably went straight outside with Carmella getting a crucial jab, only to have Nikki outdo her a second later in the ring. The match attempted to make up for their misgivings as, despite Charlotte and Sasha Banks being completely awful divas on the Raw brand, workability is available to the Smackdown ladies.
These two were still stuck in the traditional divas match run through WWE often favours. Minor grab, beat down drop, gesturing and slow down stalling. Despite this, as we stated before, the girls try and if they find the right structure the pair, and the SD locker ladies, can really create something spectacular on Smackdown. At the moment it is still standard filler but a bit better than average matches with a feel of fun to watch.
Carmella had Bella upside down as she finds a Kendo Stick from beneath the ring. Now it was Carmella's time to smack some rack attacks on Bella's abs, with a little mockery of "You Can't See Me" to Mrs John Cena in waiting.
It was slow and tepid in places but became more interesting when Carmella took a pretzel style leg lock on Bella, who countered with the stick to break free. The time in between stalling was a letdown for what they attempted to crate.
It lacked a full on drive and stalled momentum, but still had promise. Bella kicked Carmella off the ring barricade rung before battering her with the stick inside the ring.
Carmella got a cheap jab back into it as both were doing at their times, which again put a slow down drain on the match's full capacity to be something more.
Nikki blew a Fire Extinguisher in Carmella's eyes and around her in what is WWE's annual gimmick PPV filler with all the kitchen sink utensils. Carmella walked around trying to avoid the smoke as Nikki Bella walked her into a Rack Attack to easily drop Carmella to no real effect. So many opportunities were squandered in this mundane feud of Bella V Carmella.
WWE once again did another whodunit cheap version twist which again failed to be thrilling. Apparently someone attack Nikki after Survivor Series just two weeks ago. Carmella was blamed but revealed it was actually Natalya. With that, the buzz was over.
We then saw Natalya and a fan planning to propose plug tonight's sponsor's, not KFC this time, but someone called Kay's Jewellers. That's right, a jewellers. LOL.
Dolph Ziggler Vs The Miz (c) w/ Maryse
After winning the gold at what fans thought might be the mildly intriguing resurgence of Dolph Ziggler and the Intercontinental Championship, and then dropped before Survivor Series to have a balanced feud of good and bad, The Miz was once more the champ.
Oh god, not again!
WWE say this is the last one, yet another replay of repeats like Ziggler/Corbin over the Spring and Summer was just mind numbingly boring.
Fans were as zapped as the stars and WWE's direction.
Once again, as with both these guys and the type of match upheld hosted a cheap and easy Ladder match insert to try and create some buzz. It was once again another obvious and poor choice, which once again saw gimmick jobber Dolph Ziggler change his tights with an American Flag print on silver baco foil Turkey coverings.
It went outside quick with The Miz succeeding Ziggler over a Ladder skirmish. It wasn't very productive or thrilling. Ziggler easily and cheaply countered Miz into it after. Another tepid run through with no depth to the card booking. It was painful to watch.
Boring, drab and useless, this one had no feel or dimension to appeal. It was another wasted time for the pair on the card, who may well try but the direction, structure and tacky writing have ruined everything they could attempt to do. It was obvious, predictable and all foreseen before it happened.
Some fans were heard hysterically laughing as Miz pummelled Ziggler down to the ground outside, which provided a highlight.
The pair fought over getting a ladder with a tug of war on the outside to drive The Miz into the corner post which then saw Ziggler lie down on the other side making no sense at all.
An awkward exchange saw a moment arrive which was flawed and botched where Miz was jump swing DDT'ed into a diagonally stacked ladder, which missed categorically. It was awful. Yet WWE tried to make it as prestigious as previous title holders from the Package Video before the match. How embarrassing.
While their intentions might be pure, the show was murky, slow and empty. It was another joke moment where Ziggler pretended to be sparked out looking retarded after The Miz dropkicked a ladder into his face, which failed to connect. It was all a terrible waste of time.
After some time Ziggler began the first climb to the top but was stopped. We saw Ziggler's pigtail's as he tried to climb again. Of course, The Miz then tipped the ladder in repetitive WWE ladder match fashion.
Ziggler climbed again after a long wait with Miz at the bottom. He got up and joined him at the top for the next big moment. They both grabbed and fought for it. That's original.
The Miz was knocked off the top as Ziggles grabbed but Mizzie puller his legs down and worked them over through the ladder before lightly tipping it. It was a messy spot as Ziggler simply jumped off the ladder as it tipped exposing the angle as pitiful.
Miz then flung him in the ladder after. Now Ziggler was able to roll around with pain in his leg, whining like a girl. The Miz then locked the Figure 4 Leg Lock on Ziggler through the ladder rungs on the ground for more power.
Ziggler tried a Superkick but couldn't do it, allowing The Miz to whack a Skull crushing Finale on the ladder for Ziggler.
The Miz climbed and held the title as Ziggler moved the ladder. Miz was dangling on the title as Dolph Ziggler smashed the title into The Miz who plummeted to the ground in severe pain outside.
Maryse was over the other side watching on. She did not join her husband with comfort.
Dolph Ziggler hobbled his way to the top as The Miz randomly jumped back in, undoing all the pain he had supposedly suffered.
He bounced Ziggler off the roped to Powerbomb Ziggler on a laid out ladder in the corner. Both were now down.
The Miz laid up two ladder next to each other in the centre as Ziggles laughably wriggled in to climb up. It was silly. The pair again traded blows as the big moment was coming. Dolph Ziggler dazed The Miz with blows and headbutt's sending him off the ladders as Ziggler grabbed the gold. The Miz then charged up an smashed a hard jab to Dolph's goolies as The Miz reached the top and unhooked the Intercontinental Championship to remain champion.
Oh no! Maryse grants her hubby a microphone. Mizzie dedicated the win to General Manager Daniel Bryan. Miz then slated the entire crowd in Dallas. Thanks for coming.
Baron Corbin Vs Kalisto
The continued failure to make Baron Corbin a success despite WWE's continual up/down, start/stop actions continued tonight. His competition? An ignorant midget who isn't even worthy of main PPV placement and is a shameful disgrace to the business let alone trying to be jobber event. How exciting.
Kalisto entered to a crowd of literally no noise whatsoever. What will it take for WWE to realise high levels of ignorance won't equate success? Especially with a non entity midget jumper.
|Swatted. Mosquito Kalisto put |
out of his misery.
Baron Corbin stacked a chair, seated so Kalisto could get a cheap spot where he dropkick ran at him then made stupid noises to try and get some interest. It didn't work.
Barry Corbin then flung Kalisto into some chairs stacked around outside. Kalisto couldn't even fall into the interestingly and the spot was wasted.
The traditional chair every year event was placed in all the same spots, with the wedged corner turnbuckle position as Corbin smacks a huge powerbomb, which allowed Kalisto to break free. WWE need to fill the time on this weak PPV. Fans were shown in the audience looking completely demystified and hoping for a quick end.
Kalisto did his trademark jump out the way and a lame toe hold trip to try and get some time to recover. Hilarious.
It didn't take WWE long to compare Kalisto to Rey Mysterio, his carbon copy clone. This was when they realised Kalisto had nothing to him, and a Rey Rey comparison wasn't compelling either. Both are ignorant and Rey Mysterio is long past his sell by date.
Corbin angrily slammed numerous chairs down in the centre of the ring preparing for the pesky mosquito who continued to crawl around on all fours dodging cheap attacks like a weak rat. He crawled around again after Baron Corbin did the work for him. He screamed, ran and jumped. Thrilling. Is there anything he can't do?
|Isn't going anywhere at |
this rate, yet again.
Kalisto botched his grand Moonsault launch on Corbin, with a chair atop him but landing off of the chair and standing on his feet. Can anyone in WWE today ever actually do a Moonsault without a botch? Total embarrassment.
Kalisto jumped off the top turnbuckle into a face smash Chair by Corbin "swatting that mosquito" as JBL perfectly put it. Baron Corbin won this match which was a waste of everyone's time, had no buzz and needed to fill the time on the card which proves Kalisto's pace is not worthy on the main show nor even the pre-show.
This only makes WWE look further more moronic. Have the ratings declined, Vince? Ignorance ain't bliss.
WWE 'Smackdown Women's' Championship
This non-existent title which still hasn't been separated from the whole title that is legitimately on Raw continues another waste of time with Becky boredom Lynch in another tired feud. On a family show, WWE showed a clip of Becky calling Alexa Bliss a "Bitch!" WWE had also previously shown many children in attendance for tonight's show. Classy. Or just desperate.
|Never looked right |
on her anyway.
WWE then showed lots of kids in attendance, with Bex even touching some. Tacky and sad. No professionalism at all.
Bex got started by slamming Alexa into the barricade outside (How original) with literally no impact or enthusiasm.
Bliss covered Lynch almost bungling a lift up powerbomb on the outside with good power and technique followed up in the ring, all be it shortly put down by Becky.
Becky took some time to set a table outside as Alexa recovers inside. Becky attempted a suplex to the outside but Bliss would not allow it. Bliss took control with good kicks and fresh momentum, al be it again stalled by Becky Lynch simply dodging moves every second. Thrilling.
She bit Alexa's fingers. At least it wasn't Ric Flair molesting her at ringside like a dirty old perv. WWE quietly erased those clips. Maybe they will give Bill Cosby a contract?
Alexa Bliss then pulled out a table as Lynch hollered and charged but missed and got thrown into the barricade so Bliss could put the table inside.
The crowd started entertaining themselves, a sign that people are lost or not interested. Lynch as champion and WWE's mistreatment of Bliss as a serious contender is enough to cause that reaction.
Bliss eventually laid Becky on a Table as he climbed the top. Becky sigh fully got up and stopped het. That wasn't painstakingly obvious at all. Becky then tried her age old routine of corner suplex stuff. Then came a laughable moment of Lynch stumbling around after being knocked by Bliss' boot.
The table was slanted to the corner post as the pair duked it out. Bliss avoided and kept Becky down as the pair avoided the table collision. Now it's getting boring. Bliss tried a new technique to tip the table over Becky, who again, moved out the way. Such technique.
Bliss rearranged the table once more upright on the canvas. Bliss almost went through but pushed the table away from Becky's backdrop, forcing Alexa to slam Becky down face first on the table edge too.
Lynch then randomly got up and put the arm lock on Bliss, who tried to set the table. Geez... Becky then did a slam to buy time. Zzzz... It did not at all feel like a title mat, let alone women's skill.
Becky Lynch stacked the table along the corner ropes and laid Bliss on it. She took to the top where Bliss used her charming kicks, which have been very impressive blockers, to avoid the table smash.
As quick as that, Lynch reversed Bliss into the table edge on an Irish Whip fling. ...
The pair took it to the outside punching on the outer ring canvas as Becky Lynch missed and Alexa Bliss slipped through the gap underneath Lynch to slam a devastating powerbomb smash through the table. Alexa Bliss takes the title for the blue brand with a decent victory and hard earned technique.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Tables, Ladders and Chairs
Dean Ambrose Vs AJ Styles (c)
This one is still renamed the WWE World title, since going to Smackdown and on AJ Styles' waist. I don't blame them I suppose. You can't really have credibility with some tepid TNA flunkie, but WWE are desperate and ignorant.
|Table for three?|
There's almost an hour to go with just the main event up next. This main better not be a hour. Lots of false finishes and restarts then? Hmm.. Something's going on....
Expect lots of spot monkey flips. AJ Styles' true talent. Jumping around. Ellsworth incoming.
The most poignant moment after this messy start of walking around the arena was Dean Ambrose put the trash can over AJ Styles exemplify AJ Styles for all his worth. Trash. AJ 'no' Styles got his moment back by jump up dropkicking Ambrose on return over the barricade. Ever a cheap distraction for AJ's, err, talent.
Dean Ambrose continues his lunatic character which lost impact somewhat with a run forward lunge at Styles on the barricade (where else?) outside to smash him. with chair.
AJ Styles tepidly flings the ladder at Ambrose in the ring to no effect and walks around. He then scoop Slams Ambrose on the ladder meekly, which Ambrose sells properly. AJ Styles was catapulted onto a slanted ladder across the ropes by Ambrose, where styles horrendously botched the angle and fell out of the ring so awkwardly.
AJ's ripped pants at times looked
like he had a rear accident.
Styles come back in for some cheap moments as Ambrose lies on the floor yelling in pain. Is this a divas match? Styles weakly lands a Side Walk Slam in the most wasted spot of the night over a chair. It was as throwaway as Styles' attitude in delivering it.
Styles went to the bottom of the ring to bring in some more chairs and stack them in the centre. AJ was announced as a "student of the game" in reference to highly ignorant misdirected manager Triple H, where Ambrose countered with a suplex to back throw Styles into his 2 by 2 chair set up.
Ambrose elbow drops a chair on Ambrose to try and bring back some interest, while taking a moment to set up a table. He then flings Styles through one of the set leg stands on the back before slanting the table in the corner.
Is a ref bump distraction coming?
Also, it is visible that AJ Styles has tore the back of his pants showing a small piece of ass cheek which should be attractive but is somewhat unattractive. It did not look good.
Styles had a quick rush around like a wasp flittering around to get Ambrose flipped into the table in the corner. The quick mish mash looked lame and disengaging. Ambrose returned with more power and skill returning his lunatic emphasis on AJ, sporting a bloody mouth from the blood capsule WWE once often banned performers from using. Only when WWE need some attention, huh?
The pair were atop the post as two side tables on the outside are set and likely to claim a victim at some point but not yet as Ambrose gets the better of Styles on the other side of the ring.
Ambrose finally looks up to the title, before diving to the outside on Styles and placing him on the announce tables. Ambrose dismantles all three before gearing up t put Styles through them. Ambrose sets a ladder on one of the announce tables for good measure.
Dean Ambrose knocks the elbow drop on AJ Styles who falls through the announce tables with Ambrose steadying himself.
Dean Ambrose begins to climb. Mauro Ranallo announces AJ has resurged, yet the camera did not show and timing was off for someone which made Ranalllo look like he gave the game away. Oops. Styles jumped in to the ring to stop Ambrose. Ranallo continued to get carried away with JBL correcting him.
Both returned to the ring mat as the quick counters continued with one another as Ambrose spins AJ into the set ladder.
AJ got the better of Ambrose with some jump up moments. (What's new?)
Styles sets Ambrose on a table outside whilst doing a flip from the inside to gain some sympathy on a cheap manoeuvre which is just a stuntman's flip. Wrestling, it is not. Entertaining, it is not. Awesome? Keep dreaming. Cheap tactics are not skill.
Neck-Braced, should be champion James Ellsworth finally arrives as Styles attacks him which AJ did not do well at all and made a mess of the angle. He readies Ellsworth for a powerbomb on steel steps as Ambrose saves the day and knocks Styles instead.
Dean Ambrose takes a climb to the tip of the title as the atmosphere changes. Styles charges back in to join Ambrose in a fight at the top Ambrose smashes AJ Styles off the top as James Ellsworth predictably tips Dean Ambrose off the ladder into the stacked side tables outside.
AJ Styles climbs to the top of the ladder and unhooks the title to retain the WWE title over Dean Ambrose with once again, added help further rendering the title, champion worth and SD Live another chump joke of no merit.
PPV Rating - 3/10
Men/Women of their matches - Randy Orton, Carmella, The Miz, Baron Corbin, Alexa Bliss, Dean Ambrose
Man/Woman of the PPV - James Ellsworth
The tag team titles continue to be disrespected. These one's don't exist but WW don't care, its WWE. Where are the ratings? Anyway... The rest of the teams who are red hot and failed to make it to the main title challenge rang up the rear on the pre-show, once again fully disrespected as jobbers.
The main title battle was adequate but not enough to cover a poorly laced card. Randy Orton has been tasked to make the Wyatt Family meaningful again. Orton is the only worker WWE have, especially when they cannot be creative enough to make it work in the first place. This was also previously done a few years back with Daniel Bryan, was it not? With lacking family members, no star power and Bray Wyatt an immeasurable joke that will never take off in WWE at their own mishandling (another reason many bolted from WWE) won't see this as a credible resurgence. They know WWE will make another categorical mess of it. They don't know how to push it forward. They're not this writer personified.
|New Day Mark II|
Once more WWE should have utilised its tag division and moved the others to main event/mid card title placement. Of course, WWE are clueless and repressive. Luke Harper is also said to be going to defend the titles on some occasions. WWE still don't get it. Tag titles of those who win are only allowed to defend, but, hey, WWE always mess up their own rules and destroy wrestling principals for a new feel. This is not creative, skilful or helpful. Luke Harper will always be the third wheel jobber that can never get the gold. This is also Bray Wyatt's first title in forever, and it's the tag belt. HaHaHaHaHa! Hilarious. WWE are the worst when left to their own devices. Without Max Waltham's guidance over the last year or so, and resenting him for the advice beforehand for years, WWE are at rock bottom. Aww... Resentment for talent. Take a look at the product. Pitiful.
The divas had promise but once again became same old run through of nothingness. that missed all the tricks that could have made it excel better.
The Intercontinental championship is still a curse. When it isn't resigned to boredom and watered down spot moments, it and its battlers are simply non-existent, largely down to WWE's constant mishandling of everything with it. No one can get over with it, just like the Universal title. It drained momentum and had no buzz. What a waste.
Baron Corbin and Kalisto. Ha! This match is completely laughable and full of no interest. Toilet break at best. WWE should be ashamed to put on a card event that was solely placed just for the sake of it. There is nothing Kalisto can do and desperately needs his pink slip. This one is Ryback in reverse. WWE stalled forever before failing to listen to the inevitable, and since then, their reputation has sunk beyond belief. Move with it WWE, or get left behind. People are moving on, literally.
Underrated Alexa Bliss, usually jobbed out to Becky Lynch every week or month in exhausting feuds, finally proved audiences wrong. With sheer delight, the Smackdown leading woman is full of class, skill and power that supports her character and technique. She needs some refinement, of course, but is one of the best females WWE and Smackdown LIVE house. After the win once again ignorant self egotist Triple H congratulated Bliss with an unnecessary praise which did nothing for her and tainted her victory, because Triple H is desperate to latch on to an NXT star making it big in WWE. When will he learn to shut his ignorantly stained mouth for the better of the business product? Triple H is currently the source of all WWE's problems and believes his egotistical, nasty abuse toting power (what of it) makes him king. Learn to shut up and stop being bitter about failing to be a businessman. Bliss has now been tainted after a superb win, which saw her parents in the arena watching her successful victory. Triple H is such a mark.
|Ignorant Blabbermouth is|
best for business.
The eyes tell all.
The main event was another smokescreen cover up to protect one of WWE's most failed acts over nearly a whole year, not just Kevin Owens, but AJ 'Action Man' Styles. The TNA fodder who holds WWE's title (how did WWE get so pathetic?) who has yet to wrestle and continued his flip spots, which have both also added to WWE's ratings decline (there are many) AJ again slipped through the net getting away with another fluke win. What a champion. Weak. Pathetic. Talentless. Spare part as no other roster star is available to be 'built' upon through WWE's years of failing to breed stars.
McMahon logic was so obvious and struck again. Though Vince McMahon has continued to miss more tricks in the book. What started as a puny, joke jobber character, becoming the biggest sensation over the year (apart from yours truly every year) Ellsworth has been treated with lacking direction. WWE failed to sign him and push him at his most red hot over the last 2-3 months. He has recently signed a contract to stick around but only when we have to tell McMahon and Co. the obvious. Missed opportunities from a man who has beaten AJ Styles (as champion) on Smackdown LIVE four times, should be champion and is more than over as the fresh new thing WWE have been waiting for. Now they have it, once more WWE are about to make a huge mess of this 'direction' which commands stalled respect from the audience for waiting too long. WWE follows its same formula which fails everything and is not worthy of audience viewers. They leave. As for AJ, he is simply another chump champ who can't ever win themselves. HaHaHa! What a car crash. All for Triple H's hiring obsessive ego to be proven right that t was a good hire based his mark fandom and attempts to manipulate fans into liking Triple H as a businessman because he failed to understand outside of his markdom of one tape where AJ jumps about. Are the ratings down? That's what's 'best for business', right? Triple H doesn't play well with others and yet could have it all. His bitter, fandom choices continue to rip a hole through WWE's circus structure with bitter attacks and high ignorance hires. The man is getting worse than Dixie Carter.
I'm runnin' the WWE!
The main was obvious, too strained over time like a manky tea bag filtering its last and lacked any personality from clown coward AJ Styles as WWE's p*ss poor frontman. Ouch!
Alexa Bliss, Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose with James Ellsworth's involvement won't be enough for WWE to excel much, but nearing the end of the year, these performers did try to claw something back from trash to flash. 3/10 is an improvement for 1/10 back to back for 4-5 consecutive PPV's with a 2 last month. Is that WWE's target tough? A measly match which is not all that? Brilliant.
Alas, WWE continuing to cover up for flawed champions because it is so desperately missing something more necessary is another embarrassing indictment for entertainment of wrestling prowess. The fans have finally realised and not bothered wasting their time. WWE's world is the only one it knows, with a very vindictive and abusive nature. Who knows if they are ever capable of being caring and considerate. I don't think anyone cares anymore. Too little too late.
© Max Waltham 05th December 2016
All Rights Reserved