Wednesday, 27 November 2013

WWE Survivor Series 2013

Survivor Series 2013

Live on pay per view on Sunday November 24th from Boston, Massachusetts from the TD Garden would WWE be able to present a card filled with intrigue, passion and excitement? Would Survivor Series begin, end or add dramatic tension to feuds in the company? Or would every question be a rhetorical one?

Triple H and wife Stephanie McMahon opened the show with a brief introduction of two minutes. Starting off is a five on five traditional Survivors match. Was a minor blip introduction that added nothing to the show necessary? Stephanie smiled in true happy chick fashion. Isn't she supposed to be a mischievous witch?

5 on 5 Tag Team Elimination
Rey Mysterio, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Goldust and Cody Rhodes Vs Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro w/ Zeb Colter, Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins

With the deafening mash up of atrocious Rhodes Brothers music over, Zeb Colter asked for his team music to stop leading to a vicious rant instead. Slating Boston for its Tea Party politics and the audiences' lack of attention span more interested in twerking and tweeting then saw a shameless Cody Rhodes begin an atrocious rear out twerk as Goldust backtracked away in horror. Stupidities over, The Shield enter to get the match underway.

Rhodes and Ambrose begin the lock up. Ambrose sold tremendously for Rhodes during Cody's sloppy exchanges. Rhodes got a cheap fall up on Dean Ambrose just moments later. Ambrose was in the match for roughly three minutes. Yes, Dean Ambrose is eliminated. Everyone soon gets involved, with The Uso's launching over to the outside taking out everyone. Rhodes heads back in as Rollins takes charge. Goldust gains a tag to battle the second shielder. Cesaro joins the fray. Swagger tags in seconds later. Cesaro rejoins. I wonder who will get swung? Swagger returns. Cesaro gut stomp leapfrogs over Swagger onto Goldust then working a submissive headlock on Goldie. 'Dust reverses control with DDT momentum. Cesaro's strength impresses with a gut wrench inverted flip backbreaker to the front. Swagger countered as Goldie tags in a returning from injury Rey Mysterio. Rey does the usual comeback routine with set up for 619 connected. Uso tagged in with superkick. Jey Uso takes a tag and drops top rope splash for a three fall pin to eliminate Jack Swagger. Cesaro comes back in and delivers huge uppercut prowess. That should have got three but took two. The super Cesaro swing came next. Jimmy charges in and gets caught as Cesaro swings Jimmy round again. The crowd count along for a twenty strong rotation. Rhodes sneaks in to catch a quick roll up and Antonio Cesaro instantly become eliminated. That wasn't daft at all.

After corner debate, Reigns enters the match. Rhodes tags an Uso as Reigns is overworked as the second Uso is in. Reigns hits a hard jaw elbow. Rollins enters and works over the Uso in question. Maybe they can wear their names on the back of their tights or something. They need something distinctive, for sure. Both Shielders could not fight the Uso's who switched one another with tags and dropped down Reigns. It's good to see equal standing, but The Shield have been somewhat lacking in this one. Reigns charges a spear as Jimmy Uso is gone. Ring announcer Justin Roberts announced Jey Uso instead. Michael Cole corrected. Rollins worked over by Rhodes in quick takeover. Reigns then hit a massive spear on Cody Rhodes to send him off to the showers to twerk for Cesaro, presumably. Rollins runs an impressive foot stomp on the head of Uso number two. Jey Uso is out of there. Aerial aces Rey and Seth get the pace going. Mysterio gave a hard kick to Rollins head in a minimal mode of action which highlighted good entry from Mysterio. He looked good for partial entry. Reigns lifted and slide threw Rey out of the bottom rope to outside hard and beautifully.  Mysterio reached the ring at a nine count. Reigns flew into the post missing scampy Rey Rey. Rollins charges in on tag to remove Goldie off apron and lift Rey who got a cheeky rollup and eliminated Seth Rollins. It wasn't believable for comeback kid Mysterio. Livid, Rollins hammered Rey with Reigns.

Rey was caught from a baseball slide under Reigns to smash an enziguri on Roman. Creating distance Rey tags Goldie in. Reigns makes schoolboy error bedding down to catch Goldust on a rope run only to get the Goldie, hand smacked onto Reigns. Followed by ten punch turnbuckle attack. Goldust takes two fall only. The two weigh each other up as running bulldog from Goldust missed as Reigns hits the spear to eliminate Goldust. Rey launches top attack, caught on shoulder, reversing Reigns into the 619 rope position. Rey charges at Reigns who gets up and spears Rey Mysterio down to the mat to eliminate him and win the match. Roman Reigns eliminated four of the opposite team as the announce booth inform us. WWE wanted Reigns to go higher up the list. This one's been earmarked.

After chatting with hubby Tripper and Kane, Randy popped in for a chat with Steph and The Authority. Instantly ignored, Orton wanted to check his demands for the evening would be met. Trips was a little confused and disgruntled with Randall.

Intercontinental Championship
Curtis Axel Vs Big E. Langston (c)

If you missed the pre Survivor Series Raw, Big E. Langston won the IC title from Axel in an aggressively bungled bout, last week.

WWE talked up the significance of the Intercontinental title as Axel and Langston faced one another. The pair lack credibility. After a lot of lock ups and absurd grunts, Big E stands tall from Axel's technical arm working. In a flash, Axel's hard work is redundant. Axel and Big E run the ropes where Bigster uses two leapfrog on the spot jumps with a hard take down after. Big E needs to slow down and conserve frugal momentum. Vanilla fighter Axel runs off the outside rope with a flying clothesline after Big E was stationed outside.

Chants of "You can't wrestle" plagued the arena as Axel worked down Langston. The direction of the chants were unclear to who or if indeed both were applied to.

Muscle man Big E takes control with a few body blows and run splash down onto Axel's almost broke back. Axel hooked a two fall Fisherman's suplex. The pair do more elbowing. Langston catches a walking Axel into a Big Ending as Big E. Langston defeats Curtis Axel to lift the Intercontinental championship again. 

Renee Young has snuck into the ring to interview Big E. Big E said he "didn't want to pander to the audience in Boston" after mentioning Boston for a cheap pop. He compared his win to the Boston Red Sox winning the championships. I would compare that god awful segment to when Ezekiel Jackson was interviewed when he won the IC title. Jackson lost the title soon after in months of no importance.

AJ and Tamina had a chat with the gals Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Rosa Mendes and Summer Rae backstage. AJ plugged tele show Total Divas which was not interested in these spare divas. "Start your own show by stealing this one tonight" AJ adds before heading off. Yes. Kaitlyn is a wicked diva now. Yet once again gave a friendly 'poor me' performance.

7 on 7 Divas Elimination
Natalya, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Naomi, Cameron, JoJo and Eva Marie Vs AJ, Tamina, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Summer Rae and Kaitlyn

Total Divas
Alicia Fox and Naomi begin the match up. Fans are a little apathetic of sitting through seven divas used so underwhelmingly. Naomi's drop down of Fox from top turnbuckle was dreadful as Alicia Fox waited before being eliminated. Rosa comes in as Cameron double teams with Naomi to shake their bodies with a split leg double team. It got a two fall. Cameron ran into Rosa, missing and clumsily hitting her head on the turnbuckle pad allowing Rosa Mendes to eliminate Cameron as she circles around in joy. Unbeknownst to Rosa Mendes, Brie is behind her and hits her for the elimination. Summer Rae comes in and does her ridiculous dance moves as Brie does the Worm. Summer Rae was eliminated with ease. 

WWE are said to be high on her and Eva Marie. Eva Marie, a lovely lady and fan favourite was instantly booed to hell upon entering and sparked extreme "You Can't Wrestle" chants with such ferocity as Kaitlyn quickly backbreaked and pinned Eva Marie. That was quick. Fans cheered. Naomi came in to show off moves and was dropped by Katy-lyn. Brie charges into Kaitlyn and gets better of her with missile dropkick for a three count elimination. AJ cannot contain hilarity in laughter as Kailtyn was pinned. Aksana hits a powerful back slam on Brie after some AJ knees to the back. Shock horror as WWE favourite Brie Bella is eliminated. Are WWE listening to fans again? Or just 'mixing it up?' Nikki enters to have a go and eliminates Aksana.

Dropping like flies, Tamina gears up. Dominant headbutts and a clothesline taking off Nattie from the apron follow. Tamina impressively works her foot holds on Nikki. JoJo offers a tag as Nikki is sceptical to accept the novice with no in ring talent experience. JoJo squares up to Tamina in the newbie's first in ring debut with Tamina, who tossed her back like a rag doll. Weakling JoJo gets her feet up to cheers from the crowd as Tamina almost gets cheaply pinned. Fans cheer once more for the underdog. Tamina wraps it up with a crushing backbreaker. AJ receives the tag to pin a laid out JoJo. Natalya enters as Tamina heads in. Nikki Bella is nowhere to be seen. 

The pair finally go at it. Tammy smacks her running body into Nat's head butt first to the corner. Great bodyslams from Tamina, climbing to the top rope. Tamina launches an excellent highflying Superfly, missing, as Natalya moved and locks in the devastating Sharpshooter. Tamina tapped out just before AJ ran in and broke the lock up a second too late. Tamina attempts to come back in as Nikki smashes her off the apron allowing Natalya to roll over AJ and lock in the sharpshooter for a submission and victory for Natalya and Nikki Bella. The match was throwaway, however only Tamina kept the dominance and appeal throughout.

Randy runs into referee for the main event match Charles Robinson backstage. He asked Charles to call the match down the middle, ignoring their friendship. Asking if he got what he was saying, company man Robinson told Rand he would do whatever The Authority said.

On the panel show with WWE lovely Josh Mathews was bestselling author Mick Foley, multiple champ Booker T and the ignorant sponge 'only back to collect a paycheck' egotist Bret Hart.

Laugh a minute Ryback interrupted to pick a cheap fight with the "old timers." Simple solution here. Fire Ryback. The meathead offered an open challenge. Good Lord. Usually jobbers do this, don't they? Is that rhetorical?

The challenge was answered.

Open Challenge
Ryback Vs Mark Henry

Mark Henry returned as an honourable man. Wasn't this done before? This is your toilet break guys. Instantly the pair locked up and pushed one another back. It was the standard muscle meathead mash up. Push. Stop. Gather breath. Hit one move. Pause. Walk around. Stop. Lie on ground. Occasional foot stomp. Suplex. "Goldberg!" Ryback runs into the post and whines comically. "Ahhhhhhhhh!" Henry did a headbutt. Then he ran a headbutt on the ground on all fours. How sad. What a quality match, here. As much a classic as Undertaker, Rock or Shawn Michael matches, huh?

Henry did a shoulder block again. Then a clothesline again. Then a backbreaker again. "You can't wrestle!" as Henry stands watching Ryback. Ryback gets a spinebuster and pulls his man boobs out in Neanderthal fashion. He ran into a stationary Henry who picked up and dropped a slam. Mark Henry beat Ryback with a pinfall. It was entirely meaningless. Henry is next in line to get a WWE title shot, again.

Were back with Joshie now. "Be careful what you wish for" Booker T adds standing next to humdrum Bret Hart, who now chips in on an Alberto Del Rio evaluation. Foley follows. Booker T was the only valuable asset here, along with dependable sweetie Josh Mathews. Brock was nowhere in sight tonight.

World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio Vs John Cena (c)

Boston's own and the face of the WWE, World Champion, John Cena began hugging Rio, in hold, landing on the apron. In armlock Rio was loudly heard informing Cena of instructions how to work the match. That's right. The World Champion, face of the company and hometown hero, no less, could not have figured out what to do to give a good match. The instructions become even louder every takedown into the arm lock.

Cena blocked an action from being hurled into the steel steps only to be flung into the other corner steps instead. Cena decided to run into them and visibly pushed the steps away. Disgraceful.

Cena ran into a clothesline. Cena jump up dropkicks after Rio sits atop the turnbuckle to drop down on Cena. Cena booed loudly as he backbreaks Rio in centre position. Rio halts the progress with a counter.

Rio beats a seven count. Cena swiftly does the five knuckle shuffle clearly seen hastily missing the knuckle hitting Rio nowhere near connection anywhere, in a shameful process of botchdom. Cena tornado DDT's Rio as he purposely walks into Cena's path to allow him to do so. Cena is insanely weak as a performer but this may just be his worst in many times. Rio whacks an enziguri. Cena's in ring behaviour is simply sloppy and inexcusable. The crowd's frustration would not be ignored any longer. The "Cena Sucks!" chants were twice as loud and aggressive to explain the upset of performance on offer. Some countered with mild Cena bias, as they often do. The point however, can no longer be ignored. It's a serious one WWE need to address. Fans will not take much more.

Cena reversed the cross arm breaker into an STF. Rio, after a long hold on, touched the rope with a finger. That's all it takes to break. Cena didn't lock the arms on at all, once again. Rio hit a kick and two fall. Cena took a quick neckbreaker out of nowhere for a tense two fall.

Cena climbs the turnbuckle again to softly land onto Rio. Locked in an armbreaker Cena comically says "Oh, Oh" until picking up as super strength kicked in on Rio, in hold, once more to hurl him off so tediously. Cena reversed Rio into a quick, unseen Attitude Adjustment to grab a three fall on Alberto Del Rio as John Cena easily raises the World title.

Cena chose to be obnoxious once again and hold the World title in front of centre row disagreement with a sea of signs proclaiming disappointment.

Santino and R-Truth debated who would win Money in the Bank. They chose to play and plug the new merchandise as Los Matadores and Fandango make appearances. In walks blast from the past John Laurinaitis??????? "People Power!"

Tag Team
Daniel Bryan and CM Punk Vs Erick Rowan and Luke Harper w/ Bray Wyatt

The dream team simultaneously disrobe their tees like a pair of teasing backyard strippers. Something for everyone.

Punk gives Rowan good opportunity and standing in match action as Bryan falls to beastly Rowan seeking retribution. A powerful double suplex from Rowan on both was enjoyable. Both sweet middle men Bryan and Punk return a good drop of Rowan. Harper enters to a flattened Punk who retaliates with a gut kick and tag of partner. The YES! kicks happen as Bryan and Punk ready themselves. The crowd mention "Ooohh" chants a little too early. Steady yourselves. Punk and Bryan then follow up a good double teaming until foiled by a hard clothesline of Rowan on Punk.

Later moments, Bryan headed up top, to powerbomb which could not complete as Harper stopped and lifted Bryan to drop him instead. Punk attempts to enter as Rowan hurls Punk out. Rowan running splash grabs a two fall. Bryan yells in pain as Rowan drops hard slams on Danny Boy. Both made a great job. Punk was smashed off with a knee before re-entering. Harper pounds Bryan with hard, short moves, halting momentum. Harper hits an impressive back flip backbreaker on Bryan. Cutesy Punk in his yellow pants and smooth hair gains the tag. Dainty Punk climbs atop the turnbuckle, unfortunately double bagging his tights, to drop down hard on Harper.

Punk later attempted to rally fan support in a rather tedious display. Punk seizes and opportunity to climb the turnbuckle and jump over onto Bray Wyatt at ringside, with Rowan caught with them. Punk returns inside to deal with Harper, dropping a neckbreaker. Punk gets an elbow drop from the top for a two fall. Rowan halts a GTS on Harper as Bryan charges in and knees Rowan down. Punk avoids a clothesline and smashes the GTS on Luke Harper to gain the three fall for CM Punk and Daniel Bryan.  

WWE Championship
Randy Orton (c) Vs Big Show

It was predictably a slow progression as is always the case in Big Show/Mark Henry/Ryback/Sheamus matches. Big Show swung a clothesline and sent Orton to the outside for a mesmerising start to the first action in the WWE title match. Show then works Orton in the corner. Later Randy returns control with a dropkick.  

Ten minutes in and crowd chants "this is boring" and "we want Bryan."

Big Show barges Orton with a shoulder block to outside chase. Flung into them, Cena pushes steps as Orton, lands into them. Take note.

Orton grabs Show for the DDT off the top turnbuckle rope as he pokes his tongue then he flexes. Randilicious! 

Big Show then randomly gets a chokeslam for a two fall.

Flexi Orton.
Every chick wants him.
very man wants to be him,
and every man wants to be *n him.
(Insert appropriate vowel)
Oh no! Referee Charles Robinson got knocked down in the muddle. Big Show walks to position as Orton attempts a chair whack. Orton flung over barricade as Show chops and collects. Orton jabs back into the game trying for a DDT as Show smacks a KO punch. He could not have done that at the start of the match.

Show hauls Orton by the thighs into the match. Triple H's music hits on the titantron as he and The Authority appear. Orton plants a huge RKO on a distracted Show. Orton kicked the punt into Big Show's skull as Show moved back and botched the authenticity. Randy Orton soon covered for the three fall to retain the title.

Steph and Hunter applaud Randall as Orton cradles the WWE title twenty minutes before the closing of PPV.

As predicted John Cena arrives and raises the World title. Cena sandwiches himself between Steph and HHH before squaring up with Orton in the ring. World Champ faces WWE champ. Hmm... We previously write about what was coming. The plan for Wrestlemania unification possibility may happen with the heavyweight titles. It shouldn't. We shall see how that one goes. Both raised their titles to the air and did nothing as the PPV drew to a close. Anticlimactic.

PPV Rating - 3/10

Men/Women of their matches - Seth Rollins, Curtis Axel, Tamina, Ryback, Alberto Del Rio, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton

Man/Woman of the PPV - Tamina

For one of WWE's Big 4 PPV's, it was another massive miss. The name is never the problem, but WWE's lack of star names, unique booking and tender thought process to making a positive for what stock they have. Fans and critics are starting to believe they simply don't have what it takes for a future of wrestling psychology in running the show any longer. That's not the best position to be in, ever.

Tamina was the only stronghold of the PPV, alongside Roman Reigns, yet Reigns was not very impressive in what should have been much more eventful for his sole survival boost to main event levelling up. Tamina's appearance in a dreadful diva's destruction outshone everyone on the card with her actions, poise and presentation backed up with sheer aggression and precise skill on offer. Less is more. Obviously, fans require much more.

Seth Rollins was the WWE workhorse that continually impresses and is yet viewed as the lowest factor WWE have. The man should be the slow, secret uprising that no one sees coming instead of being left to rot as WWE are eventually planning in a year's time. Slow burner, keep on it. Build the process tenderly.

Mysterio's return was okay but nothing impressive and didn't boost his or Survivor Series as a grand event.

John Cena lied on the ground so long after Rio did all the work and then followed instructions. The man cannot work and though WWE will, obviously book him, it needs to focus on not ruining all the other talent it has to protect one image alone. They should have vulnerability with a little force in parts between. WWE only has Orton and Cena and the impending title/face of the WWE collision seen a mile off by us, first expressed in this previous article - Cena/Orton Heavyweight title Unifications? This is further evidence where WWE need to think of all avenues than just one man controlling the company.   

Randy Orton worked tremendously once again, but failed to capture interest with the lummox Big Show.

JoJo as fan favourite cheered was only due to one factor. She was the underdog who had not been overly hyped and tested conformity. Plain, inexperienced and only famous for sleeping with Randy Orton as soon as his wife divorced him is going to be costly for the nineteen year old if she does not remain professional.

Layla has been absent from action for roughly six months and hasn't been heard off after making a comment that irked WWE. No one except us picked up on it. The writing could be on the wall for Layla. WWE have a ER policy with its females. In TV drama ER, they would release any female before they reach 40. Layla is 36. She's annoyed people up top. Oooh, Err.

Axel and Langston are as bad as one another. WWE want more muscle men, but its failure to have any that are good is a problem. They are all so generic and bland. Fans greet them with indecision. The action is sloppy and ridiculously unbelievable.

Obnoxious globe trotter Bret Hart on the star panel was an oversight. Washed up and only there for a paycheck, Hart disgraced himself and added no flair to the show. When he isn't busy flying around the world for pop up appearances then back to the US Hart should consider being a professional. Ignorance is not beneficial. Why not give a chance to prove us wrong and make it up? Can you repent?  

Ryback, another mass liability that could injure anyone again, should be erased off the pencil to paper card. There is literally nothing he can do. Get out as soon as you can, he doesn't offer the product or fans anything, and he won't be the golden ticket that books Goldberg to WWE.

Punk/Bryan against The Wyatt family is the new feud to behold. However, this has potential to be either huge, or lukewarm in seconds. All did a capable job but longevity needs to be reassured in strategic management of the program on offer. You can only get so many words from Max Waltham before you run out of steam. I can keep going. Can you sell it? Like, realllllllly selllllll itttttt?

Simply put, Survivor Series was yet 'just another PPV' of lost matches and held no interest. It was one of its worst of its time and that's going through a lot. Kofi Kingston even turned into a disobedient man slapping obnoxious The Miz in the face on the pre-show rather than on the main show. Kofi's rise is on the cards if WWE really strive harder for the guy who can make the transition we spoke of a year ago. Give the audience something from the washout that is simply struggling to survive. Go on now go. Walk out the door... You're Welcome!

©  Max Waltham 27th November 2013

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