Survivor Series 2013
Live
on pay per view on Sunday November 24th from Boston, Massachusetts from the TD Garden
would WWE be able to present a card filled with intrigue, passion and excitement?
Would Survivor Series begin, end or add dramatic tension to feuds in the
company? Or would every question be a rhetorical one?
Triple H and wife Stephanie McMahon opened the show with a brief introduction of two minutes. Starting off is
a five on five traditional Survivors match. Was a minor blip introduction that
added nothing to the show necessary? Stephanie smiled in true happy chick
fashion. Isn't she supposed to be a mischievous witch?
5 on 5 Tag Team Elimination
Rey Mysterio, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso,
Goldust and Cody Rhodes Vs Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro w/ Zeb Colter, Dean
Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins
With the deafening mash up of atrocious
Rhodes Brothers music over, Zeb Colter asked for his team music to stop leading
to a vicious rant instead. Slating Boston for its Tea Party politics and the
audiences' lack of attention span more interested in twerking and tweeting then saw a shameless Cody Rhodes begin an
atrocious rear out twerk as Goldust backtracked away in horror. Stupidities
over, The Shield enter to get the match underway.
Rhodes and Ambrose begin the lock
up. Ambrose sold tremendously for Rhodes during Cody's sloppy exchanges. Rhodes
got a cheap fall up on Dean Ambrose just moments later. Ambrose was in the
match for roughly three minutes. Yes, Dean
Ambrose is eliminated. Everyone soon gets involved, with The Uso's
launching over to the outside taking out everyone. Rhodes heads back in as
Rollins takes charge. Goldust gains a tag to battle the second shielder. Cesaro
joins the fray. Swagger tags in seconds later. Cesaro rejoins. I wonder who
will get swung? Swagger returns. Cesaro gut stomp leapfrogs over Swagger onto
Goldust then working a submissive headlock on Goldie. 'Dust reverses control
with DDT momentum. Cesaro's strength impresses with a gut wrench inverted flip
backbreaker to the front. Swagger countered as Goldie tags in a returning from
injury Rey Mysterio. Rey does the usual comeback routine with set up for 619
connected. Uso tagged in with superkick. Jey Uso takes a tag and drops top rope
splash for a three fall pin to eliminate Jack
Swagger. Cesaro comes back in and delivers huge uppercut prowess. That
should have got three but took two. The super Cesaro swing came next. Jimmy
charges in and gets caught as Cesaro swings Jimmy round again. The crowd count
along for a twenty strong rotation. Rhodes sneaks in to catch a quick roll up
and Antonio Cesaro instantly become
eliminated. That wasn't daft at all.
After corner debate, Reigns
enters the match. Rhodes tags an Uso as Reigns is overworked as the second Uso
is in. Reigns hits a hard jaw elbow. Rollins enters and works over the Uso in
question. Maybe they can wear their names on the back of their tights or
something. They need something distinctive, for sure. Both Shielders could not
fight the Uso's who switched one another with tags and dropped down Reigns.
It's good to see equal standing, but The Shield have been somewhat lacking in
this one. Reigns charges a spear as 
Rey was caught from a baseball
slide under Reigns to smash an enziguri on Roman. Creating distance Rey tags
Goldie in. Reigns makes schoolboy error bedding down to catch Goldust on a rope
run only to get the Goldie, hand smacked onto Reigns. Followed by ten punch
turnbuckle attack. Goldust takes two fall only. The two weigh each other up as
running bulldog from Goldust missed as Reigns hits the spear to eliminate Goldust. Rey launches top attack,
caught on shoulder, reversing Reigns into the 619 rope position. Rey charges at
Reigns who gets up and spears Rey
Mysterio down to the mat to eliminate him and win the match. Roman Reigns eliminated four of the
opposite team as the announce booth inform us. WWE wanted Reigns to go higher
up the list. This one's been earmarked.
After chatting with hubby Tripper
and Kane, Randy popped in for a chat with Steph and The Authority. Instantly
ignored, Orton wanted to check his demands for the evening would be met. Trips
was a little confused and disgruntled with Randall.
Intercontinental Championship
Curtis Axel Vs Big E. Langston (c)
If you missed the pre Survivor
Series Raw, Big E. Langston won the
IC title from Axel in an aggressively bungled bout, last week.
WWE talked up the significance of
the Intercontinental title as Axel and Langston faced one another. The pair
lack credibility. After a lot of lock ups and absurd grunts, Big E stands tall
from Axel's technical arm working. In a flash, Axel's hard work is redundant.
Axel and Big E run the ropes where Bigster uses two leapfrog on the spot jumps
with a hard take down after. Big E needs to slow down and conserve frugal
momentum. Vanilla fighter Axel runs off the outside rope with a flying clothesline
after Big E was stationed outside.
Chants of "You can't wrestle"
plagued the arena as Axel worked down Langston. The direction of the chants
were unclear to who or if indeed both were applied to.
Muscle man Big E takes control
with a few body blows and run splash down onto Axel's almost broke back. Axel
hooked a two fall Fisherman's suplex. The pair do more elbowing. Langston catches a
walking Axel into a Big Ending as Big E. Langston defeats Curtis Axel to lift the Intercontinental championship
again.
Renee Young has snuck into the
ring to interview Big E. Big E said he "didn't want to pander to the
audience in Boston" after mentioning Boston for a cheap pop. He compared
his win to the Boston Red Sox winning the championships. I would compare that
god awful segment to when Ezekiel Jackson was interviewed when he won the IC
title. Jackson lost the title soon after in months of no importance.
AJ and Tamina had a chat with the
gals Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Rosa Mendes and Summer Rae backstage. AJ
plugged tele show Total Divas which was not interested in these spare divas.
"Start your own show by stealing this one tonight" AJ adds before
heading off. Yes. Kaitlyn is a wicked diva now. Yet once again gave a friendly 'poor
me' performance.
7 on 7 Divas Elimination
Natalya, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella,
Naomi, Cameron, JoJo and Eva Marie Vs AJ, Tamina, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox,
Aksana, Summer Rae and Kaitlyn
 |
| Total Divas |
Alicia Fox and Naomi begin the
match up. Fans are a little apathetic of sitting through seven divas used so underwhelmingly.
Naomi's drop down of Fox from top turnbuckle was dreadful as Alicia Fox waited before being
eliminated. Rosa comes in as Cameron double teams with Naomi to shake their
bodies with a split leg double team. It got a two fall. Cameron ran into Rosa,
missing and clumsily hitting her head on the turnbuckle pad allowing Rosa Mendes
to eliminate Cameron as she circles
around in joy. Unbeknownst to Rosa Mendes,
Brie is behind her and hits her for the elimination. Summer Rae comes in and
does her ridiculous dance moves as Brie does the Worm. Summer Rae was eliminated with ease.
WWE are said to be high
on her and Eva Marie. Eva Marie, a lovely lady and fan favourite was instantly
booed to hell upon entering and sparked extreme "You Can't Wrestle" chants
with such ferocity as Kaitlyn quickly backbreaked and pinned
Dropping like flies, Tamina gears
up. Dominant headbutts and a clothesline taking off Nattie from the apron
follow. Tamina impressively works her foot holds on Nikki. JoJo offers a tag as
Nikki is sceptical to accept the novice with no in ring talent experience. JoJo
squares up to Tamina in the newbie's first
in ring debut with Tamina, who tossed her back like a rag doll. Weakling JoJo
gets her feet up to cheers from the crowd as Tamina almost gets cheaply pinned.
Fans cheer once more for the underdog. Tamina wraps it up with a crushing
backbreaker. AJ receives the tag to pin a laid out JoJo. Natalya enters as Tamina heads in. Nikki Bella is
nowhere to be seen.
The pair finally go at it. Tammy smacks her running body
into Nat's head butt first to the corner. Great bodyslams from Tamina, climbing
to the top rope. Tamina launches an excellent highflying Superfly, missing, as
Natalya moved and locks in the devastating Sharpshooter. Tamina tapped out just before AJ ran in and broke the lock up
a second too late. Tamina attempts to come back in as Nikki smashes her off the
apron allowing Natalya to roll over AJ
and lock in the sharpshooter for a submission and victory for Natalya and Nikki Bella. The match was throwaway, however only Tamina kept the dominance
and appeal throughout.
Randy runs into referee for the main event match Charles Robinson backstage. He asked Charles to call the match down the
middle, ignoring their friendship. Asking if he got what he was saying, company
man Robinson told Rand he would do whatever The Authority said.
On the panel show with WWE lovely
Josh Mathews was bestselling author Mick Foley, multiple champ Booker T and the
ignorant sponge 'only back to collect a paycheck' egotist Bret Hart.
Laugh a minute Ryback interrupted
to pick a cheap fight with the "old timers." Simple solution here.
Fire Ryback. The meathead offered an open challenge. Good Lord. Usually jobbers
do this, don't they? Is that rhetorical?
The challenge was answered.
Open Challenge
Ryback Vs Mark Henry
Mark Henry returned as an
honourable man. Wasn't this done before? This is your toilet break guys.
Instantly the pair locked up and pushed one another back. It was the standard
muscle meathead mash up. Push. Stop. Gather breath. Hit one move. Pause. Walk
around. Stop. Lie on ground. Occasional foot stomp. Suplex.
"Goldberg!" Ryback runs into the post and whines comically.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Henry did a headbutt. Then he ran a headbutt on the
ground on all fours. How sad. What a quality match, here. As much a classic as
Undertaker, Rock or Shawn Michael matches, huh?
Henry did a shoulder block again.
Then a clothesline again. Then a backbreaker again. "You can't
wrestle!" as Henry stands watching Ryback. Ryback gets a spinebuster and
pulls his man boobs out in Neanderthal fashion. He ran into a stationary Henry
who picked up and dropped a slam. Mark Henry beat Ryback with a pinfall. It was
entirely meaningless. Henry is next in line to get a WWE title shot, again.
Were back with Joshie now.
"Be careful what you wish for" Booker T adds standing next to humdrum
Bret Hart, who now chips in on an Alberto Del Rio evaluation. Foley follows. Booker
T was the only valuable asset here, along with dependable sweetie Josh Mathews.
Brock was nowhere in sight tonight.
World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio Vs John Cena (c)
Boston's own and the face of the
WWE, World Champion, John Cena began hugging Rio, in hold, landing on the
apron. In armlock Rio was loudly heard informing Cena of instructions how to
work the match. That's right. The World Champion, face of the company and
hometown hero, no less, could not have figured out what to do to give a good
match. The instructions become even louder every takedown into the arm lock.
Cena blocked an action from being
hurled into the steel steps only to be flung into the other corner steps instead.
Cena decided to run into them and visibly pushed the steps away. Disgraceful.
Cena ran into a clothesline. Cena
jump up dropkicks after Rio sits atop the turnbuckle to drop down on Cena. Cena
booed loudly as he backbreaks Rio in centre position. Rio halts the progress
with a counter.
Rio beats a seven count. Cena
swiftly does the five knuckle shuffle clearly seen hastily missing the knuckle
hitting Rio nowhere near connection anywhere, in a shameful process of botchdom.
Cena tornado DDT's Rio as he purposely walks into Cena's path to allow him to
do so. Cena is insanely weak as a performer but this may just be his worst in
many times. Rio whacks an enziguri. Cena's in ring behaviour is simply sloppy
and inexcusable. The crowd's frustration would not be ignored any longer. The
"Cena Sucks!" chants were twice as loud and aggressive to explain the
upset of performance on offer. Some countered with mild Cena bias, as they
often do. The point however, can no longer be ignored. It's a serious one WWE
need to address. Fans will not take much more.
Cena reversed the cross arm
breaker into an STF. Rio, after a long hold on, touched the rope with a finger.
That's all it takes to break. Cena didn't lock the arms on at all, once again.
Rio hit a kick and two fall. Cena took a quick neckbreaker out of nowhere for a
tense two fall.
Cena climbs the turnbuckle again
to softly land onto Rio. Locked in an armbreaker Cena comically says "Oh,
Oh" until picking up as super strength kicked in on Rio, in hold, once
more to hurl him off so tediously. Cena reversed Rio into a quick, unseen
Attitude Adjustment to grab a three fall on Alberto Del Rio as John Cena easily raises the World
title.
Cena chose to be obnoxious once
again and hold the World title in front of centre row disagreement with a sea
of signs proclaiming disappointment.
Santino and R-Truth debated who
would win Money in the Bank. They chose to play and plug the new merchandise as
Los Matadores and Fandango make appearances. In walks blast from the past John
Laurinaitis??????? "People Power!"
Tag Team
Daniel Bryan and CM Punk Vs Erick
Rowan and Luke Harper w/ Bray Wyatt
The dream team simultaneously
disrobe their tees like a pair of teasing backyard strippers. Something for
everyone.
Punk gives Rowan good opportunity
and standing in match action as Bryan falls to beastly Rowan seeking
retribution. A powerful double suplex from Rowan on both was enjoyable. Both
sweet middle men Bryan and Punk return a good drop of Rowan. Harper enters to a
flattened Punk who retaliates with a gut kick and tag of partner. The YES!
kicks happen as Bryan and Punk ready themselves. The crowd mention "Ooohh"
chants a little too early. Steady yourselves. Punk and Bryan then follow up a
good double teaming until foiled by a hard clothesline of Rowan on Punk.
Later moments, Bryan headed up
top, to powerbomb which could not complete as Harper stopped and lifted Bryan to
drop him instead. Punk attempts to enter as Rowan hurls Punk out. Rowan running
splash grabs a two fall. Bryan yells in pain as Rowan drops hard slams on Danny
Boy. Both made a great job. Punk was smashed off with a knee before re-entering.
Harper pounds Bryan with hard, short moves, halting momentum. Harper hits an
impressive back flip backbreaker on Bryan. Cutesy Punk in his yellow pants and
smooth hair gains the tag. Dainty Punk climbs atop the turnbuckle,
unfortunately double bagging his tights, to drop down hard on Harper.
Punk later attempted to rally fan
support in a rather tedious display. Punk seizes and opportunity to climb the
turnbuckle and jump over onto Bray Wyatt at ringside, with Rowan caught with
them. Punk returns inside to deal with Harper, dropping a neckbreaker. Punk gets
an elbow drop from the top for a two fall. Rowan halts a GTS on Harper as Bryan
charges in and knees Rowan down. Punk avoids a clothesline and smashes the GTS
on Luke Harper to gain the three fall for CM
Punk and Daniel Bryan.
WWE Championship
Randy Orton (c) Vs Big Show
It was predictably a slow
progression as is always the case in Big Show/Mark Henry/Ryback/Sheamus
matches. Big Show swung a clothesline and sent Orton to the outside for a mesmerising
start to the first action in the WWE title match. Show then works Orton in the
corner. Later Randy returns control with a dropkick.
Ten minutes in and crowd chants
"this is boring" and "we want Bryan."
Big Show barges Orton with a
shoulder block to outside chase. Flung into them, Cena pushes steps as Orton, lands into
them. Take note.
Orton grabs Show for the DDT off
the top turnbuckle rope as he pokes his tongue then he flexes. Randilicious!
Big Show then randomly gets a
chokeslam for a two fall.
 |
| Flexi Orton. Every chick wants him. Every man wants to be him, and every man wants to be *n him. (Insert appropriate vowel) |
Oh no! Referee Charles Robinson
got knocked down in the muddle. Big Show walks to position as Orton attempts a chair whack.
Orton flung over barricade as Show chops and collects. Orton jabs back into the
game trying for a DDT as Show smacks a KO punch. He could not have done that at
the start of the match.
Show hauls Orton by the thighs
into the match. Triple H's music hits on the titantron as he and The Authority
appear. Orton plants a huge RKO on a distracted Show. Orton kicked the punt
into Big Show's skull as Show moved back and botched the authenticity. Randy Orton soon covered for the three fall to retain the title.
Steph and Hunter applaud Randall
as Orton cradles the WWE title twenty minutes before the closing of PPV.
As predicted John Cena arrives
and raises the World title. Cena sandwiches himself between Steph and HHH
before squaring up with Orton in the ring. World Champ faces WWE champ. Hmm...
We previously write about what was coming. The plan for Wrestlemania
unification possibility may happen with the heavyweight titles. It shouldn't.
We shall see how that one goes. Both raised their titles to the air and did
nothing as the PPV drew to a close. Anticlimactic.
PPV Rating - 3/10
Men/Women of their matches - Seth
Rollins, Curtis Axel, Tamina, Ryback, Alberto Del Rio, Daniel Bryan, Randy
Orton
Man/Woman of the PPV - Tamina
For one of WWE's Big 4 PPV's, it
was another massive miss. The name is never the problem, but WWE's lack of star
names, unique booking and tender thought process to making a positive for what
stock they have. Fans and critics are starting to believe they simply don't
have what it takes for a future of wrestling psychology in running the show any
longer. That's not the best position to be in, ever.
Tamina was the only stronghold of
the PPV, alongside Roman Reigns, yet Reigns was not very impressive in what
should have been much more eventful for his sole survival boost to main event
levelling up. Tamina's appearance in a dreadful diva's destruction outshone
everyone on the card with her actions, poise and presentation backed up with
sheer aggression and precise skill on offer. Less is more. Obviously, fans
require much more.
Seth Rollins was the WWE
workhorse that continually impresses and is yet viewed as the lowest factor WWE
have. The man should be the slow, secret uprising that no one sees coming
instead of being left to rot as WWE are eventually planning in a year's time.
Slow burner, keep on it. Build the process tenderly.
Mysterio's return was okay but
nothing impressive and didn't boost his or Survivor Series as a grand event.
John Cena lied on the ground so
long after Rio did all the work and then followed instructions. The man cannot
work and though WWE will, obviously book him, it needs to focus on not ruining
all the other talent it has to protect one image alone. They should have vulnerability
with a little force in parts between. WWE only has Orton and Cena and the
impending title/face of the WWE collision seen a mile off by us, first
expressed in this previous article
- Cena/Orton Heavyweight title Unifications? This is further evidence where WWE need
to think of all avenues than just one man controlling the company.
Randy Orton worked tremendously
once again, but failed to capture interest with the lummox Big Show.
JoJo as fan favourite cheered was
only due to one factor. She was the underdog who had not been overly hyped and
tested conformity. Plain, inexperienced and only famous for sleeping with Randy
Orton as soon as his wife divorced him is going to be costly for the nineteen
year old if she does not remain professional.
Layla has been absent from action
for roughly six months and hasn't been heard off after making a comment that
irked WWE. No one except us picked up on it. The writing could be on the wall
for Layla. WWE have a ER policy with
its females. In TV drama ER, they
would release any female before they reach 40. Layla is 36. She's annoyed
people up top. Oooh, Err.
Axel and Langston are as bad as
one another. WWE want more muscle men, but its failure to have any that are
good is a problem. They are all so generic and bland. Fans greet them with
indecision. The action is sloppy and ridiculously unbelievable.
Obnoxious globe trotter Bret Hart
on the star panel was an oversight. Washed up and only there for a paycheck, Hart
disgraced himself and added no flair to the show. When he isn't busy flying
around the world for pop up appearances then back to the US Hart should consider
being a professional. Ignorance is not beneficial. Why not give a chance to
prove us wrong and make it up? Can you repent?
Ryback, another mass liability
that could injure anyone again, should be erased off the pencil to paper card.
There is literally nothing he can do. Get out as soon as you can, he doesn't
offer the product or fans anything, and he won't be the golden ticket that
books Goldberg to WWE.
Punk/Bryan against The Wyatt
family is the new feud to behold. However, this has potential to be either
huge, or lukewarm in seconds. All did a capable job but longevity needs to be
reassured in strategic management of the program on offer. You can only get so
many words from Max Waltham before you run out of steam. I can keep going. Can
you sell it? Like, realllllllly selllllll itttttt?
Simply put, Survivor Series was
yet 'just another PPV' of lost matches and held no interest. It was one of its
worst of its time and that's going through a lot. Kofi Kingston even turned
into a disobedient man slapping obnoxious The Miz in the face on the pre-show
rather than on the main show. Kofi's rise is on the cards if WWE really strive
harder for the guy who can make the transition we spoke of a year ago. Give the
audience something from the washout that is simply struggling to survive. Go on
now go. Walk out the door... You're Welcome!
© Max Waltham 27th November 2013
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