Summerslam 2013

Summerslam 2013

The Miz is the host of the "26th annual Summerslam with two main events" being CM Punk/ Brock Lesnar and the WWE Championship match. Coming live from the Staples Centre in Los Angeles, California, live on Sunday August 18th WWE aimed to kick the Summer into orbit with a groundbreaking standpoint. Did it manage to achieve such desire?

Fandango interrupts with Summer Rae. Hey, it's Summerslam. 'Summer' Rae. You know...

Total Divas' very own new Diva JoJo opened with a rendition of America The Beautiful. Well, they left it off of Wrestlemania as traditionally sang so made it up here. JoJo gave a powerful and beautiful rendition. WWE has hired a diva with some talent, for once. Who knew?

Ring of Fire
Kane Vs Bray Wyatt

The fire around the ring begins to burn. The only way to win is by pinfall or submission. No countout or Disqualifications apply.

Fire surrounds the ring apron locking both competitors inside the ring as no one can get inside without being burned. Wyatt's Family look on at ringside in support. The wasteland scrud Wyatt was allowed no real offence to drive Kane's anger. The focus was on his brother's aiming to enter and pass foreign objects to Bray. One instance saw a passing of a kendo stick, to which was burned among passing into the ring. 

Fire Marshall's stationed at ringside extinguished the fiery stick, forcing a limp reaction. Kane works Bray over as his brothers outside use a fire mat from the Marshall's to dampen the flames out and enter the ring to beat down Kane. Harper lands a splash on the fire breathen. Regaining control, Bray Wyatt signals the kiss goodbye and drops Kane face first to the mat to secure the three fall and win the opening match of SummerSlam.

Cody Rhodes Vs Damien Sandow

Even his lame attempts to gather appeal
with his crotch were uninteresting.

The revenge match aired with a limp noodle Cody Rhodes fighting his former pal Damien Sandow. Rhodes has finally shaved his moustache in the hope of becoming relevant. The intellectual was made to look weak intentionally as all MITB victory holders of length do in order to hide the chance of shock cash in from being predictable. Losing to some drab squib like Rhodes however was not worthwhile for WWE.  

Ignorant Rhodes, who cost himself at Money In The Bank for being over zealous and wrongly assumptive, Sandow was on the defensive tonight to build Cody Rhodes up and was granted the victory only to keep the feud going. It doesn't have as much mileage as WWE anticipate as Rhodes is five years past his peak and cannot feasibly head towards title contention or as a strong midcarder any longer. He can still be a 'support structure' that props people up to greater things. 

With Sheamus injured for six months, a bad turn on the possible horizon and no strong hero on Smackdown, WWE are getting desperate. They need someone young, fresh and fairly consistent with the public. Candidates range from RVD, Christian and The Miz. However all three of them are too stagnant and meek. It should turn Antonio Cesaro and put him up there with the rugby socks back on. Desperate times call for certain measures. Wade Barrett is a waste of time. WWE cannot keep shoving boring Big Show and Mark Henry into the frame any more. Now is the perfect time to make someone new.

Alberto Del Rio (c) Vs Christian

A good challenger who can make competition and drive champion prestige further on either end of the spectrum Christian is able to hold his own. WWE may not wish to fully devote the World or heavyweight titles to him, but he can hold prominence in the roles of main event. 

WWE should consider him for a title run however, in Del Rio's boredom and a fresh change as Smackdown needs a strong babyface right now and Christian is a hot favourite.

Aiming to be a Latin American role model, and as champion, Del Rio addressed his crowd in Spanish for some appeal. He received it. Christian entered a strong and technical heartfelt fight in this challenge with the World champ and also took to the heights of the WWE Universe. Fans chanted "This is awesome" as Rio launches kicks, ducked by Christian gaining a quick two count rollup followed by a ferocious spear. However, this pained his arm and Alberto Del Rio sought an opportunity to wrench Christian's arm and add even more intense pressure to tap out the challenger and remain World Heavyweight champion.   

Earlier in the day there was an event to interest SummerSlam for the evening where Maria Menonous was once again drafted in for an appearance. Oh ffs... More Total Divas usage was shown afterward.

Fandango and dancer Summer Rae waltz on.

Miz and Maria embarrass the pair by adding their own ballroom dance. You ain't no Richard Gere, luv.

Natalya w/ Cameron and Naomi Vs Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella and Eva Marie 

Brie issued the loser taunt and added a slap. Nat came right back as a slap fest ensued. Legs flip for the sharpshooter was attempted. Brie wriggled to the ropes. Bella number two and Eva Marie soon ripped the ring apron wide across causing Natalya to fall. Regaining her composure  Brie from inside smashed Nattie in the back with a baseball slide to outside. 

JBL added he might help the divas, if necessary  Jerry added he may too. I wonder if Jerry will help with Eva Marie? Marie disagreed with Lawler on Raw weeks prior in her debut adding "I don't like how you're lookin' at me" before slapping Jerry hard across the face.It was a well portrayed scene from both. 

Chin lock on Nattie. Drop down shoulder to face. Legs of Brie were reapplied into the Sharp Shooter. Brie countered the leg lock and flung Nat in the turnbuckle hard. This was a good enactment. Outside help began from the naughty girls as Team Funkys came round to sort it out as Cameron and Naomi took them down. Brie yelled at Natalya to "give up!" who responds "No." Knee to the face follows in a counter with an Alabama slam into the fabled sharp shooter once more. It would not be third time lucky. Brie Bella taps to Natalya as she cranked up the pressure on the submission.

Ryback childishly  has now resorted to childishly picking fights mimicking backstage staff nobodies, this time in catering. Ryback's complaint was the gazpacho was cold and also poured the soup all down his top. "Your like a three year old."What are we gonna do with you." Ryback replied. He finished by tipping the ta-gene over his head. "Feed me moron."

Has resorted to jobber bashing again.

No Disqualification

CM Punk Vs Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman

Hear me roar, kiss my grits!

This one was billed as "The Best Vs The Beast." (You can find "The Beast" donation theft came from Wrestling Wonders months ago.    

"Fight for what you believe in. Thats what it takes to be a WWE champion."

I owe my career to Paul Heyman."  - CM Punk begins.

"There is nobody like me."

Do WWE want me to pick one to meld? 

Beanie babe Brock arrived with a sombre black trunked intensity. 

Naturally Punk V Lesnar was going to have a MMA style attached due to Brock's background, however, this was about one thing, retribution. Several distractions from Paul Heyman in Lesnar's corner added to the highlights. The last minute addition was a No DQ stipulation. 

JBL stated no holds barred favoured the bewast. Its a No DQ at the moment. 

Charge into instantly as Brock lifts Punk into the corner and beats down despite a minor comeback. Heyman was happy. Punk was tossed and hurled all over the corners. 

"This is my house." Brock bellows. 

High knee charges in Punk's favour. Torpedo dive followed. 

Punk was allowed to retain high levels of action mirrored by Lesnar. Both were booked as equals in the match structure  Lesnar dominated Punk however both Punk lost nothing in the bout with his credibility and the pair had an outstanding match. Lesnar used chairs and hurled Punk over the announce table. Hard slams into the panels conveyed immense pain as fans laughed at Punk's plight. Lesnar smirked in delight for his brutal retribution driving home a moral point.

Punk returned in ring with grappling technicality on the powerhouse. Punk continued his high flying repertoire which is relied on too much in terms of when Punk has control the only seeming option is to go up top, which can be a problem with fans. Punk later ground worked armbar submissions on Beasty Brock. 

CM Punk tried to counter a tough F5 from the beast as he got to the corner atop Lesnar's unwavering shoulders where Paul Heyman's tie was grabbed by Punk as Heyman screamed for Lesnar's help which cost him as Punk knocked a GTS on Brock for a near three fall. Lesnar's unbuckling support for Heyman is an admirable trait many can learn from. When Lesnar is off televison for longer periods WWE will have to find an adequate Waltham replacement for a sustained amount of time. 

Heyman got invovled again as Punk trapped him in the Anacondua Vice only for Brock to smash a already in ring chair on Punk's back. Brock Lesnar prepped and threw Punk down onto the chair with a crushing F5 to silence CM Punk with a three fall victory. 

WWE have tried to play off both aspects of Waltham's help and own gusto here in all three men which has been interesting to watch. Is this a manifestation of one in three parts, or is this a cheap way to gain heat because if the moral shell of Waltham was placed into just one, the other two would have lacking qualities to identify with?  Before the match on Raw, WWE chose Heyman, Punk, Lesnar and Bryan as weekly Waltham identification which was a little flattering and profound. So WWE, which one/s are we? Do tell us. 

The crowd were raucuously hot for this match in both camps. When real strong options are presented to two strong representations for fans and a stroyline point, WWE can achieve its goals needed. 

Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn Vs Big E Langston and AJ

The filler match replay of Wrestlemania 27 returned. This was the best it could do. We've been clear on this before but though they won't wish to send him away for media tours and all that, if Dolph can't work Langston up, which is not going well and doesn't seem like Big E has the charisma or technique to do so neither should be on primetime and should also be considered for the new year cull. Its time for more investable characters people really can relate to. Even if they are jobbers. 

AJ dominated Kaitlyn with a mild round around spin and jump onto Kaitlyn which was very slow. Dolph came in with Big E as Mr.Ziggles got a few elbow drops before being smashed by Langston.  AJ grabbed Ziggler's foot from outside as Kaitlyn ran a rather reckless and spear with such liability that was really daft. It wasn't planned to be that potentially hurtful. Langston hit a clothesline for a two fall. Dolph Ziggler then simply hit a ZigZag from behind to gain a three fall nothing win. 

WWE Championship

Special Referee (Triple H)

John Cena (c) Vs Daniel Bryan

Hard and boring to get into from the get go, this one was approved a lengthy amount of time due to Bryan being seen as a capable force for the company whilst Cena takes leave for injury recoup. Bryan can be called upon and is working well with storylines but is somewhat lacking when the same drawn out scene happens again and again and heavily relied on to carry him when he has a number of qualities to excel for him. The feeling (from both) was sluggish and tiresome to fully get into.

Cena lift, slam counter instead of the Attitude Adjustment. Cena pain. Bryan to feet, climbs. Jump. Caught by Cena. AA reversed into a small package missed at two only. Clipped kick to side of Cena head. Bryan run head kick badly botched to score a three fall on John Cena as Daniel Bryan won the WWE championship.  

Cena talks with Triple H about the decision. HHH pats Bryan on back to congratulate as Cena whips Bryan round to face him. Cena extends a hand of good will and shakes Triple H's hand too. 

Bryan and Cena fought previously on
Velocity in the early 2000s

Triple H continually keeps tapping Bryan in congratulations on the body as a 'good job' notion. It's getting annoying and continual. Hmm...

Randy Orton's music hits. He arrives down the ramp. Orton signals briefcase to the air. Bryan readies himself as Randy turns away and leaves. Orton turns back as HHH pedigree's Bryan into the mat from behind for Orton to charge ahead and cash in the case. 

WWE Championship

Special Referee (Triple H)

Randy Orton Vs Daniel Bryan (c)

Oops he caught us lookin' at the green confetti :)
Let me stamp you.

Randy Orton quickly cashed in an opportunity after Triple H pedigreed new champion Daniel Bryan after his victory. Orton gave Bryan courtesy to rise to his feet to suffer a pummeling RKO for Randy Orton to win his "seventh" WWE championship. Bryan was champion for a matter of literally just over two minutes. 

Yo Dixie! Sort ya sh*t out!

PPV Rating - 5/10

Men/Women of their matches - Kane, Damien Sandow, Christian, Natalya, Brock Lesnar, AJ, Daniel Bryan, Daniel Bryan

Man/Woman of the PPV - Randy Orton

The ring of fire usage from Wrestling Wonders in last months MITB review was a failure. It failed because the idea was looted and then implemented without any strong character and only to prove some point to Wrestling Wonders. Does that mean we owe you another one now?

Christian was said to be "heartbroken" at his World title loss and will presumably drop off the card. WWE need to book strong forces for Del Rio, Sandow and the main event structure in the absence of Sheamus and the lack of anyone interesting as an honourable man. As stated above in the match analysis, it should switch Antonio Cesaro pronto to work with Sandow while Del Rio finds another to dabble with, potentially RVD. 

Beanie babe Brock.

CM Punk and Lesnar tore the house down once again. It is another consideration of Match of the year. Granted, it isn't as amazing as their other standings, but both Punk and Brock are entering strong appearances on their own merits. 

Natalya finally got a big win from WWE endorsements. WWE need to propel here to the Divas title. We have said this more than enough times. The Divas are a sorry and defunct division but WWE's obsession with E's Total Divas was proof enough the females have strong drawing promise given the right opportunities.

Kaitlyn and Ziggler were the filler match. WWE felt this was the best place for them and it was. It should limit them to short matches, building others before it figures what to do with them. The same goes for Langston. Obviously AJ has more stock value to WWE. It, however really should consider Ziggler, Swagger and Langston for the next batch of purse saving strategies. It is unfortunate but there are no signs of growth. Wade Barrett also joins them and it should consider firing Ryback. An extraordinary claim but it isn't working and will never be over. Save your money and grow the future. 2014 does not require brick muscle meatheads. Hire replacements. Don't bring in Matt Morgan, he's the exact same calamity waiting to happen. 

Daniel Bryan was so over that he had to win the title and WWE felt with Cena injured, and to protect Cena's champion image, Bryan was aqeuate for the fall. Bryan was allowed to be transtional champion for all off a matter of minutes. There was absoultely no way Bryan would be champion of WWE, yet. At least Triple H was able to impress daddy. 

Randy Orton's unseen diversion was a welcomed sight and has proven popular. The alliance with the McMahon family is somewhat interesting but takes slightly away from him after the praise Triple H title reign responsibility. Orton needed to have some credential on his own merit too. Orton is no set to keep WWE bubbling over comfortably. It was his time. Cena is out, Punk just finished and we need some interest in the scene. Orton will be able to guide others towards the top with him and contain the cherry of WWE for himself. Fans had been waiting years for another Orton reign. 

©  Max Waltham 21st August 2013