WWE Hell in a Cell
2017
Switching up the PPV's once more, this time Smackdown was given the Hell in a Cell gimmick card, laced with Shane 'he'll do a spot' McMahon trying to get over some random fat boy who has failed to ignite Independent scenes as well as WWE viewers rapidly dropping ratings than pounds.
Other card skirmishes were random filler, but would they stand out or just be another afterthought?
Live on Pay Per View from the Little Caesars Arena on Sunday 08th October, 2017, Hell in a Cell began.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
Hell in a Cell
Tag Team
The Uso's Vs The New Day, Big E and Xavier Woods (c) w/ Kofi Kingston
In its repeat series, WWE randomly returned the Smackdown tag titles to the New Day trio of lunatics. Nothing new from their stale Raw days then.
They fought, as champions, with spare wheel Xavier Woods, against The Uso's.
The Uso's held the match together with laced skills and technique to really shine their greatest after we've constantly pointed that out to WWE, who seem to hate The Uso's based on talent than worthless sex pest Woods and over-towering tank Big E.
The Uso's regained the titles they should never have lost in WWE's attempts to create some excitement to title switches. They tend to switch the wrong titles in the first place, and to its new holders is very questionable concern.
The Uso's shone but it was simply a basic match, despite huge effort from the guys as WWE have done a number on them, along with the dreadful back alley black gangs stereotype which had no real feeling of interaction to fans.
Randy Orton Vs Rusev
What should be a motion epic of key players sidetracked from main event successes was another forgettable match despite huge talents in both corners.
WWE have grown bored of both men, who are two of the only selling points of the brand and company to date. WWE seem to alienate their own strengths, which makes investors and fans rightly worry how delusional WWE's marketing strategies are affecting the actual 'sports entertainment' values.
Once more like previous bouts of embarrassing Rusev, whom WWE now hate, had Randy Orton pummel through with another blasting RKO, which was well done by both, but again, forgettable like its previous bouts over the last two months.
WWE United States Championship
Triple Threat
AJ Styles (c) Vs Baron Corbin Vs Tye Dillinger
 |
| A perfect 0. |
With Baron Corbin in the dog house over the last month for speaking out, and losing his heavyweight title chance, he was given credible booking tonight in efforts to shock the fans on what they do or don't know from fanzine dirt sheet rags.
Tye Dillinger was there as many knew, to take the pinfall. AJ Styles smashed him with the odd finisher thingy as Baron Corbin snuck in, rolled Styles out the ring and clambered over Dillinger to secure the 1-2-3 and lift the United States Championship.
It was a poor run through, highly forgettable, with sloppy interactions, AJ spot monkey acrobatics and an ever floundering Corbin who still hasn't gotten over in three years. It was a welcome change from the looney tune in Styles clogging up WWE titles like the Indy luvvies that killed all progress. It's too little too late, as WWE endorsed such actions that devalued all its lineage.
Title holders and in this case, are simply cushion warmers for random straps of zero value.
WWE Smackdown Women's championship
Natalya (c) Vs Charlotte Flair
In the same old repeat stereotype of 'Women's' matches consisting of Natalya carrying Charlotte every year and WWE's obsession with devaluing its remaining roster for favourites of their daddies, the 'E served another typically useless end.
Charlotte Flair won the match, as predicted, once again, (yawn) by disqualification, making sure Natalya kept her title but again looked like another useless defender of the gold to invaluable (to WWE) blank canvas Charlotte, who still hasn't improved as much as she should have.
The so called Women's Revolution that Max Waltham birthed, based on female respect, distorted by WWE's airheads in Triple H and Stephanie Mc'media'Man was again another defunct selling point of laughability that only WWE don't seem to see.
WWE Championship
Jinder Mahal (c) w/ The Singh Brothers Vs Shinsuke Nakamura
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| Roids. Something to be proud of. |
WWE's Smackdown and even Raw shows have lost massive numbers of attendances, ratings and ticket sales. They gave the title to Mahal, whom they made up as a terrorist type who takes steroids and gets rewarded as its main star, who used to be the fluffer on its lowest shows beforehand.
Mahal isn't even Indian, he's Canadian.
Jinder Mahal predictably won in the standard involvements and side attraction distortion to remain WWE's weakest WWE champion to date.
Many believe he's keeping the seat warm for AJ Styles, where WWE once again, has no talent on offer. WWE will naturally make an even bigger mistake. Isn't it wonderful?
The action was sluggish, boring and empty filler with another acrobatic fool involved with a steroid junkie jobber.
WWE quality at its finest.
Dolph Ziggler Vs Booby Roode
The debut of another NXT/TNA fluffer who is in serious need of a charisma and personality transplant, namely Bobby Roode took on resident back layer Dolph Ziggler.
Bobby Roode, another of Triple H's fandom funsies, was given the win, who also tried to be HHH in TNA, which failed pitifully, to fail in WWE too.
 |
| Flabs. |
It's okay, Roode has the NXT luvvies and Indy marks in his corner as every NXT call up does. They only last for fifteen minutes before they fizzle out as another in a long line of ignorance hires. Thanks for coming.
Another sluggish and piss poor match, where Roode from his TNA days still hasn't learnt how to apply effective holds and transitions with clunky footing is a bloody disaster right of the bat that WWE hope to avoid. WWE make themselves the biggest mark instead now. It won't get over, because Roode is entirely hopeless like all else before him. WWE don't seem to see the real world in its clouded environment. Not my problem though, is it?
Oh yeah, Dolph Ziggler was involved in this somewhere, if you remember him.
Falls Count Anywhere
Hell in a Cell
Shane McMahon Vs Kevin Owens
In its continued failed efforts to get Kevin 'hapless' Owens over, they needed the McMahon's involved. That made it even worse. Vince McMahon came to Smackdown only to be headbutted and suffer a bloody forehead. They raved it was a success. It was dreadful. Owens' headbutt barely connected, his gut bounced McMahon and the spot was bungled. McMahon looked an even bigger fool for allowing such idiocy. he was allowed to bleed on television too, which once more abuses the rules set out for everyone else. Performers are fined huge sums if they purposely bleed on screen. Even Vince's spritely daughter of media whorism, Stephanie, came to supply a towel for her daddy. How empowering, girl. |
| Christ almighty. |
The ego is real, and Triple H is the problem with WWE's hiring fandom markism of his own failed brain cells more like a brain-fart. The Airhead era is solely on him at this point and his natural wife Stephanie has jumped on the bandwagon to defend her man, which has put her in a vulnerable position as the other half of the lunacy. Vince has always been keen to protect his daughter from the business side of gritty problems, yet has fully encouraged her to jump in head first. Children.
Aside from the politics of WWE, which is widely affecting everything, the on-screen involvement of Owens-Shane O was bloody horrendous. Owens did his routine roll out of the ring after being tired out from a couple of whines and falbby punches that had no level main event quality.
It was all about spots and gimmicks as fans knew.
Big Kev was only there to try and relive his Indy darling days of crushing his body in 'hardcore-ish' 'stuff' including a copycat moment where Shane McMahon jumped off the top of the Cell onto an outside table where Owens was atop. A copy of The Undertaker-Wrestlemania battle was another sigh of pathetic repetition. WWE really do have nothing left do they?
It was also reckless of Shane O to throw himself into the table yet again, risking his entire life for real, over some guy who will never get over, in a cheap match that was all about "holy sh*t" moments and no actual talent.
Sami Zayn was at ringside and pulled Big Kev off the table so Shane would land through it and Kevin Owens could win another tainted and useless jobber victory with zero talent involved.
Wherever Kevin Owens is, so is Sami Zayn. The pair are a pathetic and lost attraction who failed to draw in singles collisions done to death. Now they are back together as pals which makes them and WWE look entirely feeble and as useless as the acrobats.
It was just sad.
A week before the PPV, Owens and Zayn in a singles match main event on Smackdown pulled another of the shows lowest ever ratings. WWE are completely clueless and heading down the WCW-TNA-Dixie Carter-Jeff Jarrett route of self implosion.
Why any cable company/network would continue this downward spiral would be absurdly delusional.
WWE is no longer profitable and without the most important people involved in the business, WWE has got no selling points whatsoever.
You're Welcome.
PPV Rating - 0/10
Men/Women of their matches - Jey Uso, Rusev, Baron Corbin, Natalya, No one was good enough, Dolph Ziggler, Shane McMahon
Man/Woman of the PPV - No one
WWE's Hell in a Cell has achieved history. It is the first EVER PPV to receive a ZERO (0) rating. Pitiful and wasteful to the core, WWE really need to wake up to serious concerns in front of its disastrous programming.
HIAC is officially the WORST PPV of 2017 thus far and probably will be.
Repetitive, lack of story, no feeling and useless fluffers with WWE's lost ideal, media obsessions and product failings cannot go unnoticed. WWE is a sheer mess right now and WWE have go NO idea what to do to improve it from their board room brain farts.
That's their problem though, isn't it?
Shane McMahon's dive may as well have been a nosedive, just like Owens' drop of the ratings rather than himself.
Zayn still doesn't have a role and no one cares yet again.
Natalya/Charlotte is the official Cena/Orton/Triple H saga that distilled WWE years before its injury served retribution for on air failings. No one cares about Nat/Char LXXVI (that's 76 for all lazy bone, brainless WWE staffers).
Bobby Roode, what another laugh WWE serve up.
Followed by the absurdity of a terrorist junkie fluffer and an acrobatic nobody needing a flyswatter. HaHaHa.
Tag battle in a Cage. Oooh, haven't seen that for a while. The result is exactly why. Yeah, that's a great idea. Airhead decisions with no legitimacy.
Baron Corbin did it. Only because everyone else is so pitiful as an option. Meh.
WWE's future is bleaker than ever and with more PPV's like this and no solid ideas or strategies on how to outline the future, WWE is in worse a position than ever before, and no one ever thought that a possibility. However, now it is more closer than ever before.
Vince McMahon won't be around forever, the brash McMahon's in Steph and Triple H hate those who help, yet they need more than daft hires and wrong media fluff to try and sell a couple of tickets. |
| The Airhead Era. |
No-one in WWE has their head screwed on right and even Shane McMahon disappointed with his latest program. WWE is severely flawed and needs to get it's head out of its ass and into the, ahem, game. No Triple H, lose your ego, it doesn't men you, just because it was once a similar named monkier.
Start being a professional, but then again, many believe WWE has none and that is exactly why its ego and hate fuelled toxicity in its environment has caused a serious problem for its coming future.
We will have to see if WWE truly care about their place in the world, than jumping on a flight to talk a two minute nonsense for a quick moment of love that mean absolutely nothing long term.
You're Welcome.
© Max Waltham 12th October 2017
All Rights Reserved
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