WWE Money in the Bank 2017
Seeing as WWE could not be bothered with such a performance show, this review will take a report/notes format in certain areas. WWE clearly don't care.
Live on Pay Per View, on Sunday June 18th, from the Scottrade Center in St Louis, Missouri, fresh in Randy Orton town and full of eager fans to watch, WWE still pulled in less than attractive audience viewers despite its mask to cover its ratings woes. This PPV was now sent exclusively to the Smackdown brand instead of both shows. Would Money in the Bank be the glorious show it has always been respected for, to create a new talent from scratch? Or would it be the same tired out format of thrills, spills and uneventful acrobatics on repeat tussling for the dangling delight?
Let's find out.
Money in the Bank
Fatal 5 Way
Tamina Vs Carmella w/ James Ellsworth Vs Charlotte Flair Vs Becky Lynch Vs Natalya
To try and capitalise further on WWE's failed concept of female empowerment, the Women's come Diva's Revolution clearly petered out. The five man battle was somewhat laughable but had a surprising air of interest from the set off. Though it wouldn't last into the main crux of the bout.
Natalya having to be the one woman powerhouse working the match whilst Tamina played the roll of beat down dogsbody. Bit tepid & rushed.
Charlotte stops Nattie on the ladder as she and Carmella set the top ladder tussles. Charlotte tries to hook the case as Carmella stops and Tamina shoves the ladder over from below from retribution.
Nattie ladder jabs to Tamina.
Crowds cheer "This is Awesome". there wasn't much to make it awesome except for the thrills and spills quick spots, but it had an air of interest in recent WWE messes before it on Pay Per View. Fans will cheer for anything remotely tame and that is not going to help cover diva failings of higher quality for chance moments.
Carmella smash Becky into corner ladder who failed to sell the smash as Carmella flips a Hurricanarana very well to be centre focus setting and climbing the steel stairway.
Charlotte takes command and is now at the top as is the standard run through of Money in the Bank matches of everyone all over the place and getting their turns. The tired format is starting to really drain the momentum of all these specific ladder matches on repeat.
All were taken to the outside as Tamina, Nattie and Charlotte felt the Moonsault flip from Ms Flair to the outside. Carmella was back inside setting the ladder, which had the same stance of Carmella setting three times in five minutes, which doesn't make her look her best among the other show stealers.
James Ellsworth climbs to the top of the ladder and unhooks the briefcase as he drops it to Carmella, who grabs the victory. The referees argue for a disputed restart as Carmella clutches the case. Fans are livid at the dodgy ending, as Carmella is announced by Ellsworth as the victor. The motion stands as legit in WWE absurd rules. Previously they have had unhooks but whoever holds it when on the ground is in charge.
It was obvious but made Carmella look weak.
WWE just made Carmella look highly weak and failed to reward Ellsworth, who was once more the MVP of the show.
So much for the female revolution when a man won the battle for someone else.
*Following on Smackdown LIVE a decision was made to strip Carmella and order a rematch this coming Tuesday. What a way to ruin the match, the female uprising and Carmella as a potential, future superstar.*
Lana was up next with a promo which was simply outstanding. Best short promo heard all year, as sweet as that. Simple and effortlessly delivered.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
The Uso's (c) Vs The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E)
New Day arrive, with Paige's pervy sex recording hoe, Xavier Woods.He banged it on WWE time. Ewww.. Trashy sex culture & toilet humour.
The stereotypical gangsta's from da hood, and a Cryme Time revival, The Uso's against the bland trash talkers New Day.
Trombone, close falls and clumsy, tired instances from Big E were very laboured messes than powerful poise. A running head spear into
The Uso's with a double knee was poorly moved and missed by Big E that should never have been attempted.
Uso's really tried their damnest to make it successful but it was absolutely rotten.
Winners by countout New Day as Uso's made a tired and beat down retreat with intentional loss.
Lol another cheap ending. WWE are telling you exactly what they think of you. More repeats, phoning in and cheap endings. MITB is over.
They will probably put the Sarge with Jinder lolol. MITB But now getcha glow sticks out!
WWE Smackdown Women's Championship
Naomi (c) Vs Lana
Lana has returned to Smackdown Live over the last month and has been given the glamour puss Emmalina failed concept, which her entrance makes her look like a porn star.
The return of Emma, no, Lanalina on Money in the Bank/Smackdown Live. Entrance makes her look like a porn star. Great brainwave Vince. :)
The female Fandango.
Divas scraps and quick pinfalls.
So long away from the ring and just thrown in there is a huge ask and as much as Lana can succeed, right now, very inexperienced.
Looks like she's performing in her panties in a 'behind the window/slot machine' porn strip show.
Carmella arrives as Lana has Naomi down.
Carmella does the Dolph Ziggler running joke, cash in, no cash in. This is Vince's humour to troll the audience. He respects you.
It was enough of a distraction to cause Lana a submission loss to Naomi, who looked like a forgettable champion instead of a bold one with a hungry challenger and just a cheap brat goading her.
Wrong person one, and now Lana is dead in the wall as a threat in the Smackdown Women's Divison.
Every match has had a bad ending
Fashion Files. Miami Vice. Law and Order rip off's. Classic WWE bull fresh out of any real creative ideas.
Paul E's old brick phones.
Tyler no selling injury.
lol could it get any worse? A video tape of numbed speech.
Up next were a random entry on the titantron. It was former Diva Search winner Maria Kanellis.
Your debut at MITB, just walk on as Maria and Mike Bennett. Worse than that TNA Miracle crap. This soppy loveboat crap is trash. Boo's rang for Mr Bennett who now took Mrs Kanellis' name. Mike Kanellis, the soppy, dreamy sap so in love, gushing over his wife looked more than invariably weak and empty as a couple starting their new era in WWE. It was laughable at best.
Nauseating. Screechy. Cheap. Tacky. Crap music. Took her name.
No explanation why they were there and just turned up out of the blue. Whatever.
Jinder Mahal (c) w/ The Singh Brothers Vs Randy Orton
Even in hometown Orton and Mahal are not main evening and the main is the useless male, toilet match with zero talent in it. Mahal's overcrazed celebrations, claims and terrible promos.
Jinder can't make promo at all. Used for media, which is all WWE can do. WWE has lost all fans. Vince has lost his mind. Steroids bad.
Legends roll... and constant embarrassment, boozer and pervert Ric Flair. Way to ruin it all. And his daughter, in the mind. Wooo! Boring.
Singh Brothers and steroid junkie resembling a terrorist. Classy WWE as ever.
Steroid abusing, terrorist themed junkie, the WWE champion, no less, a jobber who won the lottery and has no depth at all. WWE fails.
Add James Ellsworth into the MITB now and make him win to save us ffs! That would have been better for WWE at this point, but they view Ellsworth as a comedy character instead of the only saving grace of heavyweight championship material that can really change WWE for the better. Once more WWE are fresh out of brains. Ratings have sunk. No explanation needed to see why.
Figure 4 Leg Lock by Mahal.
Randy Orton's one man show of Excellency.
Jinder Mahal's back acne is just distracting at this point. We all know what's up. Just waiting for the Wellness Policy violation.
Mahal still unable to take the double DDT drop with his knees being the focus of blocking the fall than taking the bump with clever transitions.
Leg placed on rope by a Singh.
Ejected from ringside to give Jinder, hidden on the outside some time.
The Singh's plan to attack the legends, grabbing Randy's dad as Ric jumps up to pose a punch before Randy Orton saves the day. That wasn't obvious.
Orton has slammed down The Singh's through tables and what not's outside. Jinder Mahal is still secretly out of sight as Randy Orton table elbows one of the Singh's through it. Jinder is back in the ring as he gets the cheap advantage over Randy Orton with a knee kick and arm drop.
Is Jinder Mahal's knee kick and arm drop slam really that believable? A jobbers move in WWE's computer game GM mode lolol.
Fandango and Tyler Breeze Vs The Ascension
|Just because. Mmmmm. X|
Before that though, Fandango's chest :p Mmmmmm. Random match with The Ascension. HaHaHaHaHaHaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jumping punch knee, punch from Konnor on Breeze botch disastrous.
This was just an empty match to fill in the numbers. Breezango won. It was about 4 minutes.
Video package of previous Money in the Bank winners now. LOL. They edited out Damien Sandow. And CM Punk, of course.
Money in the Bank
Six Pack Challenge
Sami Zayn Vs AJ Styles Vs Baron Corbin Vs Shinsuke Nakamura Vs Kevin Owens Vs Dolph Ziggler
MITB with Kevin Owens. HHH's favourite freebie gifted fatboy, acrobatic spot monkeys and foreign nobody. Bland. How could this actually be exciting? Well, Jinder Mahal couldn't main event either, could he?
Baron Corbin is the only option and even that is just poorly laughable and inconceivable. Zero talent and ignorant wasters. Gimmick jobbers.
The Indy Darling mark fandom of flips and splits is here. And Owens rolling on the floor. How exciting.
The best part was Shinsucker F*ckamoron being taken out at the top of the ramp before getting into the battle. At least one piece of untranslatable, ignorant trash was dealt with imminently.
It was the typical Indy Darlings Ladder match. Kevin Owens falling over everywhere, Sami Zayn jumping around everywhere, AJ Styles adding to the cruiserweight spots and Shinsucker Fu*kamoron entirely unrelatable or of any presence.
The two extra's jobber Dolph Ziggler and some random nobody who WWE hope big things for, treading water as an afterthought forgotten to be there, namely Baron Corbin, was not any level fulfilling.
Corbin, of course is WWE's only option to retain some credibility to boost a new star. This was leaked as plans three months back to boost him and tonight is WWE's only chance. All other's have failed or are entirely green and inable to carry the WWE brand. It was a ladder match of jobbers that proved Triple H's Indy fandom mark-ism is the most laughable categorical failure WWE has ever produced in recent memory. It is embarrassing. WWE continue to think it is good. The ratings have plummeted and 2017 will not improve.
Baron Corbin predictably unhooked the case in a paltry main event with zero star quality involved. My. How WWE has sunk. HaHaHa. Ignorance is no virtue. Triple H's ignorant ego endorsements have all but ended WWE's future with such airhead decisions.
PPV Rating - 1/10
Man/Woman of the PPV - James Ellsworth
Men/Women of their matches - Natalya, Jimmy Uso, Naomi, Randy Orton, Fandango, Baron Corbin
The first historic Divas Ladder Bank match was a categorical failure. Making history WWE say. Won by a man. Hilarious. Now, as a result of poor decision making, fans have turned to anger of being short-changed with bullsh*t that they want Carmella, someone they usually like to go forth, lose. This is not heat generating, this is plain stupidity costing future options. Road agents, bookers, writers and WWE have got their brains in their backsides, by the seems of it. That's what happens when you add talentless budget 'wrestlers' to come up with a random 'idea' or nepotistic offspring's who want to feel happy as a fan in the inner circle. Laughable at its very best is WWE's corporate culture of the airhead era.
It lacked credibility, depth and any sense to build a new star approach for an already dwindling future. The Smackdown Women's division has also suffered another knock as a result. Proof by WWE, that they believe men are far superior to women.
Naomi has become a minor, lost in the shuffle plus one, who wields the championship trinket as accessory. WWE's booking has made its leading star of the ladies be a random floater, who should be a powerfully honourable champion. She was a boring afterthought alongside the verbally exquisite but god awful in-ring greenery that is pornstar wannabe attire Lana.
As long as James Ellsworth finally gets hands on the WWE title instead of that goof Jinder Mahal the better. WWE failed a whole year. They won't do it. That shows how WWE have lost all creative minds. Call me! HaHaHa!
Vince's idea of looking like giving the fans what they want and using 'female empowerment' message which he doesn't actually believe in, nor has a place in WWE land.
The Uso's also suffered tonight. More of a guessing game still of which Uso is which and looking like gangsta crims Cryme Time with racial profile stereotyping was not a good look. They were actually very good and held the match together, but WWE used them to push New Day forward, who are uber stale non-entities. Though they are more prominent than the tag champs, who are there by default. How embarrassing.
The card was an expose of WWE as a sham more than it intends. People will see how phoney and empty this card and breath of 'talent' is. Lacking skills, depth and creative instances, the PPV, constantly repetitive and devoid of any entertainment was such an embarrassment for WWE. Sunk to the depths of the irreparable ignorance, WWE has gorged on useless 'talents' from Triple H's fandom mark obsession of one tape viewing hard-ons and no actual vision. The show is a sh*t shower and without the right people on board, WWE is following the Dixie Carter-TNA, Titanic way of production. No one will truly miss it.
That's WWE's problem though, not mine, isn't it?
Many missed opportunities. This was Lana's one and only chance to make good on her claims and defeat Naomi to rise above. She didn't and was utterly weak hence forth on that cannot make the gimmick work. Naomi needs the title, so it was a lose-lose situation all round for both and the actual title.
Fandango and Tyler Breeze have been disliked by WWE but after last month's surprise to them that the team are liked in their recent Fashion Police rubbish, WWE have changed tack. It took them long enough, and now, it is an afterthough, toilet humour, missed op again, than a full on interest booster. Classic WWE. The only highlight was Fandango's topless body selling the action for five minutes.
Randy Orton was the hometown hero who became the heavyweight championship sap. Orton is their biggest superstar (John Cena is divisive, Orton is talented) and often disregarded as fodder. Even when carrying the pitiful company decisions on his shoulders, Orton is always short-changed. WWE's five star worker still makes Jinder Mahal and The Singh's have a place, but is excruciatingly hard work. They don't have 'it' at all. Jobbers as champions. How did WWE honestly think this could work, even as a PR/Marketing move for media attention, which is what WWE seems to be obsessed with under the Triple H delusion programme of headlines instead of headline acts. The man's ego continues to drain the product.
It looks as though Vince McMahon is, slowly, removing all NXT failings and is clearly upset none are pulling their weight. Yet Vince has decided over three years to endorse that ignorance and hope it would work. It has failed and he knows it but hates to admit it. Not one NXT superstar has been a roving success and Triple H's business acumen (what of it) has not got the brains or egotistical willpower to align with the greatest opportunities that will benefit the future. Any other employee would have been fired many moons ago. The damage has already been done and McMahon's failure to listen and act at the very time of necessity has put WWE's future under Triple H's maniacal ego in very dark waters. Is that a rescue boat on the horizon? You have the whistle. Will you blow?
Baron Corbin. Aye aye aye. Three years treading water, jobber programmes over the last year with Dolph Ziggler and a random acrobats, Indy darling ladder mess to gain a top spot by default. How embarrasing. Such a superstar failing to materialise. Roman Reigns comes to mind here.
WWE's landscape is dreadful and there does not seem to be an hope in sight. How long can WWE keep kidding themselves within their family feud trying to be all lovey dovey to make Triple H feel like a natural McMahon with talent? Awww. Diddums. Lose the ego b*tch. You might just survive the storm. It's all in your hands, isn't it?
Stock down, operating at a measly $20 a share, and the coming return of John Cena switching from Smackdown to Raw next month won't save WWE. Cena, now billed as a "free agent" which was never the case because he was exclusive to the Smackdown brand shows how desperate WWE are. Moving him to the Raw brand in July and hoping to increase failed ratings won't work. Cena is part of the problem with fans. No one wants the same old, but when Vince and co fail the future because they haven't understood how to make it work from Max Waltham's directions (which can never be replicated) McMahon veers to the past to try and claw something back. Now whose picking up the crumbs? McMahon could have it all, but thinks he is too big to retract. He sees it as a weakness, yet the WWE has been demolished by its own internal failings and ignorant future hoarding of non-entities. Wonderful.
Even the Cena-free agent bullcrap isn't legit. Cena is not free, but, hey, WWE don't do creative anymore and it is also an admission that they have no actual stars worthy of the main event. It's been at least a decade since WWE entered its 'new star creation problems' mode through its own lack of trying. Cena will return to Raw in July to destroy Bray Wyatt. Good luck with that.
Oh well, it's your problem now, isn't it, not mine? Of all the hiring's they make, WWE can figure out which one they need. It only takes one success to survive and get back on top. WWE seem to forget loyalty, honesty, how much was paved for them and the disdain of its egotistical hate. WWE will be their own worst enemy. There is no future and 2017 is in decline. There doesn't seem to be much hope for 2018 and beyond, either, at this rate. WWE need to act swift and get on with it instead of dithering lunacy and have real conversations on change. Or simply sink.
© Max Waltham 26 June 2017
All Rights Reserved