Wednesday, 22 June 2011

WWE Capitol Punishment 2011 Results and Review

WWE Capitol Punishment 2011 Results and Review

The themed PPV, televised live, on Sunday, June 19th from the Verizon Centre in Washington D.C – capitol to the nation, was about to deliver punishment. But who would receive this ‘punishment’ with a capital P?

Better Hair but not setting me alight, yet

After countless and dire promos of Barack Obama (and for what reason was Obama associated with this PPV?), WWE presented its beginning of summer season PPV’s.

Beginning this PPV, was Vickie Guerrero, WWE’s greatest heel today (looking very well) introducing her boyfriend to start the first match.

US Championship

Kofi Kingston (c) Vs Dolph Ziggler

Cougar lookin' well!
After witnessing countless reruns of this match, previously on RAW’s Smackdown’s and PPV’s, Former Heavyweight Champion of 1 day Ziggler was sent to grasp the US Title instead. The number one prize ignored for a secondary title? Nethertheless, Mr Ziggles brought the fight to Kingston in a fair but slightly uninterested match for the mass audience (it has been done to death and garnered no interest any more), both put on a tremendous effort with Vickie adding to the working contrast. Vickie managed to pull Kofi’s hair, which was met with the over exaggeration of – pulling out/on Kofi’s eyes by Michael ‘goofball’ Cole. The only interesting part, at the end was Ziggler choking Kofi out to a sleeper hold – pass out. For his efforts in silencing Kingston, Ziggler is the new United States Champion once and for all.

I should, but i dont wanna unzip... not seeing perfection in the blond locks

The next match..

Alex Riley Vs The Miz

Met by the audience with, The Miz? In a 2nd place spot. Former Champion and top guy was their concern for being placed lower on the card.

Placement on the card is key to not overshadowing the main event and all that lead up to it however I agree that it probably wasn’t best to book either man here, however, it was a place to show what they both can do which will be recognised instantly. The only trouble is it will be instantly forgotten in the run up to the Cena fest ensuing.

Miz, after an explanation in a vignette before the match regarding Riley’s ‘carry case’ (briefcase) – which contained nothing, was all he had alongside his former mentor. Riley even grabbed Michael Cole at ringside by his tie over the announce table after his passion for The Miz was annoying A –Ri, to which Miz gut kicked Ri and sent him back in the ring, before planning to end the match with the briefcase in tow. Miz planned to use this to his advantage, but alas the ref caught wind, confiscated the item, and Alex Riley was able to nail The Miz for his first PPV and one on one victory with the Jump Swing DDT (or the A-Rod? Perhaps).

Credit to both men, possible to have Feud of the year..

A -Rod made this finisher work, and Miz'es legs sold well

Max Waltham was right to suggest Riley be moved to an overall headline position, and on the RAW brand. The most obvious feud can be bypassed for predictability in this case due to the fact that both these men have got it going on. Both can work a mic, showcase their talent in the ring and put on a show of such proportion that they gather crowd interaction and siding with either/or. Both had supporters on the night, for different reasons. And it is a welcome attribute to both men’s work. Both put on an excellent wrestling vocab that both could be capable of making this the feud of the year. It should be a slow burner that slowly gathers heat and builds a much bigger catharsis to blow the minds of today’s force-fed downplay ‘entertainment’. Alex Riley’s defining moment was signing The Miz off with a Jumping DDT for a 3 fall to finish. The WWE Universe were thrilled to see Miz get his comeuppance as arrogant boss/mentor as well as the Alex Riley catapult to stardom: Part 1.


Met with debates on not having a strong finisher. Allow me to take the lead on this one, the simplistic of moves can be used credibly. It is how you sell, deliver and engage your audience with them. The Rock made a DDT work extremely well. Alberto Del Rio is proving the technical master of today with an armbar. And a Jump Swing DDT is actually a strong move to gain a pinfall on. The days of throwing someone from the ceiling is not necessary for grand impact. Mine would be a bearhug finisher J

Wanna Bearhug me Miz??

Ps. Did you know: (I’m not quoting) – Alex Riley was the hometown hero of this PPV from Washington D.C, apparently).

First major victory sets Riley to key player level for WWE's future

OMG! WWE Films bought the rights to Men In Black 5 : Infiltrating the WWE! Oh, no. It was just the presidents henchmen. The President! So he was there after all. Vickie Guerrero then appeared from the corridor to sing a rendition of Happy Birthday with slight word alteration of Father’s Day. Doing her best Marilyn Monroe for WWE’s comedy outtakes, Vick was dragged out of the way by Tommy Lee J… the presidents security so he could have some peace.

Might wanna tell WWE about false advertising..

The next match was a right stinker. Alberto Del ‘Stinko’ (Where is the creativity?) came out in a ravishing new number – the car I mean, but the rest was always ok. Some people weren’t sure if this match officially began or not. Technically I heard the bell ring, but it can always be altered.

Alberto Del Rio Vs The Big Show

Future WWE and would’ve been by now World Champion, Alberto Del Rio had his first groundbreaking feud on the RAW brand. A pointless filler with someone who cannot sell its rookies which is what Big Show’s predominant role should be.

Big Show rushed to the ring to ambush Del Rio. And No sell his recent injury in which he was run over horrifically by the Mexican Aristocrat. Big Show ran rapidly to the ring to smash Alby into the barricades at ringside. But it wasn’t long before revenge was about to rear it’s head.

Not much on the night.

Mark Henry came out to nail Big Show. So, to clarify, ADR’s first RAW feud (met with its first PPV culmination) ended before beginning to set up Show’s next feud with Mark Henry? I am glad ADR didn’t have to waste his time in a derogatory showing to Big Show, but if WWE realises it, just don’t book it! It really makes you look useless and makes the star your trying to build actually look pitifull. It does more harm to the superstar than not.

Henry dropped “The World’s Largest Athlete(?)” into the Spanish announce table clean through to the bottom. I don’t know why a match was scheduled.

Intercontinental Championship

Wade Barrett (c) Vs Ezekiel Jackson

A rematch from last month’s exact same match. They managed to string it out for another month? Impressive…

The Corre is no more..

Wade Barrett trashed the US in the typical capitalism – nationalism ball rolling for patriotic heat. The irony was that the crowd chanted USA for Ezekiel (whom comes from Guyana (previously known as British Guiana, or Anglo - Caribbean).

With the rematch of Big Zeke using just a footstomp as his offence, he decided to have a little more aggression to night, although it was all over the place and wasn’t anything near thrilling. The only thing Zeke managed was to slightly bounce Barrett up and down 2 -3 times in the torture rack. Barrett as usual, tried to sell, but it was limited to what he could do based on Zeke’s lacklustre performance which saw Ezekiel write a new chapter in his memoirs by gaining the Intercontinental Championship via submission.

Jerry Lawler rushed into the ring to stick a mic in Zeke’s face and ask about his title win. It was the “greatest day” of my life claimed Ezekiel. Then uttered something about domination, does he want a new nation of domination?

CM Punk Vs Rey Mysterio

YOU belong with me :)
It maybe a rematch, but at least it was entertaining and enthralling. This wasn’t constantly booked so was slightly ‘ok’ That’s no excuse, but at least we had a wrestling match!

Punk got his PPV victory at long last! After a hard fought back and forth battle Punk raised his knees and lovely legs to send Mysterio to the ground for a 3 fall.

Previously Punk hadn’t won for 9 PPV’s in a row since Extreme Rules 2010…

Aww, time to get rough around the edges…

World Heavyweight Championship

Randy Orton (c) Vs Christian

Time for the rugged stubble.

R Truth and Christian – both cast in the same role on the same night, stealing championships they both feel were stolen from them meant neither stood a chance entering with it on their shoulders.

Can Christian ever beat Randy Orton? WWE just told you – No.

smirk looks slightly heelish..

Don’t expect another reign for him anytime soon. If I were Christian, I would lose the tights and get shorter ones and lose the C symbol. It may just prove to those that be that you look the part to produce for consumption by mass audience.

A new Christian requires something ‘new’ in minds of those that require need.

Many watching blissfully unaware except for me noticing instantly how it was gunna go down gave me a chuckle. Why do audiences not clearly see the foot under the rope until after the controversy is played on screen. It was clear from count number 1 of 3..

don't you dare have a shave!

With the ref failing to call the rope break after a RKO to signal the end of Christian’s third time luck attempt, he now has a fourth time claim via controversy to tie up at MITB. Where a new contender will gain a title shot at Orton. Or knowing WWE, they will let Christian win it back at MITB to have a cash in to cripple Captain Ginger, to another crippling loss.

Have you noticed it’s always ‘Blacks’ ‘Gays’ or ‘Gingers’ who are met with hardship?

For some strange reason the Bella twins, Brie and Nikki, chaperoned a mystery man with a crate of beer to the ring. This redneck looking guy was announced as Keith Stone, a man no one on the astral plane of the WWE Universe knew or had a relation to. (His TV advert debuted one night AFTER the PPV and segmented in between RAW commercials the following night). Maybe it would have worked better if the ad had been on a day before.

They chose to sit at ringside to watch some WWE firsthand.

This just in! A bonus match is coming up! OOhhh lucky us! Anticipated? Oh, Its this match again…

Impromptu ‘Bonus’ Match

Jack Swagger Vs Evan Bourne

In this ‘treat’, former World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger suffered further embarrassment, (The Cole –Lawler saga, demotion of World title at the panicle of a new uprising star – the only one credible to go forward at that time) and the constant battles every year with Evan resulting in the same pointless back and forth feud that makes neither of them grow. Ditch this feud. Evan Bourne destroys all of Swagger’s credibility and persona. Plus a loss everytime is not helping when everyone knows that Ultra Green Evan Bo-(u)-ring will not capitalize on any level from these ‘wins’. Evan Bourne won with a cheap and tacky roll up. How can you set the world alight by winning on a fluke roll up whim? Figure it out… It’s credible critique Ev.

needs to shake the goon image
Push Swagger, remove Bourne and throw him elsewhere for the mean time, then maybe he can develop back to someone else later on. This pairing is devaluing both stars getting over. Or Tag with Kofi against other stars not involving Swagger and push Jack further along to credible people. Or break up Nexus, Team Mikey McGuillercutty with Jack, make tag champs and bring them along a long way before then eventually letting them feud in the inevitable break up.

After this bonus we got another treat. We are being spoilt! Barack Obama addresses the nation on the podium, to which Booker T feels compelled to make Mr.President do the ‘Barack-aroonie!’ If ya smell, what Ba-rack, is, cookin’!

Seeing the fake Barack impersonator made me reminisce about Rosie O’Donnell. I would have preferred to see her out there!

doin' the Barack-aroonie!

After all the eventfully non importance, the main event loomed

WWE Championship

John Cena (c) Vs R-Truth

Little Jimmy Conspiracy continues...

Was there any point dreaming? Everyone knew the outcome, but everyone wanted to believe it was possible. It was. Truth (more deserving than Cena – for Wrestling, delivering Class A Promos in just 2 months and gathered immense heat) could have at least been transitional or a 2 week to one month holder. Truth upheld most of the match from the start, as any wrestler against Cena does to mask his flaws, but how he picked up the scraps this time was rather interesting.

lasted a while , though never official

Towards the end of a typical Cena match, R Truth went to the child in the front row. Hmmm, conspiracy? Or maybe just a plant. After standing next to the child with a barricade separating them, Truth just stood there smiling at Cena on the canvas down, whilst wearing the child’s hat. So what did the Cena fanatic do?

still WWE Champion
He threw the cup of water/juice over R Truth , to which Cena took truth back to the ring for a 1-2-3 to end the match and remain WWE Champion.

Astounding! After all the bullying videos WWE keep throwing down our throats they decide to teach CHILDREN to BULLY people!! Throwing drink into someone’s face is a bully tactic and inconceivable. You wish to train children to go to the playground and throw things at others? What happens when it is something more than just a cup of liquid? You should be ashamed to have allowed that to go out on live TV. Seriously, after the bullying campaigns it is not a ‘funny’ thing to endorse!

teaching children to become bullies?

And WWE are meant to be the grown ups? I hope you can see the point here, because morals and values are lost in today’s society and you are not producing any for the audience. And you are portraying it through your ‘national hero’ John Cena confirming to kids that it is ok and acceptable to behave like that.

1 guy, 2 cups

You just undermined your credibility in how you tackle ‘bullying’. Talk about a double standard.

These practices are just one more added incentive that drives your audience AWAY from the product. To save face, rectifying would be needed, but responsibility is often shirked…

Apart from that, nothing much changed did it, in terms of wrestling and superstars. Where was the entertainment this company is now stating it is there for? Whether you eradicate wrestling or not, for entertainment, there wasn’t any here.

PPV Rating4.5/10

Men/Women of their matchesDolph Ziggler, Alex Riley, Alberto Del Rio, Wade Barrett, CM Punk, Randy Orton, Jack Swagger, R Truth

Man/Woman of the PPVCM Punk

Made a very brief ringside appearance

© Max Waltham, 22nd June 2011

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