WWE Extreme Rules 2016
Coming live on Pay Per View, Sunday May 22nd, from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, would Extreme Rules be interesting and fresh or simply another B PPV falling to the depths of a C or D value washout with gimmicks? Could it deliver after two back to back dire PPV's from WWE including its greatest, Wrestlemania? Can new rivalries and interesting option be put forward or simply a dated and predictable revert to routine once more?
Let's find out...
The Uso's Vs Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows
The BDSM baldie guys are now calling themselves 'The Club.' How creative. What club? A nightclub? A spade a spade? Borderline that one. Woo! They are in a 'club' that's very exciting. As if they weren't boring and useless themselves, now they have a pitiful name. Why was so many spent on one of Triple H's mark fandom choices with two bookends who can't even attract anyone. Talk about floaters that wont flush. Very creative.
Neither of the green rookies still haven't developed a backstory or personality.
One Uso was thrown into the crowd. That's original. Very Hardcore.
Vince McMahon also made his message to the WWE Universe clear via mouthpiece JBL. He told us Roman Reigns was a "megastar." Yeah, okay.
Ignorant chicken legs bookend Karl Anderson smashed a clumsy knee botch on an Uso.
Jimmy Uso soon smacking him right in the chops after his rubbish trash talking.
Luke Gallows yelled some more saying "Get Up! and looking lost. He took hold of the ring bell and then went to use it on Jimmy Uso who avoided it. Jimmy Uso made a mistake and super-splashed onto Luke Gallows who move out of the way and Uso landed on the bell gut first. Karl Anderson slipped in and got a cheap move to allow Luke Gallows a pin fall cover in yet another pitiful and wasteless win for a green nobody team with barely any action.
United States Championship
Kalisto (c) Vs Rusev w/ Lana
Out next was the midget ignorance of the highest order and biggest disgrace to wrestling, the US title and America as a whole, Craplisto. His entrance was lame as usual. Whatever.
It is somewhat of a miracle that the midget moron of high ignorance who has been no value and everything of a disgrace to the US title held on so long. Even WWE only used him for demographics alone. It failed to encourage anyone to such a poor and unbelievable pint size hero of the United States who isn't even American. There has been no worth, value or skill from stuntman midgets. WWE forever look the fool and being utterly clueless.
Lana was cheering on her man in what looked like her negligee with a waistcoat on. She still looked good though. Rusev battered the tiny pinball wizard around the ring with easy and brute force. Fans chanted for Lana as usual, as Kalisto was too poor to attract attention. What a star turn.
Then some mark fans chanted to entertain themselves after Kalisto had no presence. Gotta love a mark crowd. There was so much faith possible from the WWE Universe. Even WWE disapprove. Hey, WWE made it less about wrestling first though, I guess.
Rusev clambered on a Bearhug wear down as Kalisto screamed like a girl. This was his only offence. What a star champion, let alone star prospect for WWE or wrestling as a whole. Why Triple H thought this goon was profitable is simply laughable.
Kalisto magically got onto the back of Rusev in a hilarious joke that looked pathetic. He screamed again as Rusev dropped him down to the ground in a counter crushing him underneath.
Rusev let Kalisto get a couple of flying theatrics in as a generous sport, which should have seen Rusev dismantle the clown instead. Kalisto had no presence or value here. His moments were highly boring and uneventful.
Kalisto was knocked silly and dropped hard onto the canvas as Rusev then quickly went to submit Kalisto. WWE began teasing a moment where Kalisto could no compete as huge boos rang at such a potential screw ball decision. Rusev quickly clasped on The Accolade to crush Kalisto into submission bending him like a pretzel as the new United States Champion was rightfully crowned and long overdue from WWE's booking lunacy months ago. Kalisto was left in a lying heap on the floor as fans could not care less.
WWE Tag Team Championship
The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E) (c) w/ Xavier Woods Vs The Vaudevillians
The fresh new team of Aiden English and Simon Gotch finally got their title match and their valued place in an actual match not shortened by green novices failing to take dives correctly.
After their usual and outdated skits before matches filled with toilet homour, Xavier Woods lead more absurdities harping on for the New Day. He asked fans to send him pics and vids with an unspoken but sexually themed tone. Maybe they should seek tips from adulterous sexter Seth Rollins.
Two tools and garden planks, Big E was carrying to mention after. Is that a spade? Only WWE can, can't they? Couple of hoes The Vaudevillans were, Big E says. It really was clueless promo booking. It did nothing to elevate either team, title nor any reason for the items. This is meant to be WWE's grand entertainment?
Xavier Woods, who is not champion, started things off and got beat down. WWE always break the rules on Trio title holders. It devalues the titles and the champion and the division. WWE forever do not care, learn or listen. The joke is on them. Where are the ratings?
Great technical knees by Simon Gotch. Great double teaming. Fresh and original. Tags next as Big E belly to belly bounces opponent making Aiden English and then Gotch look foolish. It should not have been that easy and it did not make Big E look like a natural powerhouse. Big E's quick run around was soon halted by a perfect knee by Aiden English for a close two fall.
Distraction by Kofi Kingston outside let Big E get a tag to Xavier as Gotch came in and smashed them over the steps outside. Xavier Woods was classed as the first man to break out of Simon Gotch's finisher. What a poor booking for The Vaudevillians by WWE. Big E thumped English off the apron as Kofi Kingston cheated from the sidelines and knocked Gotch as Xavier Woods gained a tainted and cheated victory to win. What a absolute waste of The Vaudevillians who totally needed to refresh the division by winning. Regardless of the outcome, that was a poor booking decision for the tag division and a new team going over.
Once again another fine opportunity was squandered by WWE's lack of direction and its failure to get fully behind a team that can reignite their ailing division of no interest.
Fatal 4 Way
The Miz (c) Vs Cesaro Vs Kevin Owens Vs Sami Zayn
A tired out formula with nobodies added on to make everyone feel they have a place could not have tainted the match further. What a waste. Some aging blubber who cannot wrestle with the highest of ignorance is supposedly WWE's greatest 'thing' to behold? WWE lost ratings because of him, his ignorance and its somewhat distorted vision. He is Triple H's friend. The token fatty. Be A Star! Yeah, but he's entirely useless and full of it.
Also in the match was Owens' friend and inseparable buddy, the high flying flippy sh*t acrobat Sami Zayn. How exciting.
Back to the actual star, Cesaro....
Sami Zayn instantly ran into Kevin Owens and high kick launched into Owens face smacking him hardway out the match. That was smooth. It was another breather spot for blubber boy before the match started. Cesaro sent The Miz out too.
Cesaro impressed once again with mid level hoping back and forth on the spot up and down grinding Zayn's arm. What athleticism!
Zayn launched a top rope move onto Cesaro and Miz outside as Owens continued to lie like a mess on the floor outside, taking it easy once more. Is there nothing successful he can't do?
Miz and Zayn got at it with Miz taking control. Owens was shown festering outside in the corner trying to pull himself up as a complete heaped mess. World class superstar right there.
As Cesaro comes back in blubber Owens sneaks up from behind as usual, kicks and cheaply punches Zayn many times which failed to connect and touches. It was pathetic. Owens continued to scream and whine like a b*tch on the Indy circuit, still failing to learn this is WWE. How green can you be?
Owens did a minor kick to Zayn and The Miz off the apron in poor taps that lacked connectivity. Owens continued to stand in the middle of the ring as per usually and talk trash. Are the ratings going up, Vince?
A traditional four man, top turnbuckle suplex was dropped by Cesaro. He covered Miz and Sami Zayn to no avail as Kevin Owens once again rolled out of the ring.
Zayn dropped a powerbomb on Cesaro at a chance opportunity as The Miz followed up on Sami Zayn with a move. All failed to get a pin. Miz and Zayn went back at it while Cesaro suplexed the pair once more. Resident, conniving worm Kevin Owens slithered back in as the most irrelevant thing in the corner wasting everyone's time. Cesaro whacked the post to post uppercut corners on everyone as the crowd were fully entertained by Cesaro's prowess.
Cesaro sent Miz for a swing attempt as Kevin Owens magically recovered with no sell as suplexed Cesaro from behind. He then launched his cannonball move like the bowling ball with legs he is which was plain sad and unoriginal. It was a frenzy of manoeuvre as Miz got a follow up Skull Crushing Finale on Cesaro who tensely kicked out.
Cesaro corkscrew uppercutted Miz flying off the rope majestically. The Miz was slammed hard to the ground and finally swing by Cesaro like a Twinkie helicopter with elegance. After twenty odd rotations The Miz got the rope Cesaro locked The Miz in submission as Maryse grabbed her man's hands. Cesaro's raw power pulled them back as Maryse screamed as she was hauled in too. As the referee was distracted, The Miz tapped out to Cesaro, who failed to be noticed.
After a melee of break ups and near falls Sami Zayn took it to Cesaro with flippy moves. He came close with two.
Zayn ran into a crushing uppercut and then had Cesaro bafflingly walk into a flip over. Cesaro walked into Kevin Owens who once aain stood on the spot powerbombed. Owens had an interaction outside with Maryse as The Miz planted him to the ground. Cesaro kicked out of a pin by The Miz in a very close thrilling kick out.
WWE were quick to jump on how good the match was (thanks to Cesaro) and hyped up the "four athletes" where only three were apparent.
Zayn flung Owens all over the ring. The Miz climbed in and pinned Cesaro with a cowardly pin after Sami Zayn earlier botched a running kick smash on Cesaro. It was once again inconceivable to believe that after all those bumps Cesaro kicked out off he could be flawed by a stuntman who laid him out for such a long time on some random kick. The camera angle did not even show The Miz beating Cesaro after chasing Sami Zayn around. Talk about bungled.
Dean Ambrose Vs Chris Jericho
Dean Ambrose is finally living up to his typecast and is in an Asylum match. How creative. Ambrose could not be made more boring, useless and irrelevant. He was meant to be one of WWE's future stars. His opponent is the overly tired out feud once again with aging waster Chris Jericho. WWE really have no clue anymore and simply phone it in. This is not any level entertaining. If this is WWE's idea of such it is in even more stormy waters than before.
Ambrose Asylum. Translation? A cage with a bucket and mop at the top. No, seriously. Pathetic. Worse than a Monster's Ball.
A comedy match with no laughter instead of an entertaining and encouraging thing.
It was very boring, shouty and time filling standing around. What a joke.
WWE dont know how or what an Ambrose Asylum should be. that's the level of creativity now lost on WWE.
All Jericho constantly did was shout "You stupid idiot!" numerous times. Zzzzzz...
No escape can be made. No one escapes from WWE Cage matches anyway when it's an option.
Jericho's punches visibly not connecting at all.
This absurdity went on way too long. How WWE thought an audience would lap this lacklustre shindig up was absurd. Fans were bored, quiet and baffled at what it was supposed to be, despite trying to stick with it.
Ambrose with a drop down clothesline on Y2J. So exciting.
"We want Rollins!" chants were heard as fans were so damn bored.
It really was a wannabe Bon Jovi against a drunk layabout. It was painful to watch.
Thumb tacks were introduced as the big spot option to try and reclaim the hardcore/Randy Orton glory days for Dean Ambrose. Good luck with that.
If it goes another five minutes the crowd will turn on both of them.
|Barmy! Mop, Bucket, Pot Plant, Leather Strap and |
2x4 wood suspended above the 'Asylum' Cage
A Walls of Jericho was given as Ambrose whacks a Kendo Stick to Jericho's back to break submission. Chris Jericho followed up with a Fire Extinguisher smoke blast with a Codebreaker for a close two fall. It was meant to be an interesting moment but was so meekly conducted. The pair both seemed tired and lost.
As predicted Chris Jericho was dumped into the tacks with a Dirty Deeds as Dean Ambrose claimed the three fall victory in the most uneventful new match that became one of the worst in modern times. None of the prop filled apparatus excelled either, had no hype and was categorically piss poor to the core.
Oh, and to top off all of this glorious disaster, Chris Jericho was pinned with his shoulders clearly not on the canvas at all, which was Jericho's mistake as soon as he landed to the canvas.
Jericho screamed like a girl for far too long and far too ridiculously that lost all believability. What a disaster.
WWE Women's Championship
Natalya Vs Charlotte (c)
For once in her tepid career holding the accessory, green diva Charlotte finally attempted in stepping out of her daddy's shadow. She was still overly green and entirely useless and needed to be heavily carried by Natalya once again. What a champion.
Ric Flair is banned from ringside and if he breaks it, Charlotte loses the title. One she has direly held onto for months tainting the division, but hey, that's WWE for you. Milking something to the point of waste and exhaustion. Where, oh where are the ratings?
Toilet Break. Total toilets! Who actually cares anymore? WWE women are officially useless.
You can talk up title days as a reign all you like, it is meaningless when you have nothing to show in the ring.
Comfortably accustomed to her father's shadow, Charlotte's big moment was turning this whole match into a roll through mess. Cheap submissions from Charlotte and not enough emphasis on Natalya's skills, who once more did her best to carry Charlotte through a match.
Yells as a standard process dictated by WWE's top brass for divas were given to Natalya. She tried her best to make them work but they simply have no value.
It became a quickly tired out boredom.
Natalya actually had to move herself backwards to let Charlotte get the rope touch. How embarrassing.
Ugh! Dana Brooke looks like a tranny in that costume (the women's one, not Flair's robe.) Very unflattering.
Charlotte used the distraction to lock on the Figure 8 and submit Natalya in another plainly useless cover story as the most useless champion in WWE history shaming the Women's title and division beat Natalya in another boring feud of no build up value.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
AJ Styles Vs Roman Reigns (c)
Roman Reigns continues to be viciously booed and not accepted as champion material. Vince McMahon has changed his stance on the crowd. He now says, regardless of how you feel you are still passionate about him. Its official. Vince McMahon has given up and resorted to the John Cena formula of 'if I can't convince you then I'll just do what I want and you'll swallow it'. Roman Reigns is officially now John Cena Mark II. WWE could have avoided this but decided to be defiant in their own bubble. It has now burst and there is nothing Roman Reigns can do. He's finished. WWE did this themselves.
No-one cares about AJ 'Action Man' Styles either. He was just there to fill in once more as a gimmick who once again, decided to jump all over the place. How creative and main event calibre.
It's the main event rematch (Again) between a flying action figure hickey and John Cena Mark II. Extreme Rules has come so far, huh?
Reigns' brute power tossing AJ around like a rag doll started the match. Both are polar opposites of what they are supposed to be in honourable terms.
A steel chair was introduced not five minutes in. Lame. Poor AJ and Reigns the hardman failure. Needing foreign objects so early in the match.
AJ send Rroman over the outside barricade. Outside already? That was quick. Poor little AJ bungled the spot and failed to flip over with Reigns when clotheslining.
They had a fight through the crowd. How extreme!
The pair found their way punched on the table of the kick off discussion show. AJ gets a cheap kick to the face as Reigns walks toward.
AJ removes padding from the steel ring rail and rips up the floor mat canvasses. This isn't TNA.
AJ unloads on Reigns over the announce table. Styles Clash countered and shoved to the barricade and collapses to floor by Reigns. AJ jumps up over the barricade like a mousey runner and gets flipped over by Roman Reigns on the announce table collapsing through the other table. We all need a spot monkey, don't we?
Fans were still unimpressed.
Reigns cross drop backbreaker powerbombed AJ into a sit down pin. In all fairness, this was a great move by Roman Reigns but a two fall only. Fans do not care what he does. AJ Hurricanrana caught by Reigns as he swings and powerbomb's AJ 'stuntman' Styles through another announce table.
Reigns spears to the corner as AJ plainly moves and Reigns crashes through the padded corner wall by the bellringer.
AJ goes to the top to springboard as Reigns whacks him with the Superman Punch. AJ tumbles to the floor. "I don't think Styles has a clue where he's at" Michael Cole quips. I'd have to agree.
Roman Reigns spears AJ Styles from around the corner outside to maul through the hickory dumpling.
Out come the predictable run in of Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson, AJ's friends. A "Boot of Doom" (How hilarious) took down Reigns and placed AJ over Roman to cheat to win but Reigns kicked out on two. The Uso's now arrive and deal damage to all including AJ Styles. Roman Reigns gets the cover as AJ Styles survives. End it already.
AJ Styles slams the Styles Clash (with trouble locking in) but isn't good enough and only gets a two count.
Full of predictable rubbish and useless spot filling fluff distorting from the actual people in the match. What a washout.
AJ fails to land properly on a chair and lets his back knee drop on it. Reigns runs into Styles' kick as Styles tries the clash once more on the chair as The Uso's pull the leg of Styles. Roman Reigns kicks out at two as AJ Styles realises he is simply not WWE material.
AJ now reverts to the dark side (Didn't take much did it?) and throws loads of empty chair jabs at everyone. Well, that was pointless. A looked stupid and weak. AJ goes to the top springboard middle rope jump as Roman Reigns jumps up to spear AJ Styles in mid air dismount to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Thank lord it's over. Talk about run-in central.
After the match result a shock arrival happens as Seth Rollins returns to run-in and nail a Pedigree to the champion Roman Reigns in a shock return over the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Well, that was a rather weak return. With that, this dud of a PPV is over.
PPV Rating - 1/10
Men/Women of their matches - Jimmy Uso, Rusev, Simon Gotch, Cesaro, Dean Ambrose, Natalya, Roman Reigns
Man/Woman of the PPV - Cesaro
Dolph Ziggler Vs Baron Corbin
Is this still going on? WWE's formula for pre-shows, repeat the same tired match and offer nothing interesting. The Pre-Show is officially worthless and should be scrapped. It has no place, is tired and a pointless warm up act that fails to impress.
Extreme Rules was a poorly laced together card with uneventful characters, high levels of ignorance and WWE's failure to listen and take action. Instead a bundle of worthless non-entities once again tainted WWE's reputation, the brand and the fans paying tickets to watch such diluted trash as entertainment. WWE continued to phone it in and are repeating every match as they often do for three month programs.
Tonight was all about gimmick matches and predictable foreign objects being used in the same spots every year. The formula is tired, wasteful and irrelevant. WWE currently have nothing to offer. The best they can give is aging stars unable to wrestle, green stars, disgraced ignorance serving no virtue, acrobatic stuntmen of no hype and blubbering messes who have no concept of how to work. It's all about Triple H's Indy love-in hard on. Unfortunately for Trips that popped itself months ago and Triple H is again blissfully unaware of his own ego massacring the WWE product all in efforts to prove himself to daddy in law and the wife.
The Trophy husband has nothing to offer and is quietly crushing WWE's future with his absurd and moronic choices.
WWE will tell themselves what they want to hear. It is better than way to live in one's own bubble of arrogance. The roster is the worst it has ever been, the Indy luvvies are poor and pathetic at entertaining crowds and WWE has no capabilities to excel. WWE are too stubborn for their own good and only bad things are to come for them even further. 2016 is the decline for wrestling and no matter how desperate fans and WWE are to convince themselves otherwise, their actions are going to be their undoing. WWE best prepare for the coming storm. It won't be pretty anymore. Their attitudes have failed to see what will benefit their product. It is all their own undoing. They have chosen such a path. Everything can be undone if they wish, but they have chosen to be awkward and abusive. The product is the worst it has ever been and the karma will hit a three times harder. Even more injuries are racking up. WWE are truly clueless and tempting fate is not at all wise.
Same old screw jobs run through for over three months on almost every match PPV of interest. What a star studded event.
It was inconceivable that the man of the PPV, Cesaro (who worked everyone to success in the four man match) got up from so many spots but failed to move on a clumsy kick botch for two minutes. How laughably poor can WWE be? Vince loves to screw the fans for fun. Most fans have gone. Vince said they would always be stupid enough to come back. They didn't not listen to crucial advice. Are the ratings down? The Miz was a coward who once again escaped as a weak and uneventful champion. Sami Zayn was an acrobatic plus one and blubbering waster Kevin Owens had no place or necessity hanging around in breather spots outside doing virtual jack all.
Natalya was the second to be naturally screwed again and fans knew it. This time by some unknown replacement for recently injured Emma, in the form of Dana Brooke. It isn't working already and she was catapaulted into the roster only a week or two ago. Who actually cares? Charlotte can never win a match on her own and has never wrestled. Natalya carried the diva once more and the Women's title should never have been resurfaced as there are no women to hold it. What a sham WWE's so called revolution still is. A complete mess with no worth whatsoever.
|Both also quite packing...|
The Vaudevillains are the freshest, newest and most entertaining guys on the scene. The tag scene, WWE in general and opponents could benefit big from them. WWE don't feel too hot on them. WWE are losing it again when they have the best thing in front of them and too lazy to book. It would also have been the best thing tonight to have Kofi defend (as he is supposed to as champion, yeah?) and have The VV's injure him during the match, win the titles, refresh the scene and give more focus. Kofi ( a recent father again) can take time off and Big E can tag with Xavier Woods legitimately. Once more WWE fail the most basic of ideas and sense which is WWE its Universe of fans have also become distant. If WWE can't get anything right, why waste time for something that will never happen?
The Uso's were battling a non-entity team of no value from a random place that WWE thought was a sure fire winner. Look how terrible this flop duo have been. Triple H's markdom of seeing a clip from an Indy promotion with a hard-on and goes to instantly hire them with no thought process on favouritism has proven to be unprofessional. Every hire Triple H has made in the past three years, alongside green NXT call ups, have proven a disastrous failure. This man is dangerous to WWEs future and has already alienated many workers, staff and fans. Most have left. WWE think nothing of it. Time to wake up. Triple H needs removing from the hiring and firing for starters and needs to lose his ignorant ego.
Roman Reigns has become the John Cena Mark II officially tonight. Fans do not care for his opponent but will cheer them only as prop for sheer hatred of Roman Reigns. We'll say that again. Hatred. Hate is a strong word. That's how bad WWE have bungled Roman Reigns' entire title ascension. There is no way back for Reigns. He is doomed. Yet there is no-one good enough to oppose him in WWE's standards other than one of Triple H's mates. How have they all worked out? Flop, prop and plop.
What in the blue hell was this Asylum match? Whoever thought this up needs to b sacked or backtrack severely. This was the most dire match on the card, and there were some real stinkers elsewhere. Ambrose is yet another typecast boredom who can only get over for five minutes when he takes his top off. Aside from this there is now nothing to him and WWE have lacked any supportive weight to push him correctly. Ambrose is a tool. His opponents have also been uneventful and uselss. Chris Jericho, an aging, paycheck wielding, hag, completely out of shape and relevance, is wasting WWE's and viewers' time.
Rusev was the only interesting thing, flinging highly ignorant midget Kalisto all over the ring in a neccessary beat down that lasted two long over three months with the United States title phantom bearer who completely ruined the scene. How WWE thought this was a good choice when it was done just to be awkward and antagonistic was dumb. Look how well it worked out. Pitiful. It was a nothing win but at last Rusev tried to sell for his opponent as a professional which shouldn't have bothered in an all out crushing. Kalisto needs to be sacked and demoted. WWE never know when to act, save the scenes and get rid of lingering floaters. Without this the product will only worsen again and again and no amount of money can save WWE in their bitter defiance, as much as it pains them to admit they are wrong. Lose the ego.
Seth Rollins may have returned but WWE still have many mountains to climb to improve their show again. It is not looking probable at this point and with thre PPV's back to back, (Wrestlemania, Payback and Extreme Rules) all ranking 1/10 (which is utterly shameful), WWE have reached rock bottom. The roster is highly ignorant, Triple H's direction of it has ripped holes in the fabric of the WWE and the programming has been the most uneventful and most pitiful it has ever been. Triple H has wanted to outdo Max Waltham and prove he is better and can shape his own WWE for Vince
McMahon to be proud of. Since then Triple H, the ultimate political game playing bitterness of hate, has sacrificed WWE in his hopes to get fan lovies with his own personal favourites, all of whom do not know how to wrestle or draw. Every decision Triple H has made since becoming a backstage authority figure in WWE has proven to be an epic failure. The man's ego is killing WWE's product and it is looking unlikely to improve. All because he takes things too personal and bitter. His problems are crippkling WWE's future and if WWE cannot or won't be prepared to see, act and score favour with those who can help (or indeed hire) then WWE really is stuffed beyond repair. Triple H has no direction for the future and Vince McMahon, fans believe, is content on letting it sink. Drastic measures are needed and none of that can be achieved by changing decisions on television alone any more. WWE need to really sit down and think long and hard how to survive the storm. Or ride it out and be swallowed whole. Now is certainly not the time for games, but WWE love to play them.
© Max Waltham 25th May 2016
All Rights Reserved