Wrestlemania 34 (2018) Review

Wrestlemania 34

Wrestlemania 34 was the thirty-fourth annual Wrestlemania professional wrestling pay-per-view (PPV) event for the Raw and Smackdown brands. It took place on April 8, 2018, at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana.

André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Battle Royal for the André the Giant Memorial Trophy

A Royal Mess

The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, in its fifth consecutive year was once more treated with contempt. A jobbers match than a empowering feat to boost a new star, WWE have once more shamed the legend by being bored with how to book a Battle Royal, in exactly the same throwaway format.

The end saw Matt Hardy win after Bray Wyatt helped him. This made no sense as a random thing, seeing as the two fought previously. Bray joining Matt also made him look invariably weaker. In reality, sleeping with announcer hoe JoJo (who has bed hopped around WWE a lot) and not paying his kids and estranged wife, has put Wyatt in this position.

Senseless.

In further reality, Matt Hardy was the budget and pathetic version of Max Waltham in Bray Wyatt for WWE shell’s distorted by dumb ass companies. We should be flattered, but once more WWE and these jobber stars need me, but cant bear to call because they are full of such hate.

The ratings are at their lowest and the entertainment is entirely pitiful at best. Without me, you wouldn’t even have this.

Wrestlemania Women's Battle Royal

Battle Royal for the Women's Battle Royal Trophy

Here it is. The first ever ‘women can do men stuff too’ Women’s Revolution which Max Waltham created and Trips and Steph stole as their own. ‘Cept their version, once more is plain awful. Their were only three potential candidates and Sasha Banks was a boring one. Eventually Naomi, as predicted by yours truly, would win the bout and stand by a god awful gold trophy cup that looked so cheap and tacky it was laughable as to who would want that.

That aint a Photoshop. That ugly ass thing
 IS the prestigious trophy. LOL.
Who would want it?

Previous decisions to name the battle royal the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal were shelved after a chocolate bar sponsoring Wrestlemania told WWE to can the idea due to past allegations of Moolah pimping out female wrestlers as a booker, to clients for sexual favours, to progress in their careers, among other things.

Vince McMahon and Stephanie caved in and simply named it a battle royal for Women. Seeing the end results, it was once more a blessing in disguise that WWE’s random brain fart ideas that don’t materialise, were shot down. The name and concept would have further been a mockery.

How WWE were so weak to an unhealthy chocolate bar, however proves just how sad the business has gone for greedy McMahon’s who have no creative idea and wont survive a legacy for WWE when King McMahon is gone.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final for the vacant title

Pre -show match. Cedric Alexander won the ugly purple flippy sh*t title in a warm up fluffer match of zero interest and Triple H’s delusional ego of Cruiserweight boredom being good. The title was vacated after alleged gang rapist Enzo Amore was released, which WWE had been touting for months as its top star.

Main Show

WWE Intercontinental Championship

Triple Threat

The Miz (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor 

WWE should dress him up in a gimp suit.

A boring but trying to be as lively as possible main event featured Finn ‘Fag’ Balor with an LGBT choir of gays, and has changed his T-Shirt to the rainbow flag colours. Stephanie McMahon’s idea of an “empowered gay man” (where did that come from) and misuse the concept to make all gay men and women look weak, stupid and idiotic because Stephanie has no brains at anything and wakes up one day with a brain fart, airhead idea is insanely ludicrous and shambolic. They also called them LGBTQ as Americans want to put every label on everything. There is no Q in LGBT and gay people are not “Queers” which is the most offensive word to gay people as the N word, “Niggers” is to black people. WWE need to hear how idiotic and abusive they are, just to try and gain a few advertisers. Disgusting.

Also, what makes you think gay people need to be empowered? All you have to do is call e up seeing as your basing these on my being and movement. WWE are too stubborn, useless and abusive. Which undermines their entire bookings.

Many LGBT communities left watching the show after years of abuse at Triple H and Stephanie’s decisions. If Stephanie actually believes what she is doing is good, and she does, the way she handles it makes her exposed as dumb, retarded and abusive rather than her intentions for not looking outwards at real people. Only real gay people can portray gay characters.

A member of the Bullet Club, living off that to get over (and failed) using Gays as a last ditch attempt to get over is plain shameful. The choir was from New Orleans, which also resembles the terrorist shooting incident of the last year where a gay nightclub was targeted. WWE have given the lead outlook for LGBT support to a person intent on promoting gun warfare and hatred at the highest level as “positive messages” to the gay community. WWE and Stephanie McMahon have no brains, ideas or reality outside of their mindless being. They are promoting violence, not distilling it. They should nix this immediately and apologise on National Television for their abusive attempts to get some fame and money off the back of it. Soulless greed and outright shame. Vile.

Stephanie and Triple H are a pair of kids in a candy shop. They want a little of everything and have no clue what mess they make, all to call it “diverse”. To quote Chyna, “Stephanie, girl, you don’t know what you are doing” with your airhead moments of loose fitting ideas for attention that alienate and abuse those you claim it supports. It’s all a sense of joke and ridicule to the McMahons.

Finn was given this monkier because all else of his character has failed, he looks like a homosexual, and though dating women, is said to be very much bisexual.

As for the match, already marred in controversy, Seth Rollins predictably and easily won the Intercontinental Championship from a new father in The Miz. 

Finn jumped around all over the place as a cruiserweight spot monkey that he is.

WWE Smackdown Women's Championship

Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Asuka

The Royal Rumble winner, Asuka was supposed to be fighting Alexa Bliss for the Raw title. Instead WWE moved her to the female John Cena, Charlotte Flair, on Smackdown. Without a hope in hell, Asuka was not only defeated by the ‘irrepressible force of WWE’s own ego of surname only character’ but made Flair tap Asuka out and defeat her undefeated streak. Hardly an Undertaker thing is it?

John Cena, who earlier entered the audience as a fan and drank a beer live on TV, as PG, kids entertainment (Contradiction anyone?) received a whisper from a referee. He ran to the back in pathetic comical Cena fashion after Charlotte won, making another joke of the match just occurring. Some Women’s Revolution. 

Yeah, the Royal Rumble means absolutely nothing.

Asuka was moved to protect Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax. 

WWE United States Championship

Fatal Four Way 

Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev

At least we had this Wrestlemania moment.
Woof!

After gaining the title in a random encounter at Fastlane, WWE made a further joke of both the US title and Randy Orton. Adding extras every week from a standard to eventual four way was embarrassing booking for WWE.

The ‘E inserted Jinder Mahal for no apparent reason other than an upcoming event in Saudi Arabia. All that marketing for a Canadian resembling a terrorist, steroid abuser pretending to be of Middle Eastern/Indian descent. *rolls eyes*.

Rusev was added in at the eleventh hour. Many thought the popularity of the Rusev Day movement was the reason. Upgraded from the pitiful pre-show battle royal, Rusev was discovered to be seriously considering asking for his release, which worried WWE, who have blindly treated Rusev with poor booking for other, useless stars. Are the ratings down?

Eventually Jinder Mahal won. Bobby Roode, devoid of charisma, personality and fluid transitions once again, was another plus one floater that made up the numbers, despite getting the title as a freebie friendship, favouritsm prize before hand as one of ‘Triple H’s new Indy wave guys’ who are a constant letdown.

Tag Team

Intergender

Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon

UK time once again behind by 1 hr lol. Just in time for the annoying tag battle of ignorance where HHH can't help his ego and stink out the card with Rousey and wife. Steph assisted him in ignorance & Angle is a floating cripple that wont flush. Wrestlemainia just an extended episode of Raw at this point.

HHH could not allow someone else into the spotlight. Had to be his own self interest. Trips has never been a great Wrestlemania player but thinks his ego tells him so. Boring. Are the ratings down from Authority Era and all the Indy fluffers? 

This not THAT world says Trips, who brought in all pitiful talent from Indys and MMA backgrounds and failed dreadfully. At least he gets to dress up and have an over inflated entry again. Even that's a repeat. HHH is all air and no substance on his little go kart. #Wrestlemania

Wow. Ronda can lift. What a 'moment'.
*Yawn*

Celebrity chit chat over some MMA woman who cant draw yet and 'needs' Triple H, and an intoxicated, wasting away skeleton (Kurt, not Steph) to do so? Yeah. OK. Wrestlemania is a loooong night.

Rousey cant get over so to help, dresses up to use Roddy Piper. Just because he said you can be "Rowdy" doesn't mean agreement to be a complete rip off. Completely vanilla and thug fandom only to try and carry her through. Embarrassing.

Tepid, lame and powerless. First move from Steph on Rousey was pathetic. #Wrestlemania but it would be a mistake to let Rousey win. (But she will). HHH as much a mark fan as the crowd over a UFC pin up equivalent of WWE Divas. 

Boring, tired and non connective punches from Triple H and beat down sandbag Kurt Angle. All Stephanie’s grabs were tacky, laboured and poor. Acting like a WWE diva pulling hair in WWE Diva mode.

Triple H is desperate to control everything with his ego. Just like Kurt, we can hear you calling the match.

Trips resembled a sad and mopey Bassett hound walking around in a saggy nappy looking like its crapped itself.

Like a child around the playground rather than a powerful and impressive star, slowed down in rewind on a VHS tape.

Slow hot tag from Kurt to pull Steph in and run the ropes in counter moves to drop down. Poor, non connective jabs exposed yet another pathetic moment of nothingness as Rousey flung Steph by her hair. Meh. Hardly dominating just doing the Brock Lesnar in female form, rag dolling moments. Haven’t we seen this all before?

Stephanie’s boob was on show in Rousey misrepresented hold as Triple H was still lying on the ground for once as Steph had no one to tag in. 

The desperation to make Stephanie a main event star in the media was somewhat sad and uneventful.

Rousey slams as Trips breaks up a 3 fall at 2 with a referee leg pull. HHH then pulls Rousey’s leg and her outside as Kurt comes to her rescue and uses the announce table with Trips as he counters and meekly flings Angle onto the table to bounce behind it. 

Rousey back in the ring as Trips checks on and removes wifey from the ring. Useless jabs as Triple H swat flies with jitters in unconvincing motions. Steph saves him with a slap as Rousey chases around the ring. Both land face first in corner post as another distraction as the rest sees Kurt Angle do his belly to belly suplexes. Meh.

Angle, insanely blown up and bloated with barely no interaction, stumbles around the ring with HHH like inebriated on a plane. Angle had his nostalgic moment but failed to win on an Angle Slam.

Stephanie pulls him away and barks orders at Kurt. He blocks a boot to Angle as Steph gets put into an Angle Lock, which sees Triple H sneak in to Pedigree. Rousey saves in yet another distraction filled fluffer on repeat for WWE’s blueprint match layouts.

Rousey about to take a Pedigree flipping Triple H into a hurricanrana. Triple H writhes around like a buffoon to put his prized, egotistical possession of Rousey over. Steph enters with a headlock from behind and is flipped into an armbar. Angle gets another interfering Triple H, its all about him, in an Ankle Lock.

HHH flings Angle into Rousey to break the moment.

So much fluff. All about HHH. No real action. Lame as f**k. Wrestlemania Super Predictable. 

Rousey armbar as Stephanie wriggles, screams and whines horribly as Ronda Rousey locks on the submission lock and Dana White is shown, front row, celebrating. Oh, Kurt Angle won it as well, by default plus one.

Steph gets caught and slammed into the barricade.

The mark favourite every year. From the fans posting as insiders talking up their fandom over professionalism does not warrant well. The business is dying and this is more proof of its failings. Ratings suck. 

WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship

Tag Team

Triple Threat

The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and/or Xavier Woods) vs. The Bludgeon Brothers (Harper and Rowan)

Now we have midgets dresses as Pancakes, giving some out to crowds, as Poopy O's with New Day.Where's Mrs Buttersworth, they say? Paige is lubing her Vagu-ju up for Woods when he gets back. Vince hasn't got any main event stars & too stubborn to learn. Wrestlemania has failed.

Plastic mallets, pancakes, spare wheel Woods (looking more like a Porn Star than ever before) and The Uso’s was a pitiful mess. A beatdown by the Bro’s followed most of the match.

They take out Woods, who looks like a pimp. *sigh*.

Jey Uso is dumped outside as the Brothers of former Wyatt world dominate, not allowing anyone in. Jimmy Uso tags in and takes it to Harper.

After the beatdowns, The Bludgeon Brothers pummel down The Uso’s and pin Kofi Kingston. He and Big E also lose as the Bro’s take the Smackdown tag titles.

John Cena Vs The Undertaker

The ignorant, putrid pile of trash, blockhead John 'no talent whatsoever' Cena, runs his dirty mouth to entice The Undertaker. Not even worth lacing boots for. 

Lights dim. Out walks the ignorant sadact and Sporting his drifting guitar, Elias. WWE had originally planned an even bigger bout of throwaway ignorance which meant nothing, The Rock, Jeff Jarrett and Elias being beat down. This is WWE’s best booking ideas. Get a grip. Elias can forever look to the Sky from the canvas.

After lots of time wasted he beats up Elias.

Lights dim and the hat and gear Undertaker left behind last year returns after a surge of purple lighting strikes his attire.

The gong begins.

John Cena can’t even feign disbelief with side looks and flapping his gums. Undertaker thankful destroyed him within minutes and walked the ropes to smash him down.

The Undertaker pummelled him with just one Tombstone which received a rapturous return for the phenom who should never have lost or had dreadful opponents in recent Wrestlemania’s. A welcome return and a better outcome.

Tag Team

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

A pointless tag match with another Smackdown TV match on main PPV, where if Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens win they get their jobs back. How boring on the grand stage of it all. Just another paltry repeat once more on offer from WWE.

If you want your ratings back up, fire these two and get rid of them for good. WWE has no balls and championed them, gave them freebies and were warned of their ignorance at killing the product. They didn't listen and here we are. Drawn out boredom.

Kevin Owens is American Dream. A whiney fat boy with hands in pockets not giving a hoot, making dirty pictures, rip off, rewarded free titles & rolling about in his sandpit with inseparable friend. Fans/goofs don't make superstars. If that's future, who would want it? 

YES! It is the WWE on repeat with nostalgia, based on my speech and authority angles. 'cept they aint me and failings are self evident of PPV performance. Wrestlemania is a dying brand that reeks of boredom and uncreative airhead era. 

Hapless one minute wonder of ‘the moment’ Daniel Bryan, finally cleared and WWE in a tight spot for talent, despite Vince not so keep on midget mouse Bryan, returned to in ring action for a quick moment. That’s all it is nowadays, cheap moments that mean nothing. Is Wrestlemania a circus freak, big top? How about cruiserweights in furry manes jumping through hoops next time? To McMahon this is a brilliance idea. No thanks once more, and more ratings and legacy decline. You’re Welcome.

Bryan looks like a fool once again. Powerbombed by the pedestrian bowling ball with legs Owens, given to him by friend, Zayn, of course.

Owens continues to yell.

Owens is just talentless lethargy who can only ever holler and roll about when he's not a pedestrian bowling ball with legs. For WWE, it is the highest level of pathetic televisual "entertainment" on record. Languorous, passionless, gasbag of swirling fecal matter.

Essential it became a predictable handicap match, which is false advertising and breaks the rules.

Yeah...
No thanks to this writer...

Zayn stood around, looking lost at every turn and his buddy boy Kevin yelling constantly through the entire match even on the ring apron. Zayn was just there and had no place, effectiveness in punches and kept looking around to cameras and arenas to kill time. 

Zayn stumbling around, looking completely lost, whilst trying to kill time, with no effectiveness on moves, punches and looking around arena and cameras. Pitiful

Daniel Bryan magically returned as Kevin Owens continues to walk around at a glacial pace and flings himself into Shane McMahon as the human bowling ball.

More botches of knees from Bryan by Owens as Zayn blocks a dropkick with his arms yet takes it as a bump. Imbeciles.

Same old routine from Bryan with corner dropkicks to a pantomime of “ooh’s” and “arrr’s” thanks to yours truly.

It was quite sad to witness. This is the best WWE ever have to offer. The same ol’ sh*t. A glorified waste of time.

The Daniel Bryan effect won’t last. Same old, same old.

Sami Zayn taps out to Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon secures victory as Kevin Owens rolls around the canvas.

Arrested Diva. PR disaster, abuser and Porn Star
adds entire embarrassment for WWE on every front,
especially as 'family friendly' entertainment.

It's Paige, raspy from chugging all those peens & cum, WWE Porn star & ignorance with The Rock, & many other pieces of trash to try and sell some movies, (not home ones widely accessible online) yet use this Brit effect from one Wonderous only. Paige is a talentless hoe who sleeps around. Lipstick doing a Joker look. Looks like maybe Vince McMahon and The Rock have also travelled with Paige in bed hopping antics.

WWE Raw Women's Championship

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax

Samoan Drop from turnbuckle as Nia Jax wins.That was it. Well, there was more but it was all the same beat down, Nia Jax routine. She cried and WWE instantly used her weight as a reason to win with sympathy. 

Jax- I want to win based on skill, she says. WWE use her weight as a sympathy act with bullying, body shaming blah blah. WWE seem to be more warped in their own reality than what is actually going on in the real one and tell themselves what they want to hear. It’s easier that way. Fans are unimpressed with the same Charlotte/Jax sympathy card. So WWE is a crybaby, support hotline now? Lol.

WWE Championship

AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

The WWE title match of boring, flipping acrobat cruiserweights that interest no real person and just a few fluff marks. No talent and chosen one's entirely uneventful letdowns. The best WWE has to offer. Not good enough.

Ooh!

Christ, so many virgin marks which expose the business as so bad. Looking like a deadbeat rabble mob right now. Fans are not fans any more. They don't know what they are. All to feel included in a capitalist movement.

The WWE hasn’t got any stars it has its top prize contested by two random indy darlings who wore out the soles of their boots in other failing companies. And brought that tired failures to WWE.

The crowd was completely silent and dead. Crowd tried to cheer realising it was dead.

Great call Vince. Can you hear a pin drop? Some rock star. Not phenomenal either, darling. 

More personality watching paint dry.

WWE title match on a budget. The budget being talent and the lack of it on such roster.

Down on the mat every few seconds and time breathing with minor groans.

“Slowed down the pace” one announcer described it as. That’s a polite way to put it.  There was no pace, just two Action Man dolls jumping at one another. 

Fans were more interested in reading through their phones or just zoned out like zombies after sitting for so long.

Hail the Nazis.

Outside of trying to prove they can work a ‘proper’ match with no jumpy gimmicks, the pair proved what was truly known. They can’t deliver outside of one trick ponyism and that pony has been sold to market way too often its mind numbingly tiresome.

Shinsuke accidentally tapped his fist which was a hand trying to mimic a level of withstanding pain, botch.

Styles Clash on a running counter.

AJ Styles retains.

Both hug it out after the match.

Ugh not this sh*t again. 

Naka, or Kaka, bows down and hands WWE title to AJ.

Low blow from Nakamura. Kicked him out the ring.

Foot stomping him with tender taps quickly turned into an audible laughing stock with the arena. Naka tapped AJ with his foot a few more times. The greatest turn, a couple of foot stomps. 

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

Cesaro and Sheamus (c) Vs Braun Strowman and Mystery Partner

Cesaro and Sheamus entering on a float with bobble heads in the most cheesiest of ever.

Brown Strowman’s yell scared the Mardi Gras characters away. It was pathetic and this is the toilet humour McMahon thinks hilarious.

The burning question is all about whom Braun’s partner is. He destroys the float off the stage also.

Oh please... Wrestlemania auctioning off a child's play tag partner of the fans. Whose the plant?

Should have made Cesaro
go 'K'nicker-less'. 

WWE really has lost its mind in order to make some happy PG era tosh. It's embarrassing. 

Essentially a handicap match but realising not to get in trouble for more false advertising of a tag match.

Dead crowd.

Nicholas asks for the tag as Cesaro rises up and re-tags Strowman back in. 

Braun Strowman and Nicholas win the Raw Tag Team Championships.

The idea might sound good but in practice it was a mess of an idea.

Feel good entertainment is awkward for WWE at best.

Everyone is happy for him, of course, but when not thought out properly, they just look silly.

It was later revealed he is the son of the referee, John Cone.

They relinquished the titles the very next day, which may just be the shortest title reign since Kane’s 24-ish hours.

WWE just don’t know how to implement an idea properly anymore.

Well done Vince.

WWE Universal Championship

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns

Last match, where most hated man in WWE, being new John Cena Mark II, Hollywood drug ring, multiple,steroid abuser,in Roman Reigns given title (of the people) over Lesnar, whose leaving. Is this 1984 steroid-scandal again? Sad McMahon needs to use himself to get them over.

Corey Graves, in background, sporting
an Iced Gem on his head.

WWE gearing both Undertaker’s defeaters together for last two years, which was predictable to us. Both cost The Undertaker his streak to get over in this match, by McMahon’s mind. Dropping Undertaker cost them Wrestlemania as a whole.. No contenders, stars or good matches now. You broke your world.

Predictable it was a smash and grab on both sides of some sort of brawl type fight. Reigns’ special punches where tacky and lighter than air.

Chants for CM Punk rain through the arena.

Brock couldn’t lift Reigns over with a Belly to Belly Suplex onto the table so flung him face first into it instead.

Paul Heyman standing nearby, onlooking with hand over mouth was another expertly comical and beautifully incorporated moment of delightful wonder.

Reigns took a number of suplexes until he resurged like John Cena Mark II. Announcers also mentioned exactly like Cena/Lesnar ironically. Blah.

The barricade was used again, in the very same routine. 

Barricade, Table, side attractions, furniture, suplexes, punches in air. Same old routine every PPV. Fluff.

Reigns ran at Lesnar with a lift up Spear over the announce table which caught Brock with a monitor for real, which was reckless of Reigns.

F5, kicked out of, once more in Vince McMahon’s mind is impressive. In the real world it weakens the authenticity of it all. The F5 is now a weak move as inconceivable that Reigns can survive it after taking a huge hit. It isn’t feasible, but McMahon doesn’t get that part of the ‘Super Cena’ bullsh*t moments of resurgence.

Allowed to break all the rules, blood
and wellness (drugs) policy inclusive.

Reigns took 3 F5’s.

The 'Super Cena' formula that Vince thinks is amazing destroys the authenticity of the move, finisher, title, match and overall product, but McMahon cannot see it through his idolisation of self and inability to listen with action. 

Fans instantly yelled “Boring” at Reigns, who survived a 4th F5 through a table outside.

Reigns survives a 5th F5 (the most devastating ending move of all time, some say).

This is awful. Roman Reigns busted open.

Tossed around like a rag doll, Reigns returns to destroy Lesnar with power and carnage.

Eventually after a brief comeback, Vince stunned the audience by dropping Roman Reigns to a final F5 as Brock Lesnar retained the title. 

Roman will win tomorrow on Raw, many think. (Luckily he didn’t, yet). Lesnar should leave. (He re-signed a contract which he’s probably regretting already). 

It was revealed once Lesnar reached backstage he and Vince McMahon has strong verbal altercations and the Universal title was thrown at McMahon or a wall. Either way the hostility is real and McMahon hasn’t got a clue what is going on in his company as blindly oblivious to all the problems he and his airhead family are creating for a bit of buzz.

WWE is getting worse and worse and no solution in sight through its stubborn failings to see the light. Wrestlemania was a washout. It's not good enough at all. 

PPV Rating - 2/10

Men/Women of their matches - Bray Wyatt, Naomi, Cedric Alexander, Seth Rollins, Asuka, Randy Orton, No-one was good enough, Jey Uso, The Undertaker, Daniel Bryan, Alexa Bliss, No-one was good enough, Brock Lesnar

Man/Woman of the PPV - Triple H

Empowering? This cruiserweight weed of ignorance who
can't get over and adds immense cheese? Yeah right.

No one can ever explain what was “awesome” and that is your answer enough. Empty words of meaningless fluff to convince yourself the system isn’t broken, unfulfilling and a complete waste of your time and life. Fans will cheer for Wrestlemania based on its nostalgia, but Wrestlemania is not Wrestlemania in its current form. Old acts and paltry new ones wont enhance the future that WWE blithely do not care for. The end result is an embarrassing one, where even star attraction Ronda Rousey, the title contenders and the sympathy acts cannot deliver on. WWE have made a terrible job of what was wrestling, sorry, sports entertainments, most powerful supershow now resigned to an empty, extended 5 hour TV show which was way too long and exhausting. The jig is up. Wrestlemania is over. With. Time to put it out of its misery instead of hanging on to a dying brand where fans will defend it just because of past hopes it hasn’t become the washout it is today. Holding on to the past diminishes its legacy when it is in plain sight a pile of hogwash trash today.

Making excuses for nostalgia will not only cripple the business, but continue to embarrass everything. 

Empowered gays? What makes you think they need empowering, Stephanie? So gay people are born as weak? Wrong. They are more stronger than you could ever hope for and one thing you don’t mess with is a powerful gay man (or woman). As you know. 

People lose their mind and think themselves important to accept any scrap offered to them at the table. Classed as less by society (not for being gay but because like every other human, obsessed to be something) having meaning by proxy makes you, in parenthesis, meaningless. 

Stephanie’s attempt to prove herself as someone who is capable to be kind, outside of her “character” Breaking kayfabe and helplessly trying to seek adoration in tacky media appearances and handouts. 

A true legend of her time.
They don't make 'em this
beautiful any more.

The WWE HOF continues to remain its biggest sham but this year was the worst induction set yet. Ignorant drunkard, physical abuser on the job and all round, washed up mess living off his father’s legacy is embroiled in the WWE’s fame halls. How hilarious. Only Goldberg, Ivory and Hillbilly Jim were acceptable. Many wrestlers and invitees of the Hall of Fame ceremony actually walked out during Mark Henry and Goldberg’s speeches on the Weekend event. Ouch. Simply put, there was no respect because they were bored of the trash before hand self-adoring their failed careers and with no respect from the start, why should fans be expected to admonish the disasters on show?

The battle royals were once more treated with malnourishment and boredom that meant nothing.

The cruiserweight title still needs to be ground into a trash compactor and spit out.

The US title is now, again, another worthless trinket that embarrasses WWE, America and all who hold it much like the Intercontinental one. Rusev and Randy Orton’s job out moments everytime by WWE is somewhat brainless and egotistical nonsense. It proves costly to WWE.

The Intercontinental Championship, itself, is already a wasteful strap, despite The Miz being the all year hogger, and no viable challengers, Seth Rollins was the only option, which could well ruin his career with the cursed line of ignorance and idiocy attained to it.

The Undertaker was a welcome return, done with meaningful class, but the build up of disgrace and foul mouth of John Cena was once more, as ever with Cena, a detrimental joke. It was good Undie pummelled him in no time.

The tag matches were pointless but the Uso’s did a great job of putting competition over.

Cesaro and Sheamus were booked like idiots from the start, but were, in WWE’s mind, expendable, especially to a 10 year old child. No one hates the youngster. But it was a ridiculous idea that made no sense and another glorified brain fart from the Airheads in Trips and Steph. That kid now also has a target on his back at school rather than be a champion which further encourages him to be bullied thanks to Stephanie’s brainless ideas, trying to act as though she cares about bullying and goes about it in a complete 360 u-turn that enhances it instead.

Daniel Bryan came back, returning from injury in a time of WWE’s plight. Don’t expect much from him and some cheap reliving of silly chants and a moment of diversions with “YES” pantomime nostalgia. That’s already been done 3 years ago. Thanks.

Asuka was another complete crew up, defeated by WWE’s glorious title hogger and poor in-ring worker, Charlotte Flair. Whatever.

As for Nia Jax, the sympathy card encourages more scorn and contradiction. Bliss made her look like a star tonight. 

Stephanie’s actions were like watching VHS on rewind or fast forward. Slow, stupid and cheap interactions resembling Torrie Wilson/Kelly Kelly diva botches and hair pulls was not any level empowering. As for Triple H, it was all about him. Hogging all the spotlight, putting over his pried possession in UFC babe Rousey and coming in ever split second to do something was a worse in/out moment than the Money in the Bank run through. Kurt Angle was a stumbling mess as usual and Ronda Rousey was nothing special and hit the spot moments to get carried along. 

Done correctly, it would have been better for The Airhead’s to win over Rousey, seeing as she is having another three months off before returning. WWE, as ever, are completely clueless at figuring anything out. 

I'll give it a miss this year, thanks.

AJ Styles continues to be the worse WWE Champion on record. Even over Dean Ambrose. Sheesh. Shinsucker F**kamoron was no valid competition either, which makes you wonder just how clueless WWE are with its two Royal Rumble winners failing on the biggest stage of their so called careers, to uneventful champions. Both jumpy acrobats and pathetic interactions of sloppy, botches, hoping on one move to generate a mark “Woo!” moment was just sad. These titles are officially worthless and WWE continue to add more in the future that mean nothing. Get it together.

Brock Lesnar retained, but many believe Roman Reigns a failed concept that will never get over. WWE, intent on changing that, cannot realise it will never happen and with it, another one sided match that was another squash themed pile of nothingness. The title involved still doesn’t have any real, heavyweight status. It is still god ugly and unappealing as the action involved. Boreeee-riiiing.

The Airhead Era.

The saps we are meant to respect in the disrespectful WWE Hall of Fame 2018 ,with that foul mouthed, abusive, alcoholic junkie Jeff Jarrett in his World of Sh*te was no star appeal for WWE. First thing out of his mouth is "I'm famous for my daddy". Wrestlemania is vastly becoming the tacky, business appeasement era. The rest were a let down, and Celebrity winger, Kid Rock (lol) could not even be bothered to show up. A first for WWE’s recent Celeb inductees. He also sang the theme song. Bet Vince was chuffed with that one. WWE also mentioned Wrestling Wonders’ Hall of Famer, Alice Cooper, who still hasn’t been given a proper induction over these clowns.

It was the worst Wrestlemania card booked in history, yet seems to be a growing trend where every Mania outdoes the last, as plain terrible. How did WWE allow this to happen? I wonder…

Does McMahon even care about his dying legacy?

In the hands of Vince McMahon it is proven he has neglected his talents and booking ideas have been lost. Blind to his staff, workers and overall product. The business however, is not safe under the direction of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon’s Airhead Era, as it more than self evident. Silly games, pride, ego, monkiers, press attention and paltry handouts of no value to look good are another drastic measure of failure. Are the ratings still down after Triple H and his fan boy workers of favouritism ignorance crashed them 3 years ago?

Under this direction, still not listening and doing the exact same thing over and over and hoping for the best, with constant dismissal for the product overall, WWE is once more wasting away as uneventful or importance. Ouch. That’s there problem now though, isn’t it? If only they can put their ego aside. 

WWE isn’t what it once was and no level of over inflated nostalgia (even that is on repeat to the point of exhaustion) shan’t save this dying concept of sporting extravaganza. Will Vince McMahon actually save his legacy or let it sink? 

His decision holds the fate of WWE firmly in one set of hands.

© Max Waltham 13th April 2018

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