Showing posts with label Bo Dallas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bo Dallas. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

WWE Elimination Chamber 2015

Elimination Chamber 2015

After making a hasty move to cancel the annual Chamber event scheduled every February, because it was getting too predictable and dry in the Wrestlemania sandwich spot, WWE decided not to let it go to waste and shoehorned it in two weeks after its latest highlight of Pay Per View, Payback.

Could it stay on course with Extreme Rules and Payback, both WWE's most successful PPV's to date of the 2015 calendar year? Having figured out what to do with the wasted Chamber and putting the mid card into it, would it be as beneficial as WWE had hoped? Or was it simply about Triple H's ego quietly slipping through to gain more popularity, a choice which has marred WWE programming over the past year in Hunter's efforts to prove himself capable of running WWE to Vinnie Mac, all the while going against the grain of crucial advice for an industry expert often ignored?

Coming live from the American Bank Centre in Corpus Christi, Texas, live on Sunday 31st May 2015 on Pay Per View, WWE once again opened its destructive steel structure Chamber. The thrill, prospect and quality pertaining to previous spectacles of the show were on offer but with Tag and Intercontinental battles imminent, would it have its desired effect or an anticlimactic flop comedown to Earth thereafter?

As ever, let's find out.

WWE Tag Team Championship
Elimination Chamber
New Day (c) Vs Antonio Cesaro and Tyson Kidd w/ Natalya Vs The Prime Time Players Vs The Ascension Vs The Lucha Dragons Vs Los Matadores w/ El Torito

The tag team titles took their very first Chamber defence in a new concept which was long overdue. Though would the wait be too late to appeal to its full potential?

The New Day are running on a new high as Tag Team Champions over the past month or so. With a good set of contenders and not trying to overdo themselves has benefited all in the program. Tonight WWE slipped four more teams into the mix. It's good to have some more floating around to give more oomph to the scene but some were simply extras that had no real potential. The team of Sin Cara the second and the ignorant high flying muppet Kalisto were sent in for the desired 'special effects' of the match. Yes. The did "all that flippy sh*t." Triple H has still failed to listen. Oh dear. A future on ignorance is going to be rather bleak, it would seem.

Okay so how does a Tag version work? 

Two teams start. After four minutes another team, which are squeezed into the pods, enter the match. Pinfall or submission can count as elimination.  Out first were the reformed Prime Time Players Darren Toung and Titus O'Neil. They are good guys but need refinement. Young is the stronger of the two, but they need to stop the juvenile promos that are simply not funny or championship material.

Next in are the Los Matadores and El Torito stood atop the Chamber pod. In next were Tyson Kidd and Antonio Cesaro, led by Natalya. Cesaro was noted for having Chamber experience. Jerry Lawler recognised him as "innovative" and was waiting for his new ways in how to beat down his opponents. 

In come the champs with a sing-a-long for Corpus Christi, The New Day. Xavier Woods was wearing the title. The official champions are Kofi Kingston and Big E. WWE, as predicted have now stated Kane allows all three to defend the titles. It's the Spirit Squad all over again. What a major balls up. Woods is not the legit champ. WWE changes it's rules as and when it sees fit which ruins the show all over.

Out next are The Ascension, who should stop their bad taste on the Legion of Doom rip off. Be yourselves. Then again, WWE hasn't bothered to make any options for them to overfill the show with ignorant idiocy. The ignorant Lucha Dragons Sin Cara and ignorant Kalisto joined them to begin the battle. The guys with a Super Nintendo come Mario, computer game theme tune of the 1990's with flipping sillyness all over would begin the battle. Thrilling. They looked like a pair of Lemmings.

The Ascension made quick work of the putrid Canary looking fliers. Dumb ignorant imbecile Kalisto got his foot caught in the top of the New Day's chamber pod, who pulled him through to stop him doing anything else in the match up. It was a blessing in disguise. Kalisto doesn't do much anyway and will one day receive future endeavours. The Ascension made the mistake of going for him. Should have easily pinned off Sin Cara. 

Cara scaled a pod as Kalisto was down on the other. Cara dropped a smash on one as Kalisto found his footing, standing atop the pod. New Day stopped him again. A new team was coming. It was Tyson and Cesaro. The match needed them. Cara and The Ascension were pummelled. Cesaro continued his innovativeness with Kidd also making new and fresh options for move actions.

Kidd went for Kalisto. Cesaro jumped up and smacked Kalisto in the chops with a powerful and deserving uppercut in the face. Cesaro wrenched him from the top pod mesh with a powerfully stunning superplex to the ground. What a plex. They were tossed to the outside of the cage floor. Victor changed the game on Kidd as Cesaro helped his pal. Kidd locked on a Sharpshooter for Victor but Konnor stopped it. Cesaro took him out. Kalisto jumped around the cage walls like a pesky infestation. He went onto the PTP's pod. What is this lunacy? Some major star, huh? Goof.

Los Matadores were unleashed and instantly took Cesaro by storm with an athletic leg scissors flip. El Torito did a flip too. Kalisto has made his way to the centre of the Chamber upside down like a spider. It was plainly dumb. He dropped himself on all the stars, who broke this lunatic's fall. That was sad and pathetic. The rest of the crew made the match survive. Then El Torito scaled the top cage and was caught on a drop by The Ascension. Torito showed how to do that professionally. They smashed him into one of the Matadors outside and dropped the second in the ring. Los Matadores were eliminated. :(  

The Lucha Dragons continued their pathetic lunacy of "flippy sh*t" until The Ascension claimed a high level of power and took out the Dragons, pinning ignorant flipper Kalisto. 

The Prime Time Players eagerly burst out of their pod for their chance to get the gold. They were met by The Ascension who scouted them down. The PTP's came back into it and Tyson, usually too heavy handed and not fluid enough, looked very good in this exchange. Darren Young followed up a finisher to drop The Ascension from the title hunt. 

Titus suplex dropped Young onto Cesaro for extra dominance. Cesaro came back with even more power to change pace and also dropkicked Young on the top turnbukle with an outstanding jump up dropkick. Wowzers! The pair went for a suplex as Cesaro flung him down. Both felt hurt. Cesaro was dazed but had amazing legs widened! :o That's a contender for the Open Legs 2015 for sure! (He's still reigning champion 2014.)

New Day were left to get in the match. They went after everyone. The next spot was absolutely amazing. The New Day tried to suplex Cesaro, but the rest joined the sides and all four lifted the New Day trio in a quadruple Suplex. Wowie! Afterwards Cesaro and Kidd locked Woods back into the pod, where he belonged.

Cesaro caught Kofi for a Super Cesaro Swing. Young tried a cheeky pin from behind on Cesaro, unawares as Tyson Kidd and Antonio Cesaro were eliminated! Cesaro was totally bummed. He wasn't happy to go, but left amicably.

Big E collected Woods from the pod resulting in a two on three beat down between the remaining two teams. Big E was rocking a brave, sheen, shiny leotard. Titus and Young did a great job with Young smashing a double knee drop down slam on Kofi. Big E flipped Young to the steel floor outside hard. Titus inside caught Big E on a slam attempt for a two fall title chance. Titus tried a slam on Kofi as Big E snuck in to sweep down the leg as Xavier Woods smashed a kick to the face of Titus dropping him quickly down to the mat. The New Day jumped on for a triple pin for extra measure as they forced out The Prime Time Players to secure the WWE Tag Team Championship in its first ever successful Chamber defence.

WWE Divas Championship
Triple Threat
Nikki Bella (c) Vs Naomi Vs Paige

Highly cheered was defending Divas champ Nikki Bella. Naomi joined us in a colourful and beautiful black and blue get up, which fits her personality of beatings, ironically. Returning flunkie and ignorant goth Paige inserted herself into the match up. She continues to scream irrelevance.

Naomi was punched out the ring as Paige went for Nikki. Naomi took Nikki from outside and smashed her into the outside announce table. She smacked Paige beautifully in the face. Paige did a cheap counter for one fall. Naomi had to sell vividly for Paige. A sleek baseball slide of Naomi worked well as Paige then grabbed her for a cheap Fall Away Slam and lacking pinfall. 

Nikki came back in and took down the flunkie diva Paige with a strong knee to face drop. Nikki sent her into Naomi in the corner and flapjack tossed her with the Alabama Slam. Naomi stopped Nik from behind and took a two fall on Paige. Nikki missed a kick as Paige attempted to steal an opportunity, as ever. Naomi booted Nikki to the post outside. A perfect suplex by Naomi of Paige. Her strong attitude spoke volumes.

Paige whimpered when Naomi nailed her. The no sell was joined by Nikki to drop an underneath the turnbuckle double powerbomb drop. Nikki grabbed a two on Naomi then a two on Paige. Nikki's Rack Attack was foiled by Naomi. Paige stopped her three count. Paige then tried her Pretzel submission twist, but Naomi clouted her down. A two fall for Naomi. Naomi was caught up top by Paige but reversed it into a terrific back drop for a close two count. 

Nikki dropped a superb flip over of Naomi with windswept slam. That was simply beautiful. Nikki Bella landed the Rack Attack on Naomi to successfully pin her and hold up the Diva's Championship. She was joined by her sis Brie Bella.  

John Cena Vs Kevin Owens

Up next was some 'fat bloke in a tee-shirt' playing in his sandpit to feel loved. NXT champion (who injured himself a week after earning the gold, months back) took on U.S champ Cena. Even when Owens was the anti-Cena hopeful for WWE to rise, he was highly boo'ed and not loved by the crowd. Such ignorance will not excel. 

After the initial tease for the U.S title, WWE decided not to put the title on the line. Hmm... Desperate to get ignorance over, are we? 

Kevin Owens was LOUDLY heard calling the match with Cena which was outrageously embarrassing. The Cena chants rang as no fan is prepared to give Cena the full praise of lacking skill. It wasn't because stand in newbie Owens clogged up the plug hole. 

Cena looked amazing in his follow through's slamming down the bumbling disaster of Owens. Owens relied on a punch and his Ring of Honor toned down plaudits to succeed. A Ring of Honor jobber on the mainstream stage as an ignorant waste is not a excelling call up by any means. He looked a complete mess, which forced Cena to actually improve his match work when Owens was supposed to be good. It was shameful. Hey, Triple H likes Owens, so it's okay, right?

Owens lifted Cena up into a cheap sleeper hold which had no effective power. Cena tried to sell this one for Owens, who continually failed to work well. Owens ain't no Rusev, that's for sure. Cena tried the Attitude Adjustment as Owens cheaply reversed it into a simple DDT. He was heard three more times calling spots for Cena. Glad to see we have a true respecting sportsman here.

Owens was heavily booed on a taunt. He stood on the spot and held his arms out and barked at Cena. How weak was that? Owens landed punches on Cena which never connected at all. How this NXT champ has such favouritism from Triple H to this main event battle is plainly embarrassing. 

Cena's flimsy punches were tonight actually powerful and fully connected with Owens in sheer believability for once. That was shocking and impressive. Or was it that Owens was so pathetic as an opponent that it forced Cena to make the match meaningful?

Owens launched his portly belly into Cena for a move in the corner. Thrilling. He stood over Cena and spoke loudly again. It was more of a pansy teddy bear than a menacing force of challenge. His arms were lethargic swings and cheap.

Cena soon caught Owens with the AA and landed the Five Knuckle Shuffle. It connected well. Cena ran into a powerbomb from Owens which was less than to be desired as Cena did all the work. Owens just stood there. 

Burly blubber Owens went to the top corner post and sat there for a number of time waiting for Cena to join him atop the turnbuckle. Owens headbutted Cena down whimsically with a missing Moonsault which looked embarrassing with a no sell of an instant miss and get up as Cena charged into him with a smashingly perfect AA. Both were down after a two fall count and clash. 

Cena tried to lift the heavy lumber as Owens got up and the pair exchanged blows. Owens landed a messy superkick to take Cena down. Owens was vividly tired and blown up in a second. The portly putrid walked along when trying to mimic Cena's Knuckle Shuffle. He got reversed and caught into a roll through STF. 

Owens cheaply waved to the crowd as Cena when copying his AA which looked simply stupid. Lacking respect, Owens landed only two. He walked around the ring and then ran into a Cena boot, which Owens stopped too short of to fully connect with, making it seem like Cena was off time. It was another embarrassing moment for such a grand PPV debut. 

Owens rolled around on the floor as the pair were down once more. Owens reversed Cena, who placed himself in the spot to help lacking Kev to a hooked arm powerbomb drop thingy. It had no real effect, but Cena sold it on the mat. Owens pulled Cena up and spoke to him again. He punched him backwards and yelled at him like a dog. Cena smacked him in the face with a great fist. Fans felt that one. Cena followed with the Springboard Stunner off the second rope but gained a two count only. 

It soon went to the turnbuckle again as Cena perfectly placed himself into a spot that Owens was carried in, dropping a suplex slam.

Owens then went for a messy elbow drop. Cena planted a strong clothesline on Owens, who had it coming. He took another on the mat breather to regain his 'athleticism.' Cena ran into another powerbomb as Kevin Owens stood there and did nothing to beat John Cena and take a victory. Michael Cole gushed of Kevin Owens as fans in the crowd were disappointed with the messy, sloppy, ignorant waster of NXT dropping Cena, who did all the work and improved drastically tonight. A win it might be, but Owens is not now, nor ever will be the future of WWE. He was a complete state. 

He then spoke some pointless words. He said "Now everyone knows who Kevin Owens is." A complete embarrassment. He told Cena his time was up and that Owens was now. Cena may be old and dated, but Owens was not legitimate competition. No-one really cared and the Cena haters were only happy that Cena didn't win. They'd even cheer for Stevie Richards. 

Bo Dallas Vs Neville

The pair had a decent encounter with a technical intermission for those needing the toilet. Bo Dallas worked Neville well to a strong match outing. Neville did his traditional flipping around moments which may appeal with a little magic right now as a quick moment, but were simply that. It fizzles out quickly. Fans prefer a wrestler than a stuntman. Maybe he should wear a plaid patch jacket next. On his own Neville looked empty and needs a lot of work in the ring to become comfortable long term.

The man that has your grandfather's name Neville won the match over Bo Dallas with a traditional top rope 450 splash. That was the highlight of the match. Not exactly thrilling though, was it. Next...

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Elimination Chamber
Sheamus Vs Ryback Vs R-Truth Vs Wade Barrett Vs Dolph Ziggler Vs Mystery Opponent

WWE's D- player Daniel Bryan had to vacate yet another title. He was ringside with the title and will present it to the victor. Ignorance and the curse of the IC title led Bryan's place tonight. Such a shame. Let this be a lesson to all wrestlers who must learn not to sell stories for fun so freely or simply. It is costly to do PR for 'fun' it would seem. Foolishness Sidelines Mentality.

After a three month uphold in title limbo rather than an actual title holder, WWE moved the title into a steel smashing extravaganza. The problem is WWE added its mid level jobbers into it as well. No one can ever take the King Barrett gimmick seriously when it is simply another attempt to try and boost Barrett, who should have had his stardom three years ago. For him, it is over. Maybe he can call Wayne Rooney some time. The latent foolishness of such tool has not been implemented well for the setting that is WWE. He's another wannabe that is going nowhere and will forever stumble along. He is fodder. Though replacing him with ignorance from NXT favourites giving priority over others by Triple H is no solution, either. Spare a thought for the hard working and actually skilled stars of three years being pushed back from their call ups to other lame ignorant luvvies.

To add to the curse, WWE's strong superstar, Rusev, suffered an unanticipated, foot injury and will be out indefinitely. He will have a replacement entry tonight, who will not fight for Rusev, either. That man was first out and was Mark Henry. They should have saved him for a return on Raw. It was a lost moment. Rusev was injured in a match on Smackdown against the in-ring liability Ryback.

Sheamus joined the pods next. Followed by R-Truth. The last pod was filled by the jobbing meathead caveman who has no value to WWE at all, Ryback. He needs the pink slip more than anyone. He is going nowhere in WWE. Get someone better who wants the spot. WWE has the numbers. The fans want them, too.

Making up the start of the battle was Wade 'King' Barrett. Barrett once again simply walked to the ring with nothing new except a dress up gimmick in hopes to recreate his lacking, ahem, skill. He'll go up against crowd luvvie Dolph Ziggler. Zzzzz. WWE hasn't really got much to do for these guys, does it? It was truly a jobbers match, which should excel but only embarrasses WWE and its product further. 

The pair did a few roll over leg covers on the start up. Barrett held a traditional sleeper hold armlock on Ziggler, always donated to naughty men in WWE. It was weak, tiresome and boring. Fans were waiting for a new star to enter and make it exciting but then realised the pod entries were not encouraging in any light. 

First out was resident whopping boy who could actually be a probable champion in R-Truth. Barrett smashed him before he could leave the pod. He went back to Ziggler and then walked around the ring waiting for someone else to enter. Talk about filler. It wasn't a commanding moment. R-Truth came back with some skill and moves but cheaply caught into a Whirl Sideslam on the spot by Barrett, Ziggler was back now. He was smashed down by Barrett. Two fall only. 

Next in was Mark Henry. He was released when Barrett smashed Ziggler into the fall away 'glass' of the pod holding Henry. He came out and cleared house as usual. WWE used this as his entry instead of extending the time. Ryback entered next and did cheap, untouching shoulder jabs to the gut of Henry. The crowd booed him vividly.  

Henry, Ziggler, Ryback and Truth all stared one another down as Ryback and Ziggler took it as the others went for one another. The crowd were so bored they chanted "Feed Me More" only because they were bored and it was the only chant available. 

Sheamus was next to enter but the official could not open Sheamus' pod. Ziggler and Ryback, who were against each other, stood around next to each other wondering what was happening. Everyone took pinfall attempts. None succeeded. All three guys then decided to hatch an alliance to defeat Mark Henry. Ryback then turned on Ziggler and smashed him down too. 

Wade 'King' Barrett was the first to be let go from the battle after the four guys teamed on him ending with R-Truth's Lie Detector to convincingly cover Wade Barrett for a three fall elimination.

Ryback took the second elimination of R-Truth with a easy and non-effective waste of Shell Shock. Sheamus was still wailing like an Ape trapped in his pod. Ryback was guided through the match by Ziggler, given a vertical suplex holding him for so long it was patheticly mind numbing tosh. 

Ryback was nailed by a superkick from Ziggles. Sheamus was still stuck. Ugh. What foolishness is this? WWE know how to ruin a concept beyond believability. All of a sudden Sheamus unlocked his pod and entered when everyone was down. As clearly obvious, Sheamus planned his own lock-in. Aye Aye Aye, fella...

Mark Henry was dumped by Sheamus after a simple and tacky Brogue Kick of no effect. Sheamus caused the upset of the night as Dolph Ziggler was dropped like a sack of spuds next. WWE decided to carry Ryback as the last one left. So much dislike for Sheamus led some support for Ryback as WWE intended, yet the fans aren't buying into either liability in the ring. 

Ryback ran the ropes with Sheamus with some body slams and corner shuffles. They were highly heard calling instructions to put knees up. *sigh*

Sheamus tried to unhook his pod lock to hide inside the pod. What a match. Ryback grabbed him as Sheamus countered with White Noise onto the steel. It was a two only. He then struggled to toss Sheamus over the top rope to the steel apron space. It was hilariously ludicrous. Ryborg returned with a tap of Sheamus on the steel which looked insanely laughable. 

Sheamus was defeated by Ryback with ease after a cheap Shell Shock to lift the Intercontinental Championship in yet another wasteful and tacky victory of no value. Oh dear. Well, Tough Enough is starting now and Skip Sheffield of the past needs to be wheeled out. Ryback's first major title win could not have destroyed WWE's legitimacy of the sport and the title more. WWE continue to select uneventful losers to clog up the title. Is it any wonder it is cursed? What an anticlimax. Daniel Bryan asked fans if they though Ryback deserved it. Whilst predictable fans said yes to not drop the match they just watched as a waste of their time and money, a lot said "No." Even using Daniel Bryan couldn't get "The Big Guy" over. Fire him. He won't materialise at all. The longer he's champ the longer WWE is a farce losing stock. Going against the grain just to be awkward and show-offy never helped anyone.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) Vs Dean Ambrose

"Dean Ambrose is crafty, he's smarter than you think" WWE told us through Jerry Lawler as the match began with J and J Security and Kane at ringside for Rollins' support. The match started well with a great technical tussle to mix up the show, highly led by Seth Rollins, working Dean Ambrose, who was in charge of the drama early in the battle. A true pro works for his opponents. Ambrose followed good arm tosses and wore down Rollins with good arm wear down technique. This was good but fell a little short when Ambrose comically tried to wrench the arm for a fun moment which stalled the progress of legitimacy. Rollins was then huddled by his entourage outside. 

Ambrose laid down in the ring for fun moments which were rather silly and should never travel the John Cena comedy route. Rollins worked back into it with good, heavy foot stomps. 

Ambrose went high to the top rope but Mercury's distraction caused him to be upturned in the corner. Rollins drop stomped on Ambrose from the top turnbuckle to change the pace of the action. 

A smooth level of action with punches and technicality made this match not only equal but of high entertainment value for fans alike. Professional, it was carefully laced with strong technicality that can only prove positive if both stars follow it rightly. 

Ambrose returned with a flurry of punches as kick reversal pinfalls came next with Rollins too as the match took some tense two fall thrills. Daredevil Ambrose charged over the top to Rollins sending both down at the outside by the announce tables. Strong counters were again the highlight but Rollins used the second rope on a backslide but the ref caught him. 

Rollins smashed a kick to Ambrose's jaw for a quick two fall. Ambrose did his 'wacko' tongue point out moments as he went for a suplex on Seth at the top corner post. Rollins changed into a Sunset Flip but Dean held on. Ambrose threw them both outside with a follow up clothesline.

Outside Ambrose eyed up J and J allowing Rollins to gather time and powerbomb Dean on the barricade outside to crowd elation. It was a two fall back in the ring only. The fans were on side for the "Awesome" match up as Rollins smashed Ambrose in the face with a flying top corner knee . 

"You think you're championship material?" Rollins asks Ambrose on a beatdown.

Ambrose gained scores of close falls at two with a changing beatdown of Rollins which Seth made look textbook. Ambrose has a lot to thank Rollins for. He made him legitimate in these strong cross overs. 

Ambrose relied on the comical and starting to be typcastly daft middle rope flip counter clothesline thing and followed up by taking all the crew out on the apron. Ambrose scaled high but launched to the outside on the crew instead. The Lunatic Fringe had a moment of weakness to stop 'em all.

Ambrose's acrobatics with a slide into ring counter clothesline followed as he took to the air again. Ambrose nailed a smash down as the ref and Rollins were taken down. Rollins followed with a stunning corkscrew Twist. Ambrose countered with the Dirty Deeds as he covered the champ. No referee was there as an official hurtled down the ramp to slide in and count the cover on Seth Rollins as Dean Ambrose nailed a long three fall victory to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. The crowd cheered but was still somewhat mild for the new champ. It wasn't what WWE were hoping for. The sexy brunette ref debated with the new official. The blonde stand in referee told Lillian Garcia Dean Ambrose was the winner, but by way of Disqualification. Rollins pulled the original ref into the way ruling the DQ. It was over. Seth Rollins is still the WWE World Heavyweight Champion in a swerve decision.

Roman Reigns arrived and helped Ambrose smash down the dirty outsiders. Ambrose celebrated with the World title and took to the mic. "I won this match, which means I'm taking the World Heavyweight Championship. No one's on your side right now, huh?" he said to Seth Rollins as Ambrose hijacked the Heavyweight title. It was the lunacy IC title thievery once again. That didn't work out well, so why did WWE assume this would fair any better? Ambrose celebrated in the crowd with Reigns and the fans, raising the title high in joy.

Are WWE testing whether Ambrose is title material? Did it ruin Seth Rollins as a champion of sheer value who has truly changed WWE's title race for the better? 

PPV Rating - 4/10

Men/Women of their matches - Antonio Cesaro, Naomi, John Cena, Bo Dallas, R-Truth, Seth Rollins

Man/Woman of the PPV - Dean Ambrose

Novel was the concept of Elimination Chamber making its return not to be recognised as a spare part PPV. That in effect is exactly what it became. Ill thought through, wasteful and ignorant. WWE are starting to place themselves, under Triple H's leadership, in a very troublesome time for its future growth. Even Vince McMahon has quiet concerns over his failings to fully achieve. HHH hates the fact McMahon respects those who know how to get product to work together than favouritism brought up from the brink of a pothole known as NXT. Spare a thought for those in there for other three years proving themselves for some random favourites to sideline them and fail vividly on the main stage. Triple H's pet projects in Sin Cara [Mark I], Kharma, Paige and the 2013 Tag Team resurgence have sunk as quick as they came up. Now its Sami Zayn, Neville, Kalisto and Kevin Owens. Oh dear. Does he ever listen? Does he even want to? Can he? Triple H's biggest test at running WWE will fall to one thing. His ego.

Naomi and Nikki Bella added fresh perspectives to the battles in the Divas  division. The return of the wasteful ignorant flunkie Paige added no value and once again clogged up the scene with a lacking space that could have been filled by others. WWE should call up Emma, who is extremely impressive with athleticism and maybe Charlotte and put them in the title race with Nikki and Naomi to boost their skills and flesh out the diva's scene. Brie will also have new opponents in the interim too. Charlotte would be better as a bad babe and Emma can transcend unilateral positions.

Bo Dallas did his best in the 'take a break' spot. He worked well and gave good opportunities to Neville, who still has mountains to climb in WWE at this time. It will be a work in progress based on individual instances, by the seems of it. 

John Cena excelled himself for the first time in ever and we are finally glad to be able to write something positive. The only problem is, was it down to just how bad his opponent was that made him change, or was it his own doing? Either way if Cena keeps the change up, he could grow and develop better than previous stale years. As for the ignorance of Owens, he needs to be dropped imminently and fired. He is a waste and a public embarrassment for WWE. Triple H testing the water and avoiding all advice is a foolish and troublesome vision to behold. While he thinks he has power he can abuse, always remember, with these circumstances, while you might think it and have every resource to help, you will never, truly win. It is best to keep your allies on side, and those who you might regard as enemies, even closer. To go against the grain for fun is simply idiotic and can never achieve a positive. Warning signs were given. Likely Trips will have to 'accept' wrong doings can have consequence. Let them come. You have much more to lose. Hopefully he can figure out what truly is "Best for Business" than personal favourites.

The Intercontinental Championship was the biggest waste to ever grace the Chamber and a WWE card to date. What a mess. Sloppy and irrelevant character did not envisage a future among WWE. Many on the roster are capable and ready for the spot or a call up. Ryback will never materialise and is best off without WWE. What will he honestly offer the product? Clogging up finances when someone who really wants the spot can truly run with the ball? Skip Sheffield is long gone. Ryback needs to do the same. It is a failed concept which will never work. Does that mean that the cursed IC title was given to him for the sake of it? Great way to devalue what was once the greatest title in WWE for a long time by fans on its own merits. Currently, it is a joke.

The tag team titles in the Chamber were the first and most interesting of the battles. While some dodgy tag teams, which should be disbanded (some people are better on their own) WWE can make things work if they get things in order. It probably should have also added the Mega Powers, Damien 'Macho' Mandow and Curtis 'AxelMania' (as Hulk Hogan). Hey, if it can make joke act Santino Marella credible in one Chamber, the Mega Powers, which WWE could seriously run with as a strong and legitimate team, initially founded on a joke, would really deliver for fans and the scene. Though it will always come down to WWE booking, won't it? 

Dean Ambrose is too reliant on lunacy gimmicks and costing himself as a main event performer, let alone a mid-card one. While tonight he transtioned from his bubble mostly, he reverted into it a tiny portion more than he should have. This battle was a great piece of action, though Rollins upheld the match structure and should have been respected more than a dirty victory and a gimmick title change. Stealing the belt like the IC title is also another idiotic mishap WWE should really avoid. As a challenger Ambrose has options and it was great to see a level of his original technicality arise in the show, as well as Rollins. It suited them perfectly. Is Ambrose ready for the gold? Like Reigns before him, WWE have been trying so hard to push those two as its main stars that they have no real direction and strong backstories to achieve it. Only Fools rush in. These two need more time and can play in main events, but it needs to have a legitimate glaze over than cheap tactics. These are the future of WWE, apparently. From all of this over hard pushing of the two, the one WWE neglected, was the breadwinner of all, Seth Rollins. Look him now. He should have a longer and more healthy reign. Survivor Series could be his biggest test, but he should go strong till then with a clean and legitimate title run, even if he is dishonourable. Ambrose's landmark event of winning the main title was dashed in a swerve joke on him. A future prospect? Hmm... Not looking too great with that wayward booking approach. 

As a PPV, where WWE needed to figure out how to resurrect the Chamber from the obscurity of storage, WWE inserted the Chamber too quickly and too loosely without any build up that harmed more than helped certain people. The concept is in danger of becoming worn out when choices like this and title change overs of idiocy reign highest. WWE really need to figure out what, or indeed who, can help it for the future. If WWE can get over their stubborn bubble and include the one that can drive them to future success as a team than a show off, egotistical, self interest bragging rights, WWE might just reclaim numbers, stock and return the fans to their full WWE height of thrill. Currently fans are demistified. A clouded purple haze over WWE, especially after the excellence of Extreme Rules and Payback, back to back, were strong winners for the company, is troubling, even if they wish to forget it. Wise up, be mature and think professionally. Or sink in future. WWE's doors will always be open for a very long time, but it will lose it's reputation, style and place as a great experience people actually want in their entertainment or sporting interests. 


© Max Waltham 03rd June 2015

All Rights Reserved 



Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Kaitlyn’s admirer revealed


Kaitlyn’s admirer revealed




This Monday (10th June) night’s episode of Raw saw WWE Undisputed Women’s champion, in the form of the butterfly belt, Kaitlyn come face to face with her secret admirer.

The revelation came after Kaitlyn, in a revealing skin felt mesh top, without her title, nor defence of it since her debut victory in January, was unveiled as Big E.Langston.




Langston entered with flowers and titled his romancee in the ring attempting to kiss her before slamming Kaitlyn down and hurling the flowers at her. No, it was not Langston after all, but mischievous former friend AJ. As she strutted to the ring, AJ berated Kait, where ‘lyn’s acting was dire at seeming teary which sounded like a bellowing laugh instead. Kaitlyn quickly turned and floored AJ with a slap, which was daft when the angle was to make Kaitlyn vulnerable, not the aggressor. 


This was used as a mechanism to set up their Payback title match delayed from the last Pay Per View past.  


The original plan was to have Mark Henry become the admirer and turn babyface before he irked management by nursing his recent injury. Henry lost his spot. She ain't getting no sexual chocolate now. WWE are planning Langston to turn instead. Both choices are absurd.


Kaitlyn's planned new love
Wrestling Wonders saw an opportunity to create a feud, two new stars and raise Kaitlyn’s company stance as well as then having AJ use her mocking angle after regardless.



WWE could have resented numerous options as shown below.




Vickie Guerrero

Asked if one was serious for such suggestion, yes, we were. Vickie could have used this as two ways, one AJ’s fling with Dolph Ziggler could have been seen as ruse to get him toward the world title, with Vickie in a position of power, and either get back with Dolph, turn him babyface as wWE considered previously and then Dolph (or even Vickie) could have swerved the other and ditched them for going on to better things.

The Great Khali

As undercover investigator and a very bad one at that making no progress at all, Khali could have switched to Kaitlyn and set up a rivalry turning Natalya back heel to challenge for the title with powerful aggression, or indeed Kaitlyn could have turned and gained more esteem as a talent on air.

The Bella Twins

Vengeful and nasty girls, they could have set another battle for the title, granted with little mileage.

Someone from NXT

This wouldn’t really work out but the option is a considerable one at least. Bo Dallas would probably be the only candidate as an NXT guy seen previously on WWE TV as a main name. NXT stars should be floating around WWE premises beforehand if it pushes them onto TV in situations like this later on in programming.

Dolph Ziggler

Even dirty Dolph could have got in on the swerve on AJ.

That WWE chose to pick Henry and AJ was rather wasteful, clueless and uneventful after all the hype of lunacy involved. Fans were just pleased it wasn’t an even more ridiculous choice in Hornswoggle.

Should have brought out Tamina's banana again. That would have had more interest. 




 ©  Max Waltham 11th June 2013



Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Royal Rumble 2013




Rockin' the Royal Rumble 
a decade later! 



WWE presented their twenty-sixth edition of the Royal Rumble extravaganza live on Sunday January 27th from the US Airways Center in Phoenix, Arizona. With The Rock firmly in place from many months ago for tonight's main event, will he leave with the most coveted prize in sports entertainment he returned for? In addition to this, would WWE be able to produce a great card with its other superstars and set up any strong lines to a future with the chance to create a new superstar of the back of the very Royal Rumble match itself? Let's delve a little deeper...


World Heavyweight Championship
Last Man Standing 
Alberto Del Rio (c) w/ Ricardo Rodriguez Vs Big Show



As Rio makes his entrance to the ring through the corridor backstage, with Ricardo taking his time and Rio stressing they are on and need to move it, Bret “The Hitman” Hart talks to them beforehand expressing how much Rio reminds him of a Mexican Bret Hart. Hart also places the pink shades over an excited Rodriguez.




Big Show starts by taking Rio to the corner with headbutts and fists. Show knocks into Rio to knock him down. It was a basic Big Show match with bog standard practice once again. Knock, fall, wait. A Last Man Standing match was a perfect place for WWE to mask Big Show’s inaccuracies. He can remain down on the mat whilst gaining time to figure out his next match spots whilst resting due to his incapabilities in the ring with minimal action.  



Del Rio returned fire with some further impressive flight, including a hurricanrana as a huge selling point to this match. Landing a seated senton on Show, then aims to follow up with the cross armbreaker however Show counters into a slam of sorts. Rio returns to his feet after a minor count. Show delivers chops and brings in a steel chair for extra punch. “Ce” rings out fro the WWE Universe in an intense display showing just how over Rio is when combatting Show with the chair. Rio soon takes a chokeslam and makes it to his feet. Rio works Show down with a kick to his goolies, which saW Show pause in the ring for so long in a disgraceful manner that he almost forgot where he was in an attempt to convey the pain and took ages to sink like a stone which was just dire. Rio gave a boot to the head for extra measure on kneeling Show to take down. Show soon rose up again after a lengthy nine count.



Both manage to trek backwards to the arena entrance stage where both alarmingly climb the scaffolding structures above. Show wrenches a chokeslam on once more and hurls Rio off plummeting into a table below, randomly in place for extra measure. Rio was down but prevailed at a nine count.

The two soon travelled back to the ring outside, where Ricardo attacked Show from behind. Show responded by tossing Rodriguez into the barricade. The most obvious charge was coming. Rio, by the corner barricade, waited for Show to launch a running spear, as Rio swiftly moved and sent the powerful block that was Big Show obviously through the barricade which broke in another traditional booking ideal for Show’s, uhm, structure. Show managed to make it to his feet once again.



Rio smacked Show’s back with chair shots in the ring, then locked on the armbar submission to slow down the giant. On the outside, Ricardo Rodriguez scurried to the bottom rope where Show’s feet were level, and pulled out and tied the ever deadly duct tape around Show’s feet. Fans were furious! Shades of John Cena/Batista at Over the Limit drove them nuts. WWE booked another duct tape tie feet down ending causing Big Show to fail to stand up before a count of ten claiming Alberto Del Rio as the winner in a tedious, disgraceful and destructive way for Rio to win on a technicality that does not portray match excellence nor even rules of the Last Man Standing requirement. WWE don’t realise they ruin the star they try to make just as much as the one who loses they try to protect.


Har Har CM Punk, Bertie's got Balloons...
The three stooges AJ, Dolph Ziggler and Big E. 'background character' Langston were interviewed by Matt Striker. Ziggs said that his ex-girlfriend and Managing Supervisor of Raw, Vickie Guerrero was “Bitter, jaded and pathetic.” Ziggler’s new girlfriend spoke for him adding “Dolph can’t do it? My Ziggy isn’t good enough?” Dolph ended he planned to cash in at Wrestlemania so he can “unify” the World and WWE titles. Yeah, good luck with that. It is also encouraging to see AJ adopt “Ziggy.” Previous endorsements include “Ziggs” “Zigglesworth” “babe” and many others from Wrestling Wonders. You’re Welcome!

He ended “Show……………..

OFF!”

WWE Tag Team Championship
Kane and Daniel Bryan (c) Vs Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow



Bryan and Rhodes set the tone for the beginning with equal trading of blows as Bryan locks a Mexican Surfboard on Rhodes, after which tags Kane in. Kane gains a quick two fall, before controlling. Rhodes soon switches and dropkicks Big Red. Sandow enters to double team though depleted by Kane. Bryan and Rhodes re-enter for some technical tussling for a while in a credible display until Sandow regains a tag with a side Russian Leg Sweep to allow a drop of the Elbow of Disdain for a two count on Bryan. Cody returned to work a double team well, further highlighting the tight connection in Rhodes Scholars. Cody later adds on a submissive hold on Bryan well.




After Kane returns to head to the turnbuckle, Sandow retaliates as the pair duke it out with Kane getting the better of him and knocking Damien down. Kane tumbles down as Sandow moves to land a swinging neckbreaker beautifully on Kane with swift transition for a two fall. Rhodes enters to halt a double clothesline, only to both double team Kane with his manoeuver failing to notice Bryan blind tag in just before Kane fell victim to the duo. Bryan flies a missile dropkick into Sandow, while Kane somehow returns to chokeslam Cody. Daniel Bryan slams on the YES! Lock forcing Sandow to delay the inevitable and tap out and secure the tag team championships for Team Hell No in a tremendous display.




The Rumble match looms. It’s not going on last, naturally. 

30 Man Royal Rumble 

Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Santino Marella, Drew McIntyre, Titus O’Neil, Goldust, David Otunga, Heath Slater, Sheamus, Tensai, Brodus Clay, Rey Mysterio, Darren Young, Bo Dallas, The Godfather, Wade Barrett, John Cena, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, The Great Khali, Kane, Randy Orton, Jinder Mahal, The Miz, Sin Cara, Ryback

Kicking off the Rumble encounter itself, Justin Roberts (No Howard Finkel!?) informs the rules. Every 90 seconds, that’s a minute and a half, a new superstar will enter the match.



The first two take their places. Number 1 was Dolph Ziggler. Number 2? Usually the first two are for big stars to get the show going, and sometimes a shock return. Many though it would be John Cena. It was a returning Chris Jericho! What a shocker. The crowd were wild for this one. They chanted “You still got it” in a nonsensical, do what is always the standard as they don’t know anything else to say. Jericho barely began wrestling before this chant was mentioned and Jericho had also returned last year proving he ‘had it’ with his in ring performances.



No. 3 strode out after his previous match. It was Cody Rhodes. Jericho superplexed Ziggler while Rhodes came along. Y2J instantly clotheslines Cody. Ziggs and Rhodes soon double team Jericho, now down in the corner as most standard Rumble booking adopts. Y2J later clasps on a Walls of Jericho on Cody, broken by Ziggler. Kofi Kingston then enters as the number 4 entry. After some high spots and attempting to ditch Dolph, Cody plans on taking both out. No. 5 returned from injury to surprise everyone. Santino Marella joined the festivities. Marella goes for Rhodes and Jericho together, now combating. Somehow, ‘Tino has the ring all to himself, centre, to pull out the Cobra, nailing Kingston. 

Chris and Cody then eliminate Marella. He was first out. Ziggler and Rhodes join forces once more to remove Kofi, who valiantly defends his position. Man number 6 is ‘the chosen one’ Drew McIntyre. Jericho almost gets eliminated but holds on, time enough for number 7 to enter as Titus O’Neil. O’Neil still hasn’t learned how to work in the ring and relies on muscle mass to carry him. He had terrible exchanges with Rhodes and Kofi with a double clothesline takedown. O’Neil hurls Kofi over the ring in a pointless display that did not create any levels of being a ‘beast.’ Titus tried to eliminate both Ziggler and Jericho, in the same two for one spot again.




Number 8 became the second surprise entry. Goldust. The formerly fired for terrible output on Smackdown while in charge and PR disaster on Twitter preaching to and blocking fans for disagreeing with his Christian beliefs returned. Cody waited for Goldie to approach. Both had a brawl of minor proportions, before Goldust downed Ziggler. Rhodes supports bro Goldie but soon gets dusted off with a right hand instead. Cody is almost eliminated by his brother, but holds on. Goldie received a few crowd responses.



Ever favourite and useless bulk David Otunga became number 9. He became a distant memory instantly. Heath Slater joins as #10. Sheamus follows as 11. Shea launches Otunga into O’Neil, knocking Titus out of the ring. Otunga clambers to safety on from his near loss, only for Sheamus to slam a Brogue Kick to eliminate him.

Tensai joined at number 12. “Albert” rang through the crowd once more. All the same chants. The audience became more mindless than the WWE product. Tensai nails headbutts on the Celtic Warrior. At 13 the funk is on, as Brodus Clay joins the frucous. He drops Jericho before squaring off with equal frame Tensai. Rhodes and Goldust return to centre focal point, taunting by Rhodes and smacking Goldust in the gut. After some on apron tight tussling, Rhodes sends dust into the post and eliminates him. Yes. I know what you’re thinking. This sounds so repetitive and exhausting.

Number 14 was a returning Rey Mysterio. Hitting Ziggler and the Jericho with a 619 and frog splash, Cody almost sends Rey out, just in time for number 15. Prime Time Junkie Darren Young. In a blind and unseen how it happened uprising; Brodus Clay was against the ropes as everyone swiftly united to tip the funky dino out of the ring. Ludicrous.

What happened next was plain ridiculous. Obvious was the notion that springy Kofi Kingston would have the ‘stupid spot’ once again. Previous years with John Morrison and last year’s Kofi ‘thrown over the top rope but not touching the ground to re-enter the Rumble’ farce continued. Ziggler hurled Kingston out, who lands on the back of Tensai, whom Kofi just eliminated. Using Tensai to land onto the Spanish Announce Table, SAP Kofi Kingston avoided elimination and contemplated a launch from table to the ring. Instead, Kofi grabbed a swivel chair, stood upon it, and hopped along on the chiar to get to the ring for re-entry. It was absolutely pathetic. Cody Rhodes then eliminated Darren Young and threw a disaster kick into Kofi to eliminate him seconds later.

At 16, Bo Dallas entered the Rumble. Dallas had previously won an NXT contest with seven other men one day earlier to gain a place in the match. Alex Riley and Michael McGuillicutty didn’t feature.




No. 17 came in the form of, The Godfather! With his Hoeski’s alongside, Goddy entered the ring for literally a second before Ziggler eliminated him. The announce team acknowledged this surprise entry as “one of the shortest” to which WWE seem to have a fascination with short record scorings. It was a complete waste of a character and a spot, not that WWE care for its viewing audience. Godfather lives in the area, and is always a shoe in for the match when Raw Roulette is scheduled for the following evening. Wade Barrett enters next at 18 to no interest or dominance.

No. 19 was John Cena. Everyone looked at Cena as a potential threat. Yes. When Cena is present, everyone must drop everything and focus on WWE’s premier superstar. Jobbers unite as Barrett, Ziggler and Slater join to attack a rushing Cena, who fights every one of them off with ease. Cena instantly eliminated Heath Slater and Cody Rhodes. Jericho took on Cena after the impending superhero charge of doom. Jericho was almost sent out until Dolph Ziggler (?) saved Y2J, his nemesis, for an even greater pain in Cena.  Cena even went for the rookie Dallas after, who fought Johnnie Boy off. No. 20 arrived attempting to save us all. Damien Sandow. He goes for Dallas with a knockdown. Out of nowhere, Wade Barrett catches Rey Mysterio then slams a boot into Mysterio to eliminate him for the Rumble. Sheamus hits Wade while Jericho counters an Attitude Adjustment from Cena. Bryan flings high kicks to Barrett. Bryan almost sends Jericho out, as Sheamus helps.

Antonio Cesaro entered at 21. Cesaro gave an impressive uppercut to Dallas before going for Y2J in the corner. The Great Khali joins at 22. Barrett, Sandow and Dallas receive disgraceful chops. Cesaro is still trying to eliminate Sheamus, who moved onto him after Jericho. Confusing, right?


Thanks for coming.
Kane came at 23. He took on Jericho, Ziggler and Khali. Sheamus and Sandow are now going at it. Eh? Where’s Cesaro? Wasn’t he with Sheamus? Kane then dropped a headbutt on Antonio Cesaro. Oh, there he is. Zack Ryder then enters at 24. There was no impact. The unthinkable then occurred. Daniel Bryan eliminated Kane in a chance opportunity! Kane was livid. Cesaro then bumped Bryan over the rope to the outside though landed onto Kane in a bearhug clutch. Bryan’s feet did not touch the ground. Bryan yelled “No!” as Kane retorted “YES!” to encourage audience participation. They blindly joined in. The chants are starting to peter-out. Kane’s visible hilarity at the chants while holding Bryan face to face were too much not to laugh to himself which was highly humourous. He couldn’t contain as much as he tried. It was more humourous to see, so this actually pleased than annoyed. So, is Kane gonna drop him or what?

Kane was a good sport; he placed Bryan back to the apron. Bryan was thankful with a sigh of relief at Kane’s glaring eyes. Until, The Big Red Monster pulled the rug from under Bryan, still locked with his legs and swiped him onto the floor. Daniel Bryan was eliminated for his betrayal.

Randy Orton joined next at number 25. The crowd gave a huge reaction to WWE’s hottest hunk. He ploughed through Barrett, Sheamus and Ziggler following up on Ryder and Dallas. Orton slams a devastating RKO on Ryder, then eliminating him from the match. Cesaro and Barrett work together aiming to silence Rand, just in time for number 27, Jinder Mahal. It was a wasted spot of non-importance.

John Cena somehow instantly eliminates Antonio Cesaro with ease in a pointless decision.

Sterling workers for WWE's future
The Miz strides out at 28. He instantly charges at Cesaro making his way to the back down the ramp after Miz failed to capture the US title in the pre-show battle beforehand. Is an honourable man meant to be bitter with sneak attacks? Miz apparently injured his ankle in the pre-show, as expressed by mouthpiece Michael Cole.

Jinder Mahal is eliminated somehow. No fuller details were shown.

Anti-climax Sin Cara returned as number 29 in the biggest disinterest from the audience, who were expecting bigger things from number 29. Cara returned from injury.

There is only one person left, and everyone knows who it is. Sheamus almost sent out Cara instantly.

A shock elimination occurs as Wade Barrett is eliminated by Bo Dallas. Bitter bore Barrett waited for Dallas to return nearer the ropes to smash a bullhammer elbow on him causing elimination from the outside. These eliminations are terribly acted and ruin the feel of the Rumble, but, the principal is that Dallas was in the match and then out, and those are the ‘rules.’ These should be booked minimally, but WWE constantly book them which causes problems with its over reliance of repetition and audience segmentation.

It's not working.
The last man comes. Number 30 is indeed Ryback. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Monstrous Ryback came in and flattened everyone. My god, what a beast! Ryback is so powerful. He took out everyone with ease. Wow. He shoved everyone down, then, he scooped up Sandow and eliminated the scholar from the scurmage. Cara unloads powerful kicks on Ryback but they do not affect the brick muscle mass powerhouse block of unmovable power that is Ryback. He eliminates Cara quickly with no powerful moves and throws him onto Sandow, outside. Miz attacks from behind quickly. Ryback is too powerful for that. Ryback simply tosses Miz out to elimination. Bye.

Chris Jericho attempts to take down the hero of the ring. He lands a Codebreaker. Powerful Ryback fell to that move from veteran Y2J. Jericho now lands a Lionsault on John Cena who has resurfaced somewhere. Jeri dropkicks Sheamus but manages to avoid leaving the match. Y2J clotheslines Randy and delivers a Codebreaker to Ziggles. Ziggy then superkick’s Jericho in retaliation. Hmmm. Oh, this move eliminates Chris Jericho, by the way.

We now have a final five. Not the traditional four. Sheamus, Cena, Orton, Ziggler and Ryback remain. Ooh, tense. Orton drops clotheslines and destroys everyone with RKO’s in succession. Orton goes for a DDT second rope smash on Ryback, stuck in-between the middle and top ropes somehow. Tangled up, Ryback, the grand monster of supreme domination clotheslines Randy out of the Rumble. Yes. Randy Orton is out of there. Fans were peeved a meathead no-name dropped Orton.

Carnage continued as bodies flew all over the place in a mish mash of whatever it was. Ziggler hangs on to the ropes after finding himself near the floor. Sheamus rushed a Brogue Kick into Ziggler to eliminate the blonde blunder.

Cena and Sheamus join to double suplex Ryback. Both then look up to the Mania sign before the signal to battle one another. It’s a typical Cena flurry of missing, non-impactful punches routine until going for a five knuckle shuffle halted by Ryback with a clubbing clothesline. Oh gawd. The clothesline is returning in the over repetitive writing context.

Sheamus counters Ryback’s Shellshock backbreaker with a White Noise backbreaker. The Great White goes for another Brogue Kick, which fails dismally, as the great powerhouse superstar that is Ryback scoops Sheamus up and drops him over the top rope to eliminate him. It was that easy.




So its John Cena verses Ryback. Cena begins brawling. Ryback lands a spinebuster. Cena then captures Ryback into the STF. There was no pressure on the hold again and the over animation of teeth gritting orgasm was dire. The big powerhouse monstrosity that is Ryback passed out to John Cena. Cena rolled him over to lift him up and sits Ry-b atop the rope turnbuckle. The beast that is Ryback awakes from his slumber and launches a Lou Thesz press on Cena. He slams Cena’s head into the mat before scooping Cena up. Cena slips out from underneath Ryback and simply shoves him over the top rope. John Cena has won the Royal Rumble. Thrilling.


John Cena wins.
See bottom for elimination order list.


WWE Championship
The Rock Vs CM Punk (c) w/ Paul Heyman



The pair instantly brawl to begin the match after their intense promos previously shared in the build up on Raw.

Rock attacks. Punk outside. Heyman hovers. Strong Rock presence and charge for Punk. Dismantles SAP table as predicted. Punk puts lid back on as notion of respect. Rock attacked with boot gut by Punk. Heyman creeps up behind with a club to Rock's back. Punk clotheslines. Punk tends to the SAP table again. He puts the lid back on and laughes. Punk has some difficulty lifting Rock. Snapmare and a boot to the back of Rock. Rocky has an electric crowd in attendance. They came for him. Punk clasps around with body scissors. Heyman staring poignantly. Tension bubbles perfectly. 




Punk lands a heel kick to Rock’s face after an inverted atomic drop. Punk maintains control of the match working The Rock’s torso over. Heyman takes a second swipe behind the official's back of the Brahma Bull. Un-allowing a second assault from shady Heyman, Rock hunts down Heyman with his piercing red eye. Infuriated, the Bull forces Heyman backward in the corner outside unaware of Punk attacking from behind in a pincer attack to remain on top, knocking Rock to the ground.    

Rock leads a good proportion of the match wearing down Punk’s tender knee pain as Punk turns the tables throwing to the outside and launching himself with a torpedo dive at Rock. Rock later changes the pace and attempts the Rock Bottom, though countered by Punk elbows into a GTS though Rock too swift for that retaliates by catching his exposed leg and clasps the Sharpshooter on Punk who switches into the Anaconda Vice in a tense, rapid exchange of near attacks.


Rocky avoids a near loss dropping the DDT as Heyman watches on. Rock responds for another Bottom to which Punk counters, where Rock now firmly sticks CM into the Sharpshooter. Punk escapes to the outside as Rock gives chase decking with a clothesline and begins dismantling the SAP table. Rock ferociously punches Punk as he smashes Rock’s head with a leg shot. Positioning Rock atop the table, a GTS follows to no avail. Rock plans the Bottom once more however the table collapses underneath them both. 

A while later they get back into it in ring. The Rock finally attempts a crucial People’s Elbow. All of a sudden the lights blackout! Oh my god, is it Chris Jericho? Undertaker? We don’t know. The lights are down for a while as scrambling is seen in the dark with sound of attack. Michael Cole screams in the darkness about The Shield. The lights return to show an incapacitated Rock sprawled out in the middle of the announce table collapsed on the floor  as Punk is down in the ring. Convenient time for the lights to get fixed. Punk has a little smile, laugh and implores he has no idea what has just happened. He was in the ring at the time, down, of course. How could he know?

Punk manages to heave Rock into the ring, finish him off and cover for a three fall. CM Punk just defeated The Rock and remains WWE Champion.



As Punk widely celebrates his triumph, the Chairman of WWE beams out to greet the champ. Reminding Punk that if The Shield made a presence in the match in one way or another, Mr.McMahon would personally strip CM Punk of the WWE title. Heyman pleads on all fours not to follow through as McMahon intends to strip Punk. Punk’s saving grace, his former foe, The Rock, catching his breath from outside in a slump by the barricade, “No No No No No…” adding if anyone would take that title from Punk, it would be Rock and Rock alone. Requesting McMahon restart the match, the Chairman complied. The match is restarted.




WWE Championship
The Rock Vs CM Punk (c) w/ Paul Heyman



Punk scrambles over returning Rock with a flurry of hits. The crowd are fired highly. Punk scores a knee to the head falling The Rock again. To finally end his opponent's chances in style, Punk scales to the top turnbuckle and lands the flying elbow drop. Rock managed to kick out at a very tense two fall. Punk goes for the GTS as Rock slides out of the hold to return a spinebuster on the defending champion. The Rock issues one last try with The People’s Elbow following with a cover on CM Punk to gain a three fall and win the WWE championship in an outstanding match between the two.



Man/Woman of the PPV – The Rock

Men/Women of their matches – Alberto Del Rio, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, The Rock

PPV Rating - 4/10

WWE billed its Royal Rumble PPV around The Rock which was a wise decision to gather interest early on. Choosing to put Punk in the spotlight was also a valid choice. Despite instant belief Rock would outright win was suspended beautifully by the series keeping both lines of competition available meaning Punk could have been a promising challenge to Rocky. As every match should, both rivals should have supporters in each side to add extreme weight to any contest and only Punk and Rock achieved this milestone since nearly a decade of wrestling in WWE. Nothing came close. Punk simply doesn’t have the competition, which is also the company’s problem. It has lined out only one champion at a time and only one constant for money making principals that the ten years timeframe has suffered and numerous revenue could have been made more than off the back of one star overall.

The Royal Rumble match could not go on last because of a) its result and b) Rock’s return and the restart plan to drive home protecting both champions of this generation to its audience. The Rumble was a chance for those not winning the match to at least impress and WWE made it so standard once again that it was difficult for anyone to do so. They could not show their main potential they could have for future matches. Perhaps WWE felt they needed to neuter them not to conflict with the main event. This is one theory but not in place. WWE just book the match the same way, everytime, rendering it a tedious joke when this phenomenon used to be the best match for thousands of modern WWE fans. They expect something special and the standard of today is to line up a Mania match between a comfortable superstar than a new rising star with great opportunity to provide a future and add huge growth to a star. This is usually the general purpose of the match itself and if is being forgotten then WWE should consider revising its formula. Either scrap it or re-book it the correct way in principality.

Those who did however standout were Bo Dallas as the surprise to many, Cody Rhodes who is still mistreated and Antonio Cesaro. The rest were surplus bodies in a numbers game.


WWE should have placed in Brad Maddox and even considered a victory. It could also have regenerated Michael McGuillicutty or Alex Riley also if placed in and donated time effectively. Those who don’t win have opportunities to create an opening of rebuilding esteem, often ignored again.



Image Credit: WWE
McMahon thought a win-win situation by putting Cena, the youthful favourite against Ryback, the John Cena clone that fans who oppose Cena and also oppose Ryback would have ‘no choice’ than to cheer Ryback. How flawed that perception was. Both were turnoffs to viewers and remain so and the fans, though are easily led into manipulation from WWE, weren't that easy to control with Sheamus nor Ryback formulas. It was a throwaway opportunity. 

Don’t blame Cena. He’s been ‘good’ all year. He hasn’t loitered around or been involved in the WWE title picture for over a year. You know, that’s a record for the WWE cherub to take a back seat from clogging up the product with the title.

Royal Rumble was highly disjointed and could have been exceptional if WWE figured out how to do so, but are stuck in their ways and haven’t understood how to create a new formula that only certain people can muster. They need to get those people to work with them than against them in order to protract quality and prestige it claims it aims to project than just booking the ‘big one’ for 'Mania, yet again. Once in a lifetime has now become twice in a lifetime, soon to be third in a lifetime at, wait for it, Wrestlemania 30! All to set up one match. Fans feel cheated of last years 'one time' and this year's Rumble opportunities available to freshen the product. 

The tag team championship was a decent effort from all four men and could be in line for a more healthy outlook. The problem is that when these four are not involved or changing sparring partners, WWE’s teams are filled with terrible disgraces and inconsistencies that instantly undo all that is done. WWE need to cut the weak from the chaff. The Prime Time Players add nothing and must go. They are borderline racist, cannot work and are not actually doing anything good in the ring as personalities. Dead wood must be cleared. Team the loitering newbies and NXT’ers on the roster. You have never needed them more. Bryan and Kane has its shelf life, though was necessary to win tonight.

Alberto Del Rio’s turn to the good side was an obvious matter of time and has become an invigorating way forward for him, WWE and the audience. Upholding the title match. Rio also encouraged Big Show to work a little better than others he has previously battled. Show is still vastly ignorant in the ring and it is not helping, so the drawing board must be approached. Everyone needs to think about the direction Show can feasibly have and what he can do to get this across. That will restore him to an extent and add audience interest. His role in title pictures, however, must be resigned. Rio made exceptional work and held the show, pardon the pun, together handsomely. Most would have struggled. This proved another one of WWE’s key talents revealed when it finally decides to put forward new prospects. It should not unify titles when talent is so low and needed on both brands, either. That is a pointless decision that benefits no one. Once it is done, it is hard to come back from. It will not work based on stubborn pushing forward of ideas.

The 1970s approach to star making is not the era that is in ever changing audiences in 2013. He who adopts this way of lifestyle must understand those Hulk Hogan archetype action figures are not the ones that drive the future anymore. Yes, some must be brand identity aspects, but when it comes to the overall brand of what WWE stands for, it needs to prioritise the most vital parts in order to maintain its value.

No divas? Kaitlyn was scheduled at the last minute to battle Tamina for the title as champion after Eve left and Kaitlyn won in her hometown on Raw two weeks ago. Allowing its own division to collapse and do nothing to resurrect it is just abhorrent disgrace from WWE, highlighting that it has no idea on making future aspects anymore and only seen as chasing mainstream headlines and money making ‘big’ match ventures at ‘the big one’ in three months. She may be terrible, but months ago we 'told' you Kaitlyn would be champ soon. Oh come on, it's fun "weeeeeeeeeeee!"

WWE are planning Layla to turn heel on Kaitlyn as we speak. There are no other options in line.  

Based on returns alone and entering everyone on the card in double duty was its forthright. Stars in matches should not be entered into the Rumble itself, or have we forgotten brand identity once again just as the supershow and title show swapping lunacy? So who of the entries would have benefited from the win? Antonio Cesaro, Randy Orton or The Miz and yet all of those names are not of 'importance' to make the top. Cesaro is not to be rushed yet but could theoretically challenge and lose at 'Mania to build profile. Miz is in desperate need and winning yje Rumble could revamp him but his stock has sunk. Orton is the only option but didn't need it, therefore WWE should have selected entries more crucially. 

Oh, and WWE should have stuck Aksana in there this year to help her beau. Of all the females, she was most feasible to go in. If WWE can finally raise Natalya up instead of bogging her down, then she could make massive impact next year, but WWE aren't, uhm, 'big' on her.

What happens when the big money makers, for whatever reason, are all gone? When you haven’t made anyone else? There is nothing left. The end result is to pack up and go home. Most of the WWE Universe have clearly sent this message to WWE over the last year, included with its viewing decline. It’s time to wake up, realise, leave the ego at the door and place those stepping stones, or simply resign your grand vision to dust. Nothing is eternal, but allowing it to fall without any attempt at protection is catastrophic.


Order of Elimination list below.


1) Santino Marella (by Cody Rhodes)
2) Drew McIntytre (by Chris Jericho)
3) Titus O’Niel (by Sheamus)
4) David Otunga (by Sheamus)
5) Goldust (by Cody Rhodes)
6) Brodus Clay (by multiple people)
7) Tensai (by Kofi Kingston amid others)
8) Darren Young (by Kofi Kingston)
9) Kofi Kingston (by Cody Rhodes)
10) The Godfather (by Dolph Ziggler)
11) Heath Slater (by John Cena)
12) Cody Rhodes (by John Cena)
13) Rey Mysterio (by Wade Barrett)
14) The Great Khali (by Kane)
15) Kane (by Daniel Bryan)
16) Daniel Bryan (by Kane)
17) Zack Ryder (by Randy Orton)
18) Antonio Cesaro (by John Cena)
19) Jinder Mahal (by Sheamus)
20) Wade Barrett (by Bo Dallas)
21) Bo Dallas (by Wade Barrett)
22) Damien Sandow (by Ryback)
23) Sin Cara (by Ryback)
24) The Miz (by Ryback)
25) Chris Jericho (by Dolph Ziggler)
26) Randy Orton (by Ryback)
27) Dolph Ziggler (by Sheamus)
28) Sheamus (by Ryback)
29) Ryback (by John Cena) 



© Max Waltham 30th January 2013

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