WWE’s Payback PPV is often known
for serving up its rare, unusual and best cards in spite of mid-month PPV booking
calamities. The most apparent and outstanding bout was a hidden gem between the
pre-show combatants. Coming live from the All-state Arena in Rosemont, Illinois
on Sunday June 1st 2014 fans had questions. Would WWE strip Daniel Bryan of the
gold? Would the short stacked card deliver what was necessary for fun filled
fandom. The final question resurfaced. Would CM Punk return? Read on to find
out.
Pre-Show
Hair vs Mask match
El Torito w/ Los Matadores Vs Hornswoggle
w/ 3MB
Now you know why Hornswoggle grew
a hideous bunch of hair. It was a slight letdown however when Hornswoggle
shaver El Torito was met with no resistance from Hornie. Alas the match was
superb for midget wrestling, often classed as plain ridiculous under WWE
standards. This one was a great exception. Outside interference was natural and
supported the placement well. The pair held a well together match worthy of the
main card.
United States Championship
Sheamus (c) Vs Antonio Cesaro w/
Paul Heyman
“I am here to advocate for a Paul
Heyman guy.” Paul Heyman spoke. “CM Punk” bellows from the crowd over the former
Max Waltham Paul Heyman guy.
“I’m sorry, he’s not here
tonight.” Heyman answered.
Upon an instant, one second
arrival Sheamus was heavily boo’ed by the Chicago fans. Cesaro came out looking
like a fool marching with his puffed out chest in a bold stance that did not suit
him in the jacket.
Sloppy Sheamus began charging
into Cesaro like a wayward brute. Fast paced effort from both not to seem boring
was appreciated. Sheamus was viciously boo’ed.
WWE’s lacking of star building and muscle favouritism has proved costly. Cesaro
German suplex pin in hold missed, reversed by backbreaker pin for a two count from
Sheamus.
Texas Cloverleaf by Sheamus. Cesaro
grabs the ropes. Caught into swing, Sheamus spins for twenty-one revolutions.
Sheamus swang well in hold. Sheamus then quickly gains a small package roll up
after a twenty-one swing spin fest. That’s right, in WWE, the strongest of
stars can avoid being dizzy and give no sells to the competitor which mocks the
performers, titles and fans. The roll up fluke victory for Sheamus left fans
peeved, regardless of Antonio Cesaro’s loss. It was about feeling conned. It
felt lame.
Tag Team
Cody Rhodes and Goldust Vs Ryback
and Curtis Axel
The mash up music is loud
annoying and stupid for the Rhodes Brothers. Last time as Michael McGuillicutty,
we told Curtis Axel not to wear a bandana type apparel again. His career failed
as a result. He came out in a putrid red beanie hat which makes him completely ridiculous,
just when he was starting to turn his career around.
WWE expected fans to go through
this pathetic late addition match of no interest. It’s a sad time for WWE if
this is the best spread they can lay out. Crowds where only chanting “Let’s go
Axel”.
Fans were fed up so much they then chanted “Let’s
Go Goldberg” in defiance before instantly boo’ing Ryback when making a
comeback. The fans are telling you all you need to know. They are sick of it.
Cody Rhodes failed to make any impact
as the in-ring failure was Shell Shocked by Ryback after Curtis Axel was dumped
to the outside to pick up the empty victory. “You need a better tag team
partner than me. “Cody Rhodes told brother Goldust.
Rusev w/ Lana Vs Big E.
Lana annoyed the crowd with an
ode to Vladimir Putin as the greatest leader. This was the change for Rusev to be
“now residing in Moscow” instead of Bulgaria. He came out and waved a Russian
flag so horribly like a piss poor seal fresh out of water. His career will be
down the pan in six months.
This prompted former Intercontinental
Champion Big E. Langston to wave an American flag which was done very hunchbackly.
These were so horrible to watch. The Big E. charge off the apron was the
matches’ big moment. Rusev just hasn’t got it.
Kofi Kingston Vs Bo Dallas
It was time to Bo-lieve. Coming
out with a smile that looked horrible and some lame music, Bo Dallas was apparently
“undefeated” at 2-0. WWE and the announce team seem to have forgotten about Bo Dallas
as the Intercontinental champion some year ago. Bo then dissed the Blackhawks
game this evening, to which CM Punk may be at.
The ring burst as Kane then entered
the match instantly. He attacked Kofi Kingston. It was a pathetic booking to
the show. Payback is pathetic. Kane chokeslam and tombstoned Kofi and then left
as ‘Inspirational’ Dallas hovered over Kofi and told him to “Bo-lieve.”
Intercontinental Championship
Rob Van Dam Vs Bad News Barrett (c)
Wade Barrett began with his squawky,
one dimensional howl of nothingness from his eagled beak.
Barrett used the trademark sleeper
back elbow hold as stereotyped format would have it.
A standard fight followed. They
took it outside. Rolling Thunder missed as a back hind kick countered. Barrett
avoided more as RVD nailed the Rolling Thunder. Following with a five star frog
splash missed. Whirl sideslam from Barrett now. Barrett missed RVD outside and
smashed his arm into the ring post. RVD gained a two fall. The Bullhammer came out
of nowhere and connected from Bad News Barrett in another fluke win over Rob
Van Dam.
Daniel Bryan Wold title
surrendership
Stephanie arrives.
Stephanie ‘don’t attack my kids’
McMahon went on about how ugly Bryan and Bella’s future kids could be if they
decided to have any.
Heat machine Steph built on it
adding “These people want you to quit just like CM Punk did.”
Bryan responded with “Narcissistic,
self-centred, what’s that word I’m looking for?”
Wife Brie adds “Bitch!” The crowd
cheer “bitch.”
“Now I see who has the real guts.”
Stephanie irked.
“You can’t fire me.” Brie finalised
to Steph. “I quit!” Brie yells as she then slaps Stephanie in the face.
Stephanie runs away in pain and upset.
The segment is officially
strained out till next night on Raw.
While the angle was good and well performed by all it was still short of real
emphasis on what could have been. The dragging of heels is becoming stupid.
Last Man Standing
Bray Wyatt w/ Luke Harper and
Erick Rowan Vs John Cena w/ The Uso’s
Somewhere, he’s out there, among
the Universal lights as WWE showed he Universe lighting all their phones in the
dark.
WWE explained this was the rubber
match. This one is about to end here tonight, presumably. Before the action began The Uso’s charged to
Cena’s side. The fans boo’ed loudly for the stupidity in having the tag champs
with Cena. This made the bout completely wasteful before it began. Cena
faceplanted Wyatt quickly. Wyatt smacked Cena down. “Nothing seems to bother
him, you can’t get in his head” Michael Cole added regarding Bray.
Bray dominated Cena with corner
runs. Cena instantly reached his feet then went down on a knee backbreaker. It
looked weak for both men. “So unorthodox. You never know what’s coming…”
Michael Cole reiterated.
Sister Abigail blocked early as Cena
lightly pushed Bray who elbow smashed Cena down for a seven count. Cena soon countered as both went down. Both
get up as Cena ran into a well caught Sister Abigail. Cena hits an Attitude Adjustment.
As Bray sat in the crab the Wyatt
Family entered as The Uso’s helped keep order taking them down. Harper left
with Cena was distracted and took out Rowan. An Uso climbed to the top rope to
drop on Rowan outside. Cena turns around to be hit by a chair in the ring by
Bray twice. Cena outside uses the chair before using inside again. Cena tried
an Attitude Adjustment but was caught into a table drop by Bray.
Cena pummelled Bray outside. Cena
hurled the steel steps over the top rope onto Wyatt outside. Bray landed Sister
Abigail outside swiftly on a Cena approach. Cena soon put in his laughable
routine of comedy trying to be interesting and walking backwards as if dazed.
It looked completely kak-handed. He then droped an attack on Wyatt outside.
Harper and Rowan take Cena down but rush to help Wyatt to his feet. Jimmy and
Jey arrive but Harper soon smacks the table ringside into an Uso’s face as they
attempt a running dive.
Amid the confusion the announce
team explained Bray was down for at least a ten count but the run-in confusion understandably
stopped the ref’s count. The Family and The Uso’s predictably took it to each
other with Harper suplexing one Uso through the stacked table outside in the
moment of the match.
Bray rushes into Cena by the fall
away barricade padding at ringside. Bray takes Cena through the crowd. Bray
flings Cena into the audio equipment with a massive thud. Cena tackily jabs
elbows into Bray as a high pitch woman screams as Cena Attitude Adjustments
Bray into a case. He then tips another briefcase stack over the case to trap Bray
Wyatt and win under yet another gimmick. John Cena always wins with a wimpish
victory just like the ductape debacle years ago. Once again, it ruined Wyatt
and failed to protect Cena. It was another throw away battle that gave nothing
back.
Divas Championship
Paige (c) Vs Alicia Fox
Fluke champion Paige entered to
quiet reception. Paige missed a through ring arm jab instantly. Clumsy Paige
then bumped her body onto Alicia’s in the corner instead of ramming her. After
Alicia walked around the outside Paige pushed Fox into the barricade. Fox then
amazingly launched Paige over by the hair to the ground from the ring steps. Fox
wrenches the defending flunkie champ into a crab submission. Alicia dominates. Two
fall. Alicia held Paige sideways and ran her to the middle rope throwing her
out. Alicia guides Paige with instructions before Paige then hits moves on
Alicia to stage a comeback. Paige tries the Scorpion leg lock. Alicia Fox easily
taps out to allow Paige the continuation of a fluke victory. Paige once again
did nothing at all and has been placed with low pecking order fodder to try to
establish a profile which is non-existent. Triple H’s personal project is an
ultimate flaw.
“I said silence.” Alicia screams.
Alicia’s temper tantrum, which originated from a ‘Max Waltham meltdown’ on
Twitter over previous Raw’s gave a
new characterisation to Fox. Unfortunately for her and WWE they can only carry
it for a few week’s before failing to understand how to fully make it work
charismatically. Temper tantrum Alicia runs to the back with flimsy arms
rotating all over like an idiot. Another daft decision.
Six Man Tag Team, Elimination
No Holds Barred
The Shield Vs Evolution
Vain egotist Triple H sent out an
Instagram picture of his trained body. Please. Randy and Batista were looking
good and Batista is now clad in blue trunks, long sweat bands and boots. It was
hot, but the arm pads were too long. Try them a bit shorter. The rest is fine.
The Shield arrive. All go at it. Batista
has trouble tipping himself over the barricade, but it allowed us to get a
sneak peek of his booty. Silver linings. Batista and Reigns were at the top
titantron. Rollins and Triple H go at it in the crowd and Orton and Ambrose
lock up outside the ring. Batista and Rollins
work well together with Batista holding charge. Orton in and floored by a
Rollins dropkick in good exchanges between the two. Ambrose joins. Randy Orton
took the knee drop to the face like a pro. Batista’s massive sweat seen. Yummy.
Haven’t seen this in a while. Sweat makes a man.
Batista enters as Reigns takes
power control. Triple H could be heard instructing Ambrose who clearly knew
what to do. He tagged in Reigns after a smooth leg move and roll through to
corner tag. Reigns was now sweaty glazed. Roman Reigns adopted the triple vertical
suplex.
Batista outside rams Ambrose to
the barricade and drops him on it. “Boo-tista!” chants rain as Batista is
working very well tonight. At this point we are informed the WWE Twitter
Universe have constructed the hashtag #Bluetista. HHH and Ambrose carry the
action. A bounce off the ropes onto HHH bides time. Reigns tagged in and unloads
on Batista. Takes down Orton and HHH. Runs around ring for head kick to Batista
in the ropes. Reigns charges the superman punch which missed unfortunately, and
took a two fall. All taking it to the crowd now. Rollins jumps into a metal
object by HHH. Reigns dismantles the Spanish Announce table, as Orton breaks it
up. HHH re-joins to fling Reigns into steel steps. Orton clears the table.
Evolution prepares Reigns for their triple team attack. They drop the triple
powerbomb on Roman Reigns. Evolution stand and look. Ambrose jumps across the
other table onto all three upon return. Rollins launches out of the ring over
Orton and HHH. Orton slams Ambrose onto a stacked chair as The Shield are soon dominated
up the titantron by Evolution. Triple H pedigrees Seth Rollins on a chair. The
trio head back to the ring to deal with Reigns.
HHH calls for the steps as Orton
and Batista strip Reigns’ vest off. Some wolf whistles were heard. Over the
steps Reigns is smashed with Kendo sticks. Reigns jumps over the steps and Superman
punches Orton, beat down by the others. Reigns is now sent up the ramp. Ambrose
comes back but wrangled down. The free hoist him over the ramp of the entrance
lights as Orton drape DDT’s Ambrose. Rollins appears from the top of the ‘tron
and takes all three down. Everyone crawls to the ring as Rollins halts a
Batista charge. Rollins jumps from top turnbuckle to be speared on the spot.
Batista Bomb countered as Roman Reigns quickly spears Batista. Rollins covers
Batista, who gets eliminated.
Orton slams an RKO but Reigns
saves a close two on Rollins. Ambrose clouts Orton with a chair and a DDT on
the chair to eliminate Randy Orton. HHH lands a low blow on Ambrose. Roman Reigns
Superman punches HHH as a spear by Batista is smashed in upset return for
earlier elimination.
Orton slips the sledgehammer to
HHH. Ambrose is skulled by Triple H. Rollins dives on HHH and Reigns leans over
Triple H to cover and win the match for Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman
Reigns.
PPV Rating - 6/10
Man/Woman of the PPV – Batista
Men/Women of their matches – Antonio
Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Big E., Kofi Kingston, Rob Van Dam, Bray Wyatt, Alicia Fox, Seth
Rollins
For WWE Payback could have been
better, but it still managed to deliver a pleasing show all things considered.
The Shield and Evolution rematch held its ground and the trio kept their core
being over the re-hashed ego centric Triple H club in Evolution.
It’s a shame that as soon as
Batista is leaving WWE from his part time contract his new attire, look and his
interaction in this match made him the most interesting, skilled and standout
of the night. Once he’s getting good, it’s about to disappear. Along with an
exceptional crew, the six man battle was fierce, fun and a pleasure.
Alicia Fox failing to dethrone
the flunkie title might be one thing, but Paige as an inconsistent, fluke and
inadequate in-ring champion is detrimental. She cannot carry the title and
should be dropped. He last months bungled battle on Pay Per View with this one
is a shining testament to that. The longer you take, the worse it gets. Is
Triple H’s ego for trying to get fans on his side so distorted it will cost and
entire division instead?
Antonio Cesaro’s slow build is,
well, something. What it is can’t quite be classified. HE’s got the skills and
we put him forward, but WWE only put him with Sheamus to protect the US champ.
It made Cesaro look pathetic. It, once again, is being done all the wrong way.
Big E. and Kofi Kingston shouldn’t
have got out of bed. These were pathetic entries at the last minute, despite
their best efforts to keep it together.
Curtis Axel needs to dump the
hat. As well as Ryback and all the losers around him. He was starting to show
promise again, but WWE dropped it.
Rob Van Dam still did his past
routine of yesteryear, however did try to mix it up a little, which is
encouraging. He performed well with Barrett and had to work with the lame duck
to make a credible match.
Bray Wyatt was not allowed to
beat company hero John Cena. Looking entirely weak thanks to Cena, WWE, at the
height of one of its newest and most intriguing stars, is drawing shirt straws.
WWE should have stripped Daniel
Bryan of the title and had a match to crown a new champ tonight. Such indecision
was feeble on WWE’s part.
If WWE cannot figure out what to
do, strain angles over time and make a strong tough decision than a random
match thrown at the last minute to fill time, WWE is in trouble of discriminating
its PPV buy rates. Most people forgot Payback was broadcasting tonight. These
signs are not encouraging in the slightest and WWE need to re-structure its
management to really focus on what’s key. I’m only one email away, babe.
© Max Waltham 02nd June 2014
