WWE Hell in a Cell 2013
WWE’s 2013 instalment of the
steel cage structure Hell in a Cell screened live on pay per view on Sunday October
27th from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida.
After the Orton/Bryan drama, no
champion and a returning from injury John Cena would WWE be able to settle a
level of stability and strength in placing its workforce competently?
WWE Tag Team Championship
Tag Team, Triple Threat
Cody Rhodes and Goldust (c) Vs Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
and The Uso’s
The announce desk informed us the Rhodes Bros have 30%
chance of retaining.30 x 3 = 90. 90% still leaves 10% spare. If you don’t know,
nor understand, don’t say it. Goldust and Rollins begin the bout where Jey Uso
was tagged in from Rollins after being run by Goldie. Quick cover from Goldust.
Tag of Rhodes in. Takes a one fall. Jimmy Uso tagged in as Rhodes remained oblivious.
Rhodes begins a bonkers appraisal, clapping of the Uso, for upstaging him.
Goldust comes back in. Headbutt from Uso as tag made. Jey slapped by the golden
C3PO gimmick. Reigns blind tags in as Uso was flung to the ropes as Reigns trips
the feet of Goldie from outside to gain an advantage. Rollins outside attacks
as legal man then covers inside for two. Rollins tags Reigns to isolate
Goldust, taking a two fall.
Goldust forced into a fierce arm lock sleeper. Reversed into
a backslide pin for two from the movie loving golden dream. Crawling to tag
missing and covered by Reigns once more for a two count. DDT on Reigns to gain
separation. Rollins tags in and dropkicks Rhodes off the apron. Goldust
counters making it to corner. Rhodes not there forcing Cody to tag in an Uso,
potentially winning. Goldust back in as The Shield blindsided both Uso’s as
Goldust attempted to make a tag. Rhodes enters with a cheap shot before getting
back to apron. Rollins’ tantalising voice taunts “poor Goldust.”
Reigns runs into a scoop slam from Goldust. Tags in Cody.
Takes down Reigns on apron and Rollins into roll through two fall. Climbs atop
with a Moonsault, practically missing every possible connection required when wayward
flight to the right of opponent. Uso made a tag on Cody who missed the Disaster
Kick to Rollins. Two fall only. Reigns saved a second pin. Goldust caught on Reigns
as Uso tilts them over, having to double tip Reigns over in tentative hold up.
Uso charges outside over Goldie and Reigns, while other Uso charges at Rollins,
who kicks out at two. Rollins drops rope as Uso climbs. Rhodes tags in from Uso
but battered into corner by Rollins.
Placed atop turnbuckle. Both on top now. Rhodes suplexes
Rollins to the outside on top of all the combatants. Rollins sold it like a
pro, with strong fluidity on collision. Ref counted a two as Uso jumped onto a
covering Cody over Rollins breaking the count. Spear by Reigns out of nowhere.
Uso’s out as fast as in by Rollins. Seth hit by Goldust as Rhodes back in.
Goldust plants a right hand on Rollins knocking him back into a lurking,
despondent Cody Rhodes to grab a cheap pinfall to retain the tag team
championships. The terrible mash up music continues.
The Miz decided to give a monotone promo after a pathetic
limp towards the ring. The laughable Miz then called out Bray Wyatt. What an
absurd decision to make. Miz laid himself wide open to Wyatt as the fodder he
is. Upon speaking to the wrong level of media attention, Bray Wyatt answered
The Mizes call.
 |
| Moronic Miz gives an 'interview.' |
“It pains me to see you like this. Like a man who has
nothing left to lose. Please understand, your words mean less than salt to me.
If you could only see the monster that lives behind my eyes. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa”
Wyatt laughed.
Rowan and Harper then maul the lacklustre Miz. The crowd chanted “We want Kane.”
The flames then burst on the titantron as Kane charged down
the ramp and took out Wyatt’s lackies.
Kane then predictable and pleasing chokeslammed weakling Miz
in a pleasing display. It also ticks off our dream feud posted months back of
Kane Vs Miz. Though, now, The Miz is clearly beneath the fire breathing
monster.
Impromptu
Mixed Tag
Fandango w/ Summer Rae Vs The Great Khali and Natalya w/
Hornswoggle
Dancing with the superstars saw Fandango wiggle his booty
and Summer Rae shake her, ahem, assets, what of them. Rae enters her first
match in WWE, on prime time. Good luck dolly.
 |
| Squarker Rae. |
Fannydangler told everyone to “Shh!” before asking the
audience what they knew about Salsa dancing. “There is only one true master of
the art of Salsa.” (Ahh, look at you resigning yourself to my net worth.) The pair actually attempt a Salsa dance with
appropriate music, soon interrupted by their opponents.
WWE have decided that the unexplained break up of Nattie and
Khali is now magically back on after Rae had a scrap with Natalya, previously elsewhere.
Just like that, a match is born and a pairing is resurged with no logic
involved whatsoever. “This is the WWE and the rules can change.” – Triple H. Let us also not forget WWE splashed Natalya's wedding to husband Tyson Kidd all over the E Network on Reality Show Total Divas!
Khali battles Fandango in a daft exchange as Rae and Nattie
work together. It is up to esteemed female Natalya to work Summer Rae to a
decent match, of which Natalya did excellently despite Rae’s inability to be
interesting enough. Rae bounced off the rope with a toe trip planted. Rae
screams in the corner as Fandango is tagged in and Natalya grabs the dancer for
a sharpshooter, avoided. Hornswoggle outside mocks Fandango as a gripped trunk
grabs Fanny D. Fandango soon gets the best of Khali in the ring soon after.
Natalya tries to slap Fandango from the apron as ‘Dango
misses and lands into Khali’s instead followed with a boot. Rae tagged in and
smiles to dance around Khali in a promiscuous fashion as Natalya charges in and
suplexes Summer Rae all over. Nat kicks Rae in the face with a clothesline for
good measure. Rae reaches ropes after a sharpshooter attempt. Summer Rae then
rolls up Natalya and gains a three fall victory for her and Fandango over The
Great Khali. That’s how a WWE diva’s match works, folks.
Impromptu
United States Championship
Dean Ambrose (c) Vs Big E Langston
The basis for this bout? On the pre-show Ambrose and
Langston had a verbal disagreement leading to a fight, so Smackdown General
Manager Vickie Guerrero booked the title match. Langston was due to battle
Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship on the pre-show. WWE, high on
Langston all of a sudden, was thrown into yet another match of no importance.
Langston botches a fast attack on Ambrose knocking him down
and falling over Amborse sideways in a rushed pin. WWE describe Langston as
having an “IT Factor” about him. Ambrose caught in a charge held by Langston.
The pair work down in the corner. Langston’s superhuman strength allows being
hit by Ambrose with slaps and chops to no effect. The destructive force that
was Dean Ambrose is easily pummelled by Langston. Ambrose worn down in a
bearhug. Breaks free only to be hurled over to the outside, hurting knee on
fall. Ambrose countered Langston attempting to lift him back inside. The pair
try to suplex one another on the apron between the ropes. Ambrose gets the best
of Big E sending him outside. Big E almost counted out breaks at a near eight.
 |
| Has "IT" apaprently. |
Ambrose uses hard kicks and a wear down in corner of opponent. Attempts to
climb above with widened open legs above Big E’s head. Someone whistles.
Langston block barges Ambrose into the ring so pathetically with a touch to
break free. Clothesline’s taking down the US champ with a cover of two from
Langston. Runs ropes to drop and body squash, missing and into the ground. Then
quickly gets best of Ambrose again. Then splashes Ambrose successfully again in
an all too easy exchange. Liability Big E gashed above the eye. Ambrose had no
other option but to audibly direct Langston and dropped a DDT for two fall.
Ambrose flung into turnbuckle post as laggy Langy charges a spear to Ambrose
taking both outside the ring, top centre.
Staggering Dean Ambrose was fed up and became counted out after
retrieving his title to leave. Big E. Langston followed Dean Ambrose, still United States Champion, sneaking up on him to
drop a Big Ending finisher planking flapjack thingy and raised the title above
to signify the new challenging series. Challenging is the operative word, for
certain.
Langston’s Ho train attack was shown again where he busted
himself open. Yes, a simplistic move as that broke Langston open.
2 on 1 Handicap
Hell in a Cell
CM Punk Vs Ryback and Paul Heyman
After Punk and Ryback enter, Heyman makes his way to the
Cell on a driving stairlift being operated by a moron who doesn't have a
driving licence and went round in circles. Absolutely hilarious.
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| Devilishly good. |
“I am the best in Hell! You sold your soul to the devil, but
I am not just Paul Heyman, in WWE I am Satan himself, and right there is the
man who is going to steal your soul. Now is the time that I collect, because CM
Punk, I have risen from the depths of hell and I have ascended to the top of the
world for my name is Max Waltham Paul Heyman, and I own C, M , PUNK!” as Heyman
was lifted upwards to the top of the Cell.
Punk charges into Ryback and takes his ankle down while
stomping on toes and body. Punk charges into Ryback near the door through the
ropes as Ryback moans on his back. Punk grabs a kendo stick and smashes it over neanderthal Ryback. Ry-b tells him to get up and slams him back and forth as
Punk lets out a yelp. “You’re a Punk!” Ryback yells.
Back in ring Ryback uses the stick in the corner as Heyman
glares down from the centre atop the Cell. Ryback slowly walks Punk around with
a few jabs. Flings Punk into corner. Drop slams down on Punk missing any
contact. “You can’t wrestle” plagued boreback. Punk gets back with grabs and
tips rope down as Ryback traditionally falls over the rope to outside. Punk
climbs the corner again to smash down on Ryback. Ryback pathetically charged
into Punk reaching for something under the ring. The crowd laughed.
 |
Punk vs Ryback last year at Hell in a Cell, with Kendo Stick
and extra influence. My, how things change. |
Ryback runs into Punk on the narrow strip between ring and
Cell pitifully. Ryback loudly tells ref to “move” as he suplexes Punk into the
steel a few times with no painful impact whatsoever. It looked ridiculous. Back
in ring Ryback covers Punk for two. Heyman on top of the Cell watching. Punk
aims to reach the kendo stick lying in ring. Ryback has trouble holding Punk on
his back to drop down Punk in a weak exchange. Ryback wraps arms around the
guts of Punk. The sound of the crowd was empty. Punk hits knees of Ryback on an
approach. Runs a jump up knee to no feeling. A couple of Punk chants begin to
stir some hope for the worker who will be excused for having Ryback. Punk isn’t
exactly excelling, is he? Ryback talks again before lifting a Shell Shock as
Punk blocks it. CM Punk grabs the kendo stick nearby and smashes it into
Ryback.
The comedown period continues. Punk runs a touching knee
into Ryback. Elbow drop from Punk got a two count. Punk brings in a table as
cheers begin for some excitement in the match. Ryback wakes and give Punk a
club to the back to stop him. The table sideways set, Ryback tries to powerbomb
Punk through it who counters and instead Ryback turns and lifts Punk’s goolies
onto the table where Punk hovered over before sitting down on. It was a terrible
enactment. Heyman laughs.
Ryback sets table properly as CM Punk hits a low blow as a
fan favourite to the nasty monster Ryback. Punk uses the turnbuckle to gain
leverage in putting Ryback through the table in the only defining moment of the
match. It wasn’t that great, either. Punk smashes the stick again over Ryback’s
skull and hits a GTS for CM Punk to cover Ryback for a three fall victory in a
tepid encounter. Punk looks north to Heyman.
“Where you going to go?” Punk Skywalker asks, equipped with
kendo stick. (Again)
Jerry Lawler states “What goes up must come down.”
Punk climbs the top with stick in his pants by his butt
crack. Grabs Heyman’s collar and violently hits Heyman with the stick aggressively.
Is an honourable man supposed to do this? Heyman lifted into GTS position as
Punk knocks Heyman down to the Cell centre roofing patch.
Tag Team
Los Matadores w/ El Torito Vs Antonio Cesaro and Jack
Swagger w/ Zeb Colter
Fernando and Diego grace PPV for the first time with their
little raging bull El Torito. The guilty pleasure, filled with humour, interest
and a level of workability, the trio charged down the ramp. Agile Torito runs
rings around the battle arena while Michael Cole breaks kayfaybe all over the
place for El Torito the great.
Colter, armed with microphone begins his verbal onslaught.
Telling the ‘immigrants’ they are criminals, Colter also attacked the crowd
with his xenophobic levels of propaganda on immigration.
Cesaro and Diego begin as Diego flips over the rope of
turnbuckle well. Works Cesaro decently. Cesaro then flings Diego to the outside
where Swagger botches a running charge on the outside.
 |
The Un Real Americans |
“The only masked man who wasn’t a criminal was the Lone
Ranger” JBL discusses with Cole.
Swagger takes charge inside before tagging Cesaro in. Cesaro’s
bulging muscles shone through with an aggressive and tight head/arm lock of Le
Matadore. Cesi smashes a boot into the waiting matador hoping to tag in. It’s
time for the ever available Cesaro swing on Diego. Cesaro swings and swings and
swings near a rough thirty no doubt in a daft yet impressive fling around.
Luckily JBL was counting and informed he swung a recorded thirty-one times! I
need to book Cesaro for that party piece. Swagger took charge in ring with no
interest as filler while ‘Toni dealt with other one outside well. Cesaro holds
rope further away as Swagger has one in submission. Cesaro got butted off as
the other matador smacked Swagger as, presumably, Diego? Grabbed the three fall
for himself and Fernando.
Colter was ashamed and dismayed with his boy’s loss in
middle of ring slamming the mat in frustration. El Torito flung over Zeb and
minicanrana’ed Cesaro attempting a save as he butted his horns into Zeb’s derrière
once more akin to the Smackdown
prior, and launched on top of both Colter and Swagger to silence the nauseating Colter.
World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio (c) Vs John Cena
Cena returned from his two month injury tonight, instantly launched
into the World title match with Del Rio. Cena will be working with a taped up
arm. Will Cena win or will Del Rio gain the advantage of the injury returnee?
WWE love to keep you guessing.
Intro’s over the pair lock up. Cena audibly instructing Rio
in a loose headlock of next match procedure. Rio already works injured arm as
announce booth heavily focus on it directly. “Let’s go Cena/ Cena Sucks” plagued the
match again. Cena runs a light touching shoulder barge with no effect to knock
Del Rio down. The pair square off again, stalling for time. Ri runs a boot to
Cena’s head who drearily tilts his head down inside slow motion like a limp anti-climax.
Rio runs the ropes, giving Cena a light tap to the back going outside as
Michael Cole debates claims Cena has “gone soft.” What irony. Del Rio follows a
two fall. Cena botched a boot to the face from Rio twice, failing to connect
anything. Cena reverse’s Rio’s run with a toe hold. Rio gets a German suplex
and two cover. Grips Cena into arm back hold. Aggressive arm wrench from ‘Bertie.
Rio stood with a hand lock over Cena for some time, bellowing messages to the
inept Cena what to do next.
Cena makes the comeback after talking so visibly to Rio once
again. Cena rolls a flip and dropkick on Rio, running into a forwarm on Del Rio
as Cena just back sits down. Rio up top jumps down level and taps stumbling
Cena down. Rio applies another arm lock. Cena just opens Rio arm to drop down
as Rio gets best, runs the ropes and crashes through ropes to outside as Cena
simply moves aside. Sandow was shown seconds ago watching on the backstage
screens.
Rio taunts hand gesture of Cena who jump up kicks Rio from
top drop turnbuckle again. Cena too easily lifts Rio with a slow lift and drop
before following the five knuckle shuffle. Rio counters the AA with a double
knee backbreaker. “Se Se Se” rings out. Rio runs into a Cena elbow jab. Cena
gets a two fall. The Cena indifference chants begin again in loud motions. Cena
jumps up an enziguri on Cena climbing the top turnbuckle. Sandow watching again.
Cea walk runs to miss enziguri to give Cena a comeback who
slowly runs the rope into a Rio whirlbackbreaker for two fall. Rio places Cena
backward and down on the corner post to kick him then run into him, where Cena
lifts himself up. Rio smashed into the turnbuckle himself as Cena climbs atop
to jump a cross body “for the World Title!” Michael Cole proclaims.
 |
| Chitter Chatter Cena |
Rio regains control again and puts cross armbreaker on as
Cena easily slips out and applies the no pressure STF. “He’s got it locked in
good” Cole adds after seen with a huge gap in submission hold. Rio gets fingers
on the rope which coutns as a break. Rio smacks a kick to Cena for two again.
 |
| "He's got it locked in good." |
Rio relocks the cross armbreaker. Cena powered up with a in
submission to lift up powerbomb as always to change the pace. Rio countered AA only
to be recountered into it. John Cena pinned Alberto Del Rio to lift the World
Heavyweight Championship in the biggest miscarriage of justice on WWE TV. Fans were furious, and not in the correct
aspect of wrestling values. Many felt WWE crapped on its own division once
again to reward an out of play Cena a championship so freely. “John Cena
silenced the critics” the ever delusional Michael Cole bleats after fans were
ever so critical of Cena’s glowing accomplishment of workrate to win a title.
Job squad Dolph Ziggler, poster boy R-Truth (with claims of
failing a second wellness test covered up by insiders of WWE, allegedly) and phantom
Diva Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn wittered on too long as “former best friend” AJ’s music
began.
WWE Unified Women’s Championship
AJ (c) w Tamina Vs Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella
Hidden in the guise of the platinum butterfly belt, AJ was accompanied
by heavy Tamina. Lock up with instant scream of Brie. Why? Just why? Pair break
and stair off. AJ slaps and hits Brie who punches down AJ in a replay of the
exact Battleground match 2 weeks prior. AJ wrenches arm of Bella who flips a
slam. AJ taps into back of Brie and chin lock pushes her back against rope
falling Brie to outside. One fall for AJ. Brie scream “Ah!” constantly. Nikki
bellows “come on Brieeeeeeeeeeeeee.”
 |
| Similar scene from Battleground two weeks prior. |
AJ works down Brie minimally. Slow pace
into a neckbreaker as Brie screams on EVERY move taken. “Awwww!” “Uhhhh!” Brie
continues as she and AJ began a series of numerous uneventful reversals. AJ now
sits on Brie in wrap around lock. Screams “Tap Brie!” as before. Brie runs a
screaming run to break and an “Uhhhhhnnn!” dropkick. Screams something to the
crowd.
 |
| "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" |
Brie, STFU!
Brie pitifully
dropkick and clotheslines with sound bellowing on every ove continually to no
effect on partner or crowd. Funnily guys start objectifying the girls with wold
whistles. Nikki then runs around and hits Tamina as AJ was in submission. AJ
avoided as Brie smashes in Nikki. AJ graps the Black Widow submission on Brie Bella
who pats AJ’s thigh to sumbit and lose the chance to become the champion.
WWE Championship
Hell in a Cell
Special Referee – Shawn Michaels
“Insolence will not be tolerated” – Stephanie McMahon Raw. Stern warnings to Randy Orton from
Michaels if Orton lays hands on HBK in the match. Triple H’s assessment of “B+
player” Daniel Bryan doesn’t see the goatface superstar as “Best for Business.”
The held up WWE title is on the line. Both Bryan and Orton have been transitional
champions and Michaels vows to crown a new WWE champion from this crippling and
defining steel structure. Whose your money on? Bryan, Orton or No-one? Here we
go.
 |
| Mentor Michaels to Rookie Bryan. |
Triple H could not resist popping down clutching ‘his’
prized possession, the WWE Championship. A title Hunter claimed “Randy Orton
carries for me.” He shakes the Viper’s hand, then extends to Bryan after
taunting the title in front of Bryan as the Cell descends locking all three
gents inside.
Start to the running outside, Orton chases Bryan who heads
back inside swiftly. Orton follows and catches Bryan with a run into hard scoop
slam by Orton. Early double DDT foiled as Bryan scales top rope. Knocks down
Orton and follow kicks to gut in turnbuckle. Orton responds with run ropes
dropkick keeping momentum well. Bryan hoisted onto ropes from chest drop onto.
Once again on east side of ring ropes to the gut of Bryan. Orton charges Bryan
into the Cell off the apron afterwards. Flung Bryan into the steps and
dismantles more. Orton barges the heavy steps into Bryan’s shoulder. Orton sets
vertical steps in corner. Reversed Irish whip on outside into the steps by
Bryan changes gameplay. Kicks and hurls in the cell and steps of Randy’s head.
 |
| Pals Hunter and HBK |
Bryan takes a cover inside failing to win. The vicious YES! Kicks
follow. Lift and sits Orton up on turnbuckle in a good exposure. Tilts Orton upside
down as Bryan runs to corner to charge into Orton with the crowd “ohhhh”ing in
anticipation. Bryan launches outside ruing dives on Orton into the cell until a
third attempt saw Orton avoid and throw an airy Bryan into the steel for good
measure.
 |
Experience Hell in a Cell combatant.
Also sporting a fierce body. |
Bryan was soon smashed into the turnbuckle then
backbreakered to the outside charismatically. Orton headbutts Bryan in a new
level of interest. Bryan punches Orton’s mid-section, countered a flip down and
smashed a stunning powerbomb onto Orton. Uppercut and punch exchanges from
Orton and Bryan respectively. Yes/No indifference also added from on goers in
the crowd. Bryan runs two corner charge dropkicks
to Orton. YES! Kicks continue with a hurricanrana off top rope adding weardown
on Orton. Bryan drops a diving headbutt to gain a two fall. Miss around nail o
roundhouse kick countered by Orton, soon counter by agile Bryan with a
submission. Orton humphing in mild pain as Michaels responds he can’t break
hold in this legal structure. Bryan works Orton into the cage meshing with
another running dropkick in such narrow space. Brings chair into play smashing
the back of poor Randy, in severe pain.
Bryan added a constant amount of chairs to the ring as Jerry
Lawler asked JBL how many chairs were in there. Answer? Ten. Plus the one Bryan
is holding. Yeah, we do the research, you know. Bryan stuffs the chair into
Orton’s gut and over the back before placing inside the ring. Orton jumps up
and rakes the eye of Bryan. Jabs the chair to Bryan’s body and gains two fall.
Swings the chair for more impact and gets a two for Orton once more.
“Kid continues to stay in it” Michael Cole says as Orton
failed another chair to pin fall two count. Orton suplexes Bryan atop the turnbuckle.
Tense scenes as Bryan knocks Orton down, who charges back with a tough jab.
Orton hooks Bryan’s head and throws the leg backward with a crushing suplex
into the chairs below. Orton covers for close two fall. Orti debates with the
ref as Triple H marches to the ring displeased. The crowd cheer for Triple H
with “A**hole!” Argues with Shawn as Bryan comes back as Orton hooks a suplex
to pin as Michaels misses count. Orton argues with Shawn for failing to count
him as new champion. “Get off of my back!” HBK – HHH. Tripper asks if Michaels
will do this. Orton soon drops the devastating second rope DDT on Bryan.
 |
| King Randall the Third. And those lips. |
Angry Gorilla Triple H attempts to climb the Cage as Bryan shoves
Orton away who lands into Michaels putting all men on the canvas. Hunter’s
concern for his friend comes through. Tripper orders the ref’s and doctor to
open the cage. Bryan then hit Orton who had the crowd count along a seven count
as Michaels was unavailable. HHH enters to check on Michaels as Bryan spears
into Shawn Michaels as he celebrates. Livid Shawn Michaels sweet chin music’s
Daniel Bryan to the floor as Randy Orton wakes to scuffle over Orton. Michaels
deliberates and reluctantly counts fairly to crown Rand as the new WWE champion
and face of the WWE.
PPV Rating – 5/10
Men/Women of their matches – Roman Reigns, Natalya, Dean Ambrose, CM Punk, Diego, Alberto Del Rio, AJ,
Daniel Bryan
Man/Woman of the PPV – John Cena
Ryback was once again a mass liability. WWE have finally cottoned on to Ryback’s last attitude and distressing ego. Why must you make us say we told you so? But we did. Heyman should never have had Ryback ruin his reputation but WWE could not resist defiance through pride. Ryback needs a pink slip pronto. He has nothing to offer except injuring everyone he works with and still cannot get over. CM Punk however, was implausible and meek. This was not down to Ryback, overall, but it certainly didn’t help, either. As a friendly force, Punk was an aggressive, immoral and discouraging fan favourite that doesn’t require such technique. It was a flop entry none can truly be proud of. The crowd was very silent. Go for surgery.
WWE needed to present John Cena back on television in its shining light once more. That WWE had so little competition available for Rio can only highlight once more the need for fundamental stars. Antonio Cesaro and Damien Sandow await in transit. Rob Van Dam departed last month from a short term WWE contract. WWE were unhappy with such levels of low commitment. Regardless of this, WWE rewarded an inactive superstar with yet another meaningless title win. When cash cow Cena does eventually run out of merchandising sales, who will take over when there is no one else.
One star every ten years is hardly “best for business” is it? What a way to ruin Alberto Del Rio, at the height of making his name once again, despite becoming boring without any real challenging potential. The Cena/Orton figureheads from six months ago have once again become the two top bankable stars in WWE land. Both had marriage break downs beforehand. Both sell merchandise. CM Punk’s knee is injured. No one else is available to be called on.
WWE’s levels of sheer desperation to make noisy Brie Bella a
strong female favourite is not going to work and that’s solely down to the dire
portrayal and inexperience from Bella. No amount of main event tweaking will
help the shambolic Brie Bella as a star. Forget her and move on, it aint
happening. WWE constantly put forward those who can’t achieve and this is why
they run into problems. As well as the fact they don’t know how to book them
anymore in accordance with ever changing audiences.
Los Matadores and their guilty pleasure El Torito has become
an unexpected yet appealing attraction which can only elevate the two matadors’
in the WWE arena. This is one attraction we fully enjoy watching. However, in
regards to Antonio Cesaro’s tandem with Swagger and Colter is another distress
signal and needs to have implementation from above to come out of this and
headline honourable tendencies. Attire will also be key and needs the red trunks
and rugby socks back. The longer he stays with Colter and Co, the longer he
will be ruined, overall.
The Bryan/Orton saga was due its end. Predictable it was
that Bryan would not amount to worthy levels of interest. Perhaps WWE will keep
it open for one last match, next month. Regardless, Bryan has already been
replaced by handpicked Big Show. This is a program no one in the WWE Universe
wishes to see. The lacklustre Big Show taking on the credible Randy Orton. What
a shambles WWE is in. However, Bryan and Orton held their own and both have
been set on a sturdy path, if WWE keep its tracks level with audience involvement.
This doesn’t just mean chanting Yes or No.
 |
| Authority and pawn Orton firmly in control. |
The triple threat tag title was a good show having mixed
detail. At their momentum, Rhodes and Goldust were needed by WWE to reinforce
the tag setting. The storyline permitted such attention; however Cody Rhodes
remains the weakest link, as the most lost and boring star of the division. The
Uso’s and Shielders were superb in offering tag support and held their own. The
three way was a good starter, but the tag division needs a multitude of
challengers, as does very division, which WWE tends to focus on only one per
year. If it can’t contribute to all at once, that is what hiring others is for,
to oversee such creative ideas in order to work with than against. Perhaps WWE
should look into an open thought process with certain vital people to assist
the McMahon hierarchy. Of course, they can’t give every random so and so a high
value stake. Research the market. Open the eyes. Look forward. Is it in front
of you?
Dean Ambrose worked well with the disastrous Big E ‘no
direction, change from IC to US title’ Langston. A liability ready to take
Ryback’s place with no skill or transferable style Langston will be the next in
the long line of big guys who fail dismally. If WWE wish to put such stars
forward it should carefully fine tweak them for stardom rather than waking up one
day and deciding on a whim due to size, ethnicity and height. Is that a gap in
the market, or just a slot to be filled?
Once again Natalya proved star worth. Working a blonde,
leggy bimbo clone once more, Natty was rewarded with another loss and no title
contendership. WWE should be ashamed. She even made Fandango interesting. Khali
was, as usual, a car wreck.
WWE need to prioritise content, people, placement and
superstars accordingly. Such mistakes are always costly and another year in and
WWE has no new star to brag of. Bryan, like Punk before him, has had his summer
solstice. The frivolous times are over and WWE has once again settled for
comfortability with profit than investing into future. WWE will certainly be
able to keep its doors open, but for how long before it becomes so exhausted
with every option, feud and same old title swapping with favourites that have
lost public support? Will they ever learn and can they? Or will it constantly
be another re-run of pay per view every month with adjustments? It needs to severely
understand how to capitalise in a market slowly slipping away from them, day by
day, bit by bit. Driving an audience away is not “best for business” built on a
loyalty rewards package.
© Max Waltham 28th October 2013
