Extreme Rules 2013
Coming live on Pay Per View from the Scottrade center in St. Louis, Missouri on Sunday 19th
May 2013, how could a PPV survive without CM Punk, Undertaker, The Rock and
minimal involvement with Randy Orton? Having sterling figures in John Cena,
Triple H, Ryback and Brock Lesnar would it be able to provide and sustain
platform for entertainment, wrestling and a future of budding young talent
moving forward with progress? Would WWE be able to make this card with a very
tepid list of performers announced exciting and drive a new path of future
through that failed over the last five years?
Fandango w/Summer Rae Vs Chris
Jericho
Snazzy dressed dancer Fandango had his own fanny with him.
It was the return of blonde babe Summer Rae. Rae had been missing fir some weeks
while WWE fretted over discovering the name was the same as a pornography star. Guess
her branding is accurate as every blonde female looker in WWE fits, then. Returning
to television Rae, who is way too eager and over animated ruins her position
and Fanny-D’s.
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| Bloody gorgeous hairstyle! |
Back to the flower future. Call Scooby Doo in the battle of
flamboyance. Jericho and Fannydango began with running the ropes taking down by
the former Dirty Curty, with a swift dropkick retaliation. Elbow smash down by
Y2J. Fandango took outside time. Jericho follows. Kick to gut followed with baseball
slide out. Summer Rae had some interaction. Y2J launched from the top rope to
outside. Strong start for the crowd as Jeri stands on announce table in glee.
Fandango changed pace, Y2J comebacks out of nowhere. Johnny
Curtis is now outside. Corner holds on Y2J now stuck in ropes. Leg up kick. Two fall by Fandango.
Jericho breaks, then run and knee flipped over in a terrible missing exchange.
Two fall. Nailed over ropes leg drop drop down. Two fall. Speaking to Y2J was
heard. Miss by fandango with shoulder down by Jericho. Shoulder down by Y2J, hurled over, hang on,
jump down club. Running bulldog by Jericho. Flipped down to mat, kicked off by ‘Dango.
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Ordering my Christmas lights.
Jackets are so last year. |
Jericho goes for the Walls of (Chris) Jericho. Boot from Y2J. Repetative routine
seen before. Two fall from Jericho. Two fall by Fandango. Hand blows. Laid out in
centre is Jericho. Fandango climbs. Missed the leg drop of doom from above.
Lionsault instead takes a two fall. Chops by Jericho. Run and chase, flipover
by Fandy, roll through. Walls locked in this time. Rope break. High extend leg
to Y2J, running to corner attack. Fandango climbs again. He launched, then
caught mid-air with a codebreaker from a resurged to feet Chris Jericho who
added a three fall onto Fandango’s misfortune to win the match in a boring, but
steady beginning for the crowd interest. Technical challenge but repetitive
routine as always. Nothing new, intuitive nor exciting overall, but has
potential if they had, say a stipulation to drive that forward.
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| Snazzy superstar, Fan-dabulous! |
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| Jericho going for a seat |
Josh had a special guest to speak with. It wasn’t Brock
Lesnar this year. Out came Sheamus. After wittering on we went to the next
match.
Kofi Kingston (c) Vs Dean Ambrose
Dean Ambrose held a strong battle with Kofi Kingston for the
United States Championship in a fair start, slow but building into mid-way action
after standard starts.
Dean Ambrose later took a 2 fall pin after a rope comeback returning
dropkicks. Brawling fists and Kofi kicks added further intensity. Bob Backlund’s
chicken wing was mentioned and utilised as JBL was pleased of recognition. Ambrose fired back with a submission
then charging Kofi into the turnbuckle. Kofi staged a valiant comeback. Jump up
clothesline caught him from opponent in ring Boom drop was soon planted on
Ambrose as Michael Cole gave an absurd “high flying offense” as Kofi jumped up
from a stationary position after running the ropes to a laid out Ambrose on the
mat. High flying offense is in the air, swift and vivid paced action, not stationary.
Following with a jump up leapfrog, counter then caught, Kofi dropped a very
good spiral swift DDT. It was new and intuitive for Kingston, who needs new
repertoire to breeze new style. Climb of turnbuckle, post saw Ambrose strike.
Jerry Lawler gave good
endorsement adding Ambrose as “Unstable but wrestles smart.” JBL responded “a
rational person looks irrational” in debating powerful wrestling forces of
unorthodox presentation. It added to the two in ring giving strength in
commentary. Ambrose was shortly knocked off his perch but return back with a
pleasing double arm suplex off top rope adding more technicality and ground
work to fit the tough brawler brief as all-rounder as capable to a fuller
package of star magnitude. 2 fall followed as he shoved Kofi into the
turnbuckle. Kingston then responded after with a sturdy kick to the mouth of
Dean Ambrose. Cross body fly landing a two count then came. Flipping Ambrose
over, Dean lands on the apron outside jabbing an elbow gut to hold on soon
smacked by Kofi to knock Ambrose off to the outside.
Kofi dragged Ambrose back into the ring, for
another near fall at two. Ambrose grabbed the rope. A roll up and two fall came
after. Kingston missed signature move Trouble in Paradise over the top rope,
then caught by his opponent. Dean Ambrose caught Kofi Kingston smashing a DDT to cover handsomely over Kingston for a
three fall to win and become the new United States Champion
Shield members Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins came out
afterwards to celebrate. Legacy has been reborn.
Strap
Things are about to get extreme! Brace yourselves. WWE chose
to bring out the strap No. This wasn’t the usual strap match. WWE changed it.
Previous strap matches require the first of two to reach a strap and then
us ti against their opponent until they
secure a winning result via pinfall. WWE’s new strap version is a match in
where you are going by a cord, one hand from each participant tied like a tug
of war and with this you must remain one arm tied while attempting to touch all
four corners of the ring posts with traffic lights, sorry, beacons above them
to light up once touched signalling a victory when all four are shining in one
colour. Those lights turn off after a certain time and when dimmed reset the
progress to be made to win. You have to retouch all four in the allotted time. This
is not to be confused with a Texas Bull Rope match.
Clear? Good. Let’s begin. Sheamus began by touching one corner
instantly. Henry responded by nailing Sheamus down, as the pair are joined by
an extended strap, of course, to halt the Celtic Warrior’s attempts to win. The
lights are reset shortly as Sheamus remains on the floor as Henry remains
dormant. This match is meant to help mask Henry’s vivid inaccuracies of being
worn out with such agile movement ruining the pace of a match.
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| What to say...? Thrilling... |
The pair traditionally go back and forth with blows each exemplifying
their seer dominance as big bulky hunks of powerful intent. Yeah, right. Both
soon reach the outside of the ring, where WWE bafflingly as it often does
changes the rules again. Trying to mix it up WWE cause mass confusion and
disgrace the industry further with bungled procedure in order to make it seem
clever which was borderline stupidity. Sheamus touched three corners from the
outside of the match and is deemed legal. Henry then knocks Sheamus from the
apron whith a huge right blow, stopping Sheamus gaining the fourth for victory. It was long enough to hurt Sheamus
to hinder his opportunity and the lights were reset. Henry yanks Sheamey over
the tope rope, because he is that strong, and begins whipping the ginger
warrior. Henry placed Sheamus atop his shoulder and carried the lumber around
with him touching the posts. Rookie mistake made, as possum Sheamus touches the
lights behind Henry also. With such tension at three a piece, both then take
one another out. Wow. Thrilling. Lights return dimmed.
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| Turn your extreme lights on! |
Sheamus decides to add
some content in wrestling entertainment dropping a couple of knee drops. After
whipping henry again Sheamus attempts once more to light his beacons. Henry
again threw him to the outside. Someone forgot to change the loop setting. Outside
Sheamus ludicrously ties Henry around the post stomping him. Sheamus follows up
with pulling the strap to lunge Henry’s face into the post, where Henry shortly
rolls back inside. Sheamus light three
posts. Henry stops the fourth once more. Charging a World’s Strongest Slam,
Sheamus feebly counters to hit a Brogue Kick in enough time to connect and
touch the final post quickly to win the match. The poster boy was never in
doubt.
Kaitlyn and AJ were talking backstage about AJ avoiding the title contest. AJ did not appreciate Kaitlyn calling her unstable ad mocking her. They ended up scrapping infront of the Bella Twins cheering the fight on as bystanders. There was a silver lining. Tamina stumbled
on the ruckus whilst devouring a banana. Now that was funny. Minor
details add so much more if WWE get the rightscene, performer and prop. You
decide which is which. It was the highlight of the show. The Bellas were also eating an apple.
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| Tamina's Banana owns you all. |
"I Quit"
Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter Vs Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez
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| Bored yet? |
Jack Swagger's only chance of remaining relevant, namely Zeb
Colter, chose to speak his indigenous displeasure of migrants in the US. Aiming
to re-enhance “Jack Swagger’s America” which officially failed as a concept last
month at Wrestlemania, dubious druggie Swagger fought Alberto Del Rio again.
Originally a Triple Threat Ladder Match featuring all three
previous winners of Money In the Bank Ladder match cash in’s becoming
Heavyweight champions, the match was cancelled in the last week leading to
Extreme Rules after Swagger mindlessly punted his toe pointed boot into Dolph
Ziggler’s head full on causing a mass legitimate concussion to World Champion
Ziggler on the Smackdown May 10th broadcast. The winner will be the number contender to Dolph's heavyweight title instead. This mishap also changed WWE programming on Extreme Rules as Kaitlyn
was set to defend her Unified Women’s championship in the guise of the Diva’s
title, which hasn’t been defended since Jan-Feb 2013, against former pal and
Ziggler’s girlfriend AJ. The concussion excused AJ from fighting Kaitlyn for
some unknown reasoning. Perhaps they realised the contest would have been
pointless.
We did tell you Ziggler’s World title reign will be a short
and inconsistent one, this mishap will extended a little but is still highly
ineffective. So the match type was altered to an “I Quit” Number One
contender’s match instead.
Swagger and Rio have been in so many matches together on
repeat no one is interested, nor anything can come of it. Rio is falling into
WWE’s boring transition once again after the WWE Championship run dried up.
Swagger has no sustainability in anything and should be released.
As for the cruddy match itself, it was a decent effort, but
too long and boring which has already been seen in the same match layout on Smackdown, Raw and previous PPV. Referee Mike Chiodas constant loud asking of
“Do Ya wanna quit” whilst the fact that all participants in WWE "I Quit" bouts are able to be beaten to a
pulp but allowed to clearly speak the words clear enough. It is simply
unbelievable and ridiculous. An Anything Falls Count Where match or whatever it’s
called would have been better placed to drive some encouragement for fans being
bored of their trolleys.
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In yo face!
Stealin' the show, BABYYYYYY!
Photo Credit: WWE |
The most interesting and laughable end would be the finish.
As Jack Swagger had Alberto Del Rio locked inside the ‘Ankle/Angle’ Patriot
Lock. “Real American” Jack Swagger couldn’t force Rio to tap so easily. Outside
Zeb Colter witnessed Ricardo Rodriguez turn his back a moment for Zeb to run to
Rio’s bucket, containing a towel, to hurl inside the ring. Yes. The referee
instantly called the end for Rio and accepted the towel as a remark to quit.
The lunacy didn’t end there.
The referee, who accepted a towel as means to end a match of
this magnitude, which in itself is a debacle WWE must recognise, added another
farce by checking a monitor ringside. This monitor showed instant replay, which
WWE have religiously vetoed from any match decision. Now following into
Football’s goal line technology or Tennis’ hawkeyed In/Out fault technology, WWE looked an even bigger fool to the wrestling
industry.
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Looking for white figure in corner.
Can you see him/her? |
In January, at Royal
Rumble, Rio tied down the Big Show to win a Last Man Standing Match (as well as using a fire extinguisher) and
Batista’s infamous duct tape loss to John Cena at Over The Limit in 2010 were tedious indiscretions to wrestling principals.
If WWE did not want Rio to look weak, being built up seriously then potentially mutter "I Quit" which mars all chances it simply shouldn't have been booked. In an "I Quit", someone must say those words.
The ref ordered the match to be restarted based on the
instant replay revision. He states “If Alberto Del Rio can continue” then this match
will restart. Swagger attacks Rio’s leg upon standing though Bertie hits a
superkick to the arm of Swagger. Hopping along, Rio locks on the cross
armbreaker. Swagger nearly falls but counters only for Alberto Del Rio to
increase the pressure. Swagger had no option but to quit.
Ryback took an interveiw adding "Difference is I tell the truth." How preposterous Everyone knew that was a Waltham line. Thing is I'm the only one who tells the truth. Liar. You just copy
everything instead. Have you read the exclusive interview with Max Watham here ? - Max Waltham Interview . You're Welcome.
WWE Tag Team Championships
Tornado Tag
The Shield Vs Kane and Daniel Bryan (c)
Daniel Bryan begins with Seth Rollins. The two workhorses
WWE can rely on as the little men who are talented but wont be fully
appreciated started fruitfully. Danny
Boy hit a clothesline followed by swift Mexican Surfboard as Kane deals
with Reigns in this Tornado Tag, meaning all four are in the ring at once. WWE
have finally put the WWE videogame on live television for us. I do miss General
Manager Mode. Kane soon takes a two fall on Reigns. Reign returns flooring
Bryan before back with Kane. Both Shielders dominate their respective height
and muscle counterparts for minutes allowed to look very strong and capable as
a result. Bryan breaks the powerbomb
attempt from both Reigns and Rollins sending Reigns out.
Action returns with Kane holding both members of opposition
by the throats. Big Show wasn’t booked for this one. Kane dropped them both
outside. Bryan delivers a flying torpedo charge to the outside. Kane and Bryan
double team effectively with a powerslam retaliation by Bryan. Both soon signal
Rollins out climbing to the turnbuckles as Kane launches the flying clothesline
quickly supplanted by Daniel Bryan
dropping a diving headbutt.
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| Mmmm... Which one is your Wednesday night puddin'? |
Kane claims a two fall count which Reigns breaks up as Bryan
takes on Reigns trying a Samoan Drop failing as Bryan strives for a roll up
failing then placing the “No” Lock on. Last time it was the “Yes” Lock, and
Bryan, as babyface is recognised as using a No Lock. Hmmm. Kane halts Rollins
entry who returns to break the submission. Kane clutches a chokeslam unaware
Rollins scaled the corner post to fly down on Kane breaking the hold. Reigns
charged the fearful spear on ‘The Big Red Machine’ for two only as Bryan saves.
Bryan then delivered a barrage of vicious kicks to Reigns, as the pair sold
this perfectly.
Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins
planted a double team jump down from top rope foot on neck jab with a follow through powerbomb on Bryan to take the three fall and lift the titles to
become the WWE Tag Team Champions.
Titus O-Mishap 'Neil on an in-house advert for the post show discussion show proved he shouldn't be on TV. Vince thought about making him the new Big E.Langston/Main event champ title run. Seriously.
Another Kelly Kelly clone was added in too. Blonde hair, gabby mouth and enthusiastic smile. Her name is Summer Rae? No, this one is called Maria
Menounous Renne Young. Gawd, this is a hairbrained Stephanie McMahon idea,
isn’t it?
Extreme Rules
Big Show Vs Randy
Orton
How is this extreme? What’s the stipulation? Oh, it’s just
another match. Later towards the end of the match the announce team would
briefly tell us it was an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. We’ll
that’s good to know, isn’t it?
There were kendo sticks galore. What a bore. WWE tried to
throw in everything but the kitchen sink to make the branding of the PPV name
included in what WWE thinks is available to their guidelines on era placement
on TV. Not, extreme, enough.
Big Show entered a humourous botch with a massive lunge over
opponent, missing a clothesline. Show took control of hometown hero Randy Orton
until Orton returned misfortune around. He even brought a ladder out as Show
smashed it into his face with a kick. Show used this in ring to work down
Randall’s arm. Ort came back with a dropkick sending Show tumbling down. Show
then collected two steel chairs to add to the mix. Show assembled the two chairs opened, laying
the ladder horizontally along the two bookends. Show gave a sideslam and pin for two fall. Why
would you try to cover when you've set up for a spot?
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Isn't it annoying when the WWE logo is in he way?
Credit goes to WWE. Or Randy Orton,
depending on how you look at it. |
Orton was then placed along the ladder as Show scaled the
heights of the turnbuckle. Whoops! Show fell down onto the ladder and crashed
through it when Orton moved off of it. The damage wasn’t enough though as Orton
only sustained a two count. Orton then quickly placed Show into the rope and
gave a special top rope drop DDT instead of middle rope. Big Show is too big to
work a middle rope, obviously. Randy drops the RKO but Show kicks out on two.
Orton uses the chair on Show; Show counters numerous chair beatdowns with a
random spear instead. Orton changes the match with a kick to the face of Show
then awaits his slumber to get up as Randy Orton plants the RKO on a chair laid
below for Show to land.
This wasn’t enough for Randy. He’d had enough of being
oppressed. He waited among the corner for Show to rise again, on his knees, as
Randy Orton charged the punt to the skull of Show to then lie atop him for a
three fall ending this unnecessary battle in another consistent effort.
WWE Championship
Last Man Standing
The eleven (in WWE's fiddled record books) time WWE champ was shamefully compared with Bruno Sammartino’s
sterling record at 2803 days. What a disgrace for Bruno’s
name to be constantly downgraded.
“Well we now shall see if Ryback is indeed stronger” JBL
starts, than the almighty John Cena. Can Ryback topple WWE’s golden boy for the
grand prize after losing double figure appearances at every WWE PPV since?
Chants of “Goldberg” continued. This is a continual sign
that signals the character isn’t working, of which defiant Vince McMahon will
not accept as his concept of big bulked muscle man unable to work. The Great
Kahli. Big Show. Mark Henry. Vladimir Kozlov. John Cena. Sheamus. Notice a
pattern? Every single one of them is not relevant, can’t wrestle well and is a
liability in the ring.
Whoever wins, you’re screwed either way.
Cena’s ankle injury was in play Michael Cole informed us. Cena
had sort of, minorly, injured his ankle on Raw
weeks prior. That’s why Ryback booked the stipulation. WWE needed to protect
one half of its booking disaster, especially after a concussed World champion
aborted his position on the card, unwillingly.
“You have to wonder if all those injuries have caught up
with Cena” Jerry Lawler hilariously read from the script from WWE HQ. We must
protect Cena’s incapable image so much so we have to create such ludicrous text
on screen. Cena hasn’t had barely any injuries. If he had, he would have been retired
by now because he would have had to work in the ring for once. That’s why he’s
always WWE champion. If he did he would be off TV by now and wouldn’t be the
stain he is, but when he does need to leave through injury, age etc WWE have no
one in place. They don’t think about that. The day ever nears along. Ryback won’t
be the one. Neither will Sheamus be.
The match was a general bore where Ryback early in the fight
charged into Cena. Cena was down for a preposterous nine count after being hit
with a shoulder block. Cena tends to no sell for real contenders but when unthreatened
with someone like Ryback, who Cena knows wont topple him sells in such a way
that is utterly ridiculous however to WWE big wigs is “selling” for an
opponent. Shrewd.
Action followed later as usual however moments were apparent
in Cena breaking a table from a Ryback fall away slam, which was told as breaking
the table. The table had a minor dent that looked like a glazed swet stain
only.
SuperCena returns with a five knuckle sh*t fall as Ryback
returns to stop an Attitude Adjustment. Cena brought the table in again for a second
time. It failed the first. Ryback made a nine count. Cena knee attacked Ryback.
He soon went into the table. Nine count made by Ryback. Shell shock lifted Cena
as the ref clears the ring. That’s not his job, but with both so inept at ring boundary
awareness, he had to clear the debris from the two liabilities. Cena crawls to
a pathetic nine count.
Ryback carelessly clouts Cena in the back who falls down so
animatedly pathetic. Cena outside, charges a hug meaning to be a spear and
pushes through the barricade with Ryback to “crash” through it according to Jerry,
which saw them push through the Velcro taped partition with tender ease. The
same WWE, Big Show, heavy bulk guy overused often, spot. How sad. It did
nothing for them nor its audience.
“Lets go Cena, Cena sucks” rings out. Wall placards attack
by Ryback who dismantled it. Smash over Cena head. Made nine count once again. Cena
hugged Ryback again in a sleeper hold. As Cena grimaces and Ryback delivers orgasm
moans.
Cena got best of opponent again as Ryback broke an eight
fall. Cena issued one club to the back then places him on table outside so
easily. Cena goes up to one foot steps rung rail in the crowd and elbow drops
Ryback through the table. Ryback gets up at eight, then falls back down again. Cena
brings out the yearly fire extinguisher and gushes Ryback with it. More white
spots than HHH’s dry ice. Soon after the announce team referenced it too. Likeminded
thrills. Ryback’s unattractive laid out open legs leotard in a stupid starfish
position, simply unbelievable, rose to an eight count. Ryback charges John Cena into
the lighting section of the stage and through to the back of it. The referee
tries to prise open the Narnia stage gap but is too weak to do so. Where are
they?
Referees scramble backstage and locate both backstage down and suffering
pain from the smash. No referee is counting. In the Last Man Standing Match,
where both Ryback AND John Cena were down, and seven to ten referees where
there including the official match booked one, no one counted. Why were the rules
changed? Technically it is a double
count out loss. When this result happens, which has been recent before and WWE
failed to act, the Championship should now be vacated as no winner means the
prize is vacated. Once again WWE change the rules, but Cena lost and shouldn’t
be champion, in this case. WWE pulled this angle with Cena before. It was a No contest end, sort of.
WWE soon felt the wrath of the audience who had paid big
money to be there live and at home, conned of an ending with two minor, yet
majorly booked forces in the company, for the biggest prize on offer to bow out
in a no contest result where Cena did a stretcher job. Cena and Ryback matches
often have gimmicks and theatrics to mask their flaws at wrestling and entertaining.
On the following Raw Ryback announced
an Ambulance match in one month’s time at WWE Payback, the new and next PPV.
Ryback sustained no injuries nor pain on the post Extreme Rules Raw. Cena did not appear.
The crowd were extremely pissed at Extreme Rules. They
screamed “Bullsh*t!” at high velocity. Earlier in the evening they had chanted
boos for certain stars also.
We soon cut to an ad for Payback. “Give back what is
deserved. Every wrong doing is a consequence.” Are WWE reading from the Wonder
script? Will they learn? Karma comes in
all shapes and sizes and at the most inconvenient of times. You’re Welcome.
Triple H Vs Brock
Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman
Jerry gave us the informative details of the basis brewing
between the two forces. He claimed ‘Brock’ ‘The Beast’ Lesnar had “Pushed
everyone’s buttons” and was going to “pay the price” adding attacks on Triple H’s
offices and family. Triple H is always the corporate victim, isn’t he? It’s ok
when he can justify his unfair onslaughts as fair, right? Did he attack anyone
else’s ‘family’?
With the basis burning bright and deep, Triple H was ready
to show his returning credentials as a relevant force once again in the ring
during the absence of new talents.
Not content with following Wrestlemania legend Undertaker,
Randy Orton or other matches and placing’s to place blame on for failing to
have a good match and going on last not to be upstaged by John Cena, Triple H
was ready to deliver so tough times to Brock Lesnar. After a Summerslam,
Wrestlemania and tiresome feud throughout Hunter subjected us to a third,
gripping installment salivated on ego
alone. The announce team even inform us that the Cage has now been “specially
built” for Triple H and Brock. Because making the Cage bigger is better, right?
It doesn’t matter about using the steel structure or action inside it, of
course.
As Brock entered toward the cage noble Tripe H snuck up on
Lesnar from behind with an assault. Babyface Triple H, taking Lesnar from
behind the aisle the Tripe H routine continues with traditional spinebuster and
Pedigree attempt, blocked by Brock, back dropped into the steel. Lesnar changed
altitude and flung Tripper over the ring from side to side smashing into the
steel walls. Trips could be loudly heard conversing with Brock.
HHH came back with the jump up knee. Brock lifted the German
Suplex in response. Brock mauled Hunter until Tripper got a tiny jab in when
slammed by Lesnar affecting the big beefcake’s knee. Poor Brock. He was in such
pain, screaming at henchman Heyman for help. His knee was hurt but was locked
inside the cage. With H lingering, Brock battled through and hard running body
slammed Triple H down though aggravated the troublesome knee further. Brock could not contain his unbearable pain with
vocal yells. Wish he would scream like that at me. Don’t worry, I’ll look after
you. :)
Lesnar clamps on the Kimura but HHH knee’s his way out of
it. Lesnar clubs Hunter down with a clothesline. Heyman opens the door guiding
Brock to victory. HHH stops Lesnar from behind and instead plans on leaving.
With a man hell bent on gaining retribution why would you leave so easily? WWE
really do forget the details of their own storylines dreamt up don’t they?
Heyman outside shoved the referee and shut the door as Triple H neared it. Lesnar
creeps behind to return his own receipt on Triple H who came for a fight for no
sustainable reason, suffered an F5 for his troubles. Heyman instructs Brock to
use the chair. Better Heyman to instruct than Hunter. After voicing concerns to
his agent, Brock’s knee buckles when trying another F5. Triple H sees an
opening to attack any weakness he can visibly go for, and reworks the same spot
at Lesnar’s knee. Heyman pleads Triple H to reconsider his onslaught of
demolition potentially ruining him in the longrun. Triple H ignores Heyman’s
honourable advice and does it anyway.
Moving Lesnar to the corner to begin his assault, Triple H
is taken aback by the electrophysiology stirring in Lesnar who launches the Kimura lock on once more. HHH
later returns with a figure four leg lock after the pair work a transition
period. (The Miz only made the pre-show but Triple H made the main event. Both used
the figure four leg lock.) Power monger Triple H intensifies his dominating
pressure as the almighty force to challenge. Lesnar soon reverse’s Triple H’s attempt
to silence him and cranks up the pressure using it against him instead.
Lesnar then scales the cage wall seeking an escape. As Brock
nears the peak of the steel mountain, Triple H, below clutching a steel chair
goes after the apparent weakness once again hitting the leg of Lesnar. Lesnar
drops to the ground in pain. The Game smirks as he reaches the top to expose a
silver sledgehammer. The camouflaged apparatus, we are to believe was secretly
hidden by Triple H beforehand, intended to use but was a victim of his own ego
and knocked by Lesnar. Finding another way, Brock picked up the silver mallet
but missed, as mediocre Triple H used his ego furthermore to prove a point to
critic Bret “The Hitman” Hart by using a sharpshooter finisher which was
applied rather cheaply.
Sensing the best move in the business, of which ego ridden
Triple H realised and borrowed, may have destroyed Brock’s chances, Heyman
entered the cage in a bold move. HHH then charges for Heyman giving a Pedigree
only to give another to Brock, now recovered to his feet, somewhat. As he held
the hammer, Heyman smashed Hunter’s goolies with a low blow. Outraged, Lesnar
now took the hammer and smashed it in Triple H’s jaw. Lesnar roared around the
laid out Triple H and hoisted him up for an F5. Triple H was thrashed into the
floor as Brock Lesnar covered him for a three fall finish in a telling tussle. JBL came close with line of the night stating “That
was a world class classic.” He does get paid to say those lines.
Men/Women of their matches – Fandango, Kofi Kingston,
Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Ryback, Brock Lesnar
Man/Woman of the PPV – Brock Lesnar
 |
| Even his nip-slip is highly unattractive |
Hoping people who hate Cena to like Ryback isn’t working
because they dislike Ryback equally on the same metirous principals. Trying to
manipulate them with that one is not easy, clever nor going to work. No matter
how much Vince’s pet project egos he flaunts will work…. No matter what he
tries. That is a sign to pull it, but McMahon does not want shame. The more you
persist so crazily the more it makes your ego fail and your perception is lost
in your so call genius legacy of businessmanship. Entrepreneur. If you
realised, and let it go after a few tries it would not have harmed you to say
ok it’s not working, no more. Instead McMahon wants HIS things to work and can’t
see any other way forward. The result is a catastrophe waiting to implode. It
will never catch on. How much time and resources will be wasted in the run up
to realisation? When it is time to pull it, most fans will have left or become
so disengaged and grown up, they will offer WWE no loyalty as they have done
the same trying to force feed an idea of one persistent man assumptive of how
the business will lap up a model with muscle type instead of a character built on
reality and wrestling principals instead.
Getting through Swagger's ugly
seated rope position, the ridiculous false start, towel ending constitution and
hazy referee finally needing instant replay out of the blue to destroy
wrestling principals, the boring match featured time and time again has no
place any longer. WWE repeat the same thing because it has no other stars as
well as relying on extending a feud as far as it can go before exhausting
completely which harms all involved in their next feuds they head onto. It was unfortunate
Dolph Ziggler suffered concussion, yet this was nothing in hindsight to change
how WWE book its stars overall. It relies on the same broken formula every
time.
Zeb Colter is being looked at to
launch a new stable. WWE need to can this idea, ditch Zeb from programming
because he is uninteresting, not relative and ugly adding no value apart from
being a capable talker WWE favour. It wont create new talent. Using government in angles and “ Caribbean Cardinals” after Linda McMahon’s failed political aspirations continue to mar
the show further. There is no need for it at this time.
After a vivid amount of matches
with Damien Sandow, WWE could and should have continued with this series even
if only a match than a feud between Sandow and Orton. Orton needs viable competition and Sandow, like others, have immense qualities and technical
workability. Of course, Sandow is the mirror image of Max Waltham, just as Brad
Maddox, meaning WWE will spite any advances to a future because their ideas are
so rotten and hate a clever one not theirs. Not on their payroll means its not
exclusive to them. They thieve it anyway. As long as we can book favourites
like Big Show and Henry, because they are Vince’s loyal yearly followers, which
ruin the changing landscape of a future with failure to adapt, it doesn’t
matter that new opportunities were held down, in WWE eyes.
 |
Summer Rae, Porn and Kelly Kelly.
Good combo, right? |
Ryback has taken a whole year to
get over. Yes ONE whole YEAR. Ryback is still not over, nor has any following
and doesn’t have any place on the show or in angles. Plodding along in no man’s
land, without anything to show for his time nor any notable matches or feuds
and thrust into a favourite position with company lovey John Cena, Ryback, who
cannot lift, work well, deliver nor sell and is a huge liability to health in
the ring, while inept at standing in front of a camera to read from Stephanie
McMahon’s script, the concept, ‘star’ and opportunities have failed yet again.
WWE need to shelve their pride and make an actual star that could change WWE
for the future rather than run it into the ground. Simply put, WWE have no clue
who to give it to. Wrestling Wonders knows many who could benefit, but this is
WWE, son.
As for the lovely Cena himself,
unable to sell yet again but try to so cartoonishly for someone he understands
is no threat to his WWE crown, and not the gold trinket at the waist, Cena will
attempt to sell for anyone who looks feeble to save his own fortunes. Cena is a
rather clever gent playing WWE from under their own noses. Hilarious. WWE think
they rule the roost. Cena will only job
for somebody when his career is not in jeapodary.
 |
| Table 'broke.' |
Triple H’s ego could not bear to
remain of television any longer. Fine. We stated before minimal appearances if
he desires could work if done correctly. Triple H did drop one once more for
Lesnar. Many debate this as another power play knowing how favoured Lesnar was.
If it was an up and comer or Antonio Cesaro, for example, Triple H would
dominate them in thirty seconds. Regardless, Tripper rode Brock’s coattails and
put on a match hoping to prove he wasn’t “mediocre.” (Hart, B :2013) Instead
the match was held by Lesnar with fine details in minor proportions enacted subliminally.
Triple H did a fair job, but wasn’t anything to shout about. It was standard
and full of ego centric proving for no reason. When Edge was world champion on Smackdown, absent from TV Hunter
demanded he be moved to Raw so Triple H could beat him to remain dominant
heavyweight champion. Really.
 |
Hey babe, where you at?
Milk cartons at the ready. |
Fandango and Jericho’s loud match
calling, silly tarts ringside and bungled wrestling all over the place is not
any part enthralling any more. Sloppy,
limp and devoid of character, from two characters on WWE programming saw this
horrid meringue collapse in WWE’s opening oven. Plus WWE''s Fandangoing handling including Karaoke lyrics on entrance screens was pathetic.
The Shield’s triple title acquisition
was a given and necessary. IT was a highlight, however Kofi Kingston entered
one of his best outings in a while. Given the right competition both played of
one another well. Cesaro, however, guided Kingston further along to a new
outlook well in preparation for Ambrose’s US title capture. Kingston was full of
colour in a thrilling recover. The tag champs were righto be Reigns and Rollins
and WWE got that part right.
Sheamus and Mark Henry was the
worst booking anyone could have hoped for. Could Sheamus not have gone against
Sandow or Cesaro either? No. Mark Henry MUST be booked. Because Vince said so.
That is your logic. That’s What I Do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Henry re-injured his shoulder in the match and may return as babyface as originally intended.
WWE once again ignored its WWE Divas.
Granted, it doesn’t have man, but Kaitlyn, the champion since January hasn’t
been seen defending the title for at least three months on PPV! That’s as long
as a general title reign. That officially makes her the worst female champion
in WWE history below Kelly Kelly. Way to go, girl! AJ, of course is allowed to
avoid the match, already booked, because her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler suffered
concussion. Yeah. OK.
The Miz defeated Cody Rhodes on the pre-show
to prove he had returned to WWE from filming the new movie whatever it’s
called. WWE felt it needed to prove The Miz was back after we received an
anonymous tip off last month that put Miz in doubt after allegations he had
smoked Marijuana. IF he has, then WWE has hidden this indiscretion very well, as
this would be PR workhorse Miz’s second wellness violation.
With constant failings WWE is losing its plot, place in the markets, fans and interest. Unable to book a solid card filled with boring, laboured and favoured characters instead of wrestling desires in unison with entertainment, WWE are slipping its edge away as number one in the pro wrestling landscape despite its capital investments able to re-run the same show every month for the next few years. There is no faith in the Universe when the show cannot do it right. WWE need to get strong structure in place than mess, over convoluted, last minute throw togethers.
© Max Waltham 22nd May 2013
WWE’s future looks extremely
bleak. 
