WWE Hell in a Cell 2015
WWE presented its Hell in a Cell extravaganza live on Pay Per View, Sunday 25th October from the Staples Centre in Los Angeles, California. A menacing structure being the chance for stars to grow into new moulds, would WWE structure its PPV with such? Could anyone really grow into its new frontbearer with such skill and technique? Or would it be up t the same old favourites to be called upon?
Let’s find out.
United States Championship
John Cena (c) Vs Mystery Opponent
|WWE's prized turkey, |
in time for thanksgiving.
This match was a poor attempt to create some buzz with the lacking surprise return of Alberto Del Rio.He was introduced by Zeb Colter, on a motourised scooter. How was this funny?
Everyone knew whoever was walking out the curtain would relieve Cena of the title That’s why they had some cheers. It was a cheap pop that won’t materialise any further. WWE’s defiance with ignorant and racist Rio will not be beneficial. The US title is nothing more than a cheap accessory that no-one truly cares about once again, and all its lineage Cena built has been wiped clean. It is back to being a completely useless trade-off.
For his credit Cena did what he could to make Alberto Del Rio look appealing on his return, where Rio was too over enthusiastic on moves and missed any real clarity. It was a wasted opportunity where someone in the back could have made good progress on the title and its succession beyond Cena. On racists, domestic abuser Rio, it will fail dismally. Cheap pops help no-one.
After getting rid of one racist in Hulk Hogan, WWE replace him with another in Alberto Del Rio, who was fired for such along with physical abuse in a publicly employed setting, with many witnesses.
Be a star.
Hell in a Cell
Roman Reigns Vs Bray Wyatt
This was a terrible scramble and made a mess of everything. The look of the match with two guys is what WWE hoped it would carry the drama. To an extent it did, but not enough to have any level of real credibility after the bout.
Reigns showed off his attempts to be a powerful man, sidelining Wyatt at every turn. Wyatt, just like when he fought Cena in a previous Cell, once again was booked as a feeble and weak plaything no-one could truly get behind. Why should they? It was ridiculous. WWE believe it was a great job. That’s where the problem lies then, isn’t it? Standards are slipping.
|It must be love... :)|
Roman Reigns won with a spear leading to pin from out of nowhere. Not much of the Cell was used. Truly a letdown, even if WWE are trying to make Reigns the new John Cena during his absence. Didn’t they already have a year to do this? Reigns needs at least a year to develop. It won’t work this way. Only fools rush in.
Tag Team Championship
New Day (c) Vs The Dudley Boyz
Not much to say except New Day won when Kofi Kingston smashed ignorant Bubba Ray Dudley with a Trouble in Paradise. New Day made a great effort but it was just another empty and forgettable match. Go to the toilet.
WWE Divas Championship
Charlotte (c) Vs Nikki Bella
The champion of Divas, Nikki Bella told us she gave us the Divas Revolution, which has since long been destroyed by WWE so quickly before it started. Charlotte responded with a “Woo!”
Nikki is naughty again. She official joined the Big Show one month swithcherooing club.
Charlotte strolled on like an extra to a remix of her daddy’s music and opened her arms. A poor entrance with no flair once again. Complete flunkie.
The pair started the traditional divas match with a lock-up and push back to ropes for one to take a lead. It was Charlotte with a weak set of moves initiated by Bella and Charlie “Woo’ed” as soon as she did her first big move. She did some pathetic, non-connective punches that were clearly missable on Nikki. They went outside and the crowd felt included by “woo!”ing. That’s what Charlotte’s reign is made of. Some cheers for Nikki were there.
Nikki gained control as Charlotte “hit her back on the barricade” Michael Cole said. He then said Bella was a great champion, after telling us all that Nikki couldn’t gain an advantage on a flunkie by her own power.
Charlotte flipped out of a Bella suplex with slaps as Bella tried some roll over pins. Nikki slammed her down with a good knee to face buster. That was the only highlight here.
Nikki then flipped over a single leg crab as Charlotte over did her silly sex noises as pain, before Nikki even landed the move. It looked as poor as it sounded. Charlotte continued to scream ridiculously throughout when hold was broken.
Charlotte got a cheap opportunity and opportunistic boot from nowhere to try and be something.
|Lucky sperm club member Charlotte, |
so called Divas champion,
famous by her daddy.
Now Cole tells us Nikki had punished Charlotte because of the back pain earlier. The same back move you said Charlotte hurt herself on. So which is it?
Nikki missed a move and hurt her knee, to give Charlotte an edge to capitalise. Charlotte’s consistently weak moves proved ever more a flunkie like Paige before her. There was no thrill here. Nikki did a superplex at the top to let Charlotte get a reverse head scissors flip into Hurricanrana which was botched entirely. Charlotte locked in a Figure 8 as Nikki got to the ropes. Nikki shoved Charlotte out of the ropes , who still has no grace in falling out of them.
Nikki kept good offence and tried a back move as fans cheered her. Charlotte locked in a cheap side lock of the Figure 8 from literally nowhere to retain the title in her first real defence and a pitifully green match. Now Becky and Paige celebrate with her. The same Paige who turned on her weeks ago. Laughable and pointless. The revolution left us a long time ago.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) Vs Kane
- If Kane loses, he must resign as Director of Operations.
Oh! This one is not a Hell in a Cell as many assumed. The single match main event was filled with Seth Rollins flying around and Kane manhandling him with Raw power. Even sexy referee Rod Zapata entertained telling them “Hey not the hair!” while others thought it would be funny if Kane’s hair fell off.
After a while of playing around Kane got a good chokeslam on Rollins, but the crowd really weren’t too into it. They gave a little here or there for funsies, but booed a lot. No WWE, they were not booing the tone of the match, just the whole lacklustre structure of its booking.
Kane will always put in his all and prove a pro . It is not his fault but the show was poor as a match and Rollins needed a real contender that was believable and not a silly gimmick worn to the point of lunacy. Rollins powerbombed Kane onto an announce table, putting him down on the ground for a bit.
Rollins and his weak flying knee looked tiresome and boring. No one could truly respect how low Rollins has come since becoming champion. Even a frog splash and the animated o face on Rollins losing a pin at two failed to help. Chants of late great Eddie Guerrero was pleasing but not for Rollins as a lame attempt to get over.
Kane got up with a Chokeslam grip only to be nailed with a very loose Pedigree which made no sense. Kane was defeated by Seth Rollins for a victory and close to Hell in a Cell. Damn that was poor. The stake was high. Corporate Kane will now not be a part of WWE TV anymore. Is that it? Was a poor stipulation of 'No more suited Kane' (which no-one wanted anymore to begin with) really that believable for the WWE Universe? WWE also tried to exploit Eddie Guerrero for some ratings with Hispanic inclusion rather than respecting late greats. Seth has been given his Frog Splash to get some ratings up.
Nope. Seth Rollins can’t even main event.
The most unfulfilling PPV yet. Mediocre.
Kevin Owens (c) Vs Ryback
Human bowling ball with legs verses a flaming ninja turtle. Owens whined almost every moment, as well as feeding Ryback lines of what to do next for their moves masquerading as a talented match. Isn’t that hilarious?
Ryback pummeled Owens the entire match until Kevin Owens won on a cheap technicality. The crowd were not into either of them as WWE had anticipated and attempted to manipulate fans in one or the other as consolation. These two are a ratings winner. HaHaHa.
Owens even cheapened the title by putting the IC title on his son and flaunting it on Twitter. Owens, who said never to include his family in anything, just put them center stage and has crippled WWE’s linage with the IC title as well as kayfabe in general. So you can make yourself an ignorant exception, can you? No respect whatsoever. This man needs his pink slip. WWE have lost it. There is no respect anymore and has lost its respect from audiences, fans and others.
WWE Hell in a Cell
The Undertaker Vs Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman
Part-timer Lesnar enters to a couple of fireworks.
Undertaker is pissed off and slams that door shut. Brock is sweating already. Lesnar, looking like a pungent reject stinking out his boots and shorts.
Lesnar dumped early to the outside with ease by Taker. Lesnar’s waist jelly shuffle.
After a couple of jabs Lesnar is busted open already after his hand hit a turnbuckle post. How is that possible? WWE allowed Lesnar to use a blood capsule when the camera wasn’t looking. WWE allowed itself to rbeak its own rules on a no blood policy in matches. Huh!? Talk about corrupt.
The fans boo as Lesnar takes a moment to recover. Lesnar hacks Taker with chairs as the sound machine from under the ring adds extra effects to make it sound more connective. The wires were seen in the corner of the cell to boost sound transmission, too. Lesnar’s chair tap on Taker’s arm was shown again.
Taker was now bloodied a bit without any real hard notable attack to bleed from. Ever the mystery. Such fresh blood would be dripping, not resting, perfectly in place, surely?
Lesnar ran behind Taker for a quick suplex opportunity. Three suplexes and an F5 later and Lesnar still cannot get the job done. Another cheap F5 wasn't enough for weakling Lesnar. The referee put his rubber gloves on. It’s about to get kinky. Someone might need a colostomy bag after this one.
Lesnar and Taker did their double submissions hold once again like the double decision months ago. No one wanted this again.
Lesnar ripped a portion of the ring up as Undertaker got up to walk the boards. Undertaker Chokeslammed Lesnar on the ring board. This match is just like when A.J Styles did the board exposure in TNA. Taker nailed the Tombstone Piledriver on the exposed wood board. Lesnar kicked out on two.
Fans chanted “This is awful” as the announcers said it was “This is awesome.”
Brock Lesnar used a low blow to get by in this relatively loose action packed match. Brock Lesnar used an F5 in the poorest way to beat The Undertaker in a three fall victory.
No-one is unbeatable. There is a time a place and a purpose – Jerry Lawler.
The fans sang a chorus of chirping bird seed with “Thank You Taker” Yes they mean well, but turned it into a farce by saying it this way. They didn't even know what they were chanting for. Say it once or twice, okay. Not for the sake of it. It looks foolish and destroy's 'Taker's legacy, what's left of it. Now he just looks like an old fool with no mystique. It’s not over yet.
Bray Wyatt appears. The crowd doesn’t really care as it should do. After a little beat down unconvincingly, The Wyatt Family carried The Undertaker out of the show, to finally close the very poor show. It failed to fully interest even with a what next motion.
PPV Rating – 3/10
Men/Women of their matches – John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Kofi Kingston, Nikki Bella, Seth Rollins, Ryback, The Undertaker
Man/Woman of the PPV – Bray Wyatt
Tonight’s PPV had all the necessary tools to make it a success. Once again, WWE chose not to capitalise on its assets. Clueless what to do and who to go with, with certain illogical decisions and wrong champion bearers, they are still wondering how it is possible they lost ratings to begin with. Perhaps Triple H’s personal projects and ego could take a backseat and maybe WWE would excel? Currently it is like a poor indie come TNA joint collaboration. One that does not encourage the WWE faithful on any level.
A main event that couldn’t main event with Kane and Seth Rollins was another pitiful and useless exchange. After such a build-up, there was no fire, outbursts or demonic ‘stuff’ from Kane. Four weeks ago he dragged Seth Rollins to hell from a open patch under the ring. Seth appeared on Raw the next week. No power or tantalising effects were assisting Kane. Rollins did his best and Kane worked hard as is always relied on, but the pair can only go so far. WWE’s wayward booking and sandwiched into the middle lost any momentum it could have. Rollins looks like another stand-in champion than a glorified star. It is Chris Benoit’s title reign all over again. Fans did not want this at all, even if they love both men.
WWE’s main event with The Undertaker losing to a part-timer who is only in the business to make money and farm, namely Brock Lesnar was another mismanaged decision. This was their last collision. Undertaker lost to the part timer who has not benefited from the Wrestlemania Streak victory at all once again. Fans are not impressed. The numbers don’t seem to be, either. The match was poor and no patch on anything previously created. WWE must run angles to the point of exhaustion rather than refined booking. This is the result. Undertaker gave great effort but was treated weakly again. Do WWE ever learn?
Bray Wyatt lost a crucial match to reinvent his position in WWE. Instead WWE gave the win to a lukewarm and nowhere near over Roman Reigns. WWE have realised with John Cena’s time off till the New Year, WWE need a new star. They decided to push forward with Reigns. With it nothing has still materialised. Reigns was weak, put in another standard routine and did not look powerful in the slightest. Anyone remember when the McMahon’s fought Big Show in a cell? Pitiful.
Bray Wyatt’s beatdown and carry off of The Undertaker was a bit of a daft decision. It could have ben performed much better and was so loosely filled that it made no sense. Presumably this will be a passing of the torch moment, yet WWE have stumbled on Wyatt so many times, trying to make him their distorted version of a Max Waltham hybrid, that it fails. Because WWE are not Max Waltham. All they have to do is email. Is it really that difficult? Wyatt has never taken off and WWE cannot expect him to materialise to their estimations when always dropped so nonsensically. WWE are setting up a Survivor Series four man match against the Wyatt Family and Undertaker, Kane, Reigns and Dean Ambrose in efforts to get them all over. It will fail at this rate under some cheap pops and no thought out structure.
|Pre-show plaudits. Yet had people come to see him. |
Weird. Why's he looking at me as if he wants me? :o
(Come out of a shower soon, okay?)
WWE swapped one racist for another. Seen a mile off, WWE wanted to be antagonistic to Wrestling Wonders over the advice of failings in re-hiring ignorant racist abuser Alberto Del Rio. McMahon, who is said to be desperate to get a Hispanic superstar on the books, put Rio in place to win John Cena’s United States Championship. WWE once again overlooked its entire roster who could be developed considerably. Fired for slapping and being racist on television in Mexican, Rio, who has played the race card to cover his own actions, has not won any plaudits from fans. He is also on TV with Zeb Colter, a racist anti-immigration campaigner. Mexican Del Rio has won the United States Championship, a title Cena brought up to value, to be crippled to nothingness again. America’s grand title, held by a Canadian, Mexican and Russian in succession over the last year, is resigned to a futile rag. This won’t increase the ratings. WWE should have left the washed up Rio in the doldrums and chased a real star. What will he do now? Continue to say it was his “Destiny?” Hmm.
John Cena has taken his leave of absence and won’t be back until the New Year at least. Cue a Royal Rumble surprise and victory, no less. Don’t hold out hope for a new star to rise. Apparently Cena requested the time off in the Summer. It was revealed however, that Cena plans to go onto a rival television show as a guest judge helping out. WWE were notable annoyed but could not argue as they have backed themselves into a corner with its top merchandise seller. At least we have three months. Will WWE use this to make someone new? Of course not.
The tag titles were a nothing match. That’s what happens when some old hat tag team who can’t draw today are involved. New Day did their best. Why they were brought back for a cheap nostalgia pop was redundant. The ratings, along with returning ignorant old timers on Raw post HIAC lowered them. WWE think they would have increased them. They fail to heed good advice. The ratings are down. Ignorance is not a virtue.
Ignorant bowling ball with legs conning his way to the Intercontinental title was as redundant as they come. Kevin Owens not only continues to make a mockery of the titles he is GIVEN not earned by way of the Triple H friends appreciation society destroys everything WWE could hope for. He needs to be sacked and off television. The ratings are down and can never go up with some outdated block of immovable velocity in Kevin Owens. He does nothing for WWE. Their vanity in Triple H is truly costly with such ignorance. Ryback was also forgettable and non-existent. No-one cares about either. WWE are playing a silly and dangerous game here.
Nikki Bella put in all the effort to carry the ever green Charlotte, famous for being the ignorant, washed up old coot Ric Flair. Cue the Woo’s. Is that all you can do? Some Diva’s revolution. Charlotte needs to drop that title immediately. Then Nikki can have some real competition and grow as a respectable star she once attempted to be. Team PCB must be quashed. Paige and Charlotte need to return to NXT. Paige needs sacking, too.
Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose were dropped from a scheduled pre-show tag match. They did not appear on the main card. Dolh Ziggler, Cesaro and Neville beat Sheamus, Wade Barrett and Rusev in a warm-up match of no value. Thanks for coming.
Hell in a Cell was weakly laid out, had terrible choices made and the titles are on all the people who cannot carry the company. WWE has put the titles on all its Triple H favourites. How’s that working out? Is it truly “Best for Business” to be so personal and distort WWE overall? Vince McMahon went to bed a billionaire once, and woke up a millionaire. You won’t get a second chance if you’re not careful. Today’s age is much different. If you can’t figure out what will make WWE truly succeed, then it’s not going to improve at all. You’re in London soon. Why not invite me for a chat? I am the only one WWE needs and t knows it, but it is too stubborn to give the job and will find all diversions before heading back to square one. I’m very easy to work with, but your attitude is neglecting the product. McMahon prides himself being able to regain all his old stars he has attitude with yet Max Waltham is the one he just can't get, no matter how he feels. At a loss you may be. Lose your ego and fix the product. Or it will crumble, even if the doors stay open. No-one will want to come in anymore. They will find an alternative and it won’t be NXT. That’s half the problem. All ignorance must be cleansed.
How are the ratings?
© Max Waltham 26th October 2015
All Rights Reserved