Tuesday, 28 May 2013

WWE hire minor high-flyer

Del Sol signs with 
WWE Developmental

This week WWE have signed a new high flying star from the crumbling independent circuit. Samuray del Sol received the contract on Sunday and was desperate to sign as soon as he could.

WWE selected him because he was Mexican and equally desperate to capture demographics to raise TV figures from the area to increase revenue.

Del Sol recently appeared on May 25th in an inferior British Wrestling promotion’s contest where he was eliminated in the first round. Sol put in a diabolical match performance. WWE had removed him from Indy bookings across the globe as a term to signing.

Flabby thighs Sol.
Married Del Sol signed on May 26th.

Struggling independent Del Sol, who hasn’t been very monumental in the wrestling scene and plucked out of thin air due to demographics, high flying and wearing an orange mask (figure that one out) Sol, who is good friends with Sami Zayn, formerly El Generico, who was hired for being able to speak multiple languages, many already feel del sol is a waste of time and talent to WWE added with the fact no-one knows who he is, nor cares about him at all. WWE’s credibility at hiring new talent is further under challenge. With Triple H hiring another infeasible choice, many question his attempts to take over the future of WWE as Vince McMahon’s natural successor which has already dipped. With this signing Triple H has laid his cards on the table and further supported the failure of talent acquisition.

Triple H’s mediocrity further stains the illogical choices, with his pet projects previously failing despite huge television exposure in the form of WWE diva Kharma and Mexican flop Sin Cara. With Rey Mysterio on his way out and WWE lacking flyers it felt the need to hire, however chose a random selection with no real sustainable talent. Skirt wearing del sol is someone who will get you through the odd match a couple of times, and then will be nothing more overall. We all need a toilet break, don’t we?

WWE’s future looks extremely bleak.

Many other stars are undergoing WWE medical tests as a pre-requisite before hiring. WWE plan on and will sign hopeless thug Sami Callihan next. They should u-turn on Sol instantly and release him and drop Callihan if it is to save face and contain credible company outlook for the future. These choices do not fit into a modern day WWE no matter how much training they receive, they just won’t adapt. When you take away the costume, there’s nothing really there.
WWE have also given try-outs to Mike Bennett, Adam Cole (who is on the verge of signing) and Shaun Ricker, whoever he is, to name a few. They also plan to offer Davey Richards, who teased retirement, an offer at the end of his June-July contract this year. They should drop that one instantly. Little muffin Richards does not fit the mould of WWE at all and will flop in sixty seconds.

If WWE, of all the people in the world, as a company, cannot hire accurate choices and selects random, unheard of people just to put a WWE stamp on them as ‘ours’ to prove ego that it can find new stars which Max Waltham actual has and nurtures them to have a following in audience appreciation just to prove Triple H and WWE’s ego then it will not have a growing outlook for a chance to remain appealing any further in the future. Desperate to also prove himself to daddy-in law, Hunter has proven he cannot fully drive a prospect home and just hires to attempt to impress Vince’s mind based on looks, muscle, height and, ‘oh yeah, he’ll do’. WWE has no chance of growth at this rate. 

©  Max Waltham 28th May 2013

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Introducing Curtis Axel

Paul’s Heyman's New 
Guy Revealed

Capable look now ruined by name
After numerous teases WWE confirmed it would reveal the newest “Paul Heyman Guy” on this previous Monday Night Raw episode. (20th May 2013) Obvious to Wrestling Wonders was the hidden gem the WWE Universe plucked straws at.

Heyman’s new guy, joining the ranks of Brock Lesnar and CM Punk would have to be someone new, fresh, young and talented. WWE do have enough of those in surplus backstage.

The new man was announced. Michael McGuillicutty strode out to a new theme and titantron saying Curt Axel. Who is this? Yes, Michael McGuillicutty is no more. Curtis Axel, changed at the last minute by WWE who planned it as Curt Axel, stuck the former rookie with Paul Heyman. If anyone can make him Max Waltham Paul Heyman can.

Triple H is reportedly ‘high’ on the former NXT superstar. McGuillicutty has also trained stars like Brock Lesnar and The Rock in their return matches and helped with match layout including the Wrestlemania Rock/Cena I extravanagnza.

Joe Hennig, whose name change was to acknowledge as respecting his late father’s legacy as Curtis Axel, wanted a new name instead of Michael McGuillicutty feeling the name was holding him back. It is a shame. Michael McGuillicutty fitted him and was actually a better and capable name to make a star from. Hennig disagreed. Axel has been born. It will fail despite WWE’s efforts to defy that statement.

Triple H instantly launched himself into a match with Axel as the main event. Everyone already sensed what would come, and sure enough, it did. Triple H, king of career killing, dominated McGuillicutty constantly, barely allowing him any offence.

Expect numerous "Perfect" innuedendos 

Afterwards Tripper felt weezy and sat outside. The giddy Game almost tipped over and had medics check on him to begin a concussion angle. Fans were baffled after a real concussed Dolph Ziggler was off TV, as champion, due to concussion.

Giddy Game
A chance of a new star thrilled the WWE Universe, then the anticipation sank. Fans knew as soon as Triple H would be involved McGuillicutty (who he will always be typecast as) stood no chance at making his name. It officially ended before it began.  Numerous times Wrestling Wonders has praised McGuillicutty and now, WWE, Hennig and Hunter had indeed ruined any chance of this prospect to be anything more than a wannabe on the edge of the precipice of which WWE will make sure crumbles beneath him. 

WWE always feel they need to put on a third generation name tag on all its wrestlers to get them over, and yet those are the one's that can get over on their own merit without their legacy flaunted if pushed. WWE disagrees and therefore makes a song and dance about heritage which makes absolutely no sense as a gimmick because it already ruins them to start with as well as what they must live up to, also. 

Battle of the lovehandles

Another massive WWE fail only this time on branding of which Vince McMahon is often referred to as ‘the king of’ which has proven his crown has fallen to his online hated alter ego with every way forward for young, budding talent.  Once more, WWE failed to launch a new talent the right way and ‘their’ way does not look bright for any star hoping to rise, even if they sign with the promotion from the independent circuits. Curtis Axel is done. All because you wanted to change your name. Good luck, kid.

©  Max Waltham 25th May 2013

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

WWE Extreme Rules 2013

Extreme Rules 2013

Coming live on Pay Per View from the Scottrade center in St. Louis, Missouri on Sunday 19th May 2013, how could a PPV survive without CM Punk, Undertaker, The Rock and minimal involvement with Randy Orton? Having sterling figures in John Cena, Triple H, Ryback and Brock Lesnar would it be able to provide and sustain platform for entertainment, wrestling and a future of budding young talent moving forward with progress? Would WWE be able to make this card with a very tepid list of performers announced exciting and drive a new path of future through that failed over the last five years?

Fandango w/Summer Rae Vs Chris Jericho

Snazzy dressed dancer Fandango had his own fanny with him. It was the return of blonde babe Summer Rae. Rae had been missing fir some weeks while WWE fretted over discovering the name was the same as a pornography star. Guess her branding is accurate as every blonde female looker in WWE fits, then. Returning to television Rae, who is way too eager and over animated ruins her position and Fanny-D’s. 

Bloody gorgeous hairstyle!
Back to the flower future. Call Scooby Doo in the battle of flamboyance. Jericho and Fannydango began with running the ropes taking down by the former Dirty Curty, with a swift dropkick retaliation. Elbow smash down by Y2J. Fandango took outside time. Jericho follows. Kick to gut followed with baseball slide out. Summer Rae had some interaction. Y2J launched from the top rope to outside. Strong start for the crowd as Jeri stands on announce table in glee.

Fandango changed pace, Y2J comebacks out of nowhere. Johnny Curtis is now outside. Corner holds on Y2J now stuck  in ropes. Leg up kick. Two fall by Fandango. Jericho breaks, then run and knee flipped over in a terrible missing exchange. Two fall. Nailed over ropes leg drop drop down. Two fall. Speaking to Y2J was heard. Miss by fandango with shoulder down by Jericho.  Shoulder down by Y2J, hurled over, hang on, jump down club. Running bulldog by Jericho. Flipped down to mat, kicked off by ‘Dango. 

Ordering my Christmas lights.
Jackets are so last year. 
Jericho goes for the Walls of (Chris) Jericho. Boot from Y2J. Repetative routine seen before. Two fall from Jericho. Two fall by Fandango. Hand blows. Laid out in centre is Jericho. Fandango climbs. Missed the leg drop of doom from above. Lionsault instead takes a two fall. Chops by Jericho. Run and chase, flipover by Fandy, roll through. Walls locked in this time. Rope break. High extend leg to Y2J, running to corner attack. Fandango climbs again. He launched, then caught mid-air with a codebreaker from a resurged to feet Chris Jericho who added a three fall onto Fandango’s misfortune to win the match in a boring, but steady beginning for the crowd interest. Technical challenge but repetitive routine as always. Nothing new, intuitive nor exciting overall, but has potential if they had, say a stipulation to drive that forward.

Snazzy superstar, Fan-dabulous!

Jericho going for a seat

Josh had a special guest to speak with. It wasn’t Brock Lesnar this year. Out came Sheamus. After wittering on we went to the next match.

US Championship
Kofi Kingston (c) Vs Dean Ambrose

Dean Ambrose held a strong battle with Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship in a fair start, slow but building into mid-way action after standard starts. 

Dean Ambrose later took a 2 fall pin after a rope comeback returning dropkicks. Brawling fists and Kofi kicks added further intensity. Bob Backlund’s chicken wing was mentioned and utilised as JBL was pleased of recognition. Ambrose fired back with a submission then charging Kofi into the turnbuckle. Kofi staged a valiant comeback. Jump up clothesline caught him from opponent in ring Boom drop was soon planted on Ambrose as Michael Cole gave an absurd “high flying offense” as Kofi jumped up from a stationary position after running the ropes to a laid out Ambrose on the mat. High flying offense is in the air, swift and vivid paced action, not stationary. Following with a jump up leapfrog, counter then caught, Kofi dropped a very good spiral swift DDT. It was new and intuitive for Kingston, who needs new repertoire to breeze new style. Climb of turnbuckle, post saw Ambrose strike.

Jerry Lawler gave good endorsement adding Ambrose as “Unstable but wrestles smart.” JBL responded “a rational person looks irrational” in debating powerful wrestling forces of unorthodox presentation. It added to the two in ring giving strength in commentary. Ambrose was shortly knocked off his perch but return back with a pleasing double arm suplex off top rope adding more technicality and ground work to fit the tough brawler brief as all-rounder as capable to a fuller package of star magnitude. 2 fall followed as he shoved Kofi into the turnbuckle. Kingston then responded after with a sturdy kick to the mouth of Dean Ambrose. Cross body fly landing a two count then came. Flipping Ambrose over, Dean lands on the apron outside jabbing an elbow gut to hold on soon smacked by Kofi to knock Ambrose off to the outside.

Kofi dragged Ambrose back into the ring, for another near fall at two. Ambrose grabbed the rope. A roll up and two fall came after. Kingston missed signature move Trouble in Paradise over the top rope, then caught by his opponent. Dean Ambrose caught Kofi Kingston smashing a DDT to cover handsomely over Kingston for a three fall to win and become the new United States Champion

Shield members Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins came out afterwards to celebrate. Legacy has been reborn.

Mark Henry Vs Sheamus

Things are about to get extreme! Brace yourselves. WWE chose to bring out the strap  No. This wasn’t the usual strap match. WWE changed it. Previous strap matches require the first of two to reach a strap and then us  ti against their opponent until they secure a winning result via pinfall. WWE’s new strap version is a match in where you are going by a cord, one hand from each participant tied like a tug of war and with this you must remain one arm tied while attempting to touch all four corners of the ring posts with traffic lights, sorry, beacons above them to light up once touched signalling a victory when all four are shining in one colour. Those lights turn off after a certain time and when dimmed reset the progress to be made to win. You have to retouch all four in the allotted time. This is not to be confused with a Texas Bull Rope match.

Clear? Good. Let’s begin. Sheamus began by touching one corner instantly. Henry responded by nailing Sheamus down, as the pair are joined by an extended strap, of course, to halt the Celtic Warrior’s attempts to win. The lights are reset shortly as Sheamus remains on the floor as Henry remains dormant. This match is meant to help mask Henry’s vivid inaccuracies of being worn out with such agile movement ruining the pace of a match.

What to say...? Thrilling...
The pair traditionally go back and forth with blows each exemplifying their seer dominance as big bulky hunks of powerful intent. Yeah, right. Both soon reach the outside of the ring, where WWE bafflingly as it often does changes the rules again. Trying to mix it up WWE cause mass confusion and disgrace the industry further with bungled procedure in order to make it seem clever which was borderline stupidity. Sheamus touched three corners from the outside of the match and is deemed legal. Henry then knocks Sheamus from the apron whith a huge right blow, stopping Sheamus gaining the fourth for victory. It was long enough to hurt Sheamus to hinder his opportunity and the lights were reset. Henry yanks Sheamey over the tope rope, because he is that strong, and begins whipping the ginger warrior. Henry placed Sheamus atop his shoulder and carried the lumber around with him touching the posts. Rookie mistake made, as possum Sheamus touches the lights behind Henry also. With such tension at three a piece, both then take one another out. Wow. Thrilling. Lights return dimmed. 

Turn your extreme lights on!
Sheamus decides to add some content in wrestling entertainment dropping a couple of knee drops. After whipping henry again Sheamus attempts once more to light his beacons. Henry again threw him to the outside. Someone forgot to change the loop setting. Outside Sheamus ludicrously ties Henry around the post stomping him. Sheamus follows up with pulling the strap to lunge Henry’s face into the post, where Henry shortly rolls back inside.  Sheamus light three posts. Henry stops the fourth once more. Charging a World’s Strongest Slam, Sheamus feebly counters to hit a Brogue Kick in enough time to connect and touch the final post quickly to win the match. The poster boy was never in doubt.

Kaitlyn and AJ were talking backstage about AJ avoiding the title contest. AJ did not appreciate Kaitlyn calling her unstable ad mocking her. They ended up scrapping infront of the Bella Twins cheering the fight on as bystanders. There was a silver lining. Tamina stumbled on the ruckus whilst devouring a banana. Now that was funny. Minor details add so much more if WWE get the rightscene, performer and prop. You decide which is which. It was the highlight of the show.  The Bellas were also eating an apple. 

Tamina's Banana owns you all.

"I Quit" 
Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter Vs Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez

Bored yet?
Jack Swagger's only chance of remaining relevant, namely Zeb Colter, chose to speak his indigenous displeasure of migrants in the US. Aiming to re-enhance “Jack Swagger’s America” which officially failed as a concept last month at Wrestlemania, dubious druggie Swagger fought Alberto Del Rio again.

Originally a Triple Threat Ladder Match featuring all three previous winners of Money In the Bank Ladder match cash in’s becoming Heavyweight champions, the match was cancelled in the last week leading to Extreme Rules after Swagger mindlessly punted his toe pointed boot into Dolph Ziggler’s head full on causing a mass legitimate concussion to World Champion Ziggler on the Smackdown May 10th broadcast. The winner will be the number contender to Dolph's heavyweight title instead. This mishap also changed WWE programming on Extreme Rules as Kaitlyn was set to defend her Unified Women’s championship in the guise of the Diva’s title, which hasn’t been defended since Jan-Feb 2013, against former pal and Ziggler’s girlfriend AJ. The concussion excused AJ from fighting Kaitlyn for some unknown reasoning. Perhaps they realised the contest would have been pointless.

We did tell you Ziggler’s World title reign will be a short and inconsistent one, this mishap will extended a little but is still highly ineffective. So the match type was altered to an “I Quit” Number One contender’s match instead.

Swagger and Rio have been in so many matches together on repeat no one is interested, nor anything can come of it. Rio is falling into WWE’s boring transition once again after the WWE Championship run dried up. Swagger has no sustainability in anything and should be released.

As for the cruddy match itself, it was a decent effort, but too long and boring which has already been seen in the same match layout on Smackdown, Raw and previous PPV. Referee Mike Chiodas constant loud asking of “Do Ya wanna quit” whilst the fact that all participants in WWE "I Quit" bouts are able to be beaten to a pulp but allowed to clearly speak the words clear enough. It is simply unbelievable and ridiculous. An Anything Falls Count Where match or whatever it’s called would have been better placed to drive some encouragement for fans being bored of their trolleys.

In yo face!
Stealin' the show, BABYYYYYY!

Photo Credit: WWE

The most interesting and laughable end would be the finish. As Jack Swagger had Alberto Del Rio locked inside the ‘Ankle/Angle’ Patriot Lock. “Real American” Jack Swagger couldn’t force Rio to tap so easily. Outside Zeb Colter witnessed Ricardo Rodriguez turn his back a moment for Zeb to run to Rio’s bucket, containing a towel, to hurl inside the ring. Yes. The referee instantly called the end for Rio and accepted the towel as a remark to quit. The lunacy didn’t end there.

The referee, who accepted a towel as means to end a match of this magnitude, which in itself is a debacle WWE must recognise, added another farce by checking a monitor ringside. This monitor showed instant replay, which WWE have religiously vetoed from any match decision. Now following into Football’s goal line technology or Tennis’ hawkeyed In/Out fault technology, WWE looked an even bigger fool to the wrestling industry.

Looking for white figure in corner.
Can you see him/her?
In January, at Royal Rumble, Rio tied down the Big Show to win a Last Man Standing Match (as well as using a fire extinguisher) and Batista’s infamous duct tape loss to John Cena at Over The Limit in 2010 were tedious indiscretions to wrestling principals.

If WWE did not want Rio to look weak, being built up seriously then potentially mutter "I Quit" which mars all chances it simply shouldn't have been booked. In an "I Quit", someone must say those words. 

The ref ordered the match to be restarted based on the instant replay revision. He states “If Alberto Del Rio can continue” then this match will restart. Swagger attacks Rio’s leg upon standing though Bertie hits a superkick to the arm of Swagger. Hopping along, Rio locks on the cross armbreaker. Swagger nearly falls but counters only for Alberto Del Rio to increase the pressure. Swagger had no option but to quit.

Ryback took an interveiw adding "Difference is I tell the truth."  How preposterous  Everyone knew that was a Waltham line. Thing is I'm the only one who tells the truth. Liar. You just copy everything instead. Have you read the exclusive interview with Max Watham here ? -   Max Waltham Interview . You're Welcome.

WWE Tag Team Championships
Tornado Tag
The Shield Vs Kane and Daniel Bryan (c)

Daniel Bryan begins with Seth Rollins. The two workhorses WWE can rely on as the little men who are talented but wont be fully appreciated started fruitfully. Danny  Boy hit a clothesline followed by swift Mexican Surfboard as Kane deals with Reigns in this Tornado Tag, meaning all four are in the ring at once. WWE have finally put the WWE videogame on live television for us. I do miss General Manager Mode. Kane soon takes a two fall on Reigns. Reign returns flooring Bryan before back with Kane. Both Shielders dominate their respective height and muscle counterparts for minutes allowed to look very strong and capable as a result.   Bryan breaks the powerbomb attempt from both Reigns and Rollins sending Reigns out.

Action returns with Kane holding both members of opposition by the throats. Big Show wasn’t booked for this one. Kane dropped them both outside. Bryan delivers a flying torpedo charge to the outside. Kane and Bryan double team effectively with a powerslam retaliation by Bryan. Both soon signal Rollins out climbing to the turnbuckles as Kane launches the flying clothesline quickly supplanted by Daniel Bryan dropping a diving headbutt.

Mmmm... Which one is your Wednesday night puddin'?
Kane claims a two fall count which Reigns breaks up as Bryan takes on Reigns trying a Samoan Drop failing as Bryan strives for a roll up failing then placing the “No” Lock on. Last time it was the “Yes” Lock, and Bryan, as babyface is recognised as using a No Lock. Hmmm. Kane halts Rollins entry who returns to break the submission. Kane clutches a chokeslam unaware Rollins scaled the corner post to fly down on Kane breaking the hold. Reigns charged the fearful spear on ‘The Big Red Machine’ for two only as Bryan saves. Bryan then delivered a barrage of vicious kicks to Reigns, as the pair sold this perfectly.

Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins planted a double team jump down from top rope foot on neck jab with a follow through powerbomb on Bryan to take the three fall and lift the titles to become the WWE Tag Team Champions.

Evolution is reborn.

Titus O-Mishap 'Neil on an in-house advert for the post show discussion show proved he shouldn't be on TV. Vince thought about making him the new Big E.Langston/Main event champ title run. Seriously. 

Another Kelly Kelly clone was added in too. Blonde hair, gabby mouth and enthusiastic smile. Her name is Summer Rae? No, this one is called Maria Menounous Renne Young. Gawd, this is a hairbrained Stephanie McMahon idea, isn’t it?

Extreme Rules
Big Show Vs Randy Orton

How is this extreme? What’s the stipulation? Oh, it’s just another match. Later towards the end of the match the announce team would briefly tell us it was an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. We’ll that’s good to know, isn’t it?

There were kendo sticks galore. What a bore. WWE tried to throw in everything but the kitchen sink to make the branding of the PPV name included in what WWE thinks is available to their guidelines on era placement on TV. Not, extreme, enough.

Big Show entered a humourous botch with a massive lunge over opponent, missing a clothesline. Show took control of hometown hero Randy Orton until Orton returned misfortune around. He even brought a ladder out as Show smashed it into his face with a kick. Show used this in ring to work down Randall’s arm. Ort came back with a dropkick sending Show tumbling down. Show then collected two steel chairs to add to the mix.  Show assembled the two chairs opened, laying the ladder horizontally along the two bookends.  Show gave a sideslam and pin for two fall. Why would you try to cover when you've set up for a spot?

Isn't it annoying when the WWE logo is in he way?
Credit goes to WWE. Or Randy Orton,
depending on how you look at it.
Orton was then placed along the ladder as Show scaled the heights of the turnbuckle. Whoops! Show fell down onto the ladder and crashed through it when Orton moved off of it. The damage wasn’t enough though as Orton only sustained a two count. Orton then quickly placed Show into the rope and gave a special top rope drop DDT instead of middle rope. Big Show is too big to work a middle rope, obviously. Randy drops the RKO but Show kicks out on two. Orton uses the chair on Show; Show counters numerous chair beatdowns with a random spear instead. Orton changes the match with a kick to the face of Show then awaits his slumber to get up as Randy Orton plants the RKO on a chair laid below for Show to land. 

This wasn’t enough for Randy. He’d had enough of being oppressed. He waited among the corner for Show to rise again, on his knees, as Randy Orton charged the punt to the skull of Show to then lie atop him for a three fall ending this unnecessary battle in another consistent effort.

WWE Championship
Last Man Standing

John Cena (c) Vs Ryback

The eleven (in WWE's fiddled record books) time WWE champ was shamefully compared with Bruno Sammartino’s sterling record at 2803 days. What a disgrace for Bruno’s name to be constantly downgraded.

“Well we now shall see if Ryback is indeed stronger” JBL starts, than the almighty John Cena. Can Ryback topple WWE’s golden boy for the grand prize after losing double figure appearances at every WWE PPV since?

Chants of “Goldberg” continued. This is a continual sign that signals the character isn’t working, of which defiant Vince McMahon will not accept as his concept of big bulked muscle man unable to work. The Great Kahli. Big Show. Mark Henry. Vladimir Kozlov. John Cena. Sheamus. Notice a pattern? Every single one of them is not relevant, can’t wrestle well and is a liability in the ring.

Whoever wins, you’re screwed either way.   
Cena’s ankle injury was in play Michael Cole informed us. Cena had sort of, minorly, injured his ankle on Raw weeks prior. That’s why Ryback booked the stipulation. WWE needed to protect one half of its booking disaster, especially after a concussed World champion aborted his position on the card, unwillingly.  

“You have to wonder if all those injuries have caught up with Cena” Jerry Lawler hilariously read from the script from WWE HQ. We must protect Cena’s incapable image so much so we have to create such ludicrous text on screen. Cena hasn’t had barely any injuries. If he had, he would have been retired by now because he would have had to work in the ring for once. That’s why he’s always WWE champion. If he did he would be off TV by now and wouldn’t be the stain he is, but when he does need to leave through injury, age etc WWE have no one in place. They don’t think about that. The day ever nears along. Ryback won’t be the one. Neither will Sheamus be.

The match was a general bore where Ryback early in the fight charged into Cena. Cena was down for a preposterous nine count after being hit with a shoulder block. Cena tends to no sell for real contenders but when unthreatened with someone like Ryback, who Cena knows wont topple him sells in such a way that is utterly ridiculous however to WWE big wigs is “selling” for an opponent. Shrewd.

Action followed later as usual however moments were apparent in Cena breaking a table from a Ryback fall away slam, which was told as breaking the table. The table had a minor dent that looked like a glazed swet stain only.

SuperCena returns with a five knuckle sh*t fall as Ryback returns to stop an Attitude Adjustment. Cena brought the table in again for a second time. It failed the first. Ryback made a nine count. Cena knee attacked Ryback. He soon went into the table. Nine count made by Ryback. Shell shock lifted Cena as the ref clears the ring. That’s not his job, but with both so inept at ring boundary awareness, he had to clear the debris from the two liabilities. Cena crawls to a pathetic nine count.

Ryback carelessly clouts Cena in the back who falls down so animatedly pathetic. Cena outside, charges a hug meaning to be a spear and pushes through the barricade with Ryback to “crash” through it according to Jerry, which saw them push through the Velcro taped partition with tender ease. The same WWE, Big Show, heavy bulk guy overused often, spot. How sad. It did nothing for them nor its audience.

“Lets go Cena, Cena sucks” rings out. Wall placards attack by Ryback who dismantled it. Smash over Cena head. Made nine count once again. Cena hugged Ryback again in a sleeper hold. As Cena grimaces and Ryback delivers orgasm moans.

Cena got best of opponent again as Ryback broke an eight fall. Cena issued one club to the back then places him on table outside so easily. Cena goes up to one foot steps rung rail in the crowd and elbow drops Ryback through the table. Ryback gets up at eight, then falls back down again. Cena brings out the yearly fire extinguisher and gushes Ryback with it. More white spots than HHH’s dry ice. Soon after the announce team referenced it too. Likeminded thrills. Ryback’s unattractive laid out open legs leotard in a stupid starfish position, simply unbelievable, rose to an eight count. Ryback charges John Cena into the lighting section of the stage and through to the back of it. The referee tries to prise open the Narnia stage gap but is too weak to do so. Where are they?

Referees scramble backstage and locate both backstage down and suffering pain from the smash. No referee is counting. In the Last Man Standing Match, where both Ryback AND John Cena were down, and seven to ten referees where there including the official match booked one, no one counted. Why were the rules changed?  Technically it is a double count out loss. When this result happens, which has been recent before and WWE failed to act, the Championship should now be vacated as no winner means the prize is vacated. Once again WWE change the rules, but Cena lost and shouldn’t be champion, in this case. WWE pulled this angle with Cena before. It was a No contest end, sort of. 

WWE soon felt the wrath of the audience who had paid big money to be there live and at home, conned of an ending with two minor, yet majorly booked forces in the company, for the biggest prize on offer to bow out in a no contest result where Cena did a stretcher job. Cena and Ryback matches often have gimmicks and theatrics to mask their flaws at wrestling and entertaining. On the following Raw Ryback announced an Ambulance match in one month’s time at WWE Payback, the new and next PPV. Ryback sustained no injuries nor pain on the post Extreme Rules Raw. Cena did not appear.

The crowd were extremely pissed at Extreme Rules. They screamed “Bullsh*t!” at high velocity. Earlier in the evening they had chanted boos for certain stars also.

We soon cut to an ad for Payback. “Give back what is deserved. Every wrong doing is a consequence.” Are WWE reading from the Wonder script? Will they learn?  Karma comes in all shapes and sizes and at the most inconvenient of times. You’re Welcome.

Triple H  Vs Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman

Jerry gave us the informative details of the basis brewing between the two forces. He claimed ‘Brock’ ‘The Beast’ Lesnar had “Pushed everyone’s buttons” and was going to “pay the price” adding attacks on Triple H’s offices and family. Triple H is always the corporate victim, isn’t he? It’s ok when he can justify his unfair onslaughts as fair, right? Did he attack anyone else’s ‘family’?

With the basis burning bright and deep, Triple H was ready to show his returning credentials as a relevant force once again in the ring during the absence of new talents.

Not content with following Wrestlemania legend Undertaker, Randy Orton or other matches and placing’s to place blame on for failing to have a good match and going on last not to be upstaged by John Cena, Triple H was ready to deliver so tough times to Brock Lesnar. After a Summerslam, Wrestlemania and tiresome feud throughout Hunter subjected us to a third, gripping installment salivated on ego alone. The announce team even inform us that the Cage has now been “specially built” for Triple H and Brock. Because making the Cage bigger is better, right? It doesn’t matter about using the steel structure or action inside it, of course.

As Brock entered toward the cage noble Tripe H snuck up on Lesnar from behind with an assault. Babyface Triple H, taking Lesnar from behind the aisle the Tripe H routine continues with traditional spinebuster and Pedigree attempt, blocked by Brock, back dropped into the steel. Lesnar changed altitude and flung Tripper over the ring from side to side smashing into the steel walls. Trips could be loudly heard conversing with Brock.

HHH came back with the jump up knee. Brock lifted the German Suplex in response. Brock mauled Hunter until Tripper got a tiny jab in when slammed by Lesnar affecting the big beefcake’s knee. Poor Brock. He was in such pain, screaming at henchman Heyman for help. His knee was hurt but was locked inside the cage. With H lingering, Brock battled through and hard running body slammed Triple H down though aggravated the troublesome knee further.  Brock could not contain his unbearable pain with vocal yells. Wish he would scream like that at me. Don’t worry, I’ll look after you. :)

Lesnar clamps on the Kimura but HHH knee’s his way out of it. Lesnar clubs Hunter down with a clothesline. Heyman opens the door guiding Brock to victory. HHH stops Lesnar from behind and instead plans on leaving. With a man hell bent on gaining retribution why would you leave so easily? WWE really do forget the details of their own storylines dreamt up don’t they? Heyman outside shoved the referee and shut the door as Triple H neared it. Lesnar creeps behind to return his own receipt on Triple H who came for a fight for no sustainable reason, suffered an F5 for his troubles. Heyman instructs Brock to use the chair. Better Heyman to instruct than Hunter. After voicing concerns to his agent, Brock’s knee buckles when trying another F5. Triple H sees an opening to attack any weakness he can visibly go for, and reworks the same spot at Lesnar’s knee. Heyman pleads Triple H to reconsider his onslaught of demolition potentially ruining him in the longrun. Triple H ignores Heyman’s honourable advice and does it anyway.

Moving Lesnar to the corner to begin his assault, Triple H is taken aback by the  electrophysiology stirring in Lesnar who launches the Kimura lock on once more. HHH later returns with a figure four leg lock after the pair work a transition period. (The Miz only made the pre-show but Triple H made the main event. Both used the figure four leg lock.) Power monger Triple H intensifies his dominating pressure as the almighty force to challenge. Lesnar soon reverse’s Triple H’s attempt to silence him and cranks up the pressure using it against him instead.

Lesnar then scales the cage wall seeking an escape. As Brock nears the peak of the steel mountain, Triple H, below clutching a steel chair goes after the apparent weakness once again hitting the leg of Lesnar. Lesnar drops to the ground in pain. The Game smirks as he reaches the top to expose a silver sledgehammer. The camouflaged apparatus, we are to believe was secretly hidden by Triple H beforehand, intended to use but was a victim of his own ego and knocked by Lesnar. Finding another way, Brock picked up the silver mallet but missed, as mediocre Triple H used his ego furthermore to prove a point to critic Bret “The Hitman” Hart by using a sharpshooter finisher which was applied rather cheaply.

Sensing the best move in the business, of which ego ridden Triple H realised and borrowed, may have destroyed Brock’s chances, Heyman entered the cage in a bold move. HHH then charges for Heyman giving a Pedigree only to give another to Brock, now recovered to his feet, somewhat. As he held the hammer, Heyman smashed Hunter’s goolies with a low blow. Outraged, Lesnar now took the hammer and smashed it in Triple H’s jaw. Lesnar roared around the laid out Triple H and hoisted him up for an F5. Triple H was thrashed into the floor as Brock Lesnar covered him for a three fall finish in a telling tussle.  JBL came close with line of the night stating “That was a world class classic.” He does get paid to say those lines.

PPV Rating – 2/10

Men/Women of their matches – Fandango, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Ryback, Brock Lesnar

Man/Woman of the PPV – Brock Lesnar

Even his nip-slip is highly unattractive
Hoping people who hate Cena to like Ryback isn’t working because they dislike Ryback equally on the same metirous principals. Trying to manipulate them with that one is not easy, clever nor going to work. No matter how much Vince’s pet project egos he flaunts will work…. No matter what he tries. That is a sign to pull it, but McMahon does not want shame. The more you persist so crazily the more it makes your ego fail and your perception is lost in your so call genius legacy of businessmanship. Entrepreneur. If you realised, and let it go after a few tries it would not have harmed you to say ok it’s not working, no more. Instead McMahon wants HIS things to work and can’t see any other way forward. The result is a catastrophe waiting to implode. It will never catch on. How much time and resources will be wasted in the run up to realisation? When it is time to pull it, most fans will have left or become so disengaged and grown up, they will offer WWE no loyalty as they have done the same trying to force feed an idea of one persistent man assumptive of how the business will lap up a model with muscle type instead of a character built on reality and wrestling principals instead.

Getting through Swagger's ugly seated rope position, the ridiculous false start, towel ending constitution and hazy referee finally needing instant replay out of the blue to destroy wrestling principals, the boring match featured time and time again has no place any longer. WWE repeat the same thing because it has no other stars as well as relying on extending a feud as far as it can go before exhausting completely which harms all involved in their next feuds they head onto. It was unfortunate Dolph Ziggler suffered concussion, yet this was nothing in hindsight to change how WWE book its stars overall. It relies on the same broken formula every time.

Zeb Colter is being looked at to launch a new stable. WWE need to can this idea, ditch Zeb from programming because he is uninteresting, not relative and ugly adding no value apart from being a capable talker WWE favour. It wont create new talent.  Using government in angles and “ Caribbean Cardinals” after Linda McMahon’s failed political aspirations continue to mar the show further. There is no need for it at this time.

After a vivid amount of matches with Damien Sandow, WWE could and should have continued with this series even if only a match than a feud between Sandow and Orton. Orton needs viable competition and Sandow, like others, have immense qualities and technical workability. Of course, Sandow is the mirror image of Max Waltham, just as Brad Maddox, meaning WWE will spite any advances to a future because their ideas are so rotten and hate a clever one not theirs. Not on their payroll means its not exclusive to them. They thieve it anyway. As long as we can book favourites like Big Show and Henry, because they are Vince’s loyal yearly followers, which ruin the changing landscape of a future with failure to adapt, it doesn’t matter that new opportunities were held down, in WWE eyes.

Summer Rae, Porn and Kelly Kelly.
Good combo, right?
Ryback has taken a whole year to get over. Yes ONE whole YEAR. Ryback is still not over, nor has any following and doesn’t have any place on the show or in angles. Plodding along in no man’s land, without anything to show for his time nor any notable matches or feuds and thrust into a favourite position with company lovey John Cena, Ryback, who cannot lift, work well, deliver nor sell and is a huge liability to health in the ring, while inept at standing in front of a camera to read from Stephanie McMahon’s script, the concept, ‘star’ and opportunities have failed yet again. WWE need to shelve their pride and make an actual star that could change WWE for the future rather than run it into the ground. Simply put, WWE have no clue who to give it to. Wrestling Wonders knows many who could benefit, but this is WWE, son.

As for the lovely Cena himself, unable to sell yet again but try to so cartoonishly for someone he understands is no threat to his WWE crown, and not the gold trinket at the waist, Cena will attempt to sell for anyone who looks feeble to save his own fortunes. Cena is a rather clever gent playing WWE from under their own noses. Hilarious. WWE think they rule the roost. Cena will only job for somebody when his career is not in jeapodary.

Table 'broke.'
Triple H’s ego could not bear to remain of television any longer. Fine. We stated before minimal appearances if he desires could work if done correctly. Triple H did drop one once more for Lesnar. Many debate this as another power play knowing how favoured Lesnar was. If it was an up and comer or Antonio Cesaro, for example, Triple H would dominate them in thirty seconds.  Regardless, Tripper rode Brock’s coattails and put on a match hoping to prove he wasn’t “mediocre.” (Hart, B :2013) Instead the match was held by Lesnar with fine details in minor proportions enacted subliminally. Triple H did a fair job, but wasn’t anything to shout about. It was standard and full of ego centric proving for no reason. When Edge was world champion on Smackdown, absent from TV Hunter demanded he be moved to Raw so Triple H could beat him to remain dominant heavyweight champion. Really.

Hey babe, where you at?
Milk cartons at the ready.
Fandango and Jericho’s loud match calling, silly tarts ringside and bungled wrestling all over the place is not any part enthralling any more.  Sloppy, limp and devoid of character, from two characters on WWE programming saw this horrid meringue collapse in WWE’s opening oven. Plus WWE''s Fandangoing handling  including Karaoke lyrics on entrance screens was pathetic. 

The Shield’s triple title acquisition was a given and necessary. IT was a highlight, however Kofi Kingston entered one of his best outings in a while. Given the right competition both played of one another well. Cesaro, however, guided Kingston further along to a new outlook well in preparation for Ambrose’s US title capture. Kingston was full of colour in a thrilling recover. The tag champs were righto be Reigns and Rollins and WWE got that part right.

Sheamus and Mark Henry was the worst booking anyone could have hoped for. Could Sheamus not have gone against Sandow or Cesaro either? No. Mark Henry MUST be booked. Because Vince said so. That is your logic. That’s What I Do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Henry re-injured his shoulder in the match and may return as babyface as originally intended.

WWE once again ignored its WWE Divas. Granted, it doesn’t have man, but Kaitlyn, the champion since January hasn’t been seen defending the title for at least three months on PPV! That’s as long as a general title reign. That officially makes her the worst female champion in WWE history below Kelly Kelly. Way to go, girl! AJ, of course is allowed to avoid the match, already booked, because her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler suffered concussion. Yeah. OK.

The Miz defeated Cody Rhodes on the pre-show to prove he had returned to WWE from filming the new movie whatever it’s called. WWE felt it needed to prove The Miz was back after we received an anonymous tip off last month that put Miz in doubt after allegations he had smoked Marijuana. IF he has, then WWE has hidden this indiscretion very well, as this would be PR workhorse Miz’s second wellness violation. 

With constant failings  WWE is losing its plot, place in the markets, fans and interest. Unable to book a solid card filled with boring, laboured and favoured characters instead of wrestling desires in unison with entertainment, WWE are slipping its edge away as number one in the pro wrestling landscape despite its capital investments able to re-run the same show every month for the next few years. There is no faith in the Universe when the show cannot do it right. WWE need to get strong structure in place than mess, over convoluted, last minute throw togethers. 

©  Max Waltham 22nd May 2013